Author POV

School had started up again and the Infinite boys had not seen or heard from Kana since the day she woke up at the hospital. The boys were hanging out at a lunch table, joking and laughing as usual, but two members' laughs weren't as genuine as the others. Their smiles half-assed and almost forced, it was another day of feeling like a piece of crap. Ever since they heard Kana speak so furiously to them about how they pretty much abused her situation to benefit themselves, they couldn't help but feel like a couple of asses who seriously messed up. 

Kana, on the other hand, continued living her life as if nothing had happened. She went to class, did her work, and walked pass the Infinite group as if they didn't exist. She returned to her life as the invisible human, but in realtiy, she was hurting too. She was confused about how she was suppoed to feel after she saw the way Hoya and Sunggyu's faces looked as she walked by. Their faces held a mixture of guilt and sadness that she hated seeing. She had no idea she would have that kind of an effect on them that badly. 

Going to work at the music shop was her only escape. Sungjong still worked there but was kind enough not to mention anything about personal life stuff to her in case she felt uncomfortable. Since he was the closest person to her that wasn't actually one of her best friends, she deemed him okay enough to talk about how she felt about all the events when he asked one day.

"So how are you holding up, noona? I know you went through some things with the guys and I wanted to apologize to you about it on their behalf," Sungjong said.

Kana made a small smile, touched that their maknae was kind enough to apologize for them.

"I'm alright," she replied, "but I definitely could be better. You shouldn't have to apologize for them, you know. It was their mistakes that they conciously made, not yours."

"That's true, but they had their reasons," Sungjong shrugged.

"Reasons?" Kana scoffed, "Reasons to treat my like some prize toy instead of a human being?"

Sungjong's eyes widened a little as he was trying to take a few steps back. He had no intention of making her upset and really didn't want to cross any lines.

"Noona I'm sure it wasn't like that. They didn't mean to hurt you in any way, they just didn't know a better way to help or protect you. They just wanted to help you but they also happened to like you at the same time and it blinded them. And they were scared that if they told you the truth and you remembered everything you would go back to your usual self and well, you know, ice wall," Sungjong said trying to reason. 

Kana was starting to get extremely frustrated after hearing the "reasons" the two had. How could knowing all of that made her feel better?

"Look," she snapped, "I get I'm not the nicest human being in the world but seriously? I had amnesia and the first thing they do is fight over who I belong to instead of helping me find out who I am or helping me find people who know who I am. They didn't bother asking me to remember if I had any friends or even just going to find my family, which they couldn't have done anyway because they're all dead!"

Sungjong just stood in shock at hearing the news about Kana he'd never known before. He figured that maybe she never had a great relationship with her family since she barely talked about them, but of course had no idea of the truth. His shock turned into sadness when he realized his friends' mistakes were way beyond something they would even begin to understand. 

"Noona..." Sungjong started but was cut off by Kana saying, "No, don't. *sigh* I'm sorry for going off on you like that. I didn't mean to let my frustrations get the best of me and be forced on you. You didn't deserve that."

Sungjong replied with a weak "It's okay" before giving her a sad look and placing his hand on her shoulder, trying to give her some comfort.

Kana only sighed and said, "Look, if you want to tell Hoya-sshi and Sunggyu-sshi anyhing, tell them that what happened happened and it's best for them to just move on already. There's no reason to dwell on the past when it only holds you back from your future."

Knowing that she was contradicting her own philosophy by staying away from boys (from fear of getting hurt again), she just let it be so that they would be able to feel better and heal. No one deserved to stay in pain, but Kana believed she somehow deserved it and could take on the world's pain on her shoulders and be alright. No one really knew that she was the person who was hurting the most and just kept quiet about it all.

After their shift ended, Kana left and returned home. She layed on her bed and let out a huge breath of exhaustion. Her cat jumped onto her bed and made itself comfortable on her stomach, gently purring as Kana slowly scratched its head. She managed a small smile that could only come from the comfort of her beloved cat and closed her eyes. She started thinking about the past again as she slowly fell asleep and went into dreamland.

~ Kana's Dream ~

"Mama~ Mama where are you?" a little girl said. Her eyes were b with tears as she was by herself and didn't know what to do. Soon, a figure crouched down next to her and gave her a bright smile, saying "I'm here, Kana. What's wrong honey?"

The young Kana smiled back at her mother and hugged her, her eyes closing and smling in content. "It's nothing Mama, I was worried I lost you."

Kana's mother chuckled and said, "You could never lose me, honey, I'll always be right here with you." 

Soon after, a man and two boys, a little bit older than Kana, ran over to her and joined in the hug. 

"We'll always be with you," said the man, who smiled lovingly at Kana and her mother. 

"Okay, Papa, I believe you," said the young Kana. 

As soon as she said that, they suddenly disappeared and the young Kana was left in black darkness.

Scared once again, she yelled into the darkness, "Hello? Mama? Papa? Kenji? Kyungjoon?"

She turned around and was met with a horrifying scene, a car flipped over and blood seeping out of the car. Kana was sobbing as she suddenly had felt a fever come on and started coughing.

The dream shifted so that she was in bed resting while the rest of her family was at her brothers' baseball game. Her brothers were coming home with a big trophy to show off to their younger sister to try and cheer her up to make her feel better. Her mother and father went to the game because they signed up as parent volunteers for snacks (and the Choi family never skimped when it came to team snacks). As they were coming home, a man was speeding and ran a red light while turning and then crashed into their car, which smashed into the car next to them. Their car flipped over and landed upside down with the four Chois dead at the scene. The youngest was sick at home sleeping restlessly, not knowing how lucky she was to not have been in that car, but also feeling horrible that she was the only one left behind. 

The faces of her dead family repeated itself over and over again until Kana woke up in a sweat and was breathing heavily. She wiped her face that was stained with tears and her runny nose. It had been a while since she had that dream, and it made sense why it would again reappear. She hated talking about her family only because she knew this dream would come back whenever she did. She looked at the calendar and realized today also happened to be the anniversary of their deaths. *No wonder* she thought to herself.

She looked at the clock that read 7:30AM and just sighed, getting ready for her day. She got up and took a cold shower, not minding the cold since she was so sweaty. 

Today she would isolate herself like her family isolated her and just be alone. She wouldn't talk to anyone (unless absolutely necessary, like at the flower shop) and just spend time reflecting. At least, that's what she hoped to do.

She changed into a simple, all-black ensemble and went to the flower shop. She bought a specialty designed bouquet made of white roses, a blue carnation, a bright yellow daffodil and forget-me-nots. Each flower represented a family member by their favorite flowers or by a shared memory. She then bought a single purple peony for the man who killed her family, as he also lost his life during that time. 

Before heading to the cemetary, she headed to school to inform her teachers that she would be absent from class. She hated writing emails about these kinds of things and preferred to let them know in person so they would be more understanding that she isn't missing school for selfish purposes. 

After she finished letting her professors know, she walked out of the faculty office and bumped into a person she really didn't want to see today.

"Kana-sshi..." he said.

Kana only made a face and tried to walk away but the person quickly grabbed her wrist and stopped her from walking. 

"Wait, please. I have something to say to you," he said.

Kana took her arm back and coldly said, "Not today. Please leave me be."

The person only frowned and begged, "Please, I really think we should talk. I wanted to say I'm so--"

"WHAT PART OF LEAVE ME BE DO YOU NOT GET?" Kana shouted. She was furious. Any other day, fine, but today of all days she didn't want to deal with this.

The person saw her anger and knew he messed up. But if now was not a good time, then when would it be? Every other chance never seemed as prime of an opportunity as bumping into her. It had to be now, even though she really didn't want it to be.

People heard her yelling and poked their heads out of the rooms. Kana looked around and felt ashamed for raising her voice. She bowed profusely and ended up dragging the person along to leave the scene. She checked her watch and saw she needed to leave now in order to get to the cemetary and do everything else she had planned for today, but seeing as a certain someone was tagging along, she wasn't sure how to feel.

She decided to let it happen and ended up bringing him along with her, making sure he had no other classes. Seeing as he only had one (and said he'd email the teacher he was sick or something), he went along with Kana, unsure of what was happening. 

The two headed toward the cemetery together while expecting different things to occur that day. What really happened was so much more. 

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HELLO EVERYONE! Here is a chapter I am uploading after a very long time. I know I made promises of updating faster, but in reality, this story is just a hobby to write and while I know everyone is just *dying* to read my story (sarcasm because lol) I honestly won't update it very quickly unless I can/feel like it. Hopefully, I will be able to end this story soon to put everyone out of their misery, but before then, Who is the person Kana doesn't want to see? (I'll make a poll and see what happens lol). 

Thank you to all who are still subscribed to this story and to anyone who just found this story, thank you for reading it and I hope you're enjoying it!