The perfect day ended with Seunghyun and Jiyong going to an old style camera shop and getting their photos developed. It took about an hour for the photos to be finished and when they were it was like pure magic. Each photo was beautiful, albeit a couple were blurry but Seunghyun swore they were the ones he took, and Jiyong divided them into half giving Seunghyun some of the most wonderful photos that he had ever seen.

“Thank you” Seunghyun flicked through the photos once more and stopped when he found his favourite. It was that exact moment when Jiyong said “I quit”, he had glanced up at the camera with a weak smile which highlighted his drained features, eyes blurred by past tears, truly he was beautiful.

“This one's my favourite” Jiyong spoke from the chair beside Seunghyun, they were still in the camera shop and sat side by side in a mini waiting area. Seunghyun looked up from his little collection and stared at the photo Jiyong was holding up to him. It was of Seunghyun sat in the salon chair staring into the mirror as if it was for the first time, he smiled, that too was beautiful.

“And whys that?” Seunghyun liked the photo but right now he'd rather look at Jiyong so he did. A smile melted his features

“It was the moment I felt you change, like I'd seen you change your appearance and stuff, but in that chair I could feel something different. I don't know, it sounds weird now that I'm saying it out loud” A nervous laugh escaped from Jiyong's quivering lips and Seunghyun had use all of his energy to suppress the urge to kiss him again.

“It doesn't sound weird” Seunghyun offered a smile instead which Jiyong merrily exchanged.

“Only you would say that. You're biased” He joked playfully tapping Seunghyun's shoulder.

Jiyong had one more place that he wanted to take Seunghyun and it was even more of a surprise than the last. The place, which they were currently stood outside of, was a little on the outskirts of the city, Seunghyun had never even seen this part of Seoul before and so he was naturally intrigued by every single sight. Every little thing seemed to fascinate him, like the way the street lamps looked dimmer or how the stacks of city apartments seemed to decay with every step that they took, this was definitely an older part of the capital. It was like another world, something so far from Seunghyun's idea of what Seoul was that his head started to spin, though this wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He liked the feeling of risk, the element of danger, and yet he felt totally safe under Jiyong's firm grip.

A sweeping of low afternoon light flowed from behind the place, Seunghyun was astonished by it and how the café looked as if it could collapse at any second. Obviously he felt rather apprehensive especially when Jiyong reached for the cracked door handle and this apprehension stuck with him as they wandered through the café. The walls were peeling varying shades of beige and the floor was old chipped wood, everything was rusty although the place looked clean enough. It wasn't much of a surprise to see that the shop was empty apart from two people who sat on bar stools behind the counter. As Jiyong led Seunghyun up to the counter they could hear the pair behind the till playfully arguing about who should stay and shut the shop up however, the argument quickly froze when Jiyong cleared his throat, eyeing up the couple as if he knew them.

“Ji-ah!” The lady of the couple called, shoving a part of the counter top up and escaping into Jiyong's already open arms.

“Umma!” Jiyong hummed whilst smacking a swift kiss onto his Mother's cheek, wait this was Jiyong's Mother? “Appa” He added with a light awkward nod to the man who quickly rose to his feet.

“It's not often you stop by Jiyong, is something the matter?” Jiyong's Father asked, his face showing obvious signs of confusion.

“Yah we thought you were embarrassed of us!” His Mother added reaching out and gently shaking Jiyong's shoulder. It was strange, well to Seunghyun, because they seemed disjointed – something felt a little off despite the warm welcome.

“No!” Jiyong instantly protested, his cheeks burning a bright crimson hue. “It's just, I'm always busy, but, parents I'd like you to meet my friend Seunghyun” Suddenly he reached back and grabbed Seunghyun's arm, dragging him about an inch forward.

“Hi” Seunghyun gawkily answered their strong stares. Jiyong's Mother eyed him up first, looking him over as if he was under a microscopic inspection all the while Jiyong's Father did the exact opposite and just gave him a quick look over, eyes speedily returning to his Son.

“He's not funny like you is he?” Jiyong's Father bluntly asked before looking down at the till, opening it and pretending to sort some money out. Seunghyun could see over the counter top and noticed that Jiyong's Father was just picking up different notes and putting them back in the exact same till section.

“Appa please” Jiyong rolled his eyes followed by a frustrated sigh, Seunghyun frowned, just what was going on in here?

“Well answer the question boy…” His Father waddled a little down the counter and fussed with a few empty cups.

“I like to think that I'm rather hilarious” Seunghyun had no idea what the big elephant in the room was but he was sure that humour could combat anything. Jiyong's Mother burst out laughing and Seunghyun was surprised at just how similar her laugh was to Jiyong's.

“Hmm” A deep leisurely reply filled the air after a few more awkward minutes of staring. Jiyong looked as if he was biting his tongue, trying his hardest not to laugh and Seunghyun grinned. He went to reach for Jiyong's hand, to show some silent support, but Jiyong quickly folded his arms.

Ah.

Seunghyun had discovered the elephant in the room...

“Come sit, sit” Jiyong's Mother tried to change the atmosphere. “Yah we haven't seen Jiyong in months and this is how you treat him!” She reached over the counter and pinched her Husband's arm. Seunghyun could only follow Jiyong across the café and sit down opposite him at a table for four. “Would you like some tea? Coffee? We have cake! Ah there's not much left but I can make something, I'm a great cook! Why don't we get some biscuits out? We've got a special tin somewhere...” Throughout Jiyong's Mother scramble to change the atmosphere Jiyong kept his eyes focused on a little patch of rust which sat at his end of the table. Seunghyun carefully watched him keeping his gaze flickering between the totally depressed Jiyong and his babbling Mother whilst nodding at the appropriate moments during her one sided conversation. Eventually she decided on tea for them all accompanied by the special tin of biscuits that is if she could find them and this caused her to scurry off into the back in a hunt for the tin. Jiyong's Father remained at the counter, eyeing the sitting duo from a careful distance, and whenever Seunghyun looked up at him he pretended to be looking elsewhere.

Seunghyun knew he had to communicate some form of support over to Jiyong he just had to figure out a subtle way to do this. He quickly made his decision and asked

“This is a lovely place, have you lived here all your life?” Seunghyun aimed the question at Jiyong's Father who looked a little surprised by the question.

“Yes, some of us have” Jiyong's Father reluctantly answered busying himself with an old silver teapot. Seunghyun took this brief second to tap Jiyong's foot with his own, at once Jiyong responded to the touch and his gaze rose to Seunghyun's. Seunghyun smiled and nodded to Jiyong who after a hesitant minute returned half of the smile.

“Well it's very nice” Seunghyun added “So Mr. Kwon, can I call you that?”

“No-” Jiyong's Father got halfway through his response when Seunghyun spoke over him.

“Great then Mr. Kwon it is. I've always hated cafés, they're too small and usually packed with annoying customers” This blatant rudeness caused Jiyong to look at Seunghyun as if he'd lost the plot, but there was a plan to the madness, well sort of. “I like this café though, it's quite spacious, nice street view and it's quiet, kind of almost dead...” He rambled on and on until Jiyong's Father just stood staring, mouth gaping, at Seunghyun. “I'm just a country boy myself, only recently moved to the city and I came here to be with my family. My Sister's lived here for a couple of years now so she found us a house and we moved. You're quite lucky to live here Sir, Seoul's an amazing place, and I’m guessing that Jiyong lived here too? That's great, you're both really lucky, I wish my Father was still around” Seunghyun glanced up at Jiyong's Father who still looked confused as hell and he smiled at him. “There's nothing more important to a Son than his Father” He added before looking out of the window and acting as if something outside thoroughly amused him. Seunghyun couldn't describe the plan exactly, he was just kind of going with the flow and hoped that it worked. He couldn't bear the thought of Jiyong losing his Father, not that he would, but Seunghyun didn't really want to take that chance. “You're both lucky to have each other” He added still staring out the window.

It had been about ten minutes since Seunghyun's waffle and Jiyong's Mother had returned, occupying the seat next to Seunghyun. She poured them tea, offered them biscuits (which Seunghyun took two of and earned a quick laugh from Jiyong's Mother who found his eagerness hilarious) and slowly but surely Jiyong's Father sat down beside his Son. Seunghyun was momentarily surprised when Jiyong's Mother started to interrogate him about his life story, although it did alleviate some of the still present tension.

“So do you work Seunghyun?” She asked whilst dropping a ton of sugar into her tea, ah so that's where he gets it from. Seunghyun couldn't help but smirk at the sight as he watched Jiyong do the exact same thing just across the table from him.

“Used to” Seunghyun nonchalantly replied taking a small sip of his black tea. “Wow this is lovely” He tried to slip in as many compliments as he could, even if he didn't really like tea all that much. “I used to work at a book publishing company” He could feel a pair of heated eyes on him and when he glanced up he was surprised to find that its owner belonged to Jiyong. Maybe he was a little suspicious of what Seunghyun was going to say? Never mind, the latter tried to keep things cool. “I'm looking for a new job now, fancied a change” He shrugged then took another sip of tea, he had no idea that he could be so composed and collected.

“Oh?” Jiyong's Mother nodded as if she understood Seunghyun's reason.

“Or he was fired” Jiyong's Father grumbled from his tea cup.

“Actually I quit” Seunghyun quickly fired back, his eyes met Jiyong's Fathers from across the table and they held the gaze for a while. The younger of the two felt as if he should be intimated although in all honesty he wasn't. The strange thing was, Seunghyun was slowly realising, that he felt brave when Jiyong didn't. When Jiyong kept his gaze firmly rooted to that one part of the table, locked in some sort of fearful trance, Seunghyun impulsively felt the need to protect him - admittedly this worked the other way around too and Jiyong had been brave for Seunghyun. Though now it was no longer just a case of returning the favour no, now it was different because it was a natural occurrence, like breathing or walking, the two lived off each other and there was nothing either could do to change that. It was comforting to know that no matter what Jiyong would always be there for him and vice versa.

“The job wasn't right for me, I am fully qualified so it shouldn't be too difficult to find a new job” Seunghyun broke the graze with Jiyong's Father first and returned to staring at Jiyong, who shakily raised the tea cup to his lips and took a timid sip.

“What would you like to do for a living then?” Jiyong's Mother rolled off the next question in her mighty repertoire.

“Honestly, I'm not sure, I'd love to get back into the book publishing business but on my own terms” Seunghyun tried to answer her with determination and integrity hoping that would prove his dedication, especially to her Son. “My Father was a business man so I learned a few things from him, who knows what could happen?” He tried to keep the conversation flowing.

“Was?” Jiyong's Mother raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, unfortunately he's no longer with us” Seunghyun answered whilst taking in a deep breath. Saying it out loud so simply didn't hurt as much anymore, it was a weird feeling.

“Oh I'm so sorry dear” She lifted up a soft hand and squeezed Seunghyun's shoulder.

“Thank you” He cleared his throat as another idea popped into his mind. “That's why I'm so excited to meet you, Jiyong's parents. He always talks about you, about how loving you are and how he misses you when he's working” A little -O.K maybe a huge- embellishment of the truth wouldn't hurt right? Jiyong's stare shot back up and he looked just as confused as his Father, both sets of eyebrows furrowing together and creasing their round faces. Suddenly it became rather apparent to Seunghyun that Jiyong looked a heck of a lot like his Father.

“He does?” Jiyong's Father sounded a little breathless.

“Of course he does, why wouldn't he?” Seunghyun casually smiled, sending a secret utterly oblivious smile in Jiyong's direction.

“You won't believe how happy that makes me to hear that” Jiyong's Mother sighed, utterly elated by Seunghyun's words. “Thank you Seunghyun” She actually smiled, a full big toothy grin, causing Seunghyun's smile to widen with satisfaction. “I really thought that you hated us Ji”

Uh oh.

Jiyong suddenly looked rather emotionless, his face went blank and it was like Seunghyun had flicked on his autopilot button. Seunghyun's smile fell at the lack of response

“Why would he hate you?” Seunghyun slowly asked looking around at every seated person. The question only caused further silence and he got the feeling that no one wanted to answer him.

“Because they threw me out” Jiyong finally spoke up and glanced up at Seunghyun, his eyes watering over and voice uncharacteristcally cold.

“What?” Seunghyun gasped as his mind drew a blank.

“Now Ji don't be like that” Jiyong's Mother stammered a rushed reply.

“Why?” Seunghyun asked keeping his eyes locked onto Jiyong's.

“We wanted him to work hard for the things that he owns, we wanted him to experience life and to stop wasting his time on unproductive projects” Jiyong's Father gave a stern look to his Son who gulped.

“Wait...” Seunghyun's mind went crazy, this couldn't possibly mean... “You were the ones who stopped Jiyong from pursuing a career in photography?” Right away everything made sense. Before anyone could answer Jiyong sprang up and ran as fast as he could out of the café. Seunghyun jumped up too and chased after him, slamming the door open to jog down the street after him. Jiyong wouldn't stop running and as Seunghyun began to run out of breath he felt his phone vibrate, he kept running whilst slipping his phone from his trouser pocket and looking from Jiyong to the text.

Yongie: Leave me alone, I don't want to see you right now, stop running.

Seunghyun refused. He called after Jiyong.

I don't want to leave you alone, I promised that I would never leave you and I will keep chasing you until you collapse from exhaustion. You stop running.

He carried on chasing Jiyong. A moment later his phone buzzed again.

Yongie: Break your promise, please I can't talk to you right now, I won't stop.

Still Seunghyun refused.

Never. Never will I break a promise to you. Please talk to me, I am here for you. I always will be, I won’t stop either.

He had no idea where on earth he was but still he wouldn't give up, not as long as he could see Jiyong in the distance. His phone buzzed once more

Yongie: I wanted my parents to meet you as my partner, as my best friend and as my soul mate. I wanted to give them another chance but they blew it. That's all you need to know now go. I need some time on my own, I will call you when I'm ready, please stop running.

And Seunghyun stopped.

He saw Jiyong turn around but still he kept running. Seunghyun's heart stopped, his feet, his breathing-

Everything stopped.

He watched Jiyong's back vanish off into the distance. He wanted to help Jiyong, to be there for him, but Jiyong didn't want him. Jiyong didn't need him.

You broke our promise.

Seunghyun couldn't bring himself to finish the text, he just couldn't. Seunghyun was lost in every sense of the word and it had all happened so quickly. Turning around he tried to remember the way back to Jiyong's parents but he couldn't recognise a thing. Then he did the only thing he knew he could, Seunghyun looked back down at his phone and searched his contacts.

“Hello?” Seunghyun's Ma called from down the phone line. Her voice was an instant comfort but it wasn't enough. It wasn't Jiyong's voice.

“Ma I'm lost” His voice cracked from the weighty realisation of his words and he backed up against a nearby building, leaning against it as his energy diminished.

“What? What do you mean you're lost?!” She started to panic and her voice cracked too.

“Well” Seunghyun breathed in “I-I just, Ma I have so much I need to tell you”

“Seunghyun where are you?” Her voice rose in volumes and he could hear shuffling in the background.

“I'm so sorry, sorry for everything” The pressure of everything, of losing Jiyong, of ruining everything, became too much for him to stomach. He'd never felt this sick before, why had Jiyong led him so blindly into that place? Why didn't Jiyong just tell him? Why couldn't Jiyong speak to him?

“Seunghyun you're worrying me, please tell me where you are” Seunghyun became deaf to his Mother's pleas and only choked out tears in loud painful spurts.

“Ma I-I'm an idiot! I ruin everything I love! I can't do this anymore! I love him so much! I don't know what I'll do! I'm alone, I just- I can't-” Seunghyun slid down the wall and buried his face into his raised knees. “He's just the best, the most wonderful person and I- I-” He sobbed into his trousers, tears spilling freely down his face, and he just couldn't make sense of anything. Everything was strange, the world abruptly felt alien again, like he would be on his own again, losing everything again.

Seunghyun didn't notice when his phone was wrenched from his hand and a familiar voice spoke precise directions down it. He didn't notice when the man tugged him from the floor, up onto his feet and off down the street. And he most certainly had no idea how he ended up back in this old rusting café. He finally came back to his senses when he felt a hot drink being tightly pressed in between his frozen hands whilst a soft hand lifted the panda hat from his head and placed it down on the table in front of him. He jolted at the touch and nearly spilt the hot liquid everywhere.

“Seunghyun” Jiyong's Mother softly called running a gentle hand through his matted hat hair.

“Mrs. Kwon?” Seunghyun blinked, how in the heck did he end up here?

“We're so sorry” She slowly sat down beside Seunghyun and put an arm around him, he fell into the embrace but remained stiff throughout. “I've missed my Son so much, I just don't know what to do anymore” Jiyong's Father appeared and filled the seat directly in front of Seunghyun.

“Seunghyun I've spoken to your Mother and she'll be here soon” He looked a little uncomfortable about the fact that he was helping another human being although Seunghyun was too cold to care. He just looked forward at a rotting wall. The hot drink was taken out of his unresponsive hands by Jiyong's Father who lightly placed it on the table between them.

“Why didn't Jiyong tell us about you?” Jiyong's Mother asked a few more questions which Seunghyun failed to hear. He felt angry, so incredibly angry, how could a Father treat his own flesh and blood like that? How could they have kicked Jiyong out? How could Jiyong not inform him of this important information? He caught the start of her last question “I just don't understand why he hates us so-”

“Are you that stupid?!” Seunghyun sprang up from her embrace, he'd just about reached the end of his tether and he was too upset to care about who he may or may not be insulting. “He hates you because you stopped him from doing something that he loves, something that comes naturally to him! You denied him the basic freedom to choose the life that he wanted to live and instead you shoved him into a world in which you created! You don't accept him for the beautiful person that he is and you have the repulsive need to know why? You actually sicken me! You know I would do anything to have another chance to speak to my Father! I'd walk to the ends of the earth if it meant that I could just have one more second with him and you! You treat your Son with distance, like he's an object! You should be grateful that you have each other and cherish the bonds you have! You're pushing your Son away and you might have just gotten your wish! I hope you're happy! I hope you're content with the knowledge that your Son is now god knows where doing god knows what!” Seunghyun stood up “Your Son is the greatest gift that life could ever give you, do you not realise just how amazing, talented and beautiful he is?!”

“Are you in love with my Son?” Jiyong's Father coldly asked, not reacting to a word. On the other hand Jiyong's Mother was the man’s polar opposite and sat in a puddle of tears.

“Hopelessly!” Seunghyun answered resting his hands against the table and glaring right into those cold rings of nothingness. “I love your Son more than life itself, I will always love him no matter what you say or do, and he is the most remarkable individual that I have ever met! He's one of a kind, a diamond in the rough, he's beyond perfect and for you to not realise this well, it's you who is truly missing out!” Seunghyun seethed, digging his fingertips with all of his strength into the metal table. “To give him life then take it away from him, it's just cruel!” He leaned away from the table, grabbing his panda hat and leaving the café, opting to wait outside instead.

It didn't take long for Seunghyun's Ma to arrive and when she did he couldn't get into the car fast enough. Once he was buckled in she immediately drove off, a hundred questions flew into Seunghyun's direction but he didn't answer her. For some reason beyond his control he couldn't talk, no matter how hard he tried nothing would come out, and so he gave up sitting in a daze of whirling traffic and pounding questions. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the set of photographs from their perfect day, the waterworks just wouldn't stop and the urge to be sick deepened with every photo he flicked through. Seunghyun even failed to respond when his Ma pulled over into a lay-by and completely stopped the car, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Seunghyun stopped at his favourite photo of Jiyong.

“Seunghyun please talk to me” Seunghyun's Ma started up the questions again, he just wanted to hear her talk, to fade into her words and express none of his own - to fade away and cease to exist. “Please I've been so worried about you, that man who spoke to me on the phone – who was he? Why did he say that you were ill? Is something the matter?”

“Ma” Seunghyun had to eventually give in at some point, he didn't have the strength to put up yet another façade and so he broke down into inaudible sobs.

“Yes?” She unbuckled her belt and turned in her seat to face her tearful Son, unsure of whether to hold him or not.

“I'm sorry” He inhaled a deep breath, trying to fill his body with something other than pain, and glanced down at his shivering hands, they were lightly tracing the lines of Jiyong. “I'm sorry for killing Pa and I'm sorry for lying to you and I'm sorry for being nothing but a disappointment and I-”

“Seunghyun!” The care and worry tenderised her shout. “You didn't kill him”

“I did” Seunghyun replied without question “I was so wrapped up in losing my job, so wrapped up in being an idiot that I didn't come home...”

“Seunghyun” Seunghyun's Ma repeated with a sigh and, unbeknownst to her Son, she started to cry. “Look at me” He didn't dare look up.

“Ma” Seunghyun cleared his throat but still kept his gaze low “I didn't do anything to Jinju, I honestly didn't, I lost my job because she accused me, she did that because I wouldn't date her and I didn't want to tell you because Pa died on the same day and I didn't want you to pity me. I'd rather you were angry with me, to distance yourself from me so, so that...” His sentence trailed off when he felt his seatbelt click open.

“Come here” Seunghyun's Ma softly commanded tugging her Son into a strong hug which nearly squeezed the life out of him. “I know, I know everything, I always knew. Seunghyun I know you more than you know yourself” She tried to soothe her child, her little baby boy. “You're my beautiful Son, of course I know” She gently rocked him and he buried his frozen face into her snug neck. “The only thing I don't understand is what's happening, why are you telling me all of this now? Who was that man I spoke to?”

The embrace slowly fell apart as Seunghyun pulled away, falling back into his seat. He watched as his Ma dried her eyes on her woolly sleeve, she looked so confused yet so desperate to find some answers. Seunghyun sighed running his own hand across his eyes in an attempt to smudge the tears away.

“Ma you know when I asked you a couple of weeks ago to give me a makeover and you asked if it was for a girl?” She nodded to her Son, a light smile pressed her once down turned lips. “I met a guy and I didn't want to tell you because, well, because I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. I couldn't fathom what I felt for this guy, it was ridiculous because I felt attracted to him, attracted to him like a bee to a flower and I wanted to know everything about him. I met him at the supermarket and I had no idea just how much he would change my life” Seunghyun could feel himself smile as he described Jiyong to his Ma, he glanced back down at the photo which was still locked in between his fingers. “There's still some stuff that I don't fully understand but I really like him and he likes me. His name is Jiyong and he's just amazing. When I went out with Mihyun, well, it turns out that her date was best friends with Jiyong and he'd tagged along like a double date. I couldn't believe it, I thought that it had to be fate, it just had to be, and I know it sounds silly but I took a chance and I don't regret a thing. I don't care about the fact that he's a guy, he's different, the way he makes me feel it's just- just so beyond words and gender, I- Are you mad at me Ma?”

“I could never be mad at you, no matter how much you wanted me to be” Seunghyun's Ma sighed and lightly cupped her Son's cheeks. “You and Mihyun are the love of my life and if you're happy then I'm happy too” A contrasting look of worry streaked her bright brown eyes causing Seunghyun to frown, she carefully explained. “It's just that I'm a little worried, you know how it is here, your life will be so difficult and I don't want that for my Son” She sighed and gradually lowered her hands from her Son's face to her knees. “You'll be called every name under the sun, people will instantly judge you all the time and it'll be hard”

“I don't care” Seunghyun replied within a second of her pausing. “It would be harder for me to live without him. I'm fed up of caring about strangers might think, let them think whatever they want and I'll take every insult with a bright smile because at the end of the day-” He instantly halted the rest of his words when he realised what he was about to say.

We'd be together.

He wanted to cry again, to feel that brutal relief from a simple flooding of his cheeks, but he just couldn't. He didn't deserve that relief.

“I understand” A gentle caress of his hand caused Seunghyun to look back up at his Ma. “And I'll do everything that I can to protect you both but Seunghyun you have to understand that you can't shut me out any more. I need my Son back and I love you so much, I don't think that I can bear it if you shut me out again”

“Then I need to tell you something else” Seunghyun felt her grip tighten on his hand whilst he spoke. “That man you spoke to was Jiyong's Father, he wanted me to meet them but I ruined everything” He gulped and then explained the whole situation, he told his Ma everything and spoke every single untold truth that he had been withholding from her.

Seunghyun found that the saying of “a problem shared is a problem halved” was completely true and once he had finished explaining what had happened his Ma offered him a quick hug before resuming the drive back home. All the way there she tried to come up with different solutions, whilst trying to slip in a few jokes about kidnapping Jiyong in between the more serious suggestions. Once they parked in front of the house and out of the car Seunghyun's Ma latched onto him, practically forcing her Son to shuffle into the house. She was still trying to come up with more solutions and, though he didn't want to, Seunghyun smiled. It felt good to tell the truth, to be honest with someone, and then his smile faded again. Why had been such an inconsiderate twit around Jiyong's parents?

Somehow Seunghyun ended up on the sofa with a big bucket of ice cream wedged between his legs and a spoon curled into his hand. Sat on either side of him were his Ma and Mihyun, both with spoons, both digging into the bucket. Seunghyun hadn't heard his Ma explain everything to Mihyun who then exchanged everything she knew, he didn't even realise that he'd entered the house, taken his coat and shoes off and in some way had slipped into a pair of baggy pyjamas. Seunghyun only returned to planet Earth when Mihyun gently nudged him

“Hyun did you hear that?” She nudged him again.

“What?” He blankly responded suddenly snapping back into life.

“What Ma said?” She rolled her eyes when he looked at them both and still had no idea what was going on.

“No what? I'm sorry” Seunghyun sighed looking into the ice cream as if it was a crystal ball in the hope that it would give him some answers.

“I said that you should try romancing him” A mischievous smirk highlighted his Ma’s sharp features.

“You know like they do in films when they mess up” Mihyun explained before shoving a huge spoonful of vanilla into .

“And how would I do that?” Seunghyun generally asked still splitting his gaze between the pair of smirking women.

“Well it's easy, you could...” Mihyun reeled off a ton of different things that Seunghyun could do; the ideas ranged from obvious things like flowers, chocolates, teddy bears to less obvious things like writing a letter, serenading him from a far, some other clichéd things she’d seen happen in a film like make him a picnic, send him a card, paint him a picture or do all of the above.

“But he's a guy?” Seunghyun frowned “Do guys like that sort of thing?”

“Well if anyone here knows what boys like it should be you” Seunghyun's Ma quipped up a response which made Mihyun chuckle. “I mean you are a guy aren't you?”

“Uh yeah” Seunghyun stuttered “But I-”

“What would you like then? What would you expect from Jiyong if the tables were turned?” Mihyun asked gently nudging her head in the curve of her Brother's shoulder.

“I want to write him a letter” Seunghyun answered as he lifted up the ice cream tub and placed it on Mihyun's folded legs, his Ma took the unused spoon from her Son's hand and he stood up. “I'll write to him, I'll put it into words just how much he means to me and I'll take it to him, I'll deliver it then leave. Thanks for your help guys, I love you both so much” He placed a quick but loving kiss on his Ma then Sister's cheeks before running out of the room and up to his bedroom. Even if Jiyong never wanted to speak to him again Seunghyun had to ask why? He had to show Jiyong that he would be there for him no matter what.

The pen in Seunghyun's hand wobbled as he sat on the edge of his bed and stared down at his blank notebook. How should he start the letter? What would he say? What was there to say? What words could describe how much he cared for Jiyong? For that ridiculous supermarket boy, to tell him how much he'd changed, to offer nothing but unconditional care and unwavering hope. He sighed, Seunghyun loved words, but finding the right ones well, that was a different story. He was still so angry.

Dear Jiyong...

He spent the rest of the night writing, rewriting and starting again as he tried to communicate his thoughts into words, translating his heart into inky scribbles. In the end, before a crushing wave of tiredness washed over him, Seunghyun smiled down at the letter and held it out front of him for inspection. He tried not to cry over it, he didn't want to smudge the ink, so he held it away from his face. Slowly he read the letter aloud, taking his time to scan for mistakes or grammatical errors, this had to be perfect.

Dear Jiyong,

                        I know that this is probably the last thing you want to receive let alone read but please hear me out. I need to tell you how much you mean to me and to be left in this unknown pit of silence is just killing me. I am so sorry for joking around your parents, for not understanding the atmosphere or the situation, but in all honesty you said nothing to me. You should have said something to me and I would have understood. I feel like such an idiot and I have no idea where to go from here. You mean everything to me, you changed my life for the better and I only wanted to return the favour, to be there for you when you needed me. I just want to see you again, to hold you again and feel you near me. I'll do anything to repair the damage that I have caused.

When you left your Father found me and took me back to the café, still they couldn't understand what they had done wrong so I told them. I told them about how wonderfully talented you are, about how they are lucky to have you as their Son and how you are lucky to have them. I also told them that I love you, I told them everything, and then I left. I was angry because I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong, though now, now when I think back to it I know that I should have kept my big trap shut.

For some reason I turn into an even bigger of an idiot around you. I say things that should remain locked away, do things that I normally wouldn't and feel things which I have never even thought of let alone experienced. I want to thank you for everything and I just want you to know how much you have helped me. Nothing would make me happier than to have you back in my arms but if you never want to see me again, I know that I can be happy with the knowledge that someone like you even took the time to talk to someone like me. Without you here I can keep these feelings inside and I'll bury my heart, I'll keep the feelings that I have for you close, and I'll smile. I'll smile knowing what it felt like to be loved, to even have that chance of living again, I can only thank you.

At first I was worried about falling in love with another guy, the word gay frightened me so much, and I thought that everyone would hate me for it, would treat me differently. I didn't even know if what I felt for you was love. I liked the way the spoke to me, the kind words you offered in exchange to hear my voice, and no one had taken the time to get to know me like that before. You gave me another chance at life. The way you treat me with such care and affection I can't help but want more, to be around you all the time and absorb every single little thing about you. Like the way you tap your toes when you're impatient, you tilt your head when you don't understand something, your lips pout when you're frustrated, you're anxious around others and sometimes you do clumsy things because of this building pressure to please. Your smile can light up an entire room and when you do smile you do it with every inch of your heart, you can't hide your emotions well and when a feeling escapes you your puffy cheeks blush with the softest shade of pink that I have ever seen. When you laugh you use the whole of your lungs and as you wheeze to catch your breath back you make a little exasperated noise. When I think about these things nothing else seems to matter, no labels or opinions, just a pure feeling of overwhelming joy. That's how I know that I love you. I will always love you Jiyong.

I told my Ma about us, she was a little concerned about the judgement that we'd constantly have to put up with but I was going to tell her about how I could handle all that, how we could handle all that, just as long as we had each other. Now you're gone I have no idea how I'll cope. I'll manage though and I don't want you to feel pressured into talking to me, that's why I chose to write to you, you don't even have to reply.

I'm not sure what else to say, I just want to know where I stand with you.

I hope you're well. Please don't change for anyone, you're beautiful as you are.

All my love,

Seunghyun.

He sniffled, of course he was going to cry, of course he was going to feel so alone and tried, so unbelievably tired. Seunghyun folded the letter up and just before he could lean back and welcome sleep with closed eyes his bedroom door creaked open. He looked to the door and watched as his family entered the room, tears streaking their shaking cheeks, not one single word was offered as they sat on the bed and cuddled him. The trio fell backwards and without realising what was happening Mihyun slipped the letter from Seunghyun's hand and hid it away in her cardigan pocket. They cuddled and stayed that way for the rest of the night. For the first time in a long time Seunghyun felt grateful for his family, grateful that they hadn't given up on him and he made a promise with himself to never let them down again.

He needed them just as much as they needed him and he could now see this so clearly.

I'm still all alone,
How could this be?
You're not here with me,
You never said goodbye,
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go?
And leave my world so cold.

-Michael Jackson's You Are Not alone