There was a commotion. There was obviously something going on at the main house.

It was an hour afterward that the honks of cars and scurry of feet echoed around the front porch. The high master and high mistress were obviously not aware of their unannounced visitor and it was calm outside. It was, after all, a Thursday.

No one is expecting whatever hullaballoo is occurring or has occurred. It was supposed to be another normal day of chores and gossips.
Sungmin expected wrong.

A decade, and years and years of unfamiliarity turn to forgetting and the mind is always being infallible. Unfortunately though, even a small trigger can bring up an eternity of memories. A song, a line, a word, a place, or a name. It doesn’t matter, if you know it, you just... know.

Lee Sunyoung.

It had been annulled in his own head. The name had been washed away by the waves of his yesterday and he had allowed them to dive back to the sea. Unfortunately, just like every wave in the ocean, it found its way back to the beach.

Sungmin could not believe it. He was hoping, praying even, that the name has been a common one. There could be another man named the same, there should be. It was a very common family name and anyone could be called Sunyoung. It couldn’t be. Sungmin is not prepared to face yet again another alteration of himself. His life had turned upside down when he was forced into something he was not by this man. He did not know him and yet he was compelled to be under his chains, his command. He had been suffocated enough by the lies rooting from this man. The man who was supposed to be his father.

It did not anymore shock Sungmin when a worried looking Sunmi knocked at the Eastern Halls’ kitchen to call for him. Taeyeon was following the head maid to substitute for Sungmin to attend to the young lady.

He hesitated. He knew who was the man but he did not know what to do, what to feel. What was his father, whom he had forgotten about want from him?

Sungmin stopped in midway. Sunmi turned.

“Did he...” He stuttered, scared. “Did he say it?”

The head maid walked towards him. She had a smile wearied by the years, and yet, it was the only thing Sungmin had in all the years close to a parent.

When she shook her head, a sigh of relief had escaped Sungmin’s mouth. He could not bear it. He might be ordered to be gaoled or something worse for fraud. He could even be –

“Stop it, Sungmin.” Sunmi scolded him. “You would be fine dear. As much as I know, Sunyoung would not jeopardise whatever we both are thinking. Now, just follow me and all this would be over.

He hoped it would be that easy. He was praying it would just be a simple exchange of pleasantries and talks. But he knew better and there is something more than just a visit. Sunyoung had hid for years, what made him return? He is the mastermind of it all.

The door through the receiving area was closed and there were buzzes of murmurs coming through the wooden panels. Sungmin was not hiding his apprehension, more so when the murmurs of other servants echoed from the back door. He never wanted it to be like this. He never wanted this to happen.

The door was pushed open and five pairs of eyes turned to him. Two of them were in relief and the three others in worry.

Sungmin had imagined him to be rowdy, impolite, and a bit filthy. He thought his father was unruly with no trace of being a lord.
And indeed, he was mistaken. Lee Sunyoung was a handsome man. Despite his age, he was holding such dignity and stance that rivalled Younsaeng’s. Sungmin figured how men would feel intimidated by him. Almost like a high lord.

But what caught Sungmin’s attention the most was the woman beside Sunyoung. It was her – Lee Hyori, sitting elegantly on one of the settees. She was, as usual, holding the firm but kind smile she wore.

The silence was broken by a soft cough made by Hana and everyone seemd to have returned to their ious discussion. “We have to let her make a decision.” Younsaeng spoke. He was staring at Sungmin before turning to his old friend. “Sunyoung, we had taken care of her well.”

“I know.” The voice was deep, it was not void of emotion, but there was something in it, something worrisome. “But would you, Younsaeng, deny me of my right of being a father?”

The word gave Sungmin a chill. Father. He had not known one since he could walk. He did not know how it felt to be a child of another, a son nor a daughter. He had none. How was it too easy for Sunyoung to say those words? How easy it was for him to claim it.

“Sungmin has the right to a proper explanation.” Hyori interjected. “Forgive me my lord, but this is not as simple as it may seem, and I myself was shocked when I finally figured it. She deserves to know.”

It was Sungmin’s first time to be ushered to sit down. It was his first time to listen to his high lord and mistress talk. He was even offered tea as Hyori spoke. But how was he supposed to savour such opportunity when his whole past and future was being discussed?

That afternoon, Sungmin learned that Lee Hyori was none other than his older sister. She was Lee Sunyoung’s eldest daughter whom Younsaeng had once claimed to serve them for the debts owed. She was supposed to be in Sungmin’s place. She was to be a chambermaid and not a lady, but Sunyoung promised his second child to Younsaeng.

Unfortunately for all of them, Sungmin was born a boy.

Sunyoung seemed to have hidden still the secret as the stories continued. Hyori was sent to the South to study; she perfected speech courses and finance and was able to land herself a job in the national finance centre. There she met her now husband, a young lord. Hyori had promised her father that whatever they had lost, they would once again claim. And now, Hyori sits in one of the counselling chambers of the high courts.

It was a fairy-tale-come-true for her.

Now, they’re claiming Sungmin back. As what Sunyoung had promised her, her younger sibling would be claimed back to the Lee household instead of serving masters. Sungmin is now a... lady of their own house. The days of debt and defeat are over.

“We’re paying the remaining debts.” Hyori announced. “We’ll claim Sungmin back and then we pay.”

“You can’t just take her away. She’s still bound in here.” It was Hana’s turn to object. “At least give her a choice if she wants to. All her life, Sungmin was accustomed to the villa as a lady in waiting. You don’t expect her to jump out of the scene and become the lady to be served too soon.”

“Lady Hana is right. I would have to second my wife in this. A working lady without court experience is next to a milkmaid in a farm. She could not be one. You have to think about her welfare too!”

“We want Sungmin and that is it. We’ll take... her whether she says yes or no. Sungmin is part of the Lee family.” Sunyoung announced, his voice higher than it was earlier.

“A little money and you’re out of your league again, Sunyoung. A decade of penance taught you nothing.”

“You do not tell me what to you, Younsaeng.”

The conversation was starting to heat up. And still, Sungmin did have nothing to say, nor was he given the opportunity to talk, to ask. Everything was coming in fast, at such blur. Everyone was speaking at the same time and even Sunmi and Inyoung were conversing on their own. The buzzes in the room made him feel sick, and Sungmin had that urge of throwing up.

In utter confusion, he stood up. Maybe a little harsh than how he intend it to be because everyone stopped. He was facing the floor, fingers playing around his hands. All eyes were on him, piercing his soul, waiting and judging as to what he was to say.

“Please...” He spoke, it was almost a whisper and he did not care. “Can we all just... stop?” He raised his head, and eyes widened in shock. Sungmin was crying. He did not understand himself either but the outpour of emotions had taken its toll. The truth forever hurts.

With that, he turned to the door and ran. He stepped out of the receiving hall and headed straight to the centre hallway to the grand staircase. He did not stop even when he bumped onto a familiar body and scent. Despite wanting to cling to the man, Sungmin just ran. He ignored Kyuhyun’s call and went straight to the Eastern halls and finally to his private room.

*

No one called for him. His presence was not requested not even by Ahra or Victoria. He locked himself inside his room for the rest of the day and the day that followed. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone, to pretend that he was fine. He was tired of hiding frowns behind smiles when he knew he was not going to be okay,

It was unfair. But Sungmin’s life has never been fair.

Even when he heard the usual tap of the wooden floors, he did not open the door for Kyuhyun. The young master must’ve heard about it. He probably had and Sungmin could feel Kyuhyun’s anger behind the door. Still, he ignored him.

“Sungmin if you’re not going to open this, I’ll ruin this door, and you would never have the chance to lock yourself up ever again.” Despite the whisper, he made sure that the anger was heard. Sungmin kept quiet, not giving out a response until the knocks become louder.

Frustrated and a bit mad, he dragged himself to his door and finally pulled it open. “You should not be here!” Sungmin shouted in a whisper. He had too much on his plate that he can’t handle Kyuhyun as of yet. He was feeling guiltier every moment he was with the young master. “What are you...”

He was not able to finish his words as Kyuhyun pushed him back to the room and glared at him. The young master was not carrying his cool anymore. His forehead was crumpled and his lips were curved into a frown.

Nevertheless, when Kyuhyun took his hand and cupped his cheek, the usual gentleness was still there. His eyes were still shining despite the weariness that his body denoted. Sungmin felt himself relax when time seemed to stop for both of them. He digested the minutes they remained motionless and silent as they stare at one another in a comfortable silence.

He was wrong to ignore Kyuhyun.

“I know.” The young lord murmured. His voice was low and sad. Sungmin had known him enough to make out of his every word. It seemed as if he had known Kyuhyun all his life. “And I don’t want you to carry this on your own.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to me.” Sungmin swore his heart thump a little louder than it should. “And I don’t want people I care for suffering.”

He did not notice that Kyuhyun was kneeling in front of him, that the young master had pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed and was looking up at him. No one had ever looked up at Sungmin the way Kyuhyun does. He was smiling now.

“Sungmin, I...”

He kissed him. He knew. He felt it right and despite everything that was wrong about it, he felt right. Kyuhyun was quick to return the gesture, simple and plain yet bursting with emotions. He had read about love, he had tried and tried to figure it but just as books say, it comes when you least expect it to. Maybe, Sungmin is in love.

The tenderness of the kiss turned to something deeper. Kyuhyun pushed his tongue deeper into Sungmin’s mouth, allowing it to run along his teeth. He bit his lip softly, pulled him closer. Sungmin let out a sound at the back his throat as his fingers ran through Kyuhyun’s dark hair. He grasped them, showing his need, his desire for the man holding him.

When they pulled apart, they were not gasping or panting for air. There were sparkles of smiles in their eyes despite the fear in their hearts. Sungmin leaned closer, his forehead meeting Kyuhyun’s before the young master once again spoke.

“Let’s go away.”

The message sank slow and when it did, Sungmin pulled a little and stared at the brown orbs.

“What?”

“Sungmin, let’s run away. This life, our lives, they’re far more complicated and painful.” Kyuhyun moved closer. “Come with me and let’s start anew.”

It left him confused and all he reasoned a lame one. “But I’m just a servant...”

“No. You’re not. You’re one of the greatest persons I’ve met, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun smiled at him. “You’re kind, and down to earth, you are not like the other ladies, you showed me so many things that I have not seen before. You’re different.”

There was guilt and pain. The throbbing in his chest was becoming painful because Sungmin knew that all he was is a lie, a pretence. Kyuhyun took a deep breath and cupped his cheeks. “I haven’t told you this before but when I’m with you, I’m happy. I’m content. I can be myself. You’re not just someone, Sungmin. And I want us to be together.”

“Kyuhyun.”

“Sungmin. I have lived my life on my own free will, I returned because I thought things had changed but they haven’t and I don’t want both of us living something we do not want.”

The room was getting colder every minute and Sungmin had that urge to jump onto Kyuhyun and embrace him. Instead, he squeezed Kyuhyun’s biceps, smiling a little to hide the skip of his heart like a bird fluttering against its cage. He felt Kyuhyun stiffen, it was not unpleasant, but it was frightening.

A confession is something Sungmin had been familiar with before. But now, he was uncertain.

“Tell me you don’t want to go. Just please...”

Where was the sudden need coming from? Why was Kyuhyun so desperate to plead him to stay?

“Why?” He choked on his own words. “Why are you being like this? I’m no one Kyuhyun...”

“I was not supposed to do this.” Kyuhyun finally admitted. He was holding a bitter smile on his face. “You probably have known that I’ve been asking Heechul about this... about us because I myself am uncertain about what’s going on. I’m frightened about my own feelings because damn, Sungmin, it’s different.”

“What is different? You’re flinging with me like you did with other women. I... I thought...” He let himself free of the hold and stood up walking to the dresser. The Odyssey was resting on top and he allowed his fingers to run through the cover.

“You thought I was playing around? That whatever we had was nothing? So it was...” There was panic and confusion in his voice as he paced around. “You don’t... feel the same way?”

“No! I mean, Yes!” He panicked, not noticing that he was raising his voice over Kyuhyun. The young master was staring at him, helpless and perplexed. How would he do this? Sungmin was not prepared. There’s just too much going on.

He reached for the man, took his hands, and kissed them gently. He was not conscious of himself anymore, he was just moving closer and closer to Kyuhyun.

“It is not what you think it is because I swear to god, Kyuhyun, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and my fates be damned, I would love to be with you.” There, he said it. “But it is not as simple as it is...”

“Then what?”

“Kyuhyun... There’s something you need to know and I... I would understand if you would want to curse at me and throw me out.”

“Sungmin, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, you’re here. We’re both here. You’re the only person I’ve felt this way and I wouldn’t give you up for the world.”

It was becoming more difficult. Kyuhyun was not supposed to speak anymore because it hurts Sungmin. The confession should not be now. Not now, not ever...

Sungmin took Kyuhyun’s face and kissed him tenderly, something he won’t be able to do anymore.

“Kyuhyun, I am not.... I am not a gi---”

His door burst open.

Donghae was standing at the way, his eyes wide in shock and pain as he stare at both of them, gaze alternating from Kyuhyun to Sungmin and back.

“My hunches are correct.” He announced. “You’re together.”

Sungmin just could not believe how a single day is turning up to be more and more complicated for him. The last time he had such was when Ahra returned at the villa and caused a raucous. Even then, he was not fully involved.

But now, it was like the heavens are striking on his fate for choosing him to be the centre for every event, every drama. It made him question the justice in life. It was just a day. He was okay for a while and then problems come running to him. He can’t continue like this, explaining endlessly to people he does not even owe. He shook his head as Donghae inched forward to them.

He could feel Kyuhyun’s hands squeezing his arms, pulling him closer as if Donghae imposed a physical threat.

When Sungmin’s body was finally enclosed in Kyuhyun’s, the young master straightened up and glared at the young usher.

“I believe it is none of your business, Donghae. You should be in your room now. You’re dismissed.”

Donghae shook his head, muttering words they could not decipher. His face was contorted in pain and anger and he was moving closer to where Sungmin and Kyuhyun were.

“Hae... please.” Was all Sungmin could say before the young usher reach for him and asked a soft “why?”

Sungmin had been used to rejections, and he had made it clear to Donghae that he was not interested in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, the young usher never gave up, may be because Sungmin was not able to make it clear that he is interested in someone else. It was, once again, Sungmin’s fault.

“Don’t touch her.”Kyuhyun defended. “Donghae, Sungmin and I are together, you’re not supposed to intervene without relationship. You may go.”

“No.”

They looked at him in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Sungmin is a chambermaid. You’re a master of the house, you can’t be together. This... this, whatever this is... it won’t.... I....”

“We’re running away.”

Kyuhyun was furious. His body was shaking in utter anger that he had moved closer to Donghae and let go of Sungmin. The chambermaid did not know what made Kyuhyun fully angry. Was it Donghae answering back? Or Donghae’s jealousy? Nevertheless, it did not pass Sungmin’s ear that Kyuhyun claimed him, he told the usher that they were running away, that Donghae would not have anything to do with Sungmin because Sungmin chose Kyuhyun. Donghae has no right to claim him because Sungmin could make his own choices and he could never force him to like him.

Sungmin did not know what to feel. In all fairness, he was overwhelmed by Kyuhyun’s pronouncement and how he was certain about their relationship. It was an open declaration, something Sungmin was not used to. Kyuhyun took him by the hand when he was done talking and smiled at him.

“I care for Sungmin and she is important to me. If you’re gonna ask me if I have feelings for her...” He turned to Donghae and then back at Sungmin. “Yes, I do. And this is not how I pictured my confession would be but so things be damned.” He squeezed Sungmin’s hand one more time before turning to the usher. “Now please...”

“You’re not even certain if she loves you back.” Donghae retorted and Sungmin was caught off guard. His eyes widened as he stared at Kyuhyun who was still looking at the other. He wanted to say yes but he was just scared and confused. There was just too much going on. He opened his mouth to speak but Kyuhyun defeated him to it.

“I am certain she is at least interested, the reason why she gave me the chance...” This blew it up. Donghae’s face was hurt, more hurt than ever and Sungmin had to stop them. He did not want them to fight, he did not want them hurt.

“Please.... Please just stop.”

“Sungmin.” They chorused.

He was too tired of everything. He hated the fact that people are fighting over him. First Sunyoung and Younsaeng, now Donghae and Kyuhyun. Sungmin was not an object, he was not something to be owned or taken whether he liked it or not. “I don’t want any of this. Please can you... can you just leave me alone? I.... there’s just too much, please!”

He did not realise he was crying until Kyuhyun moved towards him to wipe his soaked cheeks. Donghae was staring at him, sad and hurt, before finally turning to the door. It hurts. Donghae has been his good friend for so long and Sungmin betrayed him.

Kyuhyun inched closer; a soft kiss landed on his cheek was all he remembered before he collapsed on his bed and cried himself to sleep. “Too much,” Sungmin chanted. There was just too much.

*

It was freezing the next morning. His windows were closed but the heated floor was not enough. His lamp had died throughout the night. He sat up from his bed with sore muscles and swollen eyes. He was nauseous.

His feet met the wooden floor and he flinched at the coldness of it. It seemed he had somehow rid himself of his footwear while he was asleep. The glasses of his windows were frosted and there were soft snows falling from the skies. Everything was just cold, and Sungmin needed warmth.

No one disturbed him for the rest of the day. All was quiet as if nothing had happened. He stepped out late in the afternoon to grab tea when he got across Ahra and Siwon conversing in the East hall’s dining area.

“It is her choice.” Ahra’s face was sad. “I don’t know what Sungmin would want but a beautiful life is waiting for her. I would not blame her if she chooses Hyori.”

“So you did not know of it?”

“I did not, my love. Hyori had mentioned to me that she was looking for a sibling sold by her father years ago. I just... did not expect it to be Sungmin.” She sighed sadly, hand caressing her growing stomach. “Sungmin... she’s very dear to me and now that she’s given a choice of her own, I am more willing to support her.”

“And Kyuhyun?”

Ahra knew. She had always known. This did not surprise Sungmin nor frighten him. Ahra was not someone who would tell tales around. She was one of the most understanding people Sungmin knew and she cares for Kyuhyun.

“He has his own choices as well. But I know my brother; he’ll make up something rash if he wanted Sungmin badly.”

“Heechul had mentioned that Kyuhyun had it bad.”

“It is not bad, Siwon. He is falling. And he’s feeling it for the first time.” Ahra stood up, rubbing her tummy as she walked gaze through the window. Sungmin was contemplating on leaving but his feet won’t work. “I’m not going to blame my brother for falling in love and I’m not gonna stop him. I am just scared for what actions he might take.”

*

Would it be easier if Sungmin leaves? Or would it be even more complicated?

Why has his life turn into something that was more than he could hope for? Life was supposed to be simple for him. There should not have much frustration.

His family had been long forgotten. It was an aspect of his life that he had never, ever wished to open once again. It had been erased in his memory, a faded past that would never resurface. But he was wrong, and now they are running after him, claiming him like selling him was not a sin committed, like taking him back could redeem all the loneliness he had endured for years. It was unfair and Sungmin did not want to be with them. Even it makes his fairy tale like that of the Bennett’s come true, it was not anymore the same.

Because Sungmin did not want a life of scripted acts and forced manners. He did not want to be a lady, or a master, that has to be tied to the rules. He did not want to live for the name and the money. He just wants to live happy. It was funny how his life shifted from Austen’s novel to Homer’s undying epic. Sungmin wanted freedom, happiness, and contentment. He wanted adventure and knowledge. Even with the length of time he had to wait, even with the struggles and the pain, he wanted to reach his own Ithaca, a place he truly calls home.
He reached his bedroom longer than expected and he was surprised to find a piece of paper on the gap. Sungmin took in and unfolded it when he was comfortably seated on his bed.

I need to know. Yes or no? –K

They were simple words and even if Sungmin could read them properly, the message was vague. The question Kyuhyun posed had so many meanings. Yes or no of what? Of running away? Of staying? Of wanting to see Kyuhyun that night? Or of his feelings?

He was gripping the paper too tight, crumpling it in the process. He wanted Kyuhyun. His offer was so tempting. But Sungmin did not expect it either to fall into this. He was seeing Kyuhyun because of the attraction he feels towards the young master. He wanted him, and he was not gonna lie that he was indeed falling for him. But at least Sungmin was prepared for the pain. He knew this was not going to last long. He knew he had to cherish it before it would be over. He did not want it to go any further but for goodness sake, Sungmin almost blurted out to Kyuhyun his deepest secret.

He did not care of the consequences. He did not want to lie to Kyuhyun.

He wanted him to learn of the truth.

Even if the outcome would hurt.

He was in love.

He shut his brain off, allowing his heart to think. He needed time but it seemed Hyori and Sunyoung would not be convinced. They would take him soon and they would bring matters to court if Younsaeng could not be persuaded. Servant ownership was still a deal at courts and trading of them was not a good example. Younsaeng’s name would be tarnished if this would worsen.

Sungmin must act fast. He should think, think about all consequences, and choose the least of all burdens. Most especially, to the people he cares for.

He bit his lip and took the think bind on his dresser. Flipping the cover, he found the dried rose still tucked onto the pages. He was not even halfway through it but he had learned so much. He was venturing with the characters, praying and hoping with them. He had fallen in love with the story.

A lone tear stained the page. Sungmin figured what he should do. He was like Odysseus; he was on a never ending journey home. It was frightening but he had to take his chances.

Turning to the mirror hanging by the wall, he looked at his face. He was struck with sadness and guilt that was reflected on his eyes. He forced a smile as he did but there was no happiness in it. He closed his lids, enveloping the darkness. He found the familiar brown orbs, they were sad. He opened his eyes once again, and he was crying. Smiling, but crying.

His hands travelled to his hair. His fingers traced the band that holds them up and he allowed his fingers to linger to that small bow at the side. He sighed before pulling the ribbon off.

He was surprised on how long his hair had grown. They shined in the dark like a black onyx, a stone he had seen on one of Ahra’s boxes. He did not expect them to be well kept, as if he had combed them a hundred times every day. He fixed his locks onto his shoulder and stared at his image.

He looks like a girl.

He moved closer to the mirror. Minutes passed and Sungmin just stood there, watching his reflection, looking the at the changes, the lies that people see.

Finally, he turned around, clutched the book onto his chest and let out a breath he has been holding.

This was it. He finally made his choice.


To be continued...


A:N: hi, is this okay? I'm not quite sure if this made sense... but uhm, I hope you like it! ^_^ Thanks again for sticking to my story! :D i love you all!!!!