"01; Bleeding Heart"

Title: Bleeding Heart

Pairing: TaeNySic

Genre: Angst/Drama

In love.

That was how she defined her own self.

Taeyeon always believed that she was in love, scratch that, crazily in love with a certain girl.

That certain girl turns out to be one of her own youngsters, aka her own members.

Since Taeyeon was appointed as the leader, she's been given a lot more responsibilities to look after the eight other girls that were at the same route in life as hers. 

In being a leader, favoritism was not an option.

Taeyeon knew and does look at each of her members equally, but there was this one certain member that captures her heart and attention the most.

The very member who managed to grasp Taeyeon's heart without any guilt.

"Tiffany Hwang," Taeyeon murmurs slurrily as she wiggled the bottle of soju in her hand. 

It was already around 11pm that night, and all the other members were just snoring away to their best.

On the other hand leader Taeyeon was just being her drunk self at that time. She thought that maybe drinking would help in decreasing her problems.

Well it didn't, but Taeyeon yearned for the taste of alcohol.

She slouched against the kitchen counter, her mind spinning a little as she gulped down another alcoholic liquid down . 

Even if hiccups started to attack her, she still didn't stop. 

"Tiffany Hwang," For the tenth time she whispered that name, smiling from ear to ear like a total madman. She was definitely out of her mind, but saying out that name still causes her heart to flutter.

With her one hand grasping the bottle, the other one picked up the wooden picture frame laying on top of the counter. Although drunk, Taeyeon manage to squint her eyes to get a better view of the two people smiling at the photo.

Taeyeon mirrored back the smile she wore in the picture. The only difference was that the smile she was having now holds a lot more pain than ever.

She then recalls the number one reason why she's drinking in the first place.

Tiffany Hwang, yes that name again.

For the fans, it might be a real dream come true for SNSD's oldest couple to be real. 

It wasn't only the fans' dream, it was also Taeyeon's own ambitious dream.

She wanted nothing but to have a real real relationship with her beloved Tiffany Hwang.

Ever since that Korean-American girl stepped into her life while they were just giddy and naive young trainees of SM, Taeyeon's world turned upside down.

That girl had brought a whole new light in her life.

They became close, they became bestfriends, and eventually they debuted in the same group.

Taeyeon couldn't be any happier at that time.

The more time she spent with Tiffany, the more her romantic feelings started to grow and develop.

At first Taeyeon wanted it to stop. She wanted it to end.

But eventually she gave in and she couldn't control herself anymore. It was as if her heart had a mind of its own.

She accepted the fact that she was madly, crazily in love with a girl whom she believed would reciprocate her own feelings.

Taeyeon waited, she waited for years which seemed like an eternity to her. She waited for the right moment to open up and confess to the girl her heart has been yearning for.

When the 'right' time came, Taeyeon's confession ended up with a wrong outcome.

Rejection.

That was what Taeyeon had received.

She expected it, but she did not anticipate it to be that painful.

Tiffany rejected her in the most gentle way that she could have done, but it didn't matter. Taeyeon's heart shattered into a million pieces anyway.

No matter how, Taeyeon still fought the pain away and still continued to love her.

No matter how much difficult it was, Taeyeon kept on struggling to make Tiffany feel that she'll always be there to love and care for her.

No matter how many times Tiffany said 'no', Taeyeon still flashed that signature dorky smiles of hers and still whispered those three words 'I love you' against Tiffany's ear whenever she'd end up sleeping in Taeyeon's arms.

For Taeyeon, it was okay even if she had to wait for another century, for another eternity for Tiffany to accept her.

She believed that somewhere deep inside that eye-smiling girl's heart, there was some small space reserved for her.

Taeyeon still entrusted her whole heart to that girl.

Even if her heart already got scars and bruises, due to Tiffany's carelessness.

Taeyeon still remains and believes.

But the time came that everything became different.

It was still okay even if Tiffany rejected Taeyeon. It was still okay even if things became rather awkward for the two of them. It was okay even if Taeyeon had to bear with Tiffany's ignorance upon her own feelings.

But it wasn't okay when Tiffany started dating men.

It wasn't okay when Tiffany started seeing several guys every week, just as if she's changing into a new pile of clothes every day.

It wasn't okay when Tiffany started bringing men into her room.

It wasn't okay when Tiffany started to be indifferent towards Taeyeon.

It wasn't okay when Tiffany started to take advantage of Taeyeon's feelings, using Taeyeon for her own past time or pleasure whenever she's got nothing to do.

It used to be okay when Taeyeon's heart only had scars and bruises.

But now it already bore holes that were too deep to mend.

Crazily in love?

More like terribly regretting.

Taeyeon regrets the very day she met that girl.

She regrets the very moment she fell for her.

She regrets swearing to wait for her for even an eternity. 

And most important of all, Taeyeon regretted stupidly handing her fragile heart over to someone who wasn't deserving enough to take care of it.

"Argh!"

Taeyeon threw the picture frame away and it was sent flying across the room. 

Her heart which was once filled with tender love and affection was now replaced with anger and regret.

She grabbed the bottle and smashed it against the tiled floor.

She tried to get up from the stool she was sitting on but since she was drunk and out of herself, she lost her balance and fell to the ground. 

One of her fingers slashed against the broken pieces of the bottle and it bled terribly. 

But the pain couldn't even match up to the pain her heart was having.

Taeyeon was tired. She had enough of it.

She curled up herself into a ball, and softly cried her heart out. 

Warm tears poured out from her tired eyes, and no one was there to comfort her. 

Unless..

"What's going on--Taengoo? Oh my gosh!"

Taeyeon seemed to hear another voice but she was too stuck up with her crying to even give it any attention.

It was then she felt a warm hand rest against her shoulder.

"Taengoo.."

Taeyeon slowly lifted up her head and was greeted by a warm pair of deep set eyes that were much filled with worry and it reflected the same amount of pain she was having in her own.

"Taeyeon, come on, I'll help you up." Taeyeon allowed her trembling self to be lifted off the ground. She sat on the stool and stared at the other girl who started sweeping off the broken glasses scattered all over the floor.

"I'll get something for you. Just be a good girl and wait here."

Taeyeon's mind was still in a state of confusion, but she nodded anyway. Once she stopped crying, she finally took notice of the red liquid that appears to be flowing from her finger. 

She nearly flinched when a hand suddenly grabbed hers and applied cotton on her finger's wound.

She looked up and saw one of her members, the same one who picked her up from the ground a while ago.

"S-Sica?" Taeyeon's vision was kind of blurry, but she was sure enough that it was the ice princess standing before her.

"Hold still." Came out Jessica's stern voice. She continued to wipe off the blood using the wet cotton that would cause Taeyeon to wince every once in a while.

Finally, Jessica blew on the wound before wrapping it with a hello-kitty designed bandage. 

Their eyes met and Jessica flashed a warm gentle smile. 

"Drink up you drunkard," The younger girl ordered as she handed a glass of water towards the older one.

The leader gulped down the refreshing beverage and eventually became sober.

"What happened Sica--" Taeyeon tried to explain but the younger girl cut her off.

"It's okay, you're tired. Have some rest and tomorrow, we'll talk alright?" Jessica asked with an assuring smile.

Taeyeon nodded and mirrored back the same smile. Jessica then assisted Taeyeon in getting into her bedroom, and then she tucked the older girl under the thick comforter.

"Goodnight Taengoo." Jessica planted a soft peck on Taeyeon's head before turning around to leave.

But Jessica paused in her tracks once a hand gripped tightly onto her wrist. She turned around and saw the leader looking at her with eyes half-closed.

"Please.." Taeyeon said out breathlessly. "Don't leave me."

Jessica's face softened at the sudden plea. She smiled and knelt besides the bed.

"Alright then. I won't leave your side." Jessica said softly. She reached out for Taeyeon's hand and held it in hers. Their fingers automatically interwined and Jessica felt her heart beating a little faster.

"I won't ever let you out of my sight again Taengoo." Jessica stated with her eyes stinging with tears, worry and pain filling her heart as she was witnessing Taeyeon's situation right now. 

But Taeyeon's own words surprised her.

"Then don't ever let me out of your sight again Sica. Don't let ever me wander around again and give my heart to the wrong person." Taeyeon whispered softly as she squeezed the younger girl's hand before slowly drifting off to sleep with a small smile on her face.

Taeyeon knew well how much Jessica loved her. 

What Tiffany did to her, was like what she did to Jessica.

Jessica did nothing but to show Taeyeon how much she loves her, how much she'd be willing to sacrifice anything for the older girl.

But Taeyeon remained to be blind just because she was stupidly in love with another.

Jessica loved her so much to the point that she let Taeyeon go because she was aware of how much Taeyeon was in love with a certain other.

Now Taeyeon regrets everything and wants to start anew.

She did not only thank Jessica for stopping the bleeding of her finger, but also for healing her bleeding heart.

---

A/N: First one-shot! And it's angst lol (what a nice choice of mine) I'm sorry I made Tiffany have such a bad character here. :( Oh well, I hope you guys like it anyway. It's my first written one! :))

Can you tell me what you think about it?