Sat on the edge of his bed Seunghyun watched as flickers of lights danced along the floor, trying to slip past the closed curtains. He intently watched the glimmers merge together into little reflections of sunshine then separate two seconds later and all the while furthering their journey along his floorboards on their own. Fascination caused his eyes to follow their trails, the little remnants of sparkling light, and he wondered how strange it was to watch these little forms seamlessly fall apart then splash back together as if it was natural, as if it was just natural to fall apart.

Seunghyun found this natural occurrence annoying, how could it be so easy to carry on as if nothing had ever happened?

That’s when he noticed just how he was projecting his own thoughts onto these tiny little lights. It was he who couldn’t find the easiness in moving on and ultimately that was his fault. A little scratch at the bedroom door signalled that Seunghyun was no longer alone but today, just for today, he didn’t ignore the noise. Instead he crept up from his bed over to the door and opened it allowing the little fluffy spawn of Satan to enter his bedroom.

“What are you doing in here?” Seunghyun’s voice barely asked the question as he peeked out into the hallway, silence only greeting his ears. “Bom?” He called once he realised that the dog was now jumping all over his unmade bed. Bom merely let out a whine in reply causing Seunghyun to sigh. “Has everyone gone out?” Bom looked up at Seunghyun and let out a little bark but it wasn’t her usual threatening bark. He closed the door and climbed up onto his bed next to her, though she must’ve of anticipated this because a second later she was making herself at home on Seunghyun’s stomach. “I bet it’s quite lonely being stuck in here and no one’s home” He sighed again and reluctantly patted the dog’s head. Bom wiggled about a bit utterly content before lying flat on Seunghyun and aiming her eyes directly at him, he poked her little button nose.

Bom nudged said nose against Seunghyun’s flat palm which now lay in the small gap between his neck and Bom, it was as if she was replying to him but he laughed. “You’re just a dog” Seunghyun rolled his eyes and leaned back against his pillows. Although Bom persisted on, still nudging his hand with her wet nose, forcing Seunghyun to sit up a little and watch her. “Ah I’m not that important” He shrugged “You wouldn’t like me” At the sound of his low voice Bom stopped nudging Seunghyun and tilted her head, she looked as if she was listening. “Don’t look at me like that” He tried to smile at her but she remained blank, her puppy eyes only growing bigger. “I wonder where everyone is” Seunghyun thought out loud still looking at Bom as if he was talking to her. She wiggled her head again and nuzzled up to Seunghyun’s hand, a second later her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep as if she didn’t care. “Just great…” He mumbled feeling the dog’s breaths calm into a deep sigh which tickled at the curve of his hand.

After a while both Seunghyun and Bom’s breaths were in sync and Seunghyun could even feel himself ready to join her in sleep. Though, to be honest, he hadn’t been awake long and actually he’d been trying to psyche himself up to leave his room. Well that wasn’t going to happen now was it?

For now it was of no concern to Seunghyun and his mind wandered back to yesterday’s events. He thought about meeting Bae and what he’d been told then he speculated about what Jiyong would be up to, obviously on a Monday morning he’d be working. He wondered if Jiyong ever thought of him, if he just ever flittered through Jiyong’s mind: Would they be good thoughts or not so much?

After their rooftop kiss Jiyong had led Seunghyun back into the apartment and made him a small lunch, despite the fact that they couldn’t spend the rest of the day together because Jiyong had to go back to work. So afterwards Seunghyun spent the rest of the day with Bae, battling through a ton of racetracks in flashy cars which he had never heard of. Of course this was all on a game console but neither Seunghyun nor Bae cared. It was time to just play and forgot about everything, thus by the end of the day Seunghyun had made a new friend and Bae’s anger had completely fizzled down.

Mihyun and Daesung returned just as Jiyong showed up and when the three persons made their way into the apartment Seunghyun and Bae decided to scare them senseless by jumping them via Bae’s already open door. When the group were settled inside the apartment they barely spoke about the night before and Seunghyun felt relieved when Mihyun said that she couldn’t remember much, if anything at all. Finally the day ended when Seunghyun proposed that they go home because Jiyong kept falling asleep on him and he hated how worn out the poor guy looked, Mihyun completely agreed. They thanked the three roommates for their generous hospitality and Mihyun gave Daesung a brief kiss before Seunghyun did the same (rather nervously) to Jiyong, Bae protested so both Seunghyun and Mihyun gave him a light peck on the cheek causing everyone to laugh. As the Choi siblings readied themselves to leave the apartment block Jiyong ran up behind them and launched himself into Seunghyun’s arms before adding

“As soon as I get some time off work we’ll do something so check your phone!”

So Seunghyun checked his phone, going through all of Jiyong’s old messages, and without realising he kept it on him at all times.

And now, now that the effects of Saturday night had worn off, Seunghyun could recall everything as if his life was suddenly in High Definition. He remembered confessing to Jiyong, both on the dance floor and on the balcony, and then he recalled everything right up ‘til now. Whilst Seunghyun’s mind caught up with the rest of him he felt awfully tired, words echoed around his head like broken trails of thought and he wondered if he’d rushed into this. He worried that maybe, just maybe Jiyong was trying to ward him off, trying to escape the pain of being hurt and through Seunghyun shunning him on the rooftop, well he’d hoped he hadn’t forced Jiyong into anything that he didn’t want to be a part of.

“It’s not your fault Seunghyun you’re not a doctor so there was nothing you could do…And as for Jinju you need to tell everyone the truth, you’re not weak, you’re a decent polite human being and you should be treated as such. She can’t treat you like that, it’s vile and she needs to face up to the truth…You can’t live like this anymore, it’s tearing you up inside and your Ma is your Ma, she’ll understand your motives I’m sure.”

How could Seunghyun ever begin to tell the truth? To tell his Ma that he’d-he’d

Seunghyun realised just how deep the lie ran, it was as if the very thing was seeped into his veins becoming a vital part of him. Would telling truth make anything better? Sure it would clear his own conscience but what about his Ma? It would kill her to know, to know that the only man in her life was a liar and a feeble one at that. Perhaps it was better to keep the pain exclusive? Buried deep within his body rather than just cause her further upset. It was fine for Jiyong to say something so easy like that, to make the answer seem so definite and perfect but that wouldn’t work, Seunghyun just knew it wouldn’t. Nothing would ever be enough to settle that dull ache, that constant nagging at the back of his mind, the thoughts of worthlessness and desperation. Rewinding a few months back to that night, the sinking realisation that the only person he could ever talk to was no longer here, gone like an unanticipated change in the season, a downpour of rain and bitterness, everything gone.

Leaving Seunghyun behind to pick up the pieces, to start again, to try again. With the constant reminder of a life gone too soon and a body left behind, a vast black hole left in the wake of what was supposed to be a soul. But that emptiness, that black hole, felt something and a little pitter-patter of light danced through the darkness. Little trails of Jiyong; his laughter, smile and expressive eyes, they called to Seunghyun like a soft lullaby. Someone who had an unwavering belief in him, someone who had replied to Seunghyun, returned that initial kindness. Just knowing Jiyong made life so much more bearable but at what cost? What right did he deserve to enjoy life when his Pa couldn’t? How could he enjoy his life from the ground?

This feeling of excruciating pain and guilt was not new, it was not something which could just be laughed away and when Jiyong wasn’t around, well life just got that much scarier. But the added feeling of hope, just that little glimmer of light, it only brought him a small breath of salvation. He wondered if he could ever move on from this and if he couldn’t, it was up to him to not hold anyone back, meaning that he would have to let Jiyong leave. Yes leave but Seunghyun didn’t want that, he didn’t want Jiyong to get over him and forget him like the rest of the world had.

You have to understand that now Seunghyun was alone, shut back away in his bedroom, the grief from opening up to Jiyong was able to resurface and to break free from the total lockdown that he’d spent months creating. Seunghyun could openly feel that upset, it was as if his Pa had passed away yesterday, the pain was so raw and tender in Seunghyun’s every thought.

“You can’t live like this anymore, it’s tearing you up inside and your Ma is your Ma, she’ll understand your motives I’m sure.”

He could hear Jiyong’s voice on a continual replay, the pure coarse sound of pity, and as much as Seunghyun wanted it to irritate him it didn’t. Hearing Jiyong’s soothing voice, to hear care rather than disgust, it caused Seunghyun to want to try again. To want to pick up these pieces and live, to live the life his Pa would’ve wanted.

“Papa!” A little child ran full pelt towards the tall man who had just walked in the door. “Look Papa I made a sword!” The man chuckled as he scooped the child up into his arms and placed a brisk but affectionate kiss on the child’s cheek.

“You’re my little knight aren’t you? Where’s your Ma?” A small cough escaped the man’s lips as he wandered, child still plastered to his upper side, into the kitchen.

“In here!” The child pointed the sword and aimed it forwards. The man and his child entered the kitchen.

“Jaeseung-ah what’re you doing home so early?!” The man’s wife scolded him and he placed his Son and briefcase on the kitchen counter. The child bobbed up and down excitedly watching as his parent’s shared a fleeting kiss.

“I’ve got the rest of the day off” The man seemed proud with himself “And I want to spend it with my wife and children, is that so wrong? Huh Hyuna? My darling wife…”

“Oh you babo!” She scooped their Son off the kitchen counter and the three hugged with the child planting a sloppy kiss on both Parents’ cheeks.

“Where’s my little princess?” The man cooed ruffling his Son’s hair up.

“In the den!” The Son replied. “Can I show Papa please Umma please?!”

“Fine but you need to fix it Seung-ah, I think Mihyun might’ve snapped the pole” The man’s wife laughed as her Husband rolled his eyes and placed their Son on the ground.

“Papa this way!” The Son grabbed a hold of his Father’s hand with his only free one and dragged the man outside. It was a humid summer day and the man was pleased with how nice the warm weather felt against his skin, he loosened his tie as the pair approached a tent.

“Mimi!” The Son called to his Sister.

“Hyun!” A little voice called from inside the baby pink tent. It was shaped like a castle and the top even curled together to form a turret. “Quick get in here before Umma finds us!” At this reply the Son glanced up to his Father for permission who cheekily winked and dropped his Son’s hand from his.

“It’s not Umma we have to worry about” The Son shyly mumbled as he entered the tent, once there his Sister forcefully hushed him and pointed to the shadow of a figure from outside the tent.

“It’s a dragon!” The Daughter concluded swiping her Brother’s sword from his hand. “Is it Umma?”

“No” The Son sulked in reply. “And that’s my sword!” He cried out lurching forward and trying to grab the cardboard sword from his Sister.

“Is that fighting I hear in there?” A big voice bellowed from outside the Castle, the siblings immediately stopped fighting and cowered into a corner.

“No-” The Son called back which resulted in his Sister slapping a painful hand across his face.

“No one’s home I’m afraid!” The Daughter called causing her Brother to roll his eyes.

“Well I can definitely hear some children in there, some nice tasty children…” The voice surrounded the tent and the shadow grew larger.

“Ah noooooooo!” The Sister cried out before a familiar head popped into the tent. “Hey you’re not a dragon!” She pointed her Brother’s sword in her Father’s face.

“And that’s not your sword, give it back to Seunghyun” The man shuffled on his knees into the tent and forcibly gave the sword back to his Son. “Now apologise you’ve made him cry” All the while the Son had been sat in the corner silently crying, instantly he was lifted into his Father’s arms and covered with cherished kisses.

“I’m sorry Hyun” The Daughter pouted as she sat down next to her family in the tent. “I was protecting us though…”

“Enough of that” The Father smiled when his Son finally stopped crying and opened his eyes. “There we are, my beautiful son, now don’t let these girls take over O.K? Especially if I have to go anywhere”

“But Pa-” The Son was silenced by further kisses which tickled the edge of his brow. He helplessly giggled

“Now now, little Seunghyun, you have to listen to me because if you don’t stand up for yourself these Choi women will walk all over you” The Father and Son both laughed the same heartily chuckle. “And don’t tell your Ma that I’ve told you that” He winked as the Daughter ran from the tent, obviously about to do the exact opposite of what her Father wanted. “You stop those tears and we’ll get our revenge, Choi men together forever…”

“Pa?” Seunghyun called as he closed the front door. “Ma? Mimi?” Still no answer so he walked into the kitchen. “Pa?” He wandered out of the back door and into the garden, success! His Father was home. “Pa?” Seunghyun tried once more lowering his backpack from his shoulders and leaving it by the back door.

“Seunghyun, what’re you doing home so early?” His Pa called from a canvas patio chair which was hiding beneath a sun blocking umbrella.

“I’ve got the rest of the day off” Seunghyun shrugged taking the only other seat next to his Father “And I want to spend it with my Pa, is that so wrong?” His Pa only laughed in response but a deep painful cough quickly followed. This cough was always attributed to years of smoking so Seunghyun barely distinguished the sound as anything but normal.

“No” Seunghyun’s Pa shook his head and nudged his Son on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re home but do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know where to start…” Seunghyun honestly replied.

“From the beginning?” There was a small table between them which held the above umbrella in place and Seunghyun rested one hand on it, just to steady himself on the chair.

“You know Dara?”

“Ah…” Was the usual reply and it was instantaneous knowledge to Seunghyun’s Pa who knew exactly where this conversation was going.

“Well she made me this glass panel thing for a design class and it had a big red love heart in the middle, I thought it was really pretty but” The teenager took a minute to wipe his sweating forehead and ping his black hoody a little to reveal his school uniform. “Everyone else just hounded me all day, saying Seunghyun you have to date her now, she really really reaaaally likes you and if you turn her down then she’ll be heartbroken. So I go to her and we talked about it at lunchtime, I said that she was nice and pretty, just like the glass panel she made me. But Pa she didn’t say anything back, she just kissed me, only on the cheek, and I have no idea how I can talk to her anymore. I don’t know what to do, I don’t like her like that and I thought that she just wanted to be friends, is there something wrong with me?” Seunghyun sighed and bashed his head against the table, giving up on the prospects of life.

Seunghyun’s Pa took a good minute or two to reply though when he did it was definitely worth the wait.

“Seunghyun” The younger met his Father’s steady glance.

“Yes?” Seunghyun asked just dying with anticipation.

“First thing’s first, there is nothing wrong with you” His Pa, always so childlike, mimicked his Son’s pose. His head rested on the opposing side of the table with his arms resting on his knees and tucked neatly underneath the wooden surface, Seunghyun smiled. He loved seeing his Pa like this, so playful but wise. “And second of all, there is nothing wrong with saving yourself for someone special. You have to do what you feel and if you don’t feel a certain way then you shouldn’t try to force yourself. Feelings happen and there’s nothing you can do to control them. If Dara likes you enough she’ll respect your feelings and wishes” Now it was his Pa’s turn to smile.

“Thanks Pa” Seunghyun could only reflect his Father’s smile.

“Hey do you fancy a game of ball before your Ma gets home?” A little sneaky glint in his Father’s eye forced Seunghyun’s smile to widen and his worries vanished.

“Sure” He replied as they both sat up at the same time. “I’ll get the ball, you get the sticks”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way” Seunghyun’s Pa chuckled as he stood up ready to dig his sort of broken bamboo sticks, usually reserved for the plants, into the ground thereby creating a magnificent makeshift goal keep. Seunghyun jumped up and ran back into the house, grabbing his one and only leather ball from his bedroom.

Maybe Seunghyun could never recover from the lies, maybe he would never be able to make his Mother or Father proud of him, and maybe, just maybe, Seunghyun would never live up to what Jiyong deserved.

But this all started with him.

It started when he told the very first lie, when his Boss called to tell his Mother what Seunghyun had done whilst said person stood face to face in the kitchen with her, when he had insisted that he’d been besotted by Jinju and undeniably in love with her only to have the most beautiful woman on this earth turn him down. Seunghyun had to go back and right that wrong, he had to see Jinju again.

Shaking hands made their way to the front revolving doors and it was then Seunghyun’s chest swelled with nerves, he wondered if it was possible for him to run away now and not be noticed. No, Seunghyun breathed, he was going to sort this. Stepping into the circular motion of metal Seunghyun quickly slid out the other side and wandered over to the reception desk, his feet tried to walk over to the workers lift but he corrected himself just in the nick of time. The sad receptionist who Seunghyun had handed his coffee to that morning smiled up at him before realising who he was and her smile slipped into a neutral expression.

“How may I help you?” She asked raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Hi” Seunghyun started by quietly clearing his throat and shoving his hands into his black trench coat pockets. “I don’t know if you remember me-”

“I do” She quipped back before Seunghyun could finish his sentence, making it pretty obvious that he wasn’t welcome here.

“I need to speak to Jinju, it doesn’t matter if it has to be through a phone or-or anything I just need five minutes” You would think that Seunghyun had just asked her to put him in touch with President by the sheer look of worry which was now so evidently plain on her face.

“I’m sorry I can’t do that” Her neutral mask returned.

“Look, you remember that morning I saw you” Seunghyun leaned a little over the counter. “I, I-uh- Well you looked upset and I wondered why” The receptionist now looked confused. “But I didn’t want to ask you because I didn’t know you and so I gave you my coffee instead, you smiled for just about a second” Seunghyun’s hands nervously clenched together. “And I thought that you were beautiful, not that I’m saying you’re not now, but I couldn’t help but smile myself because I’d managed to cheer someone up” Get to the point Seunghyun. “Do you remember?” The receptionist nodded and little smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

“I can phone her and put you- hang on” The receptionist stood up and looked over towards the door, Seunghyun spun around to follow her gaze and his heart stopped in a bad way. There stood Jinju in her mighty glory, free flowing auburn locks which curled around her trim figure, and she was walking right up to the reception desk. Seunghyun stood mouth agape as she pushed past him and started talking to the receptionist, it was like she had no idea who he was.

“Yuri I need you to fetch me those accounts from our meeting yesterday” Jinju leaned over the counter and waved a hand in front of her receptionists face. “Ya I don’t pay you to just stare all day?!” The receptionist merely pointed at Seunghyun and Jinju turned to face him.

He swore then and there that he had looked into the very eyes of Medusa, leaving him reduced to nothing but a statue.

“And who is this?” Her eyes gave him a once over and returned to the receptionist. “Ya why is he more important than me?!”

“Se-seu-Seunghyun” Was all the receptionist could say, her face as pale as her white work shirt.

“Who? I have no idea what you’re talking about woman” Jinju turned back to face Seunghyun. “Although you are kinda cute, here” She shoved a fluffy orange handbag into Seunghyun’s hands and surprisingly he was able to catch it. “Ya I’ll take him upstairs with me, I need a new assistant. Now Yuri please pay attention…” Jinju waffled on about something Seunghyun had no interest in and he phased out. She didn’t recognise him, the woman who had beyond a doubt ruined his life didn’t know who he was, and he would’ve said something if he wasn’t so shocked. The receptionist gulped when Seunghyun heard Jinju threaten her

“If I catch you just staring at attractive guests again I’ll send you straight out of that door before you can say sorry, you hear me?” Yuri nodded then looked back at Seunghyun he had no idea what to do now. “You haven’t told me your name?” She turned back to Seunghyun and ran a hand along the side of his face; starting from his quickly combed hair down to his jaw. He felt like vomiting.

“Seunghyun” He blankly replied.

“Huh, this must be fate because I recognise that name, déjà vu or what!” Jinju laughed as she slid her arm through his and linked their arms together. “Come on we’ve got a full day ahead of us” Seunghyun could only look back at Yuri, her response was exactly the same stare but a disbelieving eye roll accompanied by a shrug. Jinju pretty much dragged Seunghyun through the building, into the workers lift (where Jinju pointed out in such a lovely manner that she hated common folk in front of all the lift inhabitants) and right through Seunghyun’s old workspace. He glanced sideways at his old desktop, there was a woman at it, and sighed as Jinju further pulled him into her office. Quite a few people recognised Seunghyun and frowned, showing that they were just as confused as what he was. Once they were in Jinju’s office a man in a chair turned to face her and Seunghyun froze, it was his old boss and her Father.

“Jinju what took you so long?” He ordered as the girl snatched her handbag from Seunghyun and sat down on the plush chair opposite her Father.

“Oh Daddy I hired a new assistant” She airily replied as she searched through the contents of her handbag. “Come further in Seunghyun, let my Daddy see you” Seunghyun didn’t even take a step forward before his old Boss recognised him and frowned. “He was just standing at reception so I figured I deserved to have an attractive assistant” Jinju babbled on dipping her head further into her handbag.

“Jinju?” Her Father started looking back at his Daughter before standing up and beside Seunghyun. “Don’t you know who this is?” Jinju quickly looked up from her handbag, shrugged and continued to search it whilst adding

“No Daddy, I’ve never seen him before in my life” Her Father looked over Seunghyun once more before the game was up.

“How could you not recognise someone who you?” The words sent shivers down Seunghyun’s spine and he felt a little sick by the thought. Jinju’s Father stared from Seunghyun over to his Daughter.

“Huh?” She rapidly blinked then stared up from her handbag. “Daddy no one has ever me”

“What?!” Both Seunghyun and her Father simultaneously gasped.

“Jinju” She looked up as her Father called her name. “This is Seunghyun Choi, why can’t you recognise him?”

“Seunghyun Choi” She repeated giving the name a quick thought in her obviously empty brain. “I don’t recognise the name…”

“We had him fired because you accused him of ” Jinju’s Father looked back at Seunghyun who at present was trying to not faint, he leaned against the office door handle. Then Jinju looked as pale as Seunghyun felt and she slowly stood up

“Wait, I mean-I remember now- Oh it was so clear! I tried to block it out of my memory!” The actress in her materialised but it didn’t have the desired effect that she wanted. Her Father merely stepped forward and looked straight into his Daughter’s eyes.

“Why would you not recognise something like that?”

“Because it’s a lie” Seunghyun spoke, he actually said something, and his words only caused him to continue. “That day I was fired she wanted me to go on a date with her and because I am a decent polite man I turned her down, which resulted in her crying wolf. She told me that she couldn’t date people who worked for her Daddy” The bitterness and sarcasm from Seunghyun’s voice cut through the rooms atmosphere like a knife. It was his time now, it was time for the truth to be told.

“Jinju is this true?” Her Father looked backwards and forwards not sure what to do with himself. “I always suspected that you were an actress but a reckless liar on top of that? Answer me woman!”

“I-I-” She tried to turn on the waterworks so Seunghyun decided that he’d speak for her.

“You know I never liked you” Seunghyun took that step forward and now he was stood beside her Father. “I never flirted with you, how could I ever like someone who treats everyone around her like dirt? But I was too polite, too kind to you, and instead of snickering about you behind your back like everyone else here I tried talking to you. I tried to believe that you were a good person and that’s how you treat a person who is kind to you? You accuse them of ?” He tried to calm himself down when he felt his fists ball together in pockets.

“Jinju?!” Her Father shouted at her trying to provoke some sort of reaction, he got nothing.

“You destroyed my life then you have the cheek to rehire me? Well no thank you and Sir” Seunghyun looked straight at Jinju’s Father who looked rather shaken. “Your Daughter made my life hell and I won’t be sitting quietly from the side-lines anymore. Now that you know just how much of liar she is” Seunghyun turned to the open office door which he had had accidentally opened wide for everyone to hear when he felt faint. “And now that everyone out there knows, you’ll be hearing from me soon” He tried to smile at them both before walking out of the office. A familiar face soon made their presence known, it was Yuri and she was smiling.

“See I knew you weren’t a ” She looked at Seunghyun then flicked her gaze over to the rows of workers who had all stopped typing and were watching.

“Well, uh, thanks I think” Seunghyun cleared his throat and unfastened the top button of his blue shirt open.

“So much so that I got” Yuri looked over at the nearest computer “Dongwook over there to record the whole thing” A guy peered his head around from behind the computer and smirked. “It’s handy that Jinju wanted nothing but the newest computers in this office, means that they all come with lovely microphones…” Yuri’s smile only widened when Dongwook played the sound clip from his computer, Seunghyun couldn’t breathe - this was amazing!

“Daddy no one has ever me”

Dongwook looped that one single line over and over again, Seunghyun shook from the warm anger which bubbled at his insides, he just couldn’t believe it. The shock caused him to grab a hold of Yuri’s shoulder and his eyes blurred, this was it, he was definitely going down.

And he did.

The next thing Seunghyun saw was a hand waving in front of his face, a slender bony hand, which was accompanied by a sweet doughy voice calling his name. He frantically blinked, trying to steady his blurring vision, and when he finally came to Seunghyun smiled.

“Jiyong?” He called out as the guy’s beautiful features came into focus, where in heck- what the-

“It’s O.K Seunghyun” Jiyong smiled causing Seunghyun to melt and without delay all that anger which had been bubbling up inside of him subsided.

“Luckily this guy called your mobile and I answered it” Yuri now came into view and a huge smile still lit up her face. Seunghyun frowned, he couldn’t remember putting his phone into his pocket, but then he reached for it and found it exactly where they said, in his pocket.

“I was on a break so I just figured I’d call, now I know your number” Toyed Jiyong softly “And fortunately I did” Sitting up Seunghyun observed his surroundings, he was sat in a plush leather chair just like the one Jinju had, and hang on a minute - this was her office. Seunghyun nearly went into panic mode if it wasn’t for Jiyong suddenly whisking his hand into Seunghyun’s, the light squeeze soon simmered the building tension, and Jiyong continued to talk. “This lovely Noona here told me what happened but she has something she needs to tell you”

“Seunghyun” Yuri looked as if she was about to burst from excitement. “Jinju’s Father fired her and then had her escorted out by Security. Once she was out of the building he came to find you and he wanted me to pass this message on to you: He’s sorry for the pain Jinju must have caused you and he’d like to offer you her position that is if you’ll take it. You’ll be the Primary Editor and-”

“I’m sorry” Seunghyun interrupted and shifted a little away from the pair, still keeping Jiyong’s hand intertwined with his. “But I can’t, I can’t work here and I’m really thankful for what you’ve done for me. I don’t want money, I don’t want a job, and really I just wanted an apology. Although now, now her Father knows who she truly is, well that’s enough of a punishment. I, I have to start again and do it for me, if I accept this job I’ll never be able to get over what happened here” His eyes finally met Jiyong’s incredulous stare. “I need to start living for myself and live a life which I and my Father can be proud of” Jiyong’s shocked expression softened at the words and he nodded once Seunghyun had finished speaking. “Thank you Yuri, it was a pleasure to meet you” Somehow he managed to stand up and curtly bow to the receptionist before tugging at Jiyong’s hand and leaving the office. The pair walked in silence until they had left the building and as soon as they stepped out of the revolving door Jiyong spoke.

“That was beautiful” Jiyong coughed a little nervous by the obvious tension still present around Seunghyun.

“Thanks” Seunghyun barely replied with a whisper.

“So uh…” Seunghyun watched from the corner of his eye as Jiyong looked around, probably wishing to be anywhere but here.

“Thanks for coming to my rescue” Seunghyun tried to joke but the depth to his voice made the words sound a little fractured, broken and above all out of place.

“It’s no trouble at all” Jiyong quickly answered giving Seunghyun’s hand a gentle squeeze. So much had happened, so much truth had been released and Seunghyun’s brain was numb from trying to figure out what to do next. He wanted to say something to Jiyong, to tell him that he was ready and he meant it, though his mouth couldn’t move, the words weren’t as easy to say. How can you convey relief without crying? Seunghyun was fed up of Jiyong constantly seeing him as this weak and just plain sorrowful mess. He wanted that unrestrained happiness back.

“Seunghyun” Another little cough caused Seunghyun to jump back into reality and out from his mind. “Do you wanna go get some ice cream?” Jiyong wasn’t smiling, the warmth that was usually there was completely invisible, and this worried Seunghyun. The worry was barely worth it though because Jiyong soon squeezed Seunghyun’s hand again and a different look met Seunghyun’s wandering eyes. Jiyong’s usual radiance and happy go lucky attitude were at present replaced by a look of unwavering support. Looking right into Jiyong’s dewy amber eyes Seunghyun could see something solid, something that promised Seunghyun the entire world, something of which matter-of-factly exampled the fact that Jiyong was just there, right here by Seunghyun’s side. It was an intimate stare something that Seunghyun had never before shared with another human being and that closeness, that silent reassurance, was worth more than words.

More than enough.

Seunghyun nodded and allowed Jiyong to guide him away from the office building, away from his past and off somewhere into the foreseeable future – the future was something more than a possibility, something more than a promise, and overall it was worth hanging around for.

(When this began)
I had nothing to say,
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me,
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find,
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind,
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed,
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel,
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone,
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.


I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real,
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long,
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real,
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along,
Somewhere I belong.

- Linkin Park's Somewhere I belong.