Chapter Fourteen: Lighting the Fireplace

The room was closed but the sweep of the wind brought the fire to brighten up. There were soft pops from the pieces of wood burning but the warmth never help with the chill.

The covers of his mattress and the thick comforters should have been enough but it seemed that his body had gone cold from the inside. It must've been his fever returning but his skin was as numb as ice. He sat there, covers up his chest and hands clinging on the edges. It seemed like his life was on the line, like an unknown danger is lurking beside him.

But there was no known danger. In fact, it was that time he would feel safe, that the security he always longed for wraps him in assurance. It was always like that, always with Kyuhyun.

He did not move, his body frozen in the coldness trapped outside his room. But Kyuhyun did. He was walking closer and closer to Sungmin until he was on the side of the bed, fingers inches away from the thick covers on his skin.

Willing himself, he raised his head to met Kyuhyun's eyes.

Kyuhyun was holding a soft smile. There was nothing but the familiar gentleness in his eyes and Sungmin longed to see that, to feel that. The fear of everything, the loss and the pain. They were all compensated by the familiar look, that feeling of home whenever he was with the young master. Sungmin realised this was how to be loved; this was how to be in love. He smiled back at Kyuhyun finally loosening his grip on his own blanket.

"Hey."

There it was again. Kyuhyun's usual greeting. A single syllable and it was enough to tell Sungmin that it was fine. They were fine. He nodded and finally, he pulled Kyuhyun closer to him. He finally got the long desired courage to pull the man he loves onto his arms, into a fitting embrace.

"Kyuhyun."

And Sungmin cried.

His tears were neither of happiness or sadness. They were not of loss or gain. They were just tears of plain emotion, tears of relief and gratitude.

Why?

Kyuhyun pulled him closer to an embrace; he was seated on the mattress close to him, rubbing his back gently. He cried onto Kyuhyun’s arms, clinging onto his cloaked shoulders. He wanted Kyuhyun, he wanted them to be together.

Despite the horrid thoughts of Kyuhyun hating on him, despite the frightening idea that this might be goodbye, Sungmin continued holding on to him. Sungmin never felt this way, not towards anyone. Not even his closest friends or Ahra or anyone from the Villa. He remembered his aunt but he knew that she never cared for him. Not even Hyori or Sunyoung. No one, no one ever made Sungmin feel like this. Only Kyuhyun... only his young master.

Soon enough, Kyuhyun's lips were on his. And he did not stop him. Instead, he returned the deed with much fervour pulling Kyuhyun ever so close onto his arms. He was responding to it despite the uncertainty at the back of his head. He wrapped his arms around the young master’s nape and he felt him smile as they melted into each other’s arms.

He loves him. And Sungmin couldn't give a damn anymore.

When they pulled apart, time felt like an eternity of bliss. They were panting, but their eyes were smiling. The darkness of the room did not matter anymore.


“I fell in love with Sungmin.” Was what Kyuhyun said. His thumb was rubbing soft circles on his cheek. Sungmin leaned to the touch as the words echoed in his head. He watched the fire at the other side of the room not believing what he was hearing.

“I didn't fall in love with a chambermaid, or an usherette, or a butler, or a lady or a young lord.” Kyuhyun had his hands in him and he was smiling brightly. “I love Lee Sungmin.”

The tears were dry on his face now. The cold could've turned them to ice but Kyuhyun's presence kept him warm. “How...” Sungmin croaked and stopped himself, swallowing a lump on his throat and sighing audibly. “How can you not be angry?”

Kyuhyun smiled and finally released his hold. He walked around the bed and to the fireplace. His hands at his back as if inspecting the logs. Sungmin pulled the covers away, wanting to run close to the other. His bare feet reached the carpeted floor. It was warm. Kyuhyun squatted in front of the bricks and took the cinder stick to wipe the dead coals. He pulled out the reserved pieces of wood and dumped three of them onto the fire.

The fire cackled and Sungmin settled on the couch, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Kyuhyun was too far away.

“I knew you were hiding something from me.” He spoke, voice low. “I just could not figure what because you were always so evasive. I thought that you were just scared. But now... I found out what it was. And I couldn’t feel any hatred or anger even if I try to.”

“Why?”

Kyuhyun arranged the logs inside the fireplace one more time before turning to Sungmin. His right knee was supporting his weight as he did so.

Despite the shadows, Sungmin saw the light in Kyuhyun's face. He saw the flicker of hope and tenderness on his eyes. Even without the burning fireplace, Sungmin found his light.

“Because I love you.”

Sungmin opened his mouth to speak. The confession was not something he was prepared to hear. It was something too fast, too clichéd in romantic novels that cannot be placed in real life. He stared at Kyuhyun, wide-eyed as he digested the words.

The young master was kneeling in front of him when he finally found the words to say.

“But I’m a boy.”

“And?”

He shook his head, utterly confused. This was giving him a headache.

“We can’t... we can’t be together because we’re both boys. Unless... you’re a girl.”

Kyuhyun barked in laughter. He was gripping Sungmin’s knees too tight and he had to throw his head back in utter amusement. How can Sungmin ask such?

“No one had ever said that two boys cannot love one another. Did you know that Achilles and Patroclus were in a relationship?”

Sungmin did not understand the reference. But one thing was clear to him. Kyuhyun did not care.

“Okay... so I was shocked when you turned around, but...” He smiled as he shook his head as if regretting the minutes that Sungmin had turned around and walked away. It happened hours ago, almost a day and yet, it felt like an eternity. “When the door slammed close, I instantly felt empty.”

Sungmin’s chest tightened. He could feel the swelling of his heart. He could feel something greater than happiness. He could feel something way better. “Kyuhyun...”

“I love you, Sungmin.”

He couldn’t help it any more. The night was supposed to end warily. It was supposed to be painful. But it didn’t. And it was not even over as what he had expected to. He really should stop anticipating, worrying about what may happen. They usually don’t end the way he perceived.

Kyuhyun leaned forward to kiss him and nothing had changed. His hands covered his shoulders and pushed the coat down. Sungmin gave in. He allowed him to manoeuvre their bodies on the couch until they were resting comfortably. Sungmin's back hit the hard cushion as Kyuhyun's lips met his neck, travelling down his shoulders.

Kyuhyun pulled the comforter away from his body, ridding Sungmin of his covers.

He did not protest or stop Kyuhyun. Not even when they were both only on their white shirts, Kyuhyun's own coat tossed some place in the room. It only dawned onto Sungmin what was happening when cold air slapped his chest and he looked down to see two buttons undone.

"Kyu...hyun." He called. His voice was still the same, gentle, soft and a bit frightened. He pushed him with no effort and Kyuhyun raised his head to look at him. His skin must have bore marks now, Kyuhyun's lips were swollen. "We shouldn't.... I’m."

"Ssh, it's fine."

Sungmin pushed Kyuhyun a little. Their gazes were still locked as they sat up, fixing their dishevelled clothes. Sungmin made no effort in buttoning his shirt.

"You know the house at Midnight Street?"

Sungmin nodded remembering the warmth of the simple home, the place that left him scarred and frightened. But there was always another time to mend it maybe this is that time. It was not a bad thing after all.

"It was Heechul's place. His partner from years ago gave it to him but he said that it was too small for him. He had a cleaner to maintain the house once a month. More than that, it remains unused. I borrowed it..."

Sungmin watched Kyuhyun hide his eyes beneath his hair. He was feeling bashful, and it was probably the first time Sungmin saw him act such.

"... for us." He finished.

There was a soft silence, a peaceful one that they both enjoyed. "You... you're not really bothered by this?" He finally asked, his hands hovering on his body as if indicating a state he was in. "I mean... I'm a boy."

Kyuhyun giggled and tilted his head. "Would you believe me if I told you that I had kissed more boys than girls in the West? In Europe, I dated someone for almost a year, but he got married and sailed to the Americas."

Sungmin's eyes widened in the revelation.

"It's not something to be ashamed of. Liking someone does not have to do with his choice of trousers or skirts. Not of long hair and short ones, not of baton or bouquets." Kyuhyun smiled at him. "Let's just say you surprised me, But it did not make me think of you less."

He took his hands and smiled at him. "It is fine, honestly. Would you be okay if I tell you that Heechul and I had kissed once?"

"What?"

And Kyuhyun laughed, burying his face onto Sungmin's neck. He still could not figure what position they were in but never did Sungmin imagined them to be like this... not this time.

Kyuhyun's laughter was beautiful and it was enough to calm his raging thoughts up. He did not expect that his ears would melt in such low symphony. It was only when Kyuhyun was calming down did he realise what had happened. He reacted in a defensive jealousy and Kyuhyun was happy about that. It was not because Kyuhyun kissed another guy but because Kyuhyun kissed another person while they were technically together and Sungmin somehow, in some way, felt bad.

"I'm sorry." He murmured, not certain of what though.

"Hey, hey... I told you it is not something to worry about. We're fine."

"Are we?"

They kissed one more time. Just a simple peck with a matching smile and they pulled apart. There was something in their gazes that hold on to a silent agreement. They did not speak, but they were content.

The fears Sungmin had been harbouring were dissolving little by little thanks to Kyuhyun's assurance.

What would happen next? He really did not know. He wanted to ask Kyuhyun what his plans are and where they were both heading. As far as he knows, Kyuhyun would not stop being with him despite his revelations.

"I want to see you tomorrow?" Kyuhyun spoke once again.

"What?"

"It's just... Everything feels light when I'm with you and I would do anything to spend more time with you."


"You are spending it with me now."

"Yeah, but I want more." They were seated comfortably on the old couch, squeezed in between its leather arm. They were never too intimate, not like this. Not with too much belongingness and comfort. Not this familiar. But Sungmin liked it and he liked it a lot. He did not want this to end. Not this time when Kyuhyun accepted him, that there are no more lies between them.

"I'll see you again tomorrow evening, may be after supper."

Sungmin straightened up but still allowing Kyuhyun to caress his arms. "Kyuhyun.... I... I really don't know where we're heading at with all your propositions."

"Huh?"

Sungmin realised that his own voice had gotten deeper ever since they sat together and it never seemed to bother the young master. However, when he let out a sigh to escape his lips, he realised how feminine it still sounded that his ears heat up.

"Kyu...hyun. I don't know about this. About us. We still..." He paused to think of a good word to say but he couldn't think of something to express his thoughts and so, he went on the only thing he knew. "... need to keep this a secret." His voice faltered over the last word as if he was ashamed of it.

"Society , huh?" Kyuhyun answered as if he understood perfectly. "As a matter of fact... it has become less of a problem for us."

Kyuhyun had to smile once more before explaining to Sungmin their situation. Unlike a master and servant relationship, a master and master relationship is more acceptable now since they are at par. They are both young lords of their own houses and they are both elites. It what matters most in society.

"So we're gonna appear as friends? Our families did not part friends, for your information."

It would be nice if they could be together without any prejudice, if their family settles their dispute. Only, it's Sungmin who can end it since the lies had started out with him. The Lee family can come to a truce with the Cho and both of them could live in peace.

But would the Cho's accept it? What if they learned of the lies Sungmin had been forced into?

"Hey, we can even travel together. I'll bring you over the West and the Orients. We're going to learn a lot."

He couldn't help but feel excited and even with all the odds they are about to face, he wanted to think that everything would be all right. He wanted to think that everything would be well and that smiles would continue to paint their faces and not frowns. He leaned close to Kyuhyun and snuggled. He was happy. At least this time, he was happy and he was with someone he truly loves and who love him back, for everything that he was.

*

Ryeowook had knocked late the next morning, bringing a tray of tea and pie. He was nervous when Sungmin sat up from his position on the settee. Kyuhyun had left him sleeping but he could still feel the warmth from the young lord's body.

"Young master!" The clanking of china rang as Ryeowook ran towards him, wary of the state he was in. "Are you fine? You... slept on the sofa?"

"I..." He rubbed his lids and straightened up. Sungmin had worse. Sleeping on a small couch was no big deal. "I'm good."

He sat up and looked around the room. No Kyuhyun.

"You're breakfast is here. Uhm..." Ryeowook laid the set on the small table. "You're not angry at me, aren’t you? For letting the young lord come in?"

Sungmin smiled. "No, I'm not. I'm glad you did."

He was. It was an honest reply. Ryeowook nodded in appreciation. "Lady Hyori asked for you presence at luncheon today. Would you be able to?"

Sungmin felt revived. He was fine and he wanted everything to be fine. The sulking had been caused by fear and broken connections but they were not broken at all. He smiled as he affirmed his attendance to the meal. He was not prepared to face them all but maybe Sungmin at least owed them the presence.

He allowed Ryeowook to prepare his wardrobe for the day, not forgetting about his dirk that he continued to wear. He sat on his bed and practised more of his reading. It has been a while since he had held the book Kyuhyun had handed him. It was a difficult read. The epic was complicated and the journey home is very difficult. It was frustrating and sad but Sungmin wanted to know the end. He wanted to see if Odysseus finally finds home. He wanted to see if every journey ends happily.



Lunch was quiet. Hyori and Dongwoon were listening to the small tales of their children. The kids seemed happy about Christmas. They were conversing about presents and food and Sunyoung was polite enough to appear he was interested. Sungmin missed Christmas with them. They were his family and he ignored them. But he couldn't feel any empathy. Probably a little to the kids, but Sungmin never felt at home with them. He had always been thinking if he made the right choice of choosing them. But they were blood.

"You're feeling better now?" Sunyoung's voice rang when the children finally got their potatoes.

"Yes, sir. I'm feeling good today."

"Thank goodness. You missed a lot on Christmas because you sulked in your room to recover." Hyori commented. She cleared and smiled at her husband, motioning to Sungmin. "You probably have not been introduced properly. This is Son Dongwoon, my husband."

"Good to finally meet you, Sungmin."

Dongwoon was handsome and prim. He had that look of a lord but he wasn't as intimidating as Sunyoung or even Younsaeng. His eyes were smiling, and he had soft features, he was different from even the young lords Sungmin had met.

"Likewise here, Dongwoon."

Sunyoung looked pleased with the introductions and Sungmin was at least glad that something is going well that day. Dongwoon had talked about his expansion across the Orient of his industrial plans. He had been working with landlords in the Pacific to be able to ship machines and metals from East to West and back.

He was a very intelligent man. Sungmin could judge even by his choice of words.

"And, with this, Sungmin. We wanted you to learn more about them." Hyori added. "Industrial inventions are booming in the West, particularly in England, and with that said, the products we are shipping and delivering would have a great chance of selling."

"That would be good if the business continues to rise up not only here on our region but across the world."

"Yes, that's why we want you to go with Dongwoon on his next trip to the West." Sunyoung finished for them.

Sungmin's heart stopped, or it had probably jumped out of his chest. They were doing it again. They were deciding for Sungmin once again without his consent. Sungmin did not want this. He was just starting to feel better. It had just been a matter of hours after he had found something he could be happy in his situation and it does not even have to do with his family.

He frowned as everyone anticipated for his response. He did not want this.

"No."

"What?"

"No, I'm not going to the West any time soon."

Hyori smirked. She expected the reaction and turned to her father. Sungmin did not like the conspiracy running around between his sister and his father. Every single day that he spends with them continue to prove that they don't care about him.

"Of course, you are. Sungmin. You’re leaving Seoul. Our business requires travel and we have to. The kids would be enrolled in England and you can be with them. Due to court rulings I cannot leave as of yet, but I can drop by every holiday. You can be home-schooled there as well.”

He lost his appetite. He dropped his utensils and frowned at everyone.

“This is becoming hilarious.” He finally said, not even surprised with his own bluntness. “Forgive me, but this is a horrid idea. I have not even settled in... in this kind of life and then you’re sending me away, to a place I’m not even familiar with. I can’t even play a single note on the piano and you are throwing me somewhere I can’t even speak the language?”

They were staring at him. Shock and disappointment flashing through their eyes. Sungmin ignored them and went to his room. He thought it would fine. He thought that he could take this step by step.

Unfortunately, he was once again wrong.

*
Sungmin sat up from his slumber. He once again collapsed to a fitful sleep on his couch. Probably because Kyuhyun’s scent was still there. Despite the smell of wood in his room, he noticed that his room has been made since this morning. He had to thank Ryeowook once again for that.

There was a tray of black coffee on his table and he helped himself with it. Sungmin never wanted to be served. He liked how he does things for himself and not fully depending on others. He never wanted an usher. But Ryeowook was a kind and patient one.

He smiled as steam formed over the cup. It must've been just replaced. It was still hot and he liked the warmth that crawled down his throat when he swallowed.

The clock on the corner of his room denoted it was afternoon and Sungmin wished it was evening already. He wanted to be with Kyuhyun. He wanted to see him and inform him about Hyori’s devious plans to throw him to the West. He knew that she was doing this for Sungmin to be able to start once again, a new life, a new direction.

But he was not prepared. He did not want a sudden change, a full turnaround of everything he had grown accustomed with. Change is inevitable, sure, but it wouldn't hurt to take them a step at a time. Sungmin is a person. He is not a machine. His heart clenched as he thought about it and how mad he felt towards them. He did not like how his own family controls him. Even with the debt of pulling him out of his servant state, it was still their fault nevertheless and Sungmin just wanted to blame their father fully.

He allowed time to run some more, standing only when he heard the service bell ring. Someone was at the library and it’s probably Sunyoung. He wanted to talk to his father. He wanted to listen to him, alone and hear his explanation. He did not want Hyori to be there. She had this attitude of dictating on him.

He pulled on his coat and walked to the main entryway of the mansion that leads to the third door. Ryeowook was nowhere to be found and he hoped that the young boy would take some time off. He had been the only loyal one to Sungmin in this household by far.

Knocking once, he did not wait for a reply and finally pushed the door open. Sunyoung, indeed was there. Alone. He was reading the daily paper, glasses hanging on his nose. Sungmin looked at him for a while, his eyebrows were knitted and he had a frown on his face. He could not see the resemblance but his aunt had once mentioned he looked more like his mother.

Sunyoung raised his gaze and finally folded the paper on his hands. He looked like a lord. He must’ve been a drunkard and a gambler from years ago but his built had redeemed his Lordship stance. He straightened and notioned Sungmin to one of the chairs.

“Do you want some tea?”

He shook his head as polite as he could. “No thank you.... I just wanted to talk to you, alone.”

Sunyoung looked puzzled but he nodded in assurance. He walked to the door and clicked on the lock. The library was Sunyoung’s room, he would usually stay locked up in there until the moon rises atop the sky. Sunyoung was not good with people, but he tries... for Hyori’s sake.

Sungmin cleared his throat and finally met his father’s eyes. “I want to apologise about my actions.” He started. “I have been an inconvenience to you ever since I came here and you must be very upset with me.”

“I am. You’re not being very cooperative and your sister and I wanted only the best for you.”

“No. No that’s not how it is because if you really do, you should not have promised me as a payment even before I was born. And even if you took me back, you should not be as assertive as you are now. You should be understanding and patient.” Sungmin took a deep breath, willing himself not to shake in frustration. “You should stand up for me as my father and not as Hyori’s father alone.”

His father sighed, a smile painted on his face and Sungmin could not fathom what it denotes. He watched him slouch down and look at him.

“Sungmin... It was not easy for me to use you as a form of currency. I was a lord. I had to uphold my reputation that was destroyed by a petty vice. Your mother died months after I left you with Junyoung. We had nothing. I knew Hyori can lift the family up, she was a strong girl.”

“And I wasn’t?”

“No. I did not get to know you. We distanced ourselves to you because I was unsure of our future. Who knew that I gain my lordship once again? Younsaeng told me he would not have me jailed if I remain true to my words. And that he would take care of you. You did grow fine... even as a girl.”

“I still don’t understand. What’s the point of taking me back? I am fine there.”

“You cannot lie your whole life, son. One day, someone would discover the truth and it’ll hit fast and come back at you... painfully.” Sunyoung stood up and walked to the window, hands at his back. “We have to escape and leave the lies so we can live with the truth.”

“This is the reason why I agreed to Hyori to have you send away. We want you to start anew and not face the dilemma of awful judgements and scarring rumours here. People are vicious and it’s better to leave them all to their whims.”

Sunyoung’s words were true. But Sungmin had enough of the lies and the hidings. He had been lying to people he cared for for years, and now his family just want him to leave them be? It was unfair.

“That is not fair.” He voiced out. “At least allow me to think about it firsts. Decisions are to be recalled 10 times before we can be more-than-half sure. Every change has its risk, Father, just give me time.”

He was his father. There was no way in the world that Sunyoung would feel empathic towards him, at least not fully. He waited, he waited for his response, and what he got for minutes that felt like eternity was a sigh.

“I’ll talk to Hyori about it but I cannot assure you of what she would do. Hyori runs this house. I owe her as much as you do. She saved us both and all she wanted was for our family to be complete.”

Sungmin nodded, not smiling or showing any weakness as he stood up. He almost curtsied but finally bowed at the last second. Sunyoung acknowledged his act with a wave and he finally headed to the door.

“Sungmin...” His father called. He turned around and looked at his fierce eyes. “End everything with Cho Kyuhyun. You are a man; you cannot be with another man. And you are still lying to him. One day, he’ll walk away from you. One day, he’ll leave you in shattered pieces.”

*

Sungmin hugged himself. He was thankful that his father took into consideration his plead. He wanted to stay, and as long as he could prevent his departure, he would. He wanted to be in Seoul, with Kyuhyun.

As soon as he had finished his supper, he grabbed his favourite coat and beret and ran out of the mansion. Kyuhyun would be meeting with him once again, at Heechul’s place on Midnight Street. He smiled as he thought of the young master filled him.


It was a long walk. He reached the street longer than before because this time, he took his surroundings in as he passed by them. This part of the centre was quieter. There were less coaches and cars and markets close early. Everyone would go home straight and light fires as they eat their supper.


That was when it dawned to him that his birth date is nearing. The first day of the new year. Just five sunsets away and he'll be another year old. Sungmin never had the chance to celebrate. But his years with it at the Cho Villa were worth it. A trip the market and a happy dinner would suffice as long as everyone was there.

He smiled, stopping only when the familiar house was finally in front of him.

He pushed the door and went straight to the receiving room where Kyuhyun and him had met at Christmas eve. There was not light inside, not a fire or a lamp. The house was freezing as he approached the fireplace and started his own fire. The box of matches was still there, only used from Christmas eve when Kyuhyun and him met. It seemed like ages ago.

When the room was warm and he could remove his gloves and coat without the risk of a frostbite, he sat on the worn down couch. He smiled as he watched the flames go bigger, and their shadows grow bolder every minute.

He thought of Kyuhyun and the days they were together. He remembered that small instance at the scullery where Kyuhyun caught him reading. He remembered how the young master hated romantic novels and suggested war stories to him. He smiled at the drunk Kyuhyun who attempted to kiss him and when the young master was sick and helpless in the library. He thought of Kyuhyun and he smiled. He smiled at the warmth in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach.

He remembered how Kyuhyun followed him around and bought him the small dirk that was still hanging around his neck. He remembered their stolen kisses from the soiree and how Kyuhyun challenged him to be together. He remembered the rose and the book he had doubted.

Kyuhyun's jealousy on Donghae surfaced. He remembered how the young master felt angry about it. He remembered the time when Heechul had to fix things up for them. He remembered how they would sneak at the Eastern Halls . Kyuhyun made everything real for him, he ignited the light inside them and they just keep on burning. The fire cackled and Sungmin closed his eyes.

The reminiscing caught him of guard. Sungmin fell asleep and woke up only at the sound of the market bell. It was midnight.

The fires are dying on the fireplace. He waited, hugging himself in the intrusive cold.

Sungmin waited.


There was no Kyuhyun.


To be continued...

A/n: Hi, do you still remember this? :D Pleas don't be upset over the late update.. Hamster-me apologises for the delay. I'm with my bodyguards! ^^