CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Along the orchard

A number of morns had passed. 

Sungmin could not count them all but Kyuhyun was nowhere to be seen. He had expected the young master to come knocking on his door the morning after the huge ordeal but it was only Ryeowook who had walked through his room.

He was disappointed and frightened. What if Kyuhyun had left him? What if he followed whatever his family asked him to do? Kyuhyun still has a life ahead of him and Sungmin was obviously not a huge part of it. In fact, he could be a hindrance. He was just a fraud of a chambermaid who rose up the ladder and became a lord. He was not even a woman to begin with.

He had no right to demand.

But Sungmin hoped and he wished that Kyuhyun would be there by his side as what he had promised. He wanted Kyuhyun to rid him of all the apprehension and the nightmares. It was only him who could do that, his presence was enough. Even without words, Sungmin felt at ease with the young master by his side.

The cold cuffs, the iron bars - they were not easy to forget. They had been part of his dreams and for nights, Sungmin would wake up in the dark feeling all alone. There was no assurance, no care. There was no one beside him to soothe him of this dreadful chill.

To put it simple, he just misses Kyuhyun.

He had admitted to himself long ago that he was dependent on the young master. He wanted to be by Kyuhyun's side all the time, to look at his face, to drown into his eyes and to hold his hand. Sungmin could only ask for it. When he was working as a servant, it was the only assurance he had. It was the only truth above all the lies he could give.

But as the clock ticked loudly in his ears, Sungmin realised that life was moving on and he was getting left behind. He had been locked up in the Mansion for days now, refused any audience from his father or his sister and he did not talk to anyone. Not even his usher who would attempt to initiate a conversation with him. Sungmin felt guilty about this as Ryeowook had been nothing but loyal to him. 

It was noon when he decided to finally go out of his room, uncertain of what awaits. It was just a couple of days but Sungmin knew that a lot had occurred. Too bad his father and sister deemed it necessary not to update him. They don't really care as much as he had hoped them to. Sungmin knew he never got any word in the household anyway, and so he shrugged the thought of it.

 The house was void of any noise as he walked through the second storey corridors. There were only soft footsteps probably from the servants walking around. Sungmin frowned, not knowing what day it was.

Leaning atop the staircase, he looked down at the main hall of the mansions. The tapestries were still decorated; there were colourful lanterns around still. Sungmin eyed the paper panels that hung on the chandeliers and the lights that were added atop the sills. They were pretty. They indicated a beautiful festivity which he failed to see.

"So you decided to come out of your room, finally." 

His father was looking at him; his tired eyes were smiling despite the weariness. The old man leaned onto the rails as Sungmin did and sighed.

"It had been a very long week for you." he continued. "Forgive me for all the commotion. I'm just glad that you are out now. It's New Year's Eve and I would love to have the family at the table together."

He almost gasped. It was New Year’s Eve. Indeed, a number of days had passed as he wallowed in a so-called self-pity, wasting days of merriment for useless grief. Plus, Sungmin would turn a year older in a matter of hours and he was not even aware of it. They would be turning on a new year, a new start and he was oblivious about it. He had been sulking, waiting and waiting for Kyuhyun to return but to no avail. Sungmin felt his stomach turn, he was pathetic.

Maybe Hyori was right, maybe she was correct to assume that Sungmin would have a better life if he leaves the country. Sungmin did not see that as an option earlier because he did not want to leave them with all the lies.

But he was free of those lies now, wasn't he?

He has a clean slate. He has a choice of leaving or staying. The Cho's know about him, and they would care less when time passes. The servants, his friends, would have heard about it now and they would probably feel betrayed but that was all. Everyone knew, and they were all allowed to feel whatever they would want to feel. They would judge him, they might hate him, but Sungmin knew he could not do anything about it anymore. His shoulder was lifted off the burden. Hyori was right, one day, everyone would be moving on he would be stuck to where he is, thinking about everything.

"It would be my birthday." He told his father. His eyes were still distant but expecting. He bit his lip as he waited.

There was a small reaction, a movement of some sort before the answer. "Yes. You would be ready for lordship after schooling."

He nodded, knowing the fate that would welcome him soon. He stopped the sigh that was about to escape his lips. He felt a pang in his chest. His father did not seem to care about his coming of age day. All he wanted was for Sungmin to finish schooling so he could be a lord. Not wanting to think about it he did not added fuel to the conversation. He looked around once again and towards the door.

He let out a quick exhale before finally daring to ask. It was better to question Sunyoung than Hyori. His sister had been hostile to him ever since the incident. "Kyuhyun. Did he come?"

The silence that followed confirmed it. The young master did not show himself after all the commotion.

Sungmin was disappointed and at the same time worried. He still wanted to know what had happened. The Villa had been his home for years and he would want to know how the family had resolved it. They would not care soon, may be they don't anymore  but Sungmin does and he would want to appease his mind somehow. Sungmin flinched in thought.

Was the payment enough?

He turned to his father and frowned. "I want to see them." He announced quietly. "I would want to request a meeting with the Cho's."

Sungyoung did not reply, his eyes darted towards him but there was no confirmation. Sungmin waited. 

There was no assurance.

*

The New Year was not eventful. The family had their supper together as what Sunyoung had wished. When the clock chimed twelve, they raised their glasses for a cheer. It was Sungmin's first New Year as a young lord and he felt it was not really that special. Back at the scullery, everyone cheered and raised their draughts. They would exchange pleasantries and well wishes. They were loud and happy and they cared less of their image. This time around, they were formal. They stood and clapped and bowed to one another when the lights decorated the darkened skies.

The fire display was pretty long this year as the government continued to rise up the economy ladder. Sungmin smiled as the beautiful lights painted the olive sky. They curtained the darkness with brightness and glee and Sungmin could only think of how these lights represented the life he had known. He had been masked in darkness. He had been hiding in the night, until the light of truth came and the brightness of love overshadowed them all.

Sungmin felt himself smiling, wishing that Kyuhyun was there beside him to watch the beauty of the skies. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, but he hoped that the young master had witnessed the beauty of it all.

When the show ended, the family returned inside to have another light meal. Sungmin stuffed himself, not willing to speak. Sunyoung attempted for a conversation but everything just fell into utter awkwardness.

*

It was during the New Year High Mass did he finally see Kyuhyun and the meeting was something he did not expect, especially with their families at bay.

Sungmin went out with everyone for the Thanksgiving mass before noon the next day. Even with the lack of sleep from the festivity, all families were expected to be there; not only for the sake of attendance, but for the sake of their status as well. Sunyoung also insisted that Sungmin be there for his birthday blessing. Though no one had formally greeted him, he agreed.

It was ridiculous in his opinion. Sungmin's birthday was never a big deal before but the pats and kisses he received and the "Happy Birthday’s” that were said meant a lot. It would have also been the first birthday he would've known Kyuhyun.

He hoped it was on a different case.

The tension was high when the two families crossed paths after the mass. The Cho's were seated in the front rows with the higher court members while the Lee's were on the mid part, where the rest of the elites were supposed to.

As soon as Kyuhyun’s form dawned to him, the familiar longing returned. Sungmin wanted to see his face, to hear his voice and to talk to him. Ahra was there, beside him, pale and weak. But her face was still painted with a smile. She turned around when she saw him and nodded toward his direction. Siwon did the same. He waited and waited but Kyuhyun’s gaze never darted towards him. He felt pain and fear bubble up whenever he tried to get the master’s attention.

When the ceremony ended, Sungmin was unsure if he would go to Kyuhyun or not. He wanted to talk to him and enquire of what had happened in their home. He wanted to understand and hear from the young master that everything would be fine. He needed the certainty, even without the usual touches and gazes; he just wanted to hear the assurance from Kyuhyun. But he couldn't. His own legs would not move when he got an open path. Kyuhyun was greeting some people and he was smiling at them. 

Sungmin wanted to see his face; he wanted to see if the smile was real enough for him to stand back but he didn’t. And even before he could, Hyori had tapped his shoulder for them to return home.

He followed his sister towards the awaiting chauffeur quietly, not anymore spending a glimpse towards the Cho's. They wouldn't allow it anyway; he felt the tension between the two masters when they crossed paths at the service. Good thing though is that they remained civil towards one another and let out at least a bow.

Hyori stopped as soon as her first foot landed on the rest. She turned to her side, and then to Sungmin. He almost bumped on her back, eyes still glued to the ground.

He looked up.

Kyuhyun was standing there; he was smiling at them, unforced. He just saw the young master inside the Cathedral, now he was there, standing in front of them all. More so, Kyuhyun did not hold a hostile attitude. He was smiling genuinely. 

Soon enough, the young master bowed and took Hyori's hand onto his. He kissed her in a formal greeting and turned to Sunyoung with a bow.

"I would like to speak with Master Sungmin, if you may, my lord, and lady." He spoke. "I would him back to your place as soon as we are done."

Time stopped for all of them. Sungmin could feel the tension that followed with Kyuhyun’s formal pronouncement. After everything that had happen, the young master was acting as if nothing had occurred. It confused him but somehow, along with the shock, Sungmin felt the familiar warmth inside him. The heat was evident on his cheeks and with nothing to say, he looked down, willing his eyes to be covered by his hair. Kyuhyun was asking for permission to his family. They were acting so formal that it seemed Kyuhyun did not know them. It must have been the easiest way though; Hyori and Sunyoung would not deny him, not with people around.

Sungmin knew that their families would never have a chance to a good relationship after what had happened. But Kyuhyun was reaching out so formally that it seemed he was planning to start anew.

His eyes were shining as he waited for their response.

The stiffness of Hyori's stance told Sungmin that she would not allow. She would probably send Kyuhyun away and insult him.

Unfortunately, Sunyoung beat her to it. "Master Kyuhyun, a Happy New Year to you." Kyuhyun nodded in acknowledgement and returned the greeting. "And yes, you may." 

Sungmin turned to his father who was standing close. He was smiling back at Kyuhyun. His tired eyes were directed at the young master and he seemed fine with everything. It was getting confusing but Sungmin couldn't deny he was happy.

"Thank you, my lord. I would ensure his safety. Rest assured we would return."

"Father?" Hyori spoke this time but Sunyoung stopped her with a hand. 

"That would be fine, Master Kyuhyun. Please..." his hand now reached for Sungmin’s forearm before he was gently pushed towards Kyuhyun. He saw his father turn to Hyori and asked her to enter the car.

No words followed and Sungmin just watched them leave, unsure of what to do after. Kyuhyun looked at him with a smile. "Happy Birthday, Sungmin." He greeted him and he felt himself blush once again.

"Kyuhyun."

He did not know where the Cho's have gone the time Kyuhyun lead him to another car where Heechul was waiting for them. 

"Hello, gorgeous, it has been a while." The maestro started. He was smiling at him, that one Sungmin was intimidated of but he returned it with a nod.

"Why are you still shy?" Heechul continued. "You're of equal status with us. Chin up, dear, and look at me in the eye."

"Heechul." Kyuhyun's voice rang. Sungmin swallowed. He missed it. He missed his voice and the warmth that was around it. He missed Kyuhyun's presence beside him and all he wanted right now was to wrap his arms around the young master. 

Heechul grunted and waved his hand. "Fine. Fine. I'll be attending another dinner later. You two have fun, okay? Happy New Year!" He greeted as he pushed the two lords inside the vehicle.

As soon as the engines started, Sungmin turned to Kyuhyun. 

"Where are we going?"

He smiled back at him, his hand now on Sungmin's. "Some place without all the drama." He whispered to his cheek before giving him a peck. Sungmin closed his eyes, feeling Kyuhyun beside him. He couldn't fathom how much this was missed. A couple of days had passed and Sungmin had been kept in his own dilemma, in his own self pity, all by his own stupidity and fear. He looked at the young man beside him as the car shook on the journey. He did not mind the chauffeur, not really. The young master's hand was on his cheek, thumb massaging his lips.

"It took you a while." He murmured as he kissed the fingers gently. Sungmin took the other hand. "I thought.... what happened?"

Kyuhyun tilted his head before capturing Sungmin's lips with a kiss. It was just a peck but it radiated his feelings a thousandfold. Sungmin leaned in to prolong the act but Kyuhyun pulled back with a smile. "I had to deal with my family." He reasoned. "They are still not pleased with me, but I managed to convince them to forget about their issues with yours."

Sungmin stared at the other in surprise.

"How? What?"

Sungmin saw Kyuhyun avert his gaze from him. "You’re father is very civil, I’m glad he did not forget how we disregarded all his lies and debts. He owes us, and this time, it’s not about the money. I’m relieved he still has that shame.”

He was holding him too tight but he did not mind. Sungmin looked at Kyuhyun, studying his expression. There was something else; there was something the young master isn’t saying.

He opened his mouth to talk but Kyuhyun stopped him with a shake of his head. "Don't." He reached for his cheek. "Don't think about it, love. It's not the time." His fingers travelled carefully onto Sungmin's neck and traced the chain the glittered. 

"I am glad that you keep the Dirk still." He spoke. "It makes me happy that you keep a part of me with you."

Sungmin looked up at him, eyes glistening the tears that are yet to fall. He did not know but there was something gurgling inside him that made him tear up. However, he knew that Kyuhyun was right. It was their time alone, this should be cherished. "Even without it, you are always with me, Kyuhyun. You never will leave."

It pained Sungmin how much he had thought that being dependent towards Kyuhyun was a bad thing. He was thinking of how his life would have moved on without the young master and how people around him aren’t making such a huge fuss over it. Now that they were together once again, Sungmin realised how wrong he was.

He wanted to be with Kyuhyun, a petty wish that seemed so pathetic but Sungmin could just hold on to him and only him. He had his friends, his so-called servants, and then his family but it was different. With the young master whom he had been scared of once, who had intimidated him more often than not, Sungmin found something different. He found whatever it is that is stronger than friendship and filial bonds and he was happy with it. He wished it would be fine. Oh, how he hoped that everything would be all right for them.

*

When the vehicle was put into a halt, Sungmin opened his eyes to find out he had fallen on a nap. He looked at Kyuhyun who was just eyeing the outsides from the window. He could see the once green hills, now peppered with white snow from the sky. They were somewhere distant from the metro,

"The snow here is not as dirty as the city's" Kyuhyun murmured. "It's the same but it’s not white mud."

He let out a low chuckle that made Sungmin smile back. It was not every day that Kyuhyun would show how pleased he was with anything else. His eyes and smile were usually reserved for him and only him. Sungmin wondered when the last time the young master had appreciated other simple things was.

"You should smile more." Sungmin commented and when Kyuhyun turned to him with a questioning look he continued. "I mean, you should try to value other things, to find beauty in them. You told me once you've seen the world and I am jealous that you did, but the stories aren't stories, they lack life."

"You mean, I don't feel them?" A pair of eyebrows was raised. "But I was happy."

"You were, but not with the simple things – with the sun, the snow, the honks of cars, the sounds of hooves and the laughter of people. You're more pleased with the parties, with the travels and the food, the people you meet and the schools you've been into. Try to be happy about the hills, the children, and all other things that you seldom notice."

"I am happy with you."

Sungmin stuttered, feeling the heat on his face return. There was something different in this conversation. It wasn't the usual story telling they would have or the words of flattery. There was need and there was longing, it was like a compensation for something missing, or something to be missed.

"C'mon," Kyuhyun took his hand. "I'll show you around."

It was freezing outside. He wanted to scurry back to the car, sealed from the entire chill as soon as his booted feet met the ground. But his body betrayed him as his eyes roamed the view before him.

The hills were just metres away from where they stopped, the path was covered in the same white dust he sees around. When his eyes reached the fields and the orchards, they all seemed like cottony clouds. The white snow that always seemed to be white dirt looked like they were pieces of cotton scattered everywhere. Kyuhyun tightened his hold, their skins were freezing, but the warmth they shared was enough.

"We could make a nice stroll later on, when the sun peaks out." Kyuhyun murmured. "But for now, lunch?"

Sungmin had no idea what the young master was planning. Kyuhyun had always been impulsive, he does things he wanted, and he was not new to it. Sungmin was dragged towards the foot of the hills where a small cottage sat. The path led to it and the walk was not really long, save the idea that they were half jogging amongst the rows of ice covered shrubs.

Sungmin's eyes widened when they came to a halt.

It was the same. He knew that place.

Ten years and he still knew it.

A kid around thirteen was waving at them at the fence, he was smiling. Kyuhyun jogged up to him, dragging him in the process and the young master’s face was covered in utter glee. Sungmin’s pounding heart swelled in glee as he saw the face, it was getting harder to breathe every single second.

It was the old cottage. Sungmin was still young back then, but the image was starting to dawn at him. The hills have been painted white but the foot of it revealed the orchard, highlighted in snow.

The spring image had been stuck in his mind that he had totally forgotten how it had looked in winter. He smiled, feeling the sting of tears at the back of his eyes.

"Kyuhyun." He pulled him a little, forcing them both to stop. "What is this?"

The young master smiled. "I found this through your father. I heard from one of the scullery maids that this has been your home, your real home." He moved closer to him. With mouth agape, Kyuhyun pulled him to an embrace, kissing his forehead as soon as their bodies were close enough. He smiled at the warmth.

"C'mon, Sungjin is waiting."

*

The luncheon of pot roast and simple vegetable soup made Sungmin's stomach and heart swell. It was not as extravagant as the mansion's kitchens but it wasn't as lacking to pass as slaves' meal. It was just enough actually.

Sungjin was his cousin, the baby his aunt had cradled ten years ago. He was the same boy whom he had taken care of, whose cries he had heard at night. Sungmin looked at him as they feasted on the meal, not really believing what he was seeing.

"It’s nice to see you again, Sungmin." Sungjin had babbled. "Mother informed me that the next time you would be here, you might look like a girl. I guess she was wrong." Sungmin smiled. It has been years and he did not expect to see the child he had left before. He did not expect to see him become almost a young man. Sungmin could remember the trade. His aunt brought him to the cities and he was awed with the structures around. Sungjin had been a year or two, he did not know, but he was crying all through the trip. Now, he is a grown man.

"Things change." He spoke soon. "But I'm glad to be back. Kyuhyun..."

"Master Kyuhyun came here the other day, said an old face want to see this beauty again." He talked older for his age. His words were guided and learned, almost like a lord. Sungmin was ashamed, this younger boy is more mature, more educated than he was.

A grasp of warmth shook him from the building reverie, he turned to Kyuhyun who was smiling at him. He had planned it. He looked for the old house and brought Sungmin there. It was a present he knew Sungmin would love, for the orchard had been once his home and the city was nothing but lies to him.

Here, Sungmin can be himself and they were both free.

When the meal ended, Sungmin took his time roaming the small cottage. It was better than he could remember. He smiled.

His aunt had passed away due to an unknown sickness. It was common amongst people in the fields to be hit by colds and pneumonia. Sungjin was too young to be orphaned but he was working well, and he lived well. He cared for the house and tended the orchard. It seemed so impossible but he managed. Sungmin wished he was there to care for him, to be there for him when no one else was.

It was funny how the connection built up, for he knew the kid, and he chose him rather than his own family.

"You're alone in here?"

"The old woman from across the fields visits me daily. We do the farming together."

He nodded and continued his tour. It was not as he remembered it was for it was better than when he lived in it. The ceilings were fixed, there were no gaps on the walls, and there was proper heat inside. Sungjin did well in taking care of it. He smiled as he tried on the small stairs onto the attic.

"No one uses that." Sungjin announced from the small scullery. "But we made it a spare room."

For a young age, Sungjin had worked well inside the house. Instead of being an usher, he worked on his mother's house and continued growing the orchards. Sungmin smiled, wondering how it would be like if he had just grown up with them.

"It's nice to see you like this." The voice made him turn. The attic was small and both of them were hunched in the room. Sungmin sat on the space where the bed used to stand before notioning Kyuhyun to come closer. "You look so content."

"Thank you," He answered. "I had forgotten about this place and you reminded me of it."

"If you don't want to be there, you can be here." Kyuhyun said. "It is your first home. Sunyoung was blabbering on how he had left you at an orchard and it clicked on me."

"You and my father are best buds now?"

Kyuhyun chuckled once again. "No, that was way back when you were at the police station."

His words were full of caution and Sungmin was thankful for it. It must also be the reason Kyuhyun did not come to him the day after his dreadful ordeal. He still wanted to know what had happened in the Cho Villa and how Lady Ahra was doing but the young master pulled him up and soon they were at the door.

"C'mon," Kyuhyun murmured. "Let's go out and enjoy the New Year, and your birthday!"

*

When the sun started to leave the skies, Sungmin let out a yawn, content.

"I don't understand," he spoke when they were both seated on the floor of the attic room. Kyuhyun had lighted the fireplace downstairs and kept the house warm. Snow did not fall from the skies but it was still freezing. Their little stroll that evening did not last long.  There was no one around the frozen orchard and somewhere in between the small walk, Kyuhyun took his gloved hand. Sungmin basked in the warmth of the contact. He liked it so much.

When the sky turned to the usual orange of dusk, Kyuhyun had dragged him back to the small cottage. Sungjin left for the old woman whom he promised to accompany for the night. She was old and very cold and the lad would want to wish her a happy New Year as well. The boy was too kind and Sungmin hoped he could do something for him. It was not like Sungjin is a stranger after all.

"What is?" Kyuhyun turned his head, spreading the warm blanket. The wooden floor was not comfortable enough and the cold still permeates.

"Everything has just been easy. I mean, what did everyone in the villa say?"

Kyuhyun shrugged, a flick of sadness was obvious in his eyes, but still, he smiled. "I thought we shouldn't be talking about that?" The day was almost ending and Sungmin had to admit that this has been one of the best birthdays he ever had but he still couldn’t let it slip. If he could speak to Kyuhyun now and get everything from him, he would.

The young master shrugged when he did not answer. Kyuhyun is hiding something from him. Sungmin may not have been educated, but he is no fool. This was too easy for both their liking.

"I talked to your father. Like I said earlier, I kind of used my connection to free you and spare them of the debt. But well, my family was not pleased."

"I figured."

The Cho's were not delighted. Kyuhyun had shown aggression towards them and he did everything against their will. Younsaeng was a bit forgiving but he still kicked Kyuhyun out of the main house for days. Ahra was kind enough to take him in and that was how Kyuhyun got the freedom to look for ways to have this day possible.

The family being at the Cathedral was just for show. Of course Hana still wanted their family's image to remain intact despite all the rumours. Plus, Sooyoung leaving their household had caused a number of reactions from the court. Sungmin knew there was more but Kyuhyun refused to speak. He just smiled at him and leaned forward for a kiss.

For now, it was enough. He did not anymore ask for Kyuhyun had given him too much. He couldn't be too selfish, demanding every now and then just because Kyuhyun could it to him. And he was happy, he was enjoying this day. Kyuhyun was right, they were here to avoid the drama, they should make the most of it. 

Kyuhyun had made him feel special on this day. It was not everyday does someone make him feel something like this. He was thankful for it and so despite the apprehension and doubt bubbling inside his stomach, he gave in.

He smiled at him as the young master took him by his waist and pulled him closer. He loves Kyuhyun, he loves him so much and even if the words could not be spoken, he knew that they both feel the same way. Sungmin had always what love feels like, and indeed, despite the pain and fear, it radiates nothing but beauty. There he found peace and contentment. The feeling was overwhelming it was like falling over and over again. His chest ached but it was of a good kind. It did not make him cry or frightened. It made him feel complete.

He felt the smile on the kiss as he wrapped his own arms around Kyuhyun's nape. It was not a very comfortable place, but it was home, and for now, it was everything that mattered.

To be continued...