Sunggyu didn't stop running even as he felt his breathe begin to shorten from the strain. Sunggyu was fit but Woohyun was far more athletic than him and could easily beat him in a fair running race and this was definitely not a fair running race. The boy had gotten a large head start, running faster than Sunggyu had ever seen him run. It wasn't entirely surprising though, considering what the younger boy must be feeling right now. He mentally cursed himself for his stupidity; what had he expected to happen?! He needed to listen to Dongwoo more! When it came to matters about Woohyun these days, Dongwoo was hardly ever wrong.

It's not true Woohyun! You've got it wrong! Sunggyu thought, trying to somehow telepathically convey it to the other man who was so far ahead of him. He knew it was a stupid thing to do but he just wanted Woohyun to know the truth so desperately. He couldn't stop seeing the look on Woohyun's face before he turned and ran. He'd looked so broken, like his heart had been shattered. He'd looked...dead.

Just the thought of it made his heart hurt and the contricting feeling in his chest did not help him to run. He hoped that Woohyun would stop running at some point soon because if he didn't, Sunggyu could not be sure he was going to be able to ever catch up with him. The rain was getting heavier and heavier by the minute and Sunggyu could feel himself getting soaked but he was not as much concerned for himself as he was Woohyun. Woohyun hardly ever dressed for the weather, almost always underdressed. When the weather got hot he was fine, but in the colder months, Sunggyu was constantly having to remind the younger boy to grab a coat. The bitter air of the night was not helping anything either, as it chilled the rain to an icy temperature. Sunggyu could hardly feel his face or hands anymore, and so he thought that the sobs must have been his own.

Then he noticed the figure on the path ahead of him.

Woohyun was curled up on his side, soaked to the bone and shivering uncontrollably. Mud was all through his hair and all over his clothes and Sunggyu was sure that the side he was lying on must now be completely coated in mud. But all of this concerned Sunggyu less than the sound the boy was making. He'd never heard Woohyun cry like that and he hoped he'd never have to hear it again. The sound was so broken and painful that for a minute Sunggyu couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He just stood there and all he could think was I did this to him. He's crying like that because of me. 

He pulled out his phone and got up Dongwoo's number, ready to call him and ask him to come pick Woohyun up; maybe it was best that Woohyun didn't see him right now. 

But he suddenly realised that Woohyun was speaking and he walked closer to hear what he was saying. The boy didn't seem to be aware that he was speaking out loud but then again, Sunggyu couldn't be sure that Woohyun was aware of anything right now. When he was finally close enough to hear what the younger was saying he stopped.

"You never deserved someone like Sunggyu anyway."

Sunggyu was unable to breathe.

"He's so talented and kind. Why couldn't you have just been satisfied with his friendship?"

He couldn't move.

"You're so greedy. Look at you."

His chest felt like someone was squeezing it with all of their strength.

"You deserve this."

He felt like someone had punched him. He felt like he was being beaten to death. Yet the one crying, the one in the most pain, was the boy lying on the ground in front of him.

"It's all your own fault."

Finally Sunggyu moved and without thinking about anything, he pulled the boy against his chest, sitting behind him with his legs on either side of the boy, trying to hold him as close to him as possible. He felt Woohyun tense up, as if he was ready to fight him off but then, as quickly as it had come, he felt the will to fight drain from the boy and instead his head fell back against his shoulder. Sunggyu felt his icy face press against his neck.

"I'm so sorry Gyu."

Woohyun's broken apology made Sunggyu tighten his hold on the boy further but he couldn't respond. He didn't know how. What could he say to make things better? He should be the one apologising, not Woohyun! 

He could feel the younger falling asleep but he didn't mind. It was probably better that the boy slept for a bit. He was comfortable anyway (except for the mud and rain but they couldn't be helped) and so he figured that they could afford to sit there for a few minutes and then Sunggyu could call for someone to pick them up.

Sunggyu had known that Woohyun wasn't really okay. He'd known why Hoya was sending him away last night and he'd noticed the way Woohyun had looked when he and Dongwoo had come back. He could tell that Woohyun sometimes found it hard to be around him.

But then sometimes everything seemed so easy. Sometimes Woohyun seemed completely at ease with him. He seemed so cheerful to him. He seemed almost exactly as he used to be.

But only almost.

But it had been those positive moments that had made Sunggyu complacent. He'd convinced himself that it was all okay, that although Woohyun found it hard, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, Woohyun would tell him. 

It was only now that he realised how wrong he was.

It had never occurred to Sunggyu that Woohyun blamed himself and even worse, that Woohyun hated himself for how he felt. A lot of other things had crossed Sunggyu's mind but that was not something that had. No one could be blamed for this but if blame really had to fall it would not fall on Woohyun. Woohyun had never done anything wrong.

Sunggyu looked down at the boy in his arms. God he wished he could protect him, protect him from everything that was happening, protect him from his thoughts, protect him from his feelings, but it wasn't possible or if it was, Sunggyu had no idea how.

The rain had lessened, no longer pouring down but still a steady fall. He felt Woohyun shiver in his sleep and he decided that it was a good time to head back. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and was about to call Dongwoo when he stopped. It occurred to him that unless he worked hard to prevent it, Woohyun would avoid him like the plague when he woke up and calling Dongwoo would only help the boy to do so.

He knew it was selfish but he put his phone away and picked the younger boy up, carrying him in his arms with his head against his chest. He tried to hold him as close as possible as he tried to gather their bearings. 

Luckily, even though the shopping area was small it still gave enough light for Sunggyu to get an idea of where they were. He estimated that they were probably about fifteen minutes away from the house and that they would need to walk a couple of blocks to get there. Woohyun was not too heavy but Sunggyu still hoped that the house was only as far away as he thought it was.

Sunggyu began to walk and after awhile he glanced down at the boy in his arms. He hadn't seen Woohyun look so peaceful in a long time. He knew it was probably just pure exhaustion that was causing him to look so peaceful but Sunggyu hoped that he was having some nice dreams. If reality was being unkind to the younger he hoped that at least his dreams were kind.

The house had come into view just as he felt Woohyun stir in his arms. He continued walking, figuring the boy was still asleep.

"Uh, Gyu, you can put me down, I'll walk the rest of the way." 

Sunggyu looked down in surprise to see Woohyun looking up at him. The boy still looked sleepy and his eyes were only half open as they looked up at him.

"I don't mind Woo, I can carry you the rest of the way if you don't feel good." Sunggyu heard the concern in his on voice and cursed himself for it when he saw the guilt in Woohyun's eyes.

"I'm fine, let me walk." Woohyun smiled and Sunggyu had never seen the boy smile so fakely in his life. 

Sunggyu didn't want to put him down, he wanted to hold the boy forever, or at least until he could properly smile again, but he could tell that being carried was only making Woohyun feel guiltier and so he set him down.

He kept an arm around him under the pretense of helping him not to fall down but when Woohyun had stabilised himself he didn't move the arm away. Woohyun obviously noticed this and gave Sunggyu another smile to try and eleviate his concern. "I'm fine, you can move your arm now."

The smile made Sunggyu's heart hurt even more and he just ignored the boy, beginning to walk with his arm still wrapped around the younger's waist.

He couldn't help but glance over at the other vocal occasionally, constantly concerned about him. He knew Woohyun noticed and he also knew that he was purposefully avoiding his gaze. He hoped the younger was not blaming himself for all that had happened but he had a feeling that he was. Sunggyu decided to break the silence before they reached the house, hoping to get Woohyun to speak. He didn't know what to say so he settled on expressing his concerns for Woohyun's health and telling him what to do so as not to get sick.

"When we get there I want you to have a shower straight away, make it hot and stay in there until the hot water runs out, then dry and dress as fast as you can and get into bed. Hopefully you wont get too sick that way."

Sunggyu was disappointed when Woohyun only nodded, still avoiding looking at him. Then, suddenly, he spoke quitely.

"What about you though? You'll get sick too if you don't have a hot shower."

Sunggyu almost wanted to yell at him, to tell him to stop worrying about him and to worry about himself. But he knew that that wouldn't help anything. So instead he just tried to reassure the boy, "Don't worry about me. I'll have a quick shower in Hoya and Dongwoo's bathroom." He gave Woohyun's waist a squeeze to try to reaffirm his words.

Woohyun nodded again but didn't speak and Sunggyu couldn't help but feel almost angry. Things weren't meant to be like this, they were best friends, why did Woohyun have to be so hurt?! And why did it have to be his fault?! He wanted to tell him the truth about today, he wanted Woohyun to chat to him, he wanted everything to be okay!

But it wasn't.

And maybe it never would be.

When they finally reached the house, Sunggyu made a last ditch attempt at getting Woohyun to speak to him. He turned and faced the boy as he spoke, hoping to get him to look at him. 

"We're going to have to talk at some point Woo, for now just please go shower and dress like I asked you to. I really don't want you to get sick."  

Woohyun didn't look at him, only nodding and Sunggyu sighed. He unlocked the door and Woohyun rushed off to the room. Sunggyu was glad he was obeying his wishes but at the same time, he hated having Woohyun avoid him.

He stepped inside and closed the door as Dongwoo and Hoya immerged from the lounge room. They looked like they were struggling to decide whether they were happy or furious and had settled on concern.

Before they could speak though, Sunggyu interuppted. "I really need to use your bathroom to have like a minute shower. After that I promise to come to the lounge room and have a proper chat with you two, okay?"

Hoya looked like he was going to argue but Dongwoo stopped him and just nodded at the leader before heading back to the lounge room. 

Sunggyu went to his and Woohyun's room to grab some clothes to change into. Woohyun was already in the bathroom when he got there and Sunggyu was not sure if he was grateful or disappointed about that.

He gathered the first clothes he could find and headed to Dongwoo and Hoya's room. He could feel the chill beginning to settle in and he was shivering a bit and so he quickly undressed and got into the shower, turning the hot water on full and washing himself as quickly as possible. He needed to clean and warm himself but he also wanted to use as little hot water as possible so that Woohyun could have a much longer shower.

Once clean, he dried and dressed himself quickly and then he searched around for a plastic bag to put his clothes and towels in so that he could wash them tomorrow. When he was satisfied that he had cleaned up his stuff , he put it down in the corner of the bathroom and headed back out to the lounge room.

Dongwoo and Hoya were watching some drama on TV while they waited and Sunggyu was struck by the realisation that the two of them looked much more like boyfriends than they did friends. He dismissed the thought; that wasn't his business or concern right now.

He took a deep breathe and went and sat down on the other couch, so that he was sitting diagonal from the two. As soon as he sat down, Dongwoo turned the TV off and both of them turned so that they were sitting in a position that was directly facing him. Sunggyu braced himself for their responses, expecting (and deserving) to be yelled at.

"Are you okay?" Dongwoo's concerned question startled Sunggyu and it took him a minute to be able to respond.

"I...Yes." It wasn't entirely the truth but he figured it was the appropriate answer.

Dongwoo gave him a look that clearly said that he didn't believe him but before he could argue Hoya interupted.

"What about Woohyun?"

Sunggyu sighed, "honestly, I don't know. Bad I'd say." He paused for a moment and then he spoke again more softly, "a lot worse than I thought to be honest."

"I don't want to say I told you so, but I kind of did." Dongwoo told the leader, who nodded, averting his eyes.

Dongwoo sighed, "Even I didn't expect him to react that badly though. It's not really your fau-"

"Woohyun thinks it's his." Sunggyu interupted. He looked back up at the two rappers, "he was lying on the ground crying and saying how everything was his fault and he deserved to be in pain."

His voice cracked as he told them but he kept going, slowly feeling anger, at himself and at Woohyun, rising in his chest. "WHY does he think that?! What on EARTH made him think he DESERVES to be in that much pain?! He looked broken, he looked like he was DYING!! And his SOBS!"

Sunggyu had begun to yell,  "GOD HOW I HATED THE SOUND OF THOSE SOBS! WHY IS IT HIS FAULT?! WHY DOES HE THINK LIKE THAT?!"

Dongwoo and Hoya seemed to be frozen in shock but Sunggyu didn't care, he needed to get this out, "SHOULDN'T IT BE MY FAULT?! WHY DOESN'T HE HATE ME?! WHY DOES HE HATE HIMSELF?! I WAS SO IGNORANT OF THE PAIN THAT HE'S IN, I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE AND THERE HE WAS, SLOWLY DYING INSIDE! WHO AM I TO SAY I'M HIS BEST FRIEND WHEN I CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FORCED SMILES AND REAL ONES?! AND WHY THE  CAN'T I JUST DO WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM AND LET HIM GO?!"

Sunggyu could feel tears threatening to escape and he paused to try and compose himself and Hoya took the oppurtunity to interupt.

"It's not your fault either, the fact that you only feel platonic love for hi-"

"I don't know if I do." Sunggyu's response was almost inaudible but somehow Dongwoo and Hoya both still caught it.

"Wait, what?!" Hoya exclaimed. Dongwoo just stared at Sunggyu, seemingly in shock.

"What do you mean by that Sunggyu?" Dongwoo spoke slowly, sounding almost menacing.

Sunggyu looked up at the man. "I don't know how I feel about him."

"As in you think you might possibly like him the way he likes you?" 

Sunggyu stared at the rapper for a minute and then slowly nodded.

No one spoke for a moment and then Sunggyu spoke up again, "but I'm only seventy percent sure."

Hoya looked like he wanted to strangle the leader but refrained, "so, what you're saying is that you're seventy percent sure that you reciprocate his feelings but you're letting him think he has no chance in hell with you and beat himself up about it?!"

Dongwoo placed a hand on Hoya's leg, trying to calm the other rapper. "It's not completely stupid Hoya, I think I see where he's coming from."

Sunggyu looked at the rapper in surprise and Dongwoo just nodded, "the other thrity percent is too large to risk it for. You're worried that if you tell him and you turn out to be wrong, he'll be even worse than he is now. Am I right?"

Sunggyu's shocked expression grew even more so and he slowly nodded. 

Dongwoo sighed, "it would be best if we could find a way to make you sure. If you do reciprocate his feelings then it makes everything a lot easier."

Sunggyu nodded, " I know but I have no clue how to do that."

"I mean, ideally , it would be good if you could kiss him but that's too risky considering you'd be getting his hopes up by doing that." Dongwoo mused.

Hoya seemed deep in thought. "I think you need some time away from him. Like serious time away from him."

"Why?" Both Dongwoo and Sunggyu asked.

"Well, because it would be easier for you to work out what you feel without having him there to worry about. I think the fact that you're so worried about hurting him is probably most of the reason why you can't work out if you really do like him, am I right?"

Sunggyu chuckled softly, "now I see why Woohyun talks to you two about things, you're like mind readers!" He then paused to think over what Hoya had said. "How is it possible for me to get some serious time away from him though? Being in Infinite together makes that very hard and because I'm the leader I can hardly just take a week or two off, even under the pretense of sickness."

Hoya sighed, " yeah I know, I don't know how either. Sorry."

Sunggyu gave the rapper a smile, "it's okay, I appreciate you both trying to help. And I'm sorry that I've made everything so complicated."

Dongwoo shook his head, "don't you start blaming yourself either, that's as stupid as Woohyun blaming himself."

Sunggyu nodded and stood up. "I think I'll head back to the room now, I still need to explain to Woohyun why I was with that fan today and so I don't want him to fall asleep before I get back."

Dongwoo and Hoya both nodded and Dongwoo stood and gave Sunggyu a hug. 

"I'd be lying if I said that I don't hope that you reciprocate Woohyun's feelings but even if you don't, we stilllove you as a leader and a friend okay? We're here if you need us."

Sunggyu smiled, "thank you Dongwoo but I'd much rather that you looked out for Woohyun, I'll be alright but I'm not sure I can say the same for him."

Sunggyu was about to leave when Dongwoo stopped him one last time, "a bad best friend would never say something like that, don't ever forget all that you do for Woohyun."

Sunggyu just nodded and then he left to go chat to Woohyun.

As he opened the door he saw Woohyun pull the blankets over himself and took a deep breathe. A small part of him had hoped that the younger would already be asleep but that was just the coward in him. He walked over to Woohyun's bed and he could hear the boy's slow and steady breathing. If only Woohyun knew how he really sounded when he slept, then he'd realise how poorly he was doing at acting like he was asleep.

"I know you're not asleep Woo." Woohyun didn't move or respond, staying exactly as he was. Maybe I should just go to bed and talk to him in the morning. Sunggyu contemplated the idea and then shook his head to himself. If he didn't do it now, he'd never do it. Woohyun needed to know the truth as soon as possible.

He sttod there for a minute longer, trying to work out whether just to speak to the boy and hope he was listening or to actually force him to respond to him. 

In the end, it was the cold air of the room that made the decision for him and he lifted up Woohyun's blankets and laid down on the bed, facing the younger boy. He saw Woohyun open his eyes in surprise and Sunggyu couldn't help but smile, "So you are awake." 

He saw a blush creep across Woohyun's cheeks and he resisted the urge to tease the younger about it. He was a little lost for words anyway, if he was being honest; he hadn't considered the intimate nature of his actions and although there was a fair gap between the two men, Sunggyu couldn't deny the he was acutely aware of the close proximity of the younger boy. He thought of how he'd held him earlier, with Woohyun against his chest both times, and he kind of wished he could cuddle the boy again.

Now was not the time for him to be thinking about this. He needed to clear things up with Woohyun first.

"How was your day with Key?" Sunggyu tried to get Woohyun to speak with a question he couldn't just nod to.

"It was good." Sunggyu heard Woohyun's voice crack and wondered whether it was from earlier or if something had happened with Key, even before he'd seen him and the fan together. Sunggyu felt a sinking feeling in his chest as he realised that today may have been an even ter day for Woohyun than he'd first imagined.

"Did something happen?" "No" even to Sunggyu, it sounded like a lie and the fact that Wohyun had closed his eyes made him even more sure that the boy was lying to him. He was trying to decide whether or not to push the matter first or explain himself first when Woohyun opened his eyes again, seemingly hoping that the other had fallen asleep. When he saw that he was not asleep he averted his eyes.

He can't even look you in the eye, explain yourself first.

"How about you tell me what happened with Key after I explain myself?" Woohyun continued to look away and stay silent. Sunggyu figured he wasn't going to respond so he just decided to continue.

"She's a fan and because it's such a small town I offered to spend the day with her because she seemed quite genuinely down and I thought it'd be a nice thing to do, especially since normally it couldn’t be possible as other people would demand the same." He paused to see if Woohyun had anything to say and when the younger male said nothing he continued. "I don't feel anything for her. She was a nice fan but nothing else. I'm sorry for giving you the wrong idea and for making you so upset, I really didn't intend to but even so, I really am so sorry."

Sunggyu felt like he'd rushed to get that out but he hoped that it made sense. He didn't want any more misunderstanding between them. Sunggyu was glad when Woohyun finally looked at him and his eyes seemed to have softened slightly as he shook his head at the leader, "Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong."

Niether did you. Sunggyu was almost going to tell Woohyun what he'd heard and all that he knew and to tell the boy to stop beating himself up so much, but then he remembered that he didn't know exactly how bad today had been for Woohyun and he decided not to push it.

"What happened with Key?" 

Sunggyu's heart sunk when Woohyun looked away and lied to him, his "nothing" clearly not being the truth. He felt the need to comfort the boy and without thinking much about it, he felt his hand comeup to the side of the younger's face. Woohyun opened his eyes for a moment before closing them again. Sunggyu heard his breathing slow to a more calm pace and after a minute he spoke again.

"Key and I discussed a lot of things and he suggested that maybe something was the case and I don't really want it to be but I think it may be." Woohyun blurted the words out in a rush of air and Sunggyu could feel him tensing up again. He continued to the boy's face, hoping to keep him calm.

"What did he suggest?"

It took Woohyun longer to respond this time but Sunggyu knew he would. Once Woohyun had began to talk about something, he would always finish. It just took longer sometimes than other times. While Sunggyu waited for the boy to muster up the courage to tell him whatever it was, he took in his features. Woohyun was keeping his eyes closed and so he wasn't aware of Sunggyu's gaze, tracing over his face. Woohyun was a very handsome man, but he always had been. Even in their early days, when he had cheeks chubbier than Sunggyu's own, Sunggyu had thought Woohyun was the most attractive person he'd ever seen. But does that mean I'm attracted to him?

He was broken out of his thoughts by Woohyun taking a deep breathe and then, he finally told Sunggyu what it was that they had discussed. "That I'm in love with you."

Sunggyu purposefully didn't react but he was a little taken a back. How had that come up? 

"What made him think that?" he asked, trying to fill in the remaining blanks, his hand still Woohyun's face in an effort to keep him calm.

"I-" Woohyun faltered. "It's just that. That I find it harder than before to be around you without wanting to do....romantic things with you. He thinks that it might be because my feelings have grown from a crush into love." 

Sunggyu was still processing what had been said when Woohyun blurted out the last bombshell.

"And I think he might be right."

Sunggyu stopped his face without thinking about it. He was surprised. And he was also trying to remember if Woohyun had ever told him about a first love. He thought through the conversations they'd had, the stories they'd told each other, but he couldn't remember Woohyun ever telling him about a first love.

. Sunggyu panicked internally for a moment. I'm his first love. . After all I've done to him, the pain I've caused, he's fallen in love with me. .

"I'm so sorry Woohyun." The words were out of his mouth before he realised it and suddenly Woohyun was sobbing. Sunggyu pulled the boy into a hug, hating the fact that he had made him cry yet again. He rubbed circles on his back, hoping the boy would calm down enough to sleep. 

"Please don't cry Woo," he whispered, "just sleep. I'll be right here in the morning, I promise." 

At his words, he felt Woohyun snuggle a little closer into him, his sobbing ceasing slightly. Sunggyu wished he could tell the boy that he wasn't rejecting his feelings, that maybe he could like him back, he just wasn't sure right now. He was just a little scared by the fact that Woohyun thought so much of him and actually loved him. That he'd taken away his first love.

But instead, all he said was "sleep peacefully Woohyun, I'm so sorry for everything."

And then the two of them slept.

A/N I'm so terrible at endings, someone teach me how to write endings....T_T

Did you guys all follow what was going on??? So I basically did the last chapter but from Sunggyu's perspective~ I hope it wasn't too repetitive, it took me aggggeeeessss to write! @_@

So yes, the overwhelming majority of you voted for having some of Sunggyu's point of view which I was actually really happy with because that was what i had been thinking of doing anyway! So you guys chose well! haha ^_^

I need to stop writing such long chapters, you guys are going to start expecting them >_>

Anyway! I hope you all enjoyed it! And give me some comments!

I love you all!! <333333333333333