He walks slowly towards the Ward O&G. His heart feels like it had been squeezed once he arrived at the bed in Ward B2. His eyes feel so heavy once he saw the pale face with eyes closed in front of him. He took a sit beside her and holds her right hand. Slowly, he bends down a kiss her forehead gently. Her eyes sooner open. His face comes into her sight.

    “I’m here.” Hyun Joong’s lips form a bitter smile. His saliva seems hard to be swallowing. It feels like sandy.

    Uee nods her head weakly.  There’s nothing to say right now. Tears already form in her eyes. She looks at him blankly.

    “You need to be strong, honey.” His voice was so slow almost in inaudible tone. He breathes in, trying to contain his sadness. He grabs her left hand and squeezes it gently.

   The tears are finally flowing out to the pillow. “I’m strong.” She smiled hardly. “But I’m sorry for you.” She said half whispered.

    He shook his head. “Don’t say like that. This is all provisions of destiny.” But tears already form in his eyes.

    “Our baby is gone, oppa.” She speaks sorrowfully.

    “Baby will wait for us in heaven.” Hyung Joong forced a smile even though it’s hard right now. He brings her hands closer to his mouth and kisses her fingers. “I’m here, darling.”

    She laughs vapidly. “I know. I can see you. It’s not like I’m dreaming right now.” she tries to make a joke. His tears flow out finally. She wipes it gently while forcing a line of smile. “Don’t cry. You look so ugly right now.”

    Hyun Joong laughs half-heartedly. He can’t even say anything right now. His tongue feels numb. He took a deep breathe, trying to gather all his spirit back. Her hands on the cheeks he holds gently. Their eyes meet. They converse without words. Say it best when you say nothing at all.

*

    Hyun Joong cups his face while taking a deep breathes. He stared at Jae Joong’s face in front of him. “She’s all that.”

    “She needs all the support and help that she can get.” Jae Joong placed his words calmly.

    “I’m worried…”

    “You’ve every single right to worry, man. And I talk as a friend of yours and also a friend of hers.”

    Hyun Joong let out a heavy sigh. “But she’s good at switching-off her emotions.”

    “You’re the most important person that can help her survive all this things.”

    “But her exception…” Hyun Joong stares blankly. “It seems like she forced it…”

    “She doesn’t want you to feel bad about it… about her.”

    He nods. “I know…” He cups his face again. “But she changes her emotions like switching the light on and off. Sometime she laughs, the other time she cries.” His eyes feel hot again. The tears were so expensive before but right now…

    “Sadness comes in five phrases, Hyun Joong. I think that’s not an acceptation. It’s more like disclaimer. She tries to disclaim her feelings.”

    “What should I do then, Jae Joong?” he left out another heavy sighs.