Jiyong sat in the living room writing in his journal. Seungri once again was not there for him to talk to so he had to vent to his journal. The recent altercation with Seunghyun made him feel ashamed. He had never stopped to think about anyone else’s feelings beside his own and now that he dwelling on the hurt that he caused Seunghyun he didn’t know if he could keep going on the way that he used to. He was reading his journal from the day he got it to present time. It held everything he had ever done Seunghyun and his deepest feelings about him.

Jiyong wondered if it could have ever been possible to be with him. he knew that it was too late now and that Seunghyun probably wouldn’t even think of him as a friend let alone anything more than that. The time that he was spending alone made him realize that he only had two options. He could continue to be a worthless bully or try to make amends. It was all too clear what the right choice was.

He was going to start being a good person; someone people could look up to. He wanted to be what he used to be; someone who set a great example for everyone.

He finished with his journal and put it away. At that moment Seungri walked in the house and headed straight to his room. Jiyong looked at his retreating figure in interest. He had been coming and going a lot and it wasn’t like him. He remembered when Seungri would drag him around everywhere he went.   

Jiyong knocked on Seungri’s door.

Seungri opened it quickly with look of disinterest on his face, “Yes?”

“You’ve been going out a lot. Where do you go all the time?”

“Out.” He tried to close the door but Jiyong stopped it from shutting.

“What do you mean out?”

Seungri sighed and decided to make something up, “I’ve just been taking walks around the neighborhood. You know, to think.”

Jiyong raised an eyebrow, “To think about what?”

“Not everyone wants to share their feelings twenty four seven. It’s just something I like to do alone.”

Seungri closed his door and went back to doing whatever he was doing. Jiyong stared at the closed door for a while before going to his own room. He didn’t understand what was up with Seungri and he felt a bit upset about it. He needed someone to confide in and at this point he felt that he had no one. He closed his eyes and hugged his covers, this what Seunghyun probably felt like, except a thousand times worst. Jiyong was already getting upset from the cold shoulder Seungri gave him; he wondered how much it damaged Seunghyun to get the cold shoulder from everyone. It seemed like Jiyong was losing his purpose while Seunghyun was gaining one. Jiyong was losing everything he had worked in himself especially since he realized that what he had worked for was nothing that he wanted or anyone else would want.

It was his turn to feel what Seunghyun had felt for years and his loneliness was coming at him slow and painfully.

Seungri had only decided to come back to find the number that Taehyun had given him for security purposes because he was going to pay Daesung a visit. He wanted to get there quick before Daesung decided to slip out of the house again. He had been keeping tabs on the guy and Daesung had been out every day with Seunghyun. This time he was finally going to get him alone to start his plan.

He poked his head out of his room to make sure that Jiyong wasn’t anywhere in sight. He stepped and headed out the door. Everything was going to work out as planned and he was going to make sure of it.

Daesung opened the door and was surprised to see Seungri standing in front of him. He wondered what in the world Seungri could possibly want with him. Was it something with Jiyong or did he just have the wrong house?

“What brings you here?” Daesung was genuinely curious as to what Seungri wanted.

“Can I come in I have something important to talk to you about.”

“You have something important to tell me?” he motioned for Seungri to come in.

It was quite perplexing to see Seungri here in his place. All he knew about Seungri was that he was the guy that hung around Jiyong. What could he want to speak to him about? If it didn’t have anything to do with Jiyong then he didn’t know at all.

Daesung pulled out a seat for Seungri to sit in, “So what is it that you want to talk about?”

“Seunghyun.”

“I’m sorry what? I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Daesung cocked his head to make sure he was hearing Seungri correctly.

“I said I want to talk to you about Seunghyun. You see I’m going to need you to stop seeing him.”

If Daesung was drinking something he would have spit it in Seungri’s face. “Is this because of Jiyong did he tell you to do this?”

A quiet laugh escaped Seungri’s lips, “Trust me, this has nothing to do with Jiyong; frankly it’s all business.”

“Well frankly I don’t think I can comply with your ‘business’. No one can keep me apart from Seunghyun.”

“I thought you would say that.” Seungri leaned forward, “You don’t want to see him hurt do you? If you do everything I tell you he won’t get hurt.”

Daesung couldn’t believe his ears, what did Seungri think he could do to Seunghyun that everyone hasn’t done already. “I think you’re bluffing, you can’t hurt him especially not by yourself.”

“Who said I was by myself? Listen to me Daesung, I have some friends in some very high places that can put Seunghyun in a coma if I wanted to, but I won’t do that if you just agree to what I tell you.” Seungri figured he would have to call Taehyun to get Daesung to believe him.

“I don’t believe you, you’re lying and this is just some sick joke you’re playing. What makes you think that I would just up and leave Seunghyun because you say so?”

“I was afraid this would be harder than I wanted it to be.” He pulled the piece of paper with Taehyun’s number on it out along with his phone and dialed the number, “I’m sure you’ll recognize this voice.”

Seungri talked on the phone with whoever he was speaking to for a bit then handed the phone over to Daesung.

Daesung reluctantly took it and pressed it up against his ear, “Hello?”

“Why, hello Daesung. Long time no see.”

That voice, it couldn’t be. Daesung’s hand trembled as he listened to a voice he hadn’t heard in years; a voice that had given him nightmares for the longest time. He looked at Seungri with his mouth hanging open. This could not be happening.

“This can’t be who I think this is.” he was about to break down from the shock he was feeling.

“I’m so glad you remember my voice, it would have been awkward if you didn’t. Listen Daesung I’m going to need you to do everything Seungri tells you to do or the one you care about is going to end up in a very bad place. Do you hear me?”

Daesung was still in undeniable shock, but he heard Taehyun loud and clear, “Yes I understand.”

“Good, because if you don’t I might just do to him what I did to you.”

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Daesung clutched his chest; he was going into full panic mode.

“Then do what you’re told and Seunghyun won’t get a scratch on his head. Okay?”

“Yes, okay.” Then line went dead and Daesung stared at the phone with a look of scorn. He handed it back to Seungri and stared at his shaking hands. “Why are you doing this? What did I ever do to you?”

“I told, it’s only business. I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a long time and now that’s it’s here nothing will stand in my way to get it.”

Daesung didn’t quite understand what Seungri was talking about, but it didn’t matter anyways. All he knew was that he needed to do whatever Seungri told him. he didn’t want to see Seunghyun hurt anymore, but it seemed that he was going to have to hurt him to keep him out of harm’s way.

“What is it that you want me to do?” Daesung was trying to keep it together but he was already shaking before Seungri could even start speaking.

“I’m going to need you to say and do exactly what I tell you.”

“Okay I get.”

“You can’t tell anyone about this. People need to know that you made this decision yourself without any outside influence.”

Daesung nodded his head, “Okay.”

“Good, now let’s get started…

When their conversation was over Seungri got open and headed out, “Remember, I was never hear and it was all your plan.” He shut the door and left Daesung alone.

Daesung took that opportunity to start shedding his tear. He broke down and held his knees. What he was about to was excruciating and painful to his heart. He had never cried harder than he was for Seunghyun and he was about to put him through to keep him from anything worse. He tried wiping his tears and composing himself but the heart wrenching sobs wouldn’t stop coming.

Daesung wondered why he couldn’t be happy without someone taking it away. He didn’t want to experience this heartbreak but he supposed he had to for Seunghyun. He’d do anything for him.

He shakily grabbed his cell phone and dialed Youngbae’s number.

“Hello?”

“Taeyang, can you put Seunghyun on the phone.” His voice was quiet and weak.

Youngbae could hear the sadness in Daesung’s voice, “Is there something wrong?”

“Please, just put him on the phone.”

Youngbae called Seunghyun to the living room and handed the phone over to him, “Daesung wants to talk to you.”

Seunghyun took it eagerly, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Can you meet me somewhere?”

“Yes of course. Where to?”

It didn’t take long for Daesung to think of a place, “The place where we go to get ice cream.”

Seunghyun thought that was weird, “That place is closed by now.”

“I know, all I want to do is talk.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you when I get there.” He hung up the phone and looked at Youngbae. “He says he wants to talk to me.”

Youngbae shrugged, “About what?”

Seunghyun gave him his phone, “I don’t know.” He hoped it wasn’t anything bad, “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

Seunghyun walked out the door and hoped that everything was ok with Daesung. He knew that if Daesung wanted him there then he must have something extremely important to say.

Daesung saw Seunghyun walking up with a hoodie on. The site of seeing him almost brought Daesung back to tears, but he knew that he had to be strong and do what he had to do.

Seunghyun walked up to the table Daesung was sitting at and sat, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Daesung couldn’t look Seunghyun in the face.

“So, you wanted to see me?” Seunghyun tried to reach for his hand, but Daesung pulled it away. He tried to conceal the look of hurt that came on his face.

“I have something I need to tell you and I’m going to need you to listen.”

“Okay what is it?” Seunghyun was getting a little worried with the tone of voice Daesung was using. It sounded like the voice he used the first time they had met.

“Seunghyun, I’m just going to say this without beating around the bush. This between us is going to have to stop.” He tried to stay stern in his voice.

“Wha-what?” Seunghyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I’m sorry for stringing you along the way I have but now I think it needs to stop. I don’t want to be with you in any way, shape, or form. You and I were never real; at least not to me.” Daesung could feel his heart breaking at each word he said.

“You can’t be serious Daesung. You’re joking right?” he stood up from where he was sitting, “You can’t tell me that we have isn’t real. You can’t.”

Daesung mimicked his actions, still trying to keep his cool, “I can, and I just did.” He gave him a very stern look, “Don’t contact me anymore, act like we’ve never met, and forget about any feelings you have for me.”

“You can’t ask me to forget how I feel about you, there to strong. Daesung, I love you. Don’t do this to me, please.” Seunghyun was trying to grasp why this was happening. He had tears streaming down his face because he knew this was real. Daesung was leaving him and he meant it, he really meant it. “Please Daesung don’t leave me. I love you, I love you. You can’t leave me.”

Daesung took in a few shaky breaths. Seunghyun was pouring his heart out to him and he couldn’t do anything about, he couldn’t say that he loved him back or do anything to comfort him. What he had to do was keep telling himself that this was for the best and that Seunghyun would be safe. If it meant that he had to give Seunghyun heartbreak to keep him that way, then he would.

“Don’t say you love me, because I don’t love you.”

Daesung couldn’t stay to see Seunghyun’s reaction or even his own to the words he said. When he got far enough away he let everything. He felt empty and horrible and wanted nothing more than to crawl back to Seunghyun for forgiveness. He now had a whole in his heart and he didn’t think it would ever be filled or that he would ever stop shedding tears for his Seunghyun.

The words I love you echoed around Daesung’s head. In any other circumstance he would have loved to hear those words come out of Seunghyun’s mouth, but now it just hurt him even more. Seunghyun loved him and he rejected him despite what he felt. He wished that he could say it back, but with the impending threats hanging over Seunghyun’s head, he wouldn’t dare do so.

Seunghyun dropped to his knees unable to hold his body weight. He rested his hands on the ground and let out gut wrenching sobs that would bring tears to the most heartless of men. He clutched his chest in a failed attempt to ease his pain. It felt as if he was having a heart attack from the amount of pain and shallow breaths that were coming from him.

All that he could think about was one word; why? He couldn’t understand any of it. He just wanted to know why. He clenched his jaw to keep his cries at bay. There was nothing he could do; Daesung had made himself clear that he didn’t want him. He had made it clear that he was nothing to him at all. Daesung had ripped his heart out and stopped on it from the ruthless and selfish words he said. Seunghyun couldn’t stand the pain that was coursing through his veins. It made him immobile and his legs felt like two ton bricks.

He had said that he loved Daesung and the words didn’t seem to affect him anyone. The whole time Daesung was talking he couldn’t read the expression on his face. It was just a blank mask as he let his words spill from his mouth. Words that were deadly and hurtful beyond belief.

Seunghyun struggled to his feet and hugged himself. He knew he couldn’t stay in this spot for too much longer and so he slowly moved back to Youngbae’s; one step at a time.

Youngbae heard the front door open and walked out of his room to see a slumped over Seunghyun taking heavy breaths from under his hood.

“Seunghyun what happened?” Seunghyun lifted his head up from staring at the ground. Youngbae saw how red they were and the pain that he held within them.

“He said he didn’t want me, and that he doesn’t love me.” The shakes were slowly coming back.

“What? How could that be, he looked happy, you looked happy.”

“He said that nothing between us was real.” Seunghyun sat on the couch too tired to stand.

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know!” Seunghyun buried his face in his hands and started to cry again, “I don’t know.”

Youngbae sat next to him and rubbed his back. He didn’t know how to comfort a boy with a broken heart; all he could do was sit there for moral support.