( ~n w n )~

So as promised, I’ll update this fic first before I do my updates on my short Kris (so sorry, I really have to finish this so that I can proceed to the possible shot keke~), and I’ll just surprise you guise on when the fic will end and stuff(still unsure myself though, but possibly 1-3 more chapters).

We’ll continue with Yunjae, though for the next few chapters, I might do switching of POVs especially with the shot. Oh and I’d like to thank my friend hiddenrose for giving me a few tips on how I should do my shot for Yunjae and Junhee~ XD

I hope you guise like it as much as the previous one(s)~ :3

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20. Not A Friend, But A Man

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I had to tell him. It’s now or never.

“Before anything else, I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t even notice and if you’re thinking that I’m only doing this out of pity, you’re wrong.” I continued to speak, keeping my eyes locked into his surprised-looking ones. “You were always there for me, Junhee. Even if I’m this stubborn bastard, you always stuck out for me and when I found out that Yuchun likes you, I felt jealousy without even knowing that I was falling for you. I was jealous for something more than friendship.”

Removing my hand slowly off over his half-opened mouth, he started to let out a slightly nervous-sounding giggle, playfully tapping my shoulder repeatedly, “Ya, did the alcohol get to you already? I’ll get some painkillers just in case.”

I frantically stood up as well after seeing him head out to the door, grabbing his shoulders and making him turn to face me. “Junhee-ah! I haven’t had a single drop of alcohol because I wanted my confession to come from my heart.” I told him in a slightly loud manner, almost bursting into tears this time.

“But… Siwo – “

“I already told you that we’ve moved on and now, I want you to know that I do love you.”

A tear fell from my eye after I spoke with a slight crack in my voice, staring deeply into his eyes. I wanted Junhee to know that I do love him and that I am telling him the truth. My hands on his shoulders slid slowly to his back, pulling him in for a hug and I rested my head on his shoulder.

Junhee started to whisper in reply, hearing soft sniffles from him as well and his arms slowly wrapping themselves around me, “You don’t know how happy I’m feeling right now, Yunjae… You really are a stubborn bastard.”

I let out a chuckle, slowly rubbing his back, “I guess you like stubborn bastards, considering that you fell for one.”

“I guess, but he has a good heart so that’s all right with me.” He chuckled as well as the side of his face leaned against my chest.

I felt warm. I felt complete. I felt infinite. I guess this usually happens when you find the one you’re looking for. 

After hugging for quite sometime, Junhee was the first to pull away, staring up at me with wet but loving eyes. “Can I confess too?” He asked.

“Since we’re already here, go ahead.” I replied with a smirk.

“All right…” He took a deep breath while looking upwards and then glanced back at me with flushed cheeks.

“Hm?”

“Remember when you got drunk and I helped you get into your bed not long ago?”

“A bit, why?”

Junhee looked down again, hugging his shoulders as he continued to speak with a softer tone of voice, “Well, something happened… You were drunk and you gave me a kiss. You were my first kiss, Yunjae.”

Ah, now I remember. I thought that I was dreaming or having drunken hallucinations back then, but I guess I really did kiss him in reality. I was actually dreaming about how it would be if I didn’t take his confession during our high school years as a joke, that we were actually together and I playfully gave him a kiss since he wouldn’t cook me ramyeon or something like that.

“Daebak… I guess it wasn’t all in my head after all.” I exhaled with an amused look on my face, nodding as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“You’re not angry?” He uttered curiously, looking up at me shyly.

“Why would I be? Besides, I was the one who did it and admit it, I was good right?” I told him in a teasing manner, winking as I leaned closer to his face.

Reacting to my actions, he swiftly backed off, flustered. “It was light. That’s all I could say.” He heavily breathed out, clearing his throat after, glancing at the floor and then at me.

That’s cute. Junhee was obviously flustered and I really find it cute. I stepped in closer and placed my hand onto his head, speaking with a smile, “Aissh, I guess I didn’t do really well, huh? Want to try again?”

He responded with silence, only blinking more than once as he stared at me.

“I’d take that as a yes then.” I sighed and then, placing the hand on his head onto his warm cheek and the other one grabbed his hand slowly and intertwined with each other right after.

I closed my eyes and leaned toward him, making him slowly close his eyes as well. It wasn’t long ‘til my lips were already against his. They were soft and they had this sweet feeling as I tilted my head to make it a bit deeper. I’m guessing that he’s enjoying it, considering that his lips were in tune with mine. Trying to a bit, I started to his bottom lip and he gave way after giving off a gentle laugh with his other hand grabbing onto the cloth around my chest.

Our tongues were already fighting for dominace the moment they meet. Obviously, I was letting him win at first to , but later on, I showed some force which made him let out this moan escape his mouth, making me feel .

But before we could go on, we both heard foot steps drawing near and we immediately broke off our soon-to-be-makeout-session after hearing a knock on the door. I sat on my bed while Junhee anxiously went to the mirror, pretending to fix his hair with his hands. The door opened and there he stood, only letting his head peek in the room.

“Sorry for interrupting to whatever you two are talking about, but Hakchan and Yoojung will leave in a bit, so come down, all right?”

“Sure, we’ll be there in a second and oh, I’ll be saying a few things before any one of them leave.” I replied to my hyung with a nod, feeling determined that I really should tell everyone the truth.

“Arasseo.” Taewoong hyung said to us, closing the door right after.

I looked over at the flushed-looking Junhee and said while I stood up, “We should tell them. I don’t care what happens. I just really want them to know.”

He responded with a heavy sigh, looking a bit distressed as he met my gaze, “I know, but – “

“Ya, don’t worry. I’m here, we can do it together.” I comforted, walking to him and grabbing his hand, giving it a light squeeze for encouragement while I smiled at him.

Junhee smiled back, telling me while he squeezed back in a lighter manner, “All right. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

I went ahead of him, going out of the room before him. There’s no turning back now. We had to do this.

Arriving downstairs, the guys were all sitting in their places in the living room except for Hakchan and Yoojung since they’ll be leaving soon. All their eyes were on us as we entered the living room.

“Hakchan-ah, can you and Yoojung sit for a while?” I asked him as Junhee stood by the living room’s entry, looking at me with anxious yet hopeful eyes upon quickly glancing at him and then back the guys.

“Ah, sure.” Hakchan replied nodding, grabbing Yoojung’s hand and pulling her along with him as they sat back onto the couch.

I exhaled heavily, noticing Siwon who was giving me a quick thumb’s up. “I told my brother that I’d speak with you all. As my friends, I want you all to know something.”  

I glanced at my hyung, who looked a bit worried as he gave me an uplifting smile for encouragement. I truthfully told him about it earlier this evening while everyone was busy chatting with the others. 

~~

“Hyung, can I talk to you about something?” I asked in a serious manner.

Taewoong hyung blinked twice, staring back at me with curiosity, “Sure you can. What is it?”

I told him, praying that he’d understand me as someone who cares for another, as his brother, “It’s something I’ve been keeping in and I really want to tell you first before some of the guys here.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“It’s not that simple, hyung. I don’t want you to feel ashamed or angry because of me after I tell you.”

He raised his eyebrow, placing the bottle of soju back on the table in front of us, uttering, “Come on now, and tell me, you won’t know until you try.”

I tightly held my hands together, softly speaking to my brother’s ear in a shaky manner, “I’m in love with Junhee, hyung.”

Leaning away from him, seeing his face looking quite surprised and concerned, I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts to scold or beat me up in the middle of our celebration.

“It’s okay, hyung. You can beat me up if you want to and I’m sorry if you think that I made you feel ashamed of me as your brother, but I am serious about this.” I continued to speak with a light smile on my face, looking into his eyes, adding with a slight chuckle as I looked down at my hands, “I never thought that I’d fall for him. I had this realization that I’m feeling something more than friendship towards him that I couldn’t really fully explain.”

“Does he love you back?”

I quickly looked back at him, blinking a couple of times after hearing his question. “I’ll find that out… What?”

“I’m asking if his feelings for you are mutual. As your brother, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” Taewoong hyung sighed quite heavily at me, but placed his hand onto my shoulder right after. “I’m glad that you told me. What kind of hyung would I be if I wouldn’t help my brother out, right?” He added, grinning while patting my shoulder.

“You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be? I got your back, so don’t worry, all right?”

I felt like crying, seeing that my brother accepted me for who I am and to who I am in love with. “Hyung, I – “

“Yunjae, now’s your chance. He just went upstairs.” My hyung interrupted, pointing at the direction to where Junhee walked off to in a quiet manner.

I nodded after seeing and stood up, telling him with a grateful smile before I started to walk away from him, “I… I really am sorry, hyung but thank you so much.”

“Aissh, no need to be sorry and go, it’s now or never.” He said with a nod.

Giving one last smile, I walked off and waited by my room in front of the bathroom door.

~~

Remembering my hyung’s words a while ago, I felt braver. Also with Junhee right there with me, I know we can face our friends with the truth. I glanced at all of them again, speaking solemnly but is loud enough for all of them to hear, “This is not easy for me to confess to you as I don’t want you all to think of me as an outcast, but knowing that you are my friends, I think I can.”

I heard Junhee utter softly from behind me, “Yunjae-ah…“

I continued to talk to them, watching their faces filled with curiosity and anxiety at the same time, well this goes mostly to Hakchan and Sungjae, but my hyung, Siwon, Yoojung, and especially Junhee made the atmosphere quite heavy with their concern and support.

“I’m in love with my best friend, Kang Junhee.”

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( > v < )

Hey~~ Well, I finished making my school report and managed to squeeze in an update… I’m feeling a bit down that this will end soon, but I am thankful that you guise like this fic even though I’m still getting the hang of writing especially a kind since this is my 1^st one.

I hope you continue reading ‘til the end and please do leave your thoughts about the story and love y’all~ <3 :D