Can you remember those nights when darkness engulfs you whole and the only human feeling left was genuine sadness? Your heart squeezing in loneliness, and you blink rapidly, hoping the next thing you’d see when you open your eyes were bright colours accompanied by the people you ever loved. But you have a sad story. The only thing you can see is the same darkness of the night, that fades never. The little ray of hope you used to have was long gone and now a terrifying shadow looms where it used to be.

Little by little, it kills you until one night, your heart can take no more and it stops working with you. It stops working.

***

Haesoo jumped in shock. She looked around her, all the while still panting, trying to grasp the situation. What kind of dream was that? She didn’t have a clue and that was the most painful part. The image of her frail and aged grandmother getting hit by the ruthless, unstoppable speeding SUV made her stomach clench in fear.

It took a few seconds to realize that she was drenched in sweat and the sun was already up, meaning that she had slept through breakfast and all. It was another school day, yet another day without Yoongi. Her body felt heavy and the unsettling feeling she had since she last saw Yoongi’s back could now be felt at the tips of her fingers and toes. It was depression, no doubt. The emptiness never felt real until this morning.

Feeling too tense to breathe, Haesoo forced herself up anyway. Her eyes started to water once she opened the balcony’s double doors.

How she missed her mother, how she missed her grandmother. But, she mostly missed her old home. This had never even felt like one from the moment she set foot on the compound.

And now, when she found a little piece of hope, it had turned its back on her again. When was her retribution? When was it her turn to taste happiness? Nothing was going to feel infinite.

Books lie. People lie. Hopes will only remain hope. And fantasies, fantasies.

Haesoo was distraught.

All in the name of love. Yoongi was the worthless trash of society her mother always told her about but he seemed to also be the prince charming her grandma always said existed somewhere. That was what made everything complicated, because her love and her hate was one. It was painful to want him so bad yet detest him for all the bad he had caused her. But this was her life.

Things never went her way.

And so she arrived to school, the usual eyebags, messy hair and terrible posture she hadn’t realize had been forming for the time she was in this foreign place. It was a 4 hour drive from home. So why did home feel so out of reach?

Head down, she felt more vulnerable now that Yoongi was gone. Her protector wasn’t around again. She had been too reliant on him and she now suffered the consequences.

Seconds later, she felt a blow to her head and she fell against the lockers. Her head was pounding and she couldn’t tell her surroundings, but things were visible enough for her arm punched the person back. She grabbed the person’s collars, growling angrily at the heartless person and choking said person with her own collar. Die, die, DIE.

That was the only word on her mind.

Feelings of anger, frust