“Why? Why not me?”

“I don't know.” Seungri was listening to Jiyong's problems for the last few hours. Jiyong had found him after school and started venting immediately.

“I'm G Dragon, everybody wants me!”

“Apparently.”

Jiyong didn't notice the sarcasm that Seungri was spouting.

“What does Daesung have that I don't have?”

“Don't you think you would be able to answer that question?”

“Huh?” Jiyong looked up from his hands.

“I mean you did sleep with him right? So wouldn't you be able to answer that question?”

“Shut up.” Jiyong got up and started pacing around the room, “As long as I'm living they can't be together.”

“Because you're jealous.”

Jiyong stopped in his tracks, “G Dragon is never jealous.”

Seungri waited for Jiyong to turn around before he rolled his eyes. “So now we're talking about ourselves in the third person? Well Seungri says that you should forget about whatever you're thinking and just find somebody knew.”

“And why should I do that?”

“You just said that everyone wants you, so why don't you just pick up someone from the long line of waiting people?”

“What if I don't want them?”

“Why are you being so picky?” Seungri was getting tired of this conversation.

“I'm not picky I just think that I should at least have a chance at what I want.”

“And if that's out of the question?”

“Then it will be out of the question for everyone.”

Seungri was about ready to scream in his pillow, “You know if you were nicer to Seunghyun in the first place, you wouldn't have this problem. I bet you you'd be feeding him grapes during a sunset or something.”

Jiyong stopped in his tracks once again, “Have you read my journal?”

Seungri sat up and stared at him for a long time, “What...journal?”

“Never mind I never said anything.” he went back to pacing.

Seungri shook his head, “Yeah, I bet you didn't.” Seungri was so going to read his journal later.

“Seungri I'm going to need your help if I want to keep them apart.”

“It sounds like you're trying to plot a cheesy plan. I don't know if I want to be apart of something like that.” Seungri didn't want to be apart of anything that would compromise what he had in mind himself.

“I thought you would want to help me?” Jiyong looked over his shoulder with a frown on his face.

“I do, but it's just I don't think some sort of plan is going to make you happier. If you hurt Seunghyun you'll only be hurting yourself.”

Jiyong was to stubborn to listen to reason, “You're wrong, I know what I want and I want to do this and if you don't want to help me then fine. I can do it by myself.”

Seungri knew that common sense wasn't going to be able to penetrate his thick skull. He had tried to give him words of wisdom but as always it fell on death ears. Like the other times that he had tried to steer Jiyong into the right direction Jiyong would only learn from experience.

There was a time when it was the other way around and Seungri would be the one who wouldn't listen to Jiyong's good advice until that had backfired on him multiple times. From his own experience he knew that Jiyong wasn't going to learn a lesson until whatever plan he was trying to form didn't work in the way in the way he wanted. Seungri had learned the hard way that a plan had to be well thought out in a clear concise mind. Jiyong wasn't thinking straight and it would only cause him pain in the end.

Jiyong tried to warn Jiyong one last time, “Think about it. What do you think Taeyang will say if he knew you were up to something.”

“Taeyang won't find out if everything is kept a secret.”

Jiyong sat down at a desk by the bedroom door and started writing. Seungri knew that that was the end of the conversation and nothing else would be discussed.

“Fine, do what you want, but I won't be apart of it.”

Jiyong shrugged, “Goes to show what loyalty really is.”

Seungri pursed his lips and went back to laying down. He had tried being loyal and it didn't work. Now he was trying to take matters into his own hands.

“I'm going out.” Seungri got up and headed out the bedroom door, he paused for a response from Jiyong but got none.

Jiyong didn't notice Seungri had left till he heard the front door slam shut. He tried to get back to writing but something was bugging him. He thought about it for a while then the answer came to him. It was that Seungri had left in the first place. He wasn't used to him going anywhere unless he was with him. Jiyong didn't let it sit in his mind for to long dismissing it as Seungri just heading to the store. Seungri wouldn't go anywhere important without him, would he?

Daesung silently watched Seunghyun from the floor. Seunghyun had made himself on his bed and told him he would be resting for only a little while. For some reason Daesung had been watching him for as long as he was asleep. He felt like he was some sort of creeper but he couldn't keep his eyes away from Seunghyun's body. Seunghyun had his hands behind his head and he was laying with his ankles crossed. Daesung had peeked at the line of skin that was showing by the waste band of Seunghyun's pants multiple times.

He almost wished Seunghyun would lower his arms so his shirt cover up the little skin that was showing.

Seunghyun moved one of his hands and dropped it down to his stomach. The movement didn't help Daesung one bit because his shirt had scrunched up and now was showing his belly button. The urge to touch Seunghyun's skin was overwhelming. Seunghyun didn't know the effect he had on Daesung, even when sleeping he managed to grab all of his attention.

Daesung tried to play some phone games to distract him from Seunghyun's immense attractiveness, but all his attempts were futile. Daesung didn't think that he could only be friends with Seunghyun by the way he was reacting from a showing of his belly button and the slight movements Seunghyun made in his sleep. If Seunghyun ever wanted to pursue a relationship beyond friendship Daesung would be tempted to take the offer. Relationships weren't Daesung's strong point; not even if it was just a friendship; but he thought that if it was with Seunghyun it would be different.

Nothing had ever worked out for Daesung before he had met Seunghyun, that fact that Seunghyun kept coming back to him meant that he was different from the others. Under normal circumstances people would have up and left Daesung from the beginning. Once they understood how messed up Daesung was no one ever stayed long, at least not before using him in bed then leaving him cold. It amazed and frustrated Daesung that Seunghyun was still here. The only other person that ever stayed with Daesung was Youngbae, but he felt that that was by obligation.

Daesung glanced at Seunghyun's sleeping face, what if he did confide in Seunghyun and tell him everything? What if he decided to trust in him completely? Daesung hugged his knees, as much as he tried to hide it he was just a scared little boy. He did things that he claimed he liked and he acted like he was some type of badass when he knew deep down that he wasn't. It was hard for him to admit, even to himself, that he was still scared. He didn't like to be introduced to new things, horror movies were still scary for him, and most of all no matter how much he said the opposite, he hated being alone.

It was weird how when Seunghyun was sleeping his thoughts would go into a much deeper place. He wondered what it would be like if he opened up to Seunghyun. Would everything be okay like he desperately wanted it to? Or would nothing change like he thought it would? What he knew that he needed more than anything was courage, courage and strength would help him if he anted to make the right decisions in his life. He just hoped that nothing else would be thrown in his path before he made up his mind.

Daesung sad on his knees and contemplated on waking Seunghyun. Seunghyun looked so peaceful while he was sleeping that Daesung didn't know if he wanted to wake him up at that instant. He laid his hand on his cheek and his skin with the pad of his thumb. He anticipated for Seunghyun to wake up from the caress of Daesung's hand, but he didn't stir. Daesung intertwined his hand with the one resting on his stomach; there was still no response. Seunghyun was still sleeping soundly and he hadn't moved at all.

“If you only knew.” Daesung's words came out soft but full of emotion.

Seunghyun heard the words that Daesung spoke and wanted to open his eyes, he could Daesung's hand on his cheek and holding his own but he didn't let him know that he had awoken. He didn't know what to feel about the slow caress of is cheek or the hand that was being held. He didn't want to move because he feared that if he did then he would never get to see this side of Daesung again.

He kept his breathing steady as he heard Daesung speak in another hushed tone.

“Seunghyun. Should I tell you?” Daesung was unaware that Seunghyun was trying his hardest to feign sleep. “Would it help if I told you everything?”

Seunghyun wanted to nod his head yes but waited to see if Daesung would say anything more instead.

“Seunghyun, I'm scared.” Daesung removed his hands from Seunghyun and sat for a while before getting up and leaving the room. He almost wished he had gotten a response from him to make it easier, but he knew if he really wanted to tell him, he had to make the judgment himself.

Seunghyun sat up from the bed and suddenly he felt cold. He rested his hand on the cheek Daesung had touched and took in a deep breath. He swung his legs off the side of the bed, sleep had completely left his mind. He felt that he was finally getting closer to Daesung even if it was only in his sleep. He wondered what Daesung could be afraid of telling him. Could Daesung have done something he wasn't proud of and he didn't know how to tell him. Seunghyun wanted to know what had been vexing his friend his for years.

He got up from the bed and slowly pushed the door open. Daesung was sitting at a table with his head down. Seunghyun walked up and took a seat next to him. Daesung's response was slow as he lifted his head to meet Seunghyun's eyes.

“You're awake.”

Daesung didn't say anything else.

“Seems like. What you do while I was asleep?”

Daesung hesitated a little, “Nothing, I was just in here.”

Seunghyun nodded his head, “I hope you weren't too bored.”

“No, I wasn't bored at all. I had just been thinking.” Daesung ran a hand through his hair, “It seems like my moods have been going up and down lately.”

“Oh?” Seunghyun didn't want to say too much.

“While you were asleep I had been thinking about some things that I need to tell you, but I'm not sure if I want to tell you.”

Seunghyun grabbed his wrist, “You can tell me anything, you know that right?”

“No, only a part of me knows that, but the other part won't trust you. It feels like that part will never go away.”

Seunghyun took both of Daesung's hands into his. “That may be true, but once you start talking about whatever you want to tell me, then you won't be able to finish. I'm not trying to tell you this to scare you; I'm saying it so you know that all you need to do is start.”

“What if I can't?”

“There is no can't. There's a difference between something you physically can't do and something you won't do.” Seunghyun tried to look him in the eye, “Daesung is today going to be the day or not?”

“I said I would never be able to tell you or anyone. I don't know if I can go back on my word.” Daesung took back his hands and covered his face. “I'm so scared.”

“Of what?”

“What you'll think of me. I'm scared that your opinion will change of me and then you'll leave just like everybody else.”

Seunghyun tried to keep from gritting his teeth. “I already said that I wouldn't do that. I can't keep telling you how I'm not going leave because not like everyone else. You know this yourself Daesung, I'm not going anywhere.”

Daesung uncovered his face, “I know, but being scared is all I'm ever good at. I don't know how to let go.” Daesung intertwined his fingers with Seunghyun's once again. “Don't let go okay?”

“I won't.”

Daesung took his free hand and ran it through his hair one more time. “I don't know where to start.”

“Try from the beginning.”

“Okay, so it all started two years ago...