Kana POV

Once I left, I looked up at the sky to see gray rain clouds rolling in. I walked home as small beads of rain started falling. How ironic, I thought, the tears of all those I've hurt and mine mixed together. I kept walking, letting my "tears" soak me. This is okay because I'm letting it be. Everything's my fault, so this is my suffering. 

My heart was hurting, no, it has been hurting. This is my suffering. I have to go through this pain to be happy. But maybe my thought of happiness is a little bit twisted. I'm not even sure anymore. As I kept walking, I reached a street light. There were no cars anywhere so I decided to just cross the street.

Then came the honking. I turned and saw a car swaying toward me with laughter coming out from the opened windows. I opened my eyes in peril but stood there, waiting to get hit. I heard a crash somewhere and I was lying on the ground, rain splashing down on me as I closed my eyes. 

Author POV

Sunggyu woke up in a hospital bed with his body hurting all over. What happened? Why was he here? The memory of being in the car, the smell of alcohol everywhere, with people he had no idea who they were, filled his head. What did he do? He struggled to get into a sitting up position so he could look around.

He saw two people opposite him in beds still sleeping. One had a bandage wrapped around his head and chest, the other had his entire right leg wrapped and hanging from a hammock-like contraption holding it up. Sunggyu groaned when he put pressure on his right arm, as he saw it was wrapped up. 

He turned to look on his left side and saw Kana sleeping in her own bed. His eyes widened in fear. Why was she here? Could she have been hit? The fear of her being hurt at all made him panick. The heart monitor on his side started beeping rapidly and a nurse came rushing in. In a few seconds, Sunggyu's eyes started drooping and he was out to sleep. 

The next day, Sunggyu woke up once more and looked to his left. However, he was shocked to see Kana looking back at him. She had curiosity written all over her face while she just stared. Why was she here? Who are these people? What is she doing? Sunggyu was growing squeamish under her unrelenting gaze. 

He cleared his throat, but she never looked away. "U-Um...can you...stop...staring?" She didn't answer for a while until,"Who are you?" He grew shocked. She doesn't recognize him? Did his face change or something? He looked around for a mirror and found a hand mirror. However, when he looked in it, he only saw his face. Nothing different.

He grew concerned. "U-Um, it's me, Sunggyu. Kim Sunggyu. Remember? We have a class at Woolim University together?" She only stared. "Kim...Sunggyu...sshi?" He smiled. "Yes. It's me." "Do you know me? Are we friends?" His smile faltered. She doesn't know him then. So then what should he say?

Were they friends? Their relationship was complicated. They weren't quite friends, but every time they encountered each other, they were kind of like friends? How would he explain? How could he explain the way his heart felt when he looked at her? He couldn't. He never answered her question and just looked away. 

Later that day, he called Hoya. "Hey...Hoya..." Hyung! Are you feeling alright? What the heck happened?! "I was drunk and in someone's car and they were drunk too." They? "Yea, it was two guys. I don't even know who they are. Anyway, I think we hit someone and then we crashed into a pole." Are you okay? Who did you hit?

​Sunggyu contemplated whether he should tell Hoya he hit Kana. She doesn't remember who he is, so why would she remember who Hoya is? Of course he wanted to tell Hoya, but something was holding him back. Why couldn't he just say it? Was this selfishness? In the back of his mind, all he wanted was to be the person to comfort Kana, not Hoya. He wanted to see him and Kana, not Hoya and Kana. 

"I only hurt my right arm. Nothing big. But I don't know who it was I hit. I wasn't the driver. I was only in the back seat and they aren't in the same room as we are so I don't know." Oh alright. Well get better hyung, okay? Woohyun has been worried sick. I think you should give him a call. "I will. See you." Bye.

Sunggyu felt weird lying to Hoya, but his heart was telling him he did the right thing. Meanwhile, Kana had been listening in on the conversation he had. Who was this "Hoya" person? Why does the name sound familiar? Even this Kim Sunggyu seemed familiar, but she had no idea who they were.

He said she went to Woolim University? And they have a class together? Exactly how old is she? When was she born? She could only remember her name. Choi Kana. Was her name significant or something? Why only her name? She was frustrated. Why couldn't she remember anything? She didn't even know why she was here. 

She took a glance at Sunggyu and made a mental note at how handsome he was. His eyes were small and reminded her a lot of a hamster. When she was about to smile to herself, she noticed how difficult it seemed. Wait, why would it be difficult to smile? Had she not smiled a lot before? 

Thinking about her situation, she tried to figure out what she did know. Her name is Choi Kana, she apparently attends Woolim university and shares a class with Sunggyu, she knows how to speak in Korean. Kana tried thinking of other languages she could speak and realized she was fluent in Japanese and English. 

"Konnichiwa Kim Sunggyu-san. Nihongo wo shirimasuka? Hello Kim Sunggyu. Do you know English?" she asked with glee. Sunggyu was confused, of course, and had no idea what she was saying. "Umm...Kana-sshi...what are you saying?" She silently giggled in her mind, as if it were normal, and told him what she had figured out in the past few minutes. 

"So...you don't remember anything else?" asked Sunggyu. Kana made a small scowl and said,"No...I don't even know how old I am...I don't even know my own birthday!" She made a bitter smile and laugh which made Sunggyu feel bad for her. This was, in fact, his fault. 

"Hey, Sunggyu-sshi...do...do you know why I'm here?" Kana asked. Sunggyu could feel his heart race. He didn't want to tell her he and the two strangers opposite him hit her with their car causing her memory loss. No, he couldn't. Not when he finally has a chance. So he lied.

"Well, you and I were in the back seat with the two people in front of us and we were all drunk. We had just left a party and were really intoxicated. However, somewhere along the way, the driver guy saw a raccoon in the road and didn't want to hit it, so we swerved out of control. Then we hit a nearby street lamp and you hit your head against the window...causing your memory loss." 

Tears started b in her eyes. She was ashamed and mostly afraid. "Sunggyu-sshi...what if I don't get my memory back?" she asked, worry tracing every word. "It's okay. I'll be here to help you every step of the way. I'll always protect you, just like I promised." he replied. 

She slightly smiled, but was still worried. Who wouldn't be? However, knowing that Sunggyu would be there to help her made her feel a little but comforted. "Thank you, Sunggyu-sshi...umm...you said 'just like I promised?'" she said. Sunggyu nodded. Kana became shy with small butterflies in her stomach.

"Were we...umm...before my memory loss...were we...together? As in...dating?" she shyly asked, her face becoming kind of red. Sunggyu felt his own face become hot and his heart beat faster. What should he say? Should he just lie again? Then he could have everything he had secretly wanted.

And so he nodded his head and said,"Yes. We were." She blushed more and a small smile graced her face. "Th-Then...should I be calling you...oppa?" she asked. Sunggyu's heart felt like he was having a heart attack and his stomach was filled with butterflies. "Then...Sunggyu...oppa...thank you for wanting to help me," she said. 

Let's just say, even though something in the back of Sunggyu's mind was telling him he wasn't doing the right thing and this wasn't the way to do things, he was on cloud nine. The girl he had only admitted he liked after a long time, was finally his. But was this really okay? For now, Sunggyu thought.

For the rest of the day, Kana and Sunggyu talked; as if they were normal friends, chatting after not seeing each other for a long time. But Kana never really fully smiled or laughed, because for some reason it felt weird. While they were talking, Sunggyu noticed how Kana wasn't wrapped up anywhere on her body. No bandages or scratches at all.

Then how come she can't remember anything? Did he actually hit Kana with the car he was in? What really happened? Kana had fallen asleep on her bed by this time, so Sunggyu took this chance to look over at the two guys across him. The guy with the wrapped head had apparently still not woken up, but the guy with his foot hanging was wide awake.

Sunggyu and the foot guy held eye contact for a while trying to recognize each other. However, they had no clue who each other were. "Umm...who are you?" Sunggyu finally asked. "My name is Jihoon. Jung Jihoon. And you?" the foot man replied. "Kim Sunggyu. We were in the same car and then we got into a car accident," Sunggyu said.

Jihoon laughed. "I don't even know you and you were in the same car as me? Gosh, what did I do that night?" Jihoon said.

"Do you know who that guy is?" Sunggyu said, signaling to the right side of Jihoon. Jihoon didn't look at the guy, but at his sheets. 

"That's my older brother Jinyoung. He was sitting in the passenger seat. I was driving...why were we all so drunk? I shouldn't have been so reckless. I've hurt all of us, and I don't even know you! I'm so sorry," he said. Sunggyu could only feel sorry for the guy. It's not like he would've known, being as drunk as they were. 

"I'm really curious as to who she is, though. I'm pretty sure she wasn't in the car, right?" said Jihoon. Sunggyu looked over at Kana and said,"She's the reason we got in the accident. I guess while you were driving, she appeared in the road and you hit her, then swerved into the street light."

At first Jihoon was afraid at what he had done, but then stopped and made a face. "Wait, if I hit her, wouldn't she be wrapped up in bandages?" Jihoon asked. Sunggyu only nodded. "Exactly," Sunggyu replied. 

"Then--" "I don't know. I really don't know. And she lost her memory, but she's physically perfect," Sunggyu said. "Could she be lying then?" Jihoon asked. Sunggyu shook his head. "She isn't. I can tell. Plus, she's not the type of person to tell lies for no reason..." Sunggyu trailed off thinking about what she had said about them being in a relationship. 

No, she wouldn't lie about something like that, especially if this is the Kana he knew. The two men stayed quiet for a while just thinking about why Kana was like this. The silence was broken by a hoarse voice saying,"Maybe she forcibly lost her memory." 

They both turned to see Jinyoung, finally awake and struggling to sit up slightly. "Hyung!" Jihoon said,"I'm so sorry I did this to you. I understand if you never want to see me again. I'll take all my stuff from the apartment and lea--" "Calm, Jihoon. It's okay. Really," he smiled,"We were all drunk and not knowing what we were doing. You don't have to leave."

Jihoon was crying in happiness while Jinyoung only smiled at him, unable to hug and soothe his brother. Sunggyu smiled at the scene that unfolded in front of him. But something was bothering him deeply. "Umm...hey there. Jihoon-sshi here told me your name is Jinyoung?" Sunggyu said. Jinyoung nodded.

"What did you mean by,'she forcibly lost her memory?'" Sunggyu asked. Jinyoung looked straight at him and said,"There was this girl I knew once. She was abused by her father everyday, but after she graduated, it was like it never happened. She didn't remember ever being touched by her father in a bad manner. She forced every bad thought out of her mind to be happy."

Sunggyu was stunned. How could that be? He had never even heard of something so absurd, but here is a prime example sleeping in a bed to his left. But what could she want to forget that was so bad? Especially since she forgot so much about her life? Was it really worth it? 

The bigger question was: would he help her to try and remember?

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Update!! Ugh, sorry I'm taking forever to update guys...it's just school and writer's block and...yea. I'm such a bad author *sobs* I'm really bad on keeping my word TT^TT but I'm trying!! And I will keep on updating when I can! Idrk when/how this story will end so.....please look forward to it! Thank you! COMMENT PLS. I like comments :)