“Are you sure I shouldn’t stay?” asked Kyuhyun dropping his bag to the floor.

He was standing in the middle of his bedroom after just getting ready to go out with Siwon standing across from him with a smile.

“Kyu, you’ve been putting this off for weeks now. Everyone is already waiting for you at the studio. Daerim-ah will be fine, it’s just a little fever,” said Siwon cupping Kyuhyun’s face.

“There’s nothing little about her fever Wonnie, the doctor said we have to monitor her closely— started Kyuhyun as he motioned over towards her.

“Which is what I intend to do. Both of us don’t have to be here for that. Today is your day to go to work and my day to stay home with our baby. It’s what we agreed on, remember?” asked Siwon and he leaned forward and kissed Kyuhyun’s forehead.

“Yes…I remember, but you’ll call me if anything goes wrong, right?” sighed Kyuhyun.

“I promise,” said Siwon staring him in the eyes with a look of complete sincerity.

“And you’ll remember to keep the fan on her, right? The doctor said we have to try and keep her cool,” said Kyuhyun glancing at her again as she lay in the middle of their bed, the fan blowing cool air over her little body.

Siwon nodded.

Kyuhyun sighed with a pout.

“I know you’re fully capable of taking care of her, it’s just that I don’t want to leave her,” he mumbled. “Sick or no sick.”

“I understand baby, but it’s good for you to get out of the house every once and a while and it’s good for Daerim-ah as well. She needs to get used to spending time with others and you not being there. Now this way, she and I can have some time together,” said Siwon Kyuhyun’s cheek.

Kyuhyun nodded as Siwon leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

“You’re right,” he softly agreed.

“But this is not just about me and her. I want you to go and enjoy yourself as much as possible, okay? Try to focus all of your energy on singing. Everything will be right here when you get back,” said Siwon as their foreheads touched.

Kyuhyun gave a small smile, “okay Wonnie.”

“You promise you’ll genuinely try?” asked Siwon as his hands slipped down to Kyuhyun’s waist.

“Yes,” giggled Kyuhyun as Siwon tickled his sides.

“Good, now get going before Manager Hyung scolds you!” he said giving Kyuhyun’s bum a quick tap.

They had agreed if would be easier for both Daerim and Kyuhyun if he didn’t hug or kiss her goodbye just before he left, so Kyuhyun could only glace over Siwon’s shoulder at his daughter lying on the bed.

After Siwon released him, Kyuhyun bent down to pick up his bag. Not wanting to leave Daerim alone for even a moment, Siwon stayed at their bedroom door as Kyuhyun made his way down the hall and to their front door.

“Good bye Wonnie! Good bye Daerim-ah! See you soon,” he called out with a tinge of sadness as he slipped on his shoes.

“Good bye baby, we’ll see you when you get back!” said Siwon leaning his head on the door frame.

When he heard the door lock finally click, he turned back into their bedroom and walked over to the bed.

He crawled on top of the sheets and lay beside Daerim, gently her tummy.

“Hi aegi-yah, it’s just you and me now,” he said gently. “Are you still feeling warm?”

He leaned over her, putting his lips to her forehead. Although her body was still very warm, Siwon could see her slightly shivering. He glanced at the fan that was blowing on her. Earlier, when they had called the doctor she had recommended giving her a cool bath, using cool compresses, and using a fan to help bring her fever down. Having already given her a bath and used compresses, they had resulted to the fan.

Daerim began whining. Ever since she had her photo taken a couple days ago, she had been really temperamental. Last night she had begun to show signs of getting a fever and this morning her skin had been very warm to the touch.

But as he watched her now, squirming and whining in just a t-shirt and her diaper, he felt incredibly sympathetic.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said sadly as he the top of her head. “But I don’t know how else to make you feel better.”

Daerim looked up at him as she kicked her legs out and started on her fingers. Her little body seemed to be shivering even more as Siwon moved closer to her.

He sighed, looking at the fan, knowing he shouldn’t turn it off, but hating to see Daerim suffer like this. So against his better judgment he reached over and switched it off.

“Come on, aegi-yah, how about we just try to take a nap? When you wake up, you’ll feel nice and cool, okay?” suggested Siwon as he lay next to her on his side.

He tried to soothe Daerim’s whining by giving her gentle touches and singing softly to her, but before he knew it, Siwon was the one who had fallen asleep.

                                                ~~~

Siwon’s eyes slowly blinked open after feeling his chin being hit several times.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep or when it had actually happened, but what he did know was that something was wrong.

Reaching his hand up to his face, he felt Daerim’s hand there.

He smiled as he now opened his eyes more clearly.

“Appa’s sorry he fell asleep Daerim-ah, but you didn’t have to punch me,” he said leaning up on his elbow.

It was now that he realized the difference in Daerim.

Her limbs were jerking, every few moments, as if she had no control over it. Every time a spasm seemed to hit her, she would whimper and whine. Her face was flushed a deep pink as she seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable.

“Daerim-ah! Oh my G-d, Daerim!” he said sitting up quickly.

Feeling utterly shocked and confused, Siwon had no idea what to do. Daerim had never done anything like this before and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight.

Grabbing hold of her tiny arm, he felt the tremor against his palm. It scared him to now feel her body moving so violently, so he jumped up from the bed, running his hands through his hair as his heart began racing.

Daerim began whining even more, clearly scared herself as the spasms continued on. Hearing her distress, Siwon picked her up, holding her close to him, trying to suppress the jerks as he contemplated what to do.

“Dear G-d, please what do I do?!” he pleaded as he looked around, praying the answer would pop out of thin air.

Realizing time was of the essence, he tried his hardest to quickly find a solution. “Uh—uh—uh—hospital! Now! We have to go, now!”

Grabbing his phone and her baby bag at the foot of their bed, Siwon moved as quickly as he possibly could, leaving the apartment and heading towards the elevators.

Rushing through the parking lot, Siwon silently cursed himself as he remembered how far away their car was parked. After almost jogging past the blur of black and white vehicles, he finally came to his.

The adrenaline never seemed to stop pumping, making Siwon’s hands shake as he tried to fasten Daerim into her car seat.  Sensing his nervousness, Daerim began to whimper more as he tried for the third time to secure her straps.

“Aish!”

Fed up with the car seat, Siwon took a breath and closed his eyes.

“Calm down, calm down, calm down,” he said putting his hands to his head as he took a step back.

He breathed deep trying to settle his nerves before looking back at Daerim.

“Aegi-yah, everything is gonna be okay, don’t worry. Appa’s going to figure out what this is and make it stop. I promise you,” said Siwon trying to speak in a calm voice to her as he finally was able to secure her into the seat.

Once it clicked, he gently closed the car door and then got into the driver’s seat.

One hour later…

“That was great Kyu-ah, but how about we go through it just one more time?” suggested the technician.

“Okay, but can we take a short break first? I just want to call and check on my daughter,” said Kyuhyun pulling out his phone.

“Sure, no problem.”

Kyuhyun nodded and then walked out of the sound booth and through the door that connected to the studio out into the hallway.

Although he knew everything was probably okay, he decided just to check in with his two loves, as he was anxious to hear their voices again.

As the phone steadily rang Kyuhyun waited and waited. Normally, Siwon never took this long to answer his phone, but Kyuhyun brushed it off. There could be a number of reasons why Siwon wasn’t answering right away.

Deciding to make the most of his break, he slowly paced the hallway while scrolling through the photos on his phone. He smiled as he looked at photos of Daerim’s face, watching her age backwards as he flipped through the most recent all the way to when she was just born.

He was almost ready to turn back towards the studio, his mood a little bit lighter from seeing his daughter’s happy face, when his phone began to vibrate in his hand.

Checking the ID, he smiled when Siwon’s name popped up.

“Wonnie, I’m glad you called back, I was just about to head back into the studio from my break. How is everything? Is Daerim-ah feeling any better? Gosh, I miss you all so much, I can’t wait to come home. I think maybe I’ll just be another hour and then I’ll call it a night. Should I pick something up for dinner or do you want to cook something together? I was thinking—

“Kyu,” interjected Siwon solemnly.

Kyuhyun paused. Although Siwon only said his name, he could tell in his voice that something was wrong.

“Wonnie, you sound…off. What is it? Did something happen?” he asked with a frown.

“Yeah baby,” Siwon sighed sadly, “something happened.”

Kyuhyun felt his blood run cold as he imagined 1,000 different scenarios that could have taken place in his absence. With every second of Siwon’s silence, they became worse and worse.

But they were both soon brought out of their muteness by the sound of monitors beeping and nurses talking in the background.

“What’s going on? What’s all that noise behind you?” asked Kyuhyun weakly, although he already knew the answer.

“Baby, I don’t know how to explain this to you,” started Siwon as he put his free hand to his forehead, rubbing the skin there until it reddened with his frustration.

“Explain what? Did something happen to you or to Daerim-ah?” asked Kyuhyun starting to get anxious.

Siwon was silent again as guilt plagued him. Rethinking the past events that had unfolded in the hour made his heart heavy. He couldn’t focus on his conversation with Kyuhyun because his mind was preoccupied with blaming himself for the umpteenth time.

Finally feeling as though he might burst, he let out a sob, quickly covering his mouth in embarrassment.

“Wonnie?! What’s wrong?! You have to tell me what happened!” he said feeling himself getting emotional as well.

“I’m at the hospital baby,” said Siwon, trying his best to keep himself composed.

“Okay, why? Who’s hurt?” asked Kyuhyun almost unable to get the words out.

“…I didn’t know…I’m so sorry. I just…she was cold. Her little body wouldn’t stop shivering so I just…I thought if I turned it off for just a moment, she’d be fine. But…I fell asleep,” said Siwon now rubbing his eyes.

They were pink and glassy as he rubbed them, making tears run down his cheeks as he sniffled.

“Wonnie, listen to me…you have to tell me what happened!” begged Kyuhyun as he slid down the wall in the hallway.

“I don’t know what happened! She just started shaking so I brought her here,” said Siwon now breaking down.

“Okay, okay, Wonnie, please just try to stay calm,” said Kyuhyun putting his hand to his head as he pulled at his hair, realizing he was going to have to the be the rational one. “Where is Daerim right now? Is she safe?”

“She’s okay now,” Siwon said finally as he rubbed at his red eyes again.

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and gave a sigh of relief.

“Where are you, I’m coming right now,” said Kyuhyun as he tried to stand on wobbly legs.

“St. Mary’s,” mumbled Siwon as leaned over, hugging his waist.

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay? Just stay by the phone, can you promise me you will?” said Kyuhyun firmly.

“I promise,” Siwon sighed.

“Okay, I love you Wonnie, just hold on until I get there.”

When the phone call ended, Siwon sighed as he rubbed his eyes, still really upset with himself as he came to terms with the fact that he was sitting in the E.R. waiting room as his 3 month old daughter was tended to by a team of nurses and doctors.