Seunghyun thought long and hard about his next move. He was torn between fighting for Jiyong’s affection or finding him and telling him that everything they had was finished with so that they could both move on. It was horrible to be stuck in this endless time loop with each minute stretching, chipping away at, Seunghyun’s deteriorating hope.

The soft glow from the outside world tickled at Seunghyun’s cheeks, he shifted a little in the garden chair and tried to ignore the feeling. If he could stay like this forever then he would. Whenever Seunghyun sat out here he could still feel his Pa’s presence, just sat inches away from him lecturing his unknowing Son on the mysterious ways of the universe.

If he was here now what would he say?

Seunghyun imagined he’d tell him to find Jiyong, air their problems, and move on like responsible adults.

Opening his eyes Seunghyun sat up whilst letting a long drawn out sigh. What was holding Jiyong back? His parents? What was he so scared of? It wasn’t as if he completely relied on their support, Jiyong was independent and thanks to them he had a life of his own – so what exactly was the problem? Not having their approval? Did he really need it?

There were so many questions, so many unresolved issues, and so Seunghyun came up with his answer. He needed to speak to Jiyong and he needed to speak to him now.

Slipping his mobile out of his trouser pocket Seunghyun unlocked the phone and stared at it, oddly enough he had one new message which read:

Unknown Number: Hi Seunghyun! It’s me Bae ^--^ Sorry about the other day, just having problems that’s all. Do you wanna hang out sometime? I promise I’ll be chill, don’t worry about a thing. Oh and Mihyun gave me your number, before you think that I’m a freak or something. Anyway reply back ASAP and we’ll arrange something. xXx

Another sigh escaped Seunghyun. He liked Bae, really he did, but this guy… Seunghyun had no idea what to do…

Hi Bae, that’s O.K. We’ve all been there. Sure, do you wanna catch a film or something? I’m free whenever really.

The plan was if they watched a film neither person would need to talk and thus no more talking about Jiyong.

Bae: YES! Mihyun did give me the right number, phew -_-‘’’’’ I was worried for a minute there. Thought she might’ve been taking the piss, anyways sounds like a plan Batman! You wanna do something today? Do you wanna come to the apartment and I’ll meet you outside? Seeing as the cinema is closer to mine. xXx

Seunghyun had to read the message a couple of times before he understood what it meant, he wanted to kill Mihyun for this and he was sure that Bae was just trying to set him up. Fine, if that’s the game you want to play.

Sure thing, can you text me your address because I don’t know it. Thanks.

Pushing the chair back and climbing out of it Seunghyun grinned a little, a light feeling made him feel a little dizzy, and he wondered if he would see Jiyong. Then Seunghyun remembered something which caused all of his previous thoughts to falter; Bae is now single, Seunghyun is technically single, Bae is a gay man, Seunghyun is alone. What would Jiyong make of all this? And what was Bae’s plan?

Bae: Awesome! Here’s the address, I’ll see you soon! xXx

Overall Seunghyun wasn’t sure where this was going and he had a feeling that Bae was up to something but right now he didn’t care. He was bored, tired of borrowing Mihyun’s laptop to scroll through what felt like a never ending job search, and he was a little lonely.  Yeah he definitely felt lonely all right. What was he supposed to do when everyone else was rightfully at work?

It didn’t take long for Seunghyun to find Bae’s apartment and he managed to memorise a handy map from Google which meant that he could walk the entire way, rather than try to figure out the many different bus routes. He recognised the building as soon as he saw it and not wanting to go any further than the entrance Seunghyun stopped, tugged out his phone and texted back.

I’m here, are you ready yet?

A long awkward wait followed which caused Seunghyun to pace in the complexes foyer.

Bae: Can you come up? 4^th Floor, just having a personal crisis…

Seunghyun knew it! He damned well knew it “Aish! I’m going to kill that-” He shook his head and made his way over to the lift, whatever happened Seunghyun had to remain calm.

It was as if Seunghyun knew exactly where he was going and his feet seemed to move without any though or effort. It was like he was returning home, back to a beautifully familiar place, and he felt a little flicker of warmth tickle at his chest. Seunghyun couldn’t describe it but it felt right. He nervously tapped on the door a few times before a rather stressed looking Bae answered, the guy’s hair was a total fluffy mess and he was half dressed. Seunghyun immediately closed his eyes at the sight of Bae’s bare chest and he quickly felt a strong grip pull him by his shirt into the apartment.

“Sorry about this” Bae sounded completely drained “Had a fight with a certain someone and pulled a muscle in my chest, just gotta put some ice on it before we go. Oh and please open your eyes, you’ve got exactly what I have” Apprehensively Seunghyun did as he was told and he gasped at the purple hand sized bruise which was bulking out into a painful looking lump on the left side of Bae’s chest.

“Who did you fight with?” Seunghyun frowned trying to look at the bruise without being caught. Oh damn.

“Don’t worry about it” Bae shrugged catching Seunghyun’s gaze with his own “I shouldn’t stick my big nose into other people’s business” He plodded over to the freezer and pulled out a pack of ice “Just take a seat, I’ll be back in a mo” Seunghyun nodded and slowly sat down as he watched Bae wander off down the hallway. It was strange being back here but Seunghyun felt like he could handle it because he was here for Bae, this was Bae’s apartment.

Before Seunghyun could get too comfortable though he heard a familiar voice in the hallway and it sounded as if Bae had been stopped halfway down the hall, which meant that Seunghyun could just about hear the conversation.

“I’m sorry” Jiyong’s voice echoed down the hallway “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that”

“It’s fine” Bae flatly replied “I should just leave you alone and not care about my best friend’s problems, I get it…”

“Don’t be like that Bae, I can’t deal with this from you as well” Jiyong exhaled a noisy sigh “I just need some time”

“Yeah time, because we’ve got plenty of that” Bae’s voice switched to that scarily unfamiliar deep tone. “I don’t want to talk to you Ji ‘cause I’ve got a friend waiting for me in the living room and we’re heading out, excuse me”

“Bae please- wait- don’t be like this-” Jiyong’s voice pleaded as a door sharply slammed. The hallway fell back into silence and Seunghyun pretended to be occupying himself with a nearby magazine, he figured he could use it as a cover if Jiyong’s curiosity about Bae’s friend got the better of him.

It was like Seunghyun could predict the future because a few seconds later timid footsteps shuffled into the living room, Seunghyun quickly lifted the magazine to his face and used it as a shield – he didn’t want to upset Jiyong.

“Hi” Jiyong’s tender voice called from somewhere behind the magazine.

“Hello” Seunghyun replied switching his voice to a lighter sound.

“Pretty engrossed in that magazine huh?” Jiyong carried on talking “I love it, you know… fashion and stuff. So anyway how long have you known Bae?”

“Oh we go waaaay back” Seunghyun could near enough touch the magazine with his nose.

“Uh huh” There was a small awkward pause “Is there something wrong with your eyes?”

“No why?” Seunghyun immediately answered Jiyong’s strange question.

“Well because you’re holding the magazine so close to your face” Jiyong laughed as Seunghyun froze.

“Oh, um, yes- I’m short, I mean, short sighted and I can’t afford glasses…” He trailed off a stupid stammering response which only made Jiyong laugh harder.

“You’re an idiot Seunghyun” Jiyong’s laughter casually faded and Seunghyun hastily lowered the magazine from his face.

“How did you-you?” Seunghyun’s face flushed and he could just about feel the heat burn spread across his cheeks, fortunately he only peeked at Jiyong over the top of the magazine so the guy could just see his eyes. “I mean” Seunghyun cleared his throat “The only idiot here is you”

Youngbae sure knew how to time an entrance and before the argument could deepen he appeared like a genie, except he didn’t have three wishes and Seunghyun wanted him to bugger off again - though on the plus side he was properly dressed now.

“Ah I see you two have met before” Bae leisurely slid behind Jiyong and approached the sofa. “Come on Seunghyun we better be off the film will start soon” And before Seunghyun could enquire about which film they were actually seeing Bae reached out and grabbed one of Seunghyun’s hands, their fingers uncomfortably linked.

“You two are going to the cinema together?” Jiyong’s question was so quiet that Seunghyun almost missed it.

“Sure we are, it’s not nice to be left in the dark now is it Jiyong?” Bae still continued to talk as if he was doing nothing and Seunghyun couldn’t help but feel bad for Jiyong, he couldn’t bear that desperate look in the guy’s eyes. Although as Seunghyun was about to say something, anything, to rectify the situation Bae swiftly dragged him out of the front door.

Seunghyun had remained quiet all the way to the cinema, he just couldn’t think of anything other than that look which had haunted Jiyong’s eyes… Seunghyun found the sight utterly terrifying. Somehow Bae had managed to buy their tickets, get some strange slushy concoction and find two seats at the side of the cinema screen. They sat down with Bae in the chair nearest the aisle and Seunghyun in the chair beside him, these seats were usually referred to as the couple seats (just because they were one long row of double seats), but Seunghyun didn’t even notice. The film started and it was about some stupid love triangle; some distressed girl falls in love with two guys, two guys fight, guy A is total jerk but makes up for it because he’s good looking and guy B is total saint but needs a paper bag to be continuously shoved over his head, more fighting, girl finds out and decides that she’d rather be single, two guys run off into the sunset together… Or so that’s how Seunghyun imagined the ending of the film.

To be perfectly honest Seunghyun tried to pay attention to the film, to try and get that image of Jiyong out of his mind, but as the storyline dwindled into a dull mind numbing cheeriness he lost total track of what was going on. As yet another fight scene broke out Seunghyun quietly asked

“Was it your plan to make Jiyong jealous?” Bae suddenly snapped back into life and nearly dived into the aisle.

“God Seunghyun-! I-I-You trying to kill me?!” He breathlessly replied trying his steady his pulsing chest with a clasp hand.

“Well answer the question” Seunghyun still kept his voice to a low whisper.

“Maybe, maybe not” Bae shrugged sinking back into his chair “But Jiyong needs to open his eyes before it’s too late. Now shh… The dude’s about to confess”

So Seunghyun did exactly that, he kept quiet remaining that way until the credits had rolled and they had left the cinema.

“So what did you think of the film?” Bae asked as they walked side by side down the street.

“It was good” Seunghyun lied.

“Really?” Bae laughed “I didn’t know that you were a er for a happy ending” For a reason of which Seunghyun couldn’t describe he felt a little put down by this remark. “I totally saw that ending coming though, of course she was going to choose the nerd and live happily ever after, it just took her near enough two hours to realise that appearances aren’t everything. Stupid woman”

“Yeah” Seunghyun sheepishly laughed, so that was how the film had ended.

“You really weren’t paying attention were you?” Bae was obviously a mind reader and could read Seunghyun like a book. Bugger…

“Nope” Seunghyun honestly replied “Sorry” He added after Bae lightly sighed.

“It’s O.K I should’ve known that your mind would be elsewhere” He chuckled slightly “Don’t worry about it Seunghyun, honestly Jiyong will come to his senses soon he just has too” A reassuring hand patted at Seunghyun’s back. “Just wait for him. Oh and I” Bae stopped walking and pulled a bag off his back, Seunghyun hadn’t noticed it so he stopped to “I wanted to give you this, here” He reached into the bag and slid out Jiyong’s portfolio “This right here” Bae placed a hand on top of the familiar black folder “Is a promise to you Seunghyun, Jiyong will be this guy again and he’ll come back to you. I just know it” He tried to smile at Seunghyun who was little dumbfounded by the gesture. “I swear that he loves you still, I can just tell, so please whatever you do don’t give up on him” Eventually Seunghyun reacted to the gesture and with a slow smile he said

“I don’t think that I could give up on him, even if I wanted to.”

Seunghyun was going to fight.

He wasn’t ready to give up on the one person he truly loved, the person who had single-handedly warmed his life.

Seunghyun wrote a list, with this list he decided what steps he would take to show Jiyong that he wasn’t alone, and he would do whatever it took to make this list a reality. The first entry on his list read

“– Send Flowers”

And that’s how Seunghyun found himself lost within a local florist. He had no bloody clue why the red flowers were better than the blue ones and he had a little lady fussing his lugholes about the symbolism of colour.

“So who are they for? Your Mother? Relative? Or…” The Ahjumma smirked so widely that Seunghyun was a little scared. “A girlfriend…” Seunghyun’s face must’ve given him away because the lady started to laugh. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

There is no lucky girl you plonker. Seunghyun had to bite his cheeks to keep the snarky response from escaping his mouth.

“We should look at all the red flowers…” Dammit Seunghyun, why did couldn’t you just pick up a crappy bouquet from the supermarket? Why did you have to some effort into this? Before he could escape the Ahjumma grabbed him by the sleeve of his shoulder and tugged him further into the strongly fragranced wilderness. When the lady finally let go and bent down to grab a certain red flower to show Seunghyun he spoke

“Don’t you think that red roses are a little clichéd?” Apparently not, the lady shot him an evil glance.

“Do you think that tradition is a little clichéd?” She mocked rising to her feet and pressing a stern finger to Seunghyun’s forehead. “Yah! Answer me”

“Erm, uh, hm, erm, no…” Seunghyun trailed off.

“Do you think that celebrating love is a little clichéd? Do you think that buying someone flowers is a little clichéd? Do you think that my business is a little clichéd?”

“Yeah-” You just had to answer that question didn’t you? Idiot!

“Yah you young things, so rude, no time for love, always looking for something better, never having a phone long enough, everything’s disposable to you…” She poked Seunghyun’s now throbbing forehead a couple more times before giving him a swift smack around the side of his head.

“Hey! What an earth was that for?!” A hand shot up to try to soothe the sharp pain which was now jolting itself through Seunghyun’s brain.

“Now you listen to me boy” She grabbed him again and tugged him off into a different direction “The rose is a symbol of beauty, of love and of struggle. Can you see how its beautiful petals contrast with the razor sharp thorns on its stem?” Seunghyun could only nod in response he suddenly couldn’t trust his mouth around this rather violent Ahjumma. “That describes love in its purest form, it’s beautiful but it hurts” She rambled on and on about what love was as if Seunghyun didn’t know, as if his face didn’t fall at her well thought out words.

In the end Seunghyun paid for a bunch of red and white roses, which according to the lady symbolised love and purity, and he near enough ran out of the shop just to escape the woman. He made a mental note to himself to never come here again.

“Jiyong Kwon you are going to kill me” Seunghyun sighed as he started walking to Jiyong’s apartment. Last night when he had written the list, after returning home from his little cinema adventure with Bae, Seunghyun decided that he would try to carry out all the entries with as much secrecy as possible. He didn’t want to force Jiyong into anything and he wanted to send his support in a subtle way.

When Seunghyun reached Jiyong’s apartment he quickly shuffled into the lift and keyed in the button for the 4^th floor. Once there he checked the little note that the Ahjumma had forced him to write and smiled, gently he rested the bouquet on the floor. The note read:

“To Yongie, You’re wonderful. x”

Well, he didn’t want to say too much did he? Noisily Seunghyun bashed on the door then bolted around the corner, just before the stairs. He carefully watched as Jiyong’s apartment door opened and his heart must’ve skipped a few beats because Seunghyun found that he was no longer breathing. A tired looking Jiyong hesitantly peeked around the door and his mouth fell open at the sight of the flowers. He fully opened the door and knelt down, scooping the bouquet off the floor and reading the note. Seunghyun smirked as a smile spread across Jiyong’s face but then something strange happened, Jiyong picked the flowers up and looked around the corridor once again before he burst into tears. He took a minute to cry then walked back through his already opened door and slammed it shut.

At least Jiyong took the flowers, Seunghyun sighed as he ran a shaking hand across his sweaty forehead.

Entry Two, Day Two.

Item number two was going to be a little bit more difficult. Chocolates, Seunghyun had absolutely no idea what Jiyong would like…

So Seunghyun wandered aimlessly around a little sweet shop trying with all his might to not be distracted by his own softly rumbling stomach. He eyed up all the various sweets, stacks upon stacks of jars which lined the differing shelves. Seunghyun could do this, he knew he could, he just had to use the process of elimination.

Jiyong liked sweet things, he definitely had a sweet tooth, so that eliminated the bitter taste of dark chocolate. Although would Jiyong prefer the overly sweet substance of white chocolate or would he be a middle man, like Seunghyun, who preferred plain dairy chocolate? There was no way on this planet that Jiyong was middle man. Far from it, Seunghyun assumed that Jiyong was from some sort of neighbouring galaxy, the two didn’t even share the same solar system…

This meant that Jiyong just had to be a white chocolate kind of guy so Seunghyun filled his little wooden basket with a ridiculous amount of white chocolate bars. Sure it was a little over budget but Seunghyun didn’t mind, he was living in the moment so savings didn’t matter. Anyway Seunghyun was sure that he would find a job soon, he just had too.

Heading back to Jiyong’s apartment Seunghyun tried to run, he didn’t want the chocolate to melt and he had to keep looking through his selection of paper bags just to check that they were whole. Finally Seunghyun reached his goal and clambered back into the lift, whilst there he pulled out a pen from his pocket (which might’ve been borrowed from the violent Ahjumma) and scribbled on one of the chocolate bars.

“You’re sweet x”

Round two.

Seunghyun fished the receipt out of one of the bags and crammed it into his pocket before he placed the bags in front of Jiyong’s door. Quickly he ran back to his hiding place, watching as Jiyong opened the door and sighed. The guy’s eyes immediately fell to the bags and he rolled his eyes, bending down to have a quick look through the bags. He lifted the bar that Seunghyun had written on from the bag and burst out laughing

“Bingu” Jiyong lightly sang under his breath which made Seunghyun’s chest clench up. He shook his head several times before lifting the bags from the floor and struggling to balance them and himself back through the door. Seunghyun silently cheered, raising his fists into the air and dancing a little.

He was going to win.

Day Three – Teddy Bears.

The toy shop was every grown adult’s worst nightmare but to Seunghyun it was like a second home and he easily navigated his way through the crowds of excited children and restless parents. He passed the children’s section and found himself deep within the place he called “Toys-made-for-adults-because-they’re-too-proud-to-admit-that-they-still-like-to-have-fun Area”

Glancing around Seunghyun’s eyes were truly dazzled by sight of shelves stuffed with bears and lined with more expensive looking toys. He immediately picked up a dinosaur and poked its wide open jaw, pretending that he was being eaten by the stuffed green thing. A small distressed scream suddenly intruded the moment and Seunghyun swirled around to face the child, it started to howl and Seunghyun quickly put the dinosaur back on the shelf, kneeling down on one knee to equal himself to the child’s height.

“What’s wrong?” He asked wanting to reach out and hug the kid but knowing that it would make him look like a total ert. The kid’s crying halted and the little boy sniffled “Don’t cry, it’s not allowed in the fun toy shop” The boy seemed to perk up at Seunghyun’s words.

“I got scared” The little kid wiped his snotty nose on his blue and red striped woolly jumper causing Seunghyun to smile.

“And why did you get scared?” He kindly asked.

“Well I used to come here with Appa and Appa’s gone now and Umma is somewhere and I’m-” The kid sniffled “I’m lost”

“It’s O.K. I’ll help you find your Appa” Seunghyun reached out and gently squeezed the boy’s arm. “But I have one condition”

“What is it?” The boy’s face looked crestfallen and he sniffled again.

“You can’t cry anymore” Seunghyun smirked when the little boy’s face lit up and he lightly nudged the boy’s nose with the tip of his index finger.

“O.K I promise to smile!” Before Seunghyun could stand back up again the kid ran right up to him and latched his arms around Seunghyun’s neck. Now normally Seunghyun wouldn’t condone such a thing but the kid was tearful again and so he just naturally picked the kid up, resting him on a hip, then walked off. As they walked around the shop to search for the boy’s parents Seunghyun figured he should ask some questions to try and keep the boy preoccupied.

“What’s your name kid?” Seunghyun gently jogged the kid and the little boy gave him a toothy little laugh.

“Yonghyun” The kid did a cute mini salute which made Seunghyun laugh.

“Well my name’s Seunghyun” He jogged Yonghyun again “Our names are quite similar, don’t you think?” The boy eagerly nodded. “So what do your parents look like Yonghyun?” That sullen look returned to the boy’s face and he lowered his head to Seunghyun’s shoulder.

“Appa looks like me but big, looks more like you” Yonghyun pinched at Seunghyun’s shoulder, the older out of the two wondered if the topic made him sad or if he was just trying to balance himself in Seunghyun’s grip. When the latter heard a sniffle a second later he had his answer

“Now, now, no tears little Hyun” Seunghyun kept a hand on the kid’s back and used his free hand to cup the back of the kid’s head. “So what does our Umma look like?”

“Really pretty” Yonghyun answered through a smaller sniffle “Long hair like Pocahontas” Aaw Seunghyun couldn’t help but smile at how sweet this kid was.

“Well we’ll find them” Seunghyun patted the kid’s head “Just you hold onto me and we’ll find them in no time at all…”

- Half an hour later –

Finally Seunghyun spotted a long haired lady who quickly ran up to him, tears flooded her delicate face, and she reached out for her Son. Seunghyun passed Yonghyun back to his Mother and they both cried into each other’s shoulders.

“I thought I’d lost you!” The woman trembled, clutching her Son with all her might. Seunghyun’s chest felt heavy at the sight but before he could think too much into it the woman looked up at him. “Thank you! Thank you so much! How can I-How”

“It’s alright” Seunghyun spoke over her “You don’t have to thank me”

“Oh but I do” The woman tucked her Son’s tired head under her chin “What’s your name?”

“Seunghyun” He dubiously replied, wondering if he should share this information with a total stranger.

“My name’s Dami, thank you so much for returning my Son to me” She reached out a hand and Seunghyun politely shook it. “I’ve been so lost since my Husband passed, I try to bring him here to help him remember his Appa but this time he ran away” She sighed and squeezed her Son again, who looked as if he was asleep right now.

“Ah I’m so sorry to hear that” Seunghyun bowed his head in respect. So Yonghyun was looking for his Father who was no longer here? Seunghyun knew the feeling all too well.

“Thank you, it’s been almost two months and the little one is still grieving, we both are” Dami looked truly exhausted and all Seunghyun wanted to do was help this poor lady. He knew exactly what her Son was going through and he felt that weight on his chest again. “I know this might sound a little funny but did you want to grab a coffee or something? Just, you know, as a thank you”

“Don’t worry about it” Seunghyun quickly replied “You don’t have to thank me-”

“Oh but I do” The woman looped one arm with Seunghyun’s and started to drag him out of shop, well he could always resume his shop later and really what would happen? It would be nice to speak with another human being for a while. “I know a great place around the corner” She continued to tug him and he glanced sideways at her, something about her looked oddly familiar, he felt comfortable around her which was weird…

Dami quite literally knew a great place around the corner and all they had to do was turn down the opposing street before they were entering the coffee shop. This was more like it, Seunghyun breathed out a weighty sigh of relief and followed Dami up to the counter, the place was small but it was spaced out and it was empty.

“What would you like? I recommend the Latte Special” Seunghyun abruptly saw the woman in a different light, he was momentarily awestruck at just how beautiful she looked, it was strange but Seunghyun swore he’d seen a face like hers before.

“I’ll try that then” Seunghyun smirked

“Great! Could you take Yonghyun and find us a seat?” He nodded to her question and happily held the sleeping boy in his arms. Just as Seunghyun was about to walk away from the till the barista leaned over and merrily pointed out

“Your family is very beautiful” Seunghyun didn’t even turn around, he carried on walking, whilst Dami replied

“Ah no, he’s just a friend”

That reply meant a lot to Seunghyun and he smiled. A friend. He gently sat down, about to place Yonghyun on the chair next to him when the boy let out a small groan and buried himself further into Seunghyun’s chest. Man, this was one strong kid.

“Appa” The little boy mumbled snuggling against Seunghyun, he felt that overwhelming weight against his chest again however, it wasn’t because of the sudden closeness created by the boy’s head it was actually because he just couldn’t bring himself to correct the child. Sighing Seunghyun only brought Yonghyun closer to him and cupped the back of his head.

Two minutes later Dami appeared sliding a little wooden tray onto the table then bowing and saying

“Here is your coffee Sir” A coy smile framed Dami’s delicate features as she sat in front of Seunghyun.

“Thank you” Seunghyun politely returned her smile. There was still something familiar about her…

“It seems like Yonghyun’s made a new friend” She giggled whilst taking a teaspoon from the tray and loading an unhealthy amount of sugar into what Seunghyun assumed (from the smell) was tea.

“Ah” He worried for a minute “It’s, uh, erm-”

“Don’t worry about it” Dami’s giggle lightened into a gleaming smile. “It’s nice you know, normally people are like eurgh get your stupid kid away from me, so it’s nice, really nice” Lifting her tea up she blew on it before taking a small sip.

“Well I don’t think he’s stupid” Seunghyun debated whether it was safe to reach for his coffee with the boy still in his arms. “Actually he’s rather beautiful” He decided against it and ran a gentle hand along the small boy’s back. “How old is he?”

“He just turned four last month” Dami took another sip of tea. “So you said your name is Seunghyun right? Tell me more about the kind stranger sitting in front of me?” She playfully winked then leaned back a little in her chair.

“There’s not much to say” Seunghyun shyly replied “I’m just a boring person really”

“Oh come off it!” Dami giggled again “What were you doing in a toy shop then? Do you have a kid of your own or something?” Seunghyun gulped at the question.

“No, no kid, I mean…” He replied flustered “I was just looking for a gift, for a friend” Seunghyun looked down at his coffee and pretended that the sight fascinated him.

“Oh?” Dami paused for a minute allowing a slightly awkward silence to fill the space between them. “Oooh…” Bingo. “Was she very important to you?” The question caused Seunghyun to look back up at her.

“He was” Seunghyun replied without any hesitation then realised what he said and looked away. Another silence filled the air, allowing Dami a moment to think, and it was her voice that eventually broke the silence.

“What happened?” She sounded upset and Seunghyun felt a hand brush against his own, it was his one free hand which rested against the table after failing to reach his coffee cup. Yet again Seunghyun was stunned by the question and his gaze moved upwards. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me anything, I’m sorry”

“No it’s not that” Seunghyun cleared his throat and Yonghyun shuffled slightly, his head now resting against Seunghyun’s shoulder. “It’s just, I said he and you-”

“Seunghyun” Dami cleared her own throat then leaned a little across the table. “After losing my soul mate, the one person who meant the world to me, well, I’ve come to understand that any love is better than nothing at all. And honestly if it makes you happy, you should be proud of it” She squeezed his hand again then leaned back in her chair. “Besides you really can’t choose who you fall in love with, that’s why so many people struggle with love because, well it would be so much easier if we could just choose. Am I right?” She started to giggle again and Seunghyun exhaled a breath which he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yeah” Seunghyun nodded, unsure of how to reply. He wished that Jiyong thought so.

“So tell me all about him, I want to hear everything” Dami smirked as she sipped her tea.

“How long have you got?” There was an odd bitterness to Seunghyun’s voice but he tried to disguise it with a small amused laugh.

“All day for the stranger who brought my Son back to me and come on, I owe you one now” Dami was too kind, too nice and Seunghyun was starting to dislike her for it. He didn’t want to end up blubbering like some love-struck idiot but there was something about Dami which made him want to talk.

“The coffee is enough” Seunghyun quickly replied holding Yonghyun closer as he leaned forward and braved a sip of his coffee, wow it was delicious. Dami shook her head and gave him a stern look

“What’s his name?” Seunghyun sighed as he set the mug back down on its little useless plate. “Come on I’m not giving up so spill”

And spill he did.

Seunghyun briefly told her an abridged version of how he had met Jiyong, about how this guy had quickly changed his life and just as quickly left it. Dami was the perfect listener, she seemed to nod, say something with understanding, and finally once he’d finished his sorry story she reached across the table and linked their hands together.

“That’s so unfair” She sighed finishing her tea off “What’s his name and I’ll track him down?”

“It’s fine” Seunghyun shook his head “I don’t want to bother him”

“O.K tell me his first name then and I’ll stop” She laughed giving Seunghyun’s hand a comforting squeeze before releasing him and setting her empty teacup back on the tray.

“Fine” Seunghyun rolled his eyes “It’s Jiyong, that’s all I’m saying” Dami’s eyes abruptly looked rather different, they widened a little but not enough for Seunghyun to be able to subtly point it out, and she looked thoughtful for a minute. Seunghyun was about to ask when she spoke up

“I used to have a Brother called Jiyong” Dami sighed and sunk in on herself, her shoulders slumped over and she stared down, eyes fixed on her teacup.

“You did?” Seunghyun almost laughed at the coincidence.

“Yeah to cut a long story short I went away to Australia for a while, where I met my Husband actually, and when I returned he was just gone. According to our parents” She froze for a minute and then gulped, hard. “Well they said that he’d, he’d committed, suicide”

“I’m so sorry Dami” Seunghyun sighed and now it was his turn to reach out for her hand and hold it.

“Don’t be” She shook her head and somehow composed herself “I genuinely couldn’t believe it, my little brother would have never done such a thing, he was a fighter through and through. Nowadays I still feel numb to it, my parents never gave him a proper funeral, we’re not allowed to talk about it and I just” She faltered again “It doesn’t seem real, I like to think that he’s on holiday somewhere” A faint smile greeted Seunghyun which only made him squeeze her hand tighter. “Then a couple of months ago my Husband passed away and it just reminded me of how clueless I am, I can’t even look after my own Son”

“Hey don’t say that” Seunghyun offered her a comforting smile and she reflected it. “This boy of yours is beautiful and he couldn’t possibly be this way without you. It must be so hard for you to do this all on your own” She started to tear up at Seunghyun’s words and wiped her eyes. “Do you have a phone?” His question caused Dami to force back the tears.

“Yeah I do” She took it out of her pocket, Seunghyun sighed in relief, it was a simple phone.

“Well then” He clicked her address book and added his number “Whenever you need some help give me a call, I don’t care about what time of day it is, and we can look after each other” Seunghyun passed her phone back and she smiled, properly this time though a few tears still smudged the corners of her eyes. When Seunghyun leaned back in his chair he felt Yonghyun wiggle and both adults were surprised to see that the child was awake, eyes wide with happiness.

“Umma’s smiling” Yonghyun’s soft voice sang across the table.

“That’s because we have a friend baby” Dami watched with a curling grin as Seunghyun lifted her Son up and turned him on his lap to face his Mama.

“Yay! A friend!” Yonghyun knocked the back of his head against Seunghyun’s chest causing everyone to laugh. “I like him Umma!”

“Well I’m glad I have your approval” Seunghyun chuckled nuzzling his chin against the boy’s now still head. It felt weird to Seunghyun, he’d never felt so comfortable around people before let alone children but the feeling just came naturally to him.

Soon it was time for Seunghyun and Dami to part, with Dami telling him that they should meet up regularly to which Seunghyun quite happily agreed to. Yonghyun was currently standing up holding his Mother’s hand and Seunghyun knelt down in front of him to say goodbye.

“Little Hyun” He started by ruffling up the boy’s hair “I want you to look after your Umma because she’s a very special lady” Yonghyun nodded.

“Big Hyun!” Yonghyun smirked and slid his hand from his Mother’s “I’ll miss you!” The little boy leapt forward and wrapped his arms around Seunghyun, cobra style.

“I’ll miss you too” Seunghyun laughed at the sweet surprise. “And I’m sure my shirt will miss you too” He added as all eyes fell on the small dampness which the little tyke had left behind.

“Bye Big Hyun!” Yonghyun shuffled back over to his Mother and Dami wrapped Seunghyun into a tight embrace just as he returned to his feet.

“I’m sorry about your shirt” She said once they parted.

“Don’t worry about it” Seunghyun smiled when he noticed that Yonghyun was looking at them both as if he was about to be told off. “It’s not every day that I get have lovely cuddles” He ruffled Yonghyun’s hair again “Oh and don’t forget to call me” Seunghyun added offering Dami one last smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget! See you later Seunghyun!” Dami grinned then turned to walk the opposite way down the street to Seunghyun, Yonghyun briefly turned around to offer Seunghyun an enthusiastic wave of which Seunghyun quite happily returned. He grinned all the way home and for the rest of the evening, deciding that tomorrow he’d resume his list.

After a while Seunghyun’s energy to complete the list was drained by an entirely new enterprise. His job hunt was picking up and he’d been contacted by a couple of prospective employers, his emails had doubled and suddenly there was this strange influx of offers. So much so that Seunghyun couldn’t do much else. A month had passed since Seunghyun had last seen Jiyong and he was slowly getting used to the idea of never seeing him again. Of course over the month he slowly became a little too preoccupied and one day he mindlessly tossed the list into the nearest bin. Seunghyun still had a little bit of hope left but between emails, interviews, housework and weekly meeting up with Dami he had no time to himself to even consider his next move, let alone make it.

Meeting up with Dami, for Seunghyun, was a day of total peace and the two would take Yonghyun out on trips. Every Friday they would meet without fail, go out somewhere, then eat some ridiculously unhealthy takeout at her apartment. Dami didn’t live that far from Seunghyun and he was able to walk to it within twenty minutes, this meant that the two became extremely close rather quickly. Seunghyun loved it because Dami genuinely wanted to be Seunghyun’s friend, she would call him up or text him during the week, and the pair would help each other feel less lonely. Dami’s friendship meant a lot to Seunghyun and he cherished the time that he spent with them both.

Today was a big day for Seunghyun, it was Friday and whilst Dami had called Seunghyun swore he felt his phone ring again and again and again. Eventually he had to end the call to Dami (with a string of hasty apologies) before he answered the call, Seunghyun almost dropped the phone at who was calling.

“Seunghyun, Seunghyun Choi?”

“Yes can I help you?” Seunghyun’s voice nervously trembled.

“Yes, it’s Mr. Lee from Key’s Bookstore, my Son showed me your online job profile and I was wondering if you would like to come in for an interview?” An interview? Seunghyun beamed an actual face to face interview and not one of those stupid phone conversations. “Mr. Choi your answer please?”

“Sure, yeah, I’d be delighted!” Seunghyun stammered back.

“Amazing! So would you be able to come in on Monday?”

“Of course” Seunghyun remembered the next orders as if they were ancient scripture.

“Remarkable! Well I’ll see you at 9:30 on Monday morning, have a good day Mr. Choi”

“Thank you so much Sir! I’ll see you then!” And with that the call ended. Seunghyun jumped up and down then realised that he was bursting to tell someone. Although he couldn’t phone his Ma or Mihyun because they were at work and they’d surely kill him for doing that, so he called Dami back. “Guess what just happened?” Seunghyun started to pace across the kitchen.

“What? What? What?” Dami fired back but her excitement couldn’t outdo Seunghyun’s.

“I just got a job interview!” A massive cheer down the line let Seunghyun know that this was definitely good news.

“See! I told you it’d happen!” Dami still cheered and sound of the phone conversation switched which, Seunghyun knew, meant that he was now on speaker phone. “Yon Bon~!” This was Dami’s nickname for Yonghyun “Did you hear that? Yunnie has a job interview” Seunghyun laughed as Yonghyun would have no idea what that meant but the kid still cheered.

“Yaaaaay Yunnie!”

“Baby tell Big Hyun how excited you are about our adventure today?” Dami affectionately sang as a bag rustled leaving Seunghyun to assume that she was packing up for the day ahead.

“How excited are you little one?” Seunghyun urged Yonghyun on. “Are you a little teeny tiny bit excited or are you SUPER DUPER MEGA EXCITED?!” This was Seunghyun’s little routine, every Friday morning he’d psych Yonghyun up from his sleep and effectively distract him whilst Dami sorted herself out and readied herself for the day. He just hoped that the little guy would never figure out how to hang up the phone.

“I’m big excited!” Yonghyun squealed with an added hand clap for extra emphasis.

“Well you’ll be even more excited when I tell you where we’re going” Seunghyun chortled as he glanced down at the piece of paper which his Ma had left on the counter top.

“Oh?” Dami’s voice re-entered the fray.

“I was just thinking, maybe, we could go, I mean it’s not much-” Seunghyun got a little lost in his words and sighed.

“Anywhere is perfect by our standards” Dami laughed and Yonghyun clapped his hands again.

“I was thinking that maybe we stay right in the city, and do some shopping, or something, I mean you might think it’s boring but-”

“It sounds perfect” Dami lightly giggled “I did say that anywhere is perfect”

“Great” Seunghyun sighed, to be fair he was running out of ideas mainly because Dami was a little indecisive which meant that Seunghyun had to make all the decisions. He didn’t mind and secretly he rather enjoyed picking out fun places to go, though you can only visit the fun places so many times before they too become a tad boring.

“I’ll be round soon then!” Dami declared before saying goodbye. Seunghyun was about to put his phone away when it buzzed again, he had a text which read:

Bae: Hi Seunghyun! It’s your best friend…lol… How are you? What have you been up too? It’s been a while, give me a call or something. Bae xXx

Seunghyun rolled his eyes, persistent little bugger, he laughed as he returned to his room to finish getting ready.

As soon as Little Hyun saw Big Hyun the boy jumped up into Seunghyun’s arms and nuzzled at the man’s neck. Seunghyun planted a huge kiss on the side of Yonghyun’s head and the boy giggled

“Has my little man been good this week?” Seunghyun asked before receiving a quick kiss on the cheek from Dami.

“Yes I have!” Yonghyun’s giggle deepened as Dami laughed

“Is that right Umma?” Seunghyun looked at Dami who winked.

“I’m not too sure…” She acted with a loud sigh

“Umma!” Yonghyun glared at his Mother who chucked to herself. “I have been good! Honest! Yunnie pleaseeeeee!” Seunghyun laughed too and jogged Yonghyun on his hip. He didn’t reply for minute as he followed Dami down his garden path and out onto the street. “Yunnieeeeeee!” Yonghyun whined poking at Seunghyun’s head

“What’s the magic word?” Seunghyun finally replied shooting a secret smile sideways to Dami who was already silently laughing.

“Pleaseeeee!” Yonghyun puffed his cheeks out and pouted.

“Well since you asked so nicely…” Seunghyun couldn’t contain his laughter anymore and as he lifted the boy up into the air he laughed. Yonghyun squealed with excitement then pretended to fly

“Wooooohoooooooooooo!” Yonghyun called from the sky.

“Dami do you see that?” Seunghyun asked halting in his tracks and waving Yonghyun in the air which incited a sharp giggle from the child.

“Is that Superman I see?” Dami gasped expertly feigning shock.

“Oh no!” Seunghyun gasped too “Superman’s out of fuel, oh no! He’s falling” He threw Yonghyun up into the air then quickly caught him. “Got you!” They spun around and Yonghyun couldn’t decide whether he found this funny or scary so he sort of half snorted a supressed laugh. Seunghyun tickled him then set him down on the ground “Now hold your Umma’s hand and lets go” Doing exactly what he was told, so that next Friday he could be Superman again, Yonghyun held Dami’s hand tightly. Just as they were about to resume their walk down the street Seunghyun felt a small hand hook itself around his little finger and he smiled down at Yonghyun.

“Umma and Big Hyun” Yonghyun contently sighed.

“That’s right little baby” Dami smiled at Seunghyun who returned her bright smile, they set off heading for a nice day out.

The day was bright though the cool wind kept the sun at bay and Seunghyun thoroughly enjoyed spending time like this, out in the fresh air lapping up all the scenery and buzz. Sometimes he still hated being outside, he still felt that strange twinge in the pit of his stomach, but being with friendly people, having someone there, helped. And the little reassuring grip from Yonghyun on Seunghyun’s little finger kept that support present, continuous. The trio started the day with a walk around the main streets, ducking and diving into shops which captured their interests. It was fun and not too tiring, having a young child about made Seunghyun feel as if he was seeing the world again for the first time. Whenever Yonghyun was about to burst into tears or stamp his feet at the beginning of a typical child tantrum Seunghyun found that he could easily entertain the child and, much to Dami’s relief, prevent the outbursts from happening.

As of right now another tantrum threatened to spill over and Yonghyun’s bottom lip wiggled with anticipation, it was obvious that he was trying to get a reaction from Dami who was busy looking at children’s clothes. Seunghyun quickly sprang into action, picking Yonghyun up and giving Dami a reassuring pat on the back

“I’ll be five minutes” Seunghyun whispered as Dami nodded her head. He carried Yonghyun out of the shop and preoccupied the child’s mind by pulling stupid faces whilst he scanned the nearby shops, he remembered seeing a little ice cream bar on their travels so Seunghyun walked to it. Once inside Yonghyun wearily looked around, trying to soak up all the bright colours amongst the turquoise walls, and Seunghyun carried him up to the counter. He ordered a little sundae and balanced it along with Yonghyun until he found a small table to sit at, once there he sighed out in relief. Yonghyun didn’t want to sit in his own chair so he stayed on Seunghyun’s lap and as he munched away on the ice cream Yonghyun hummed a tiny sound of happy appreciation.

“Now Yonghyun you mustn’t be mean to your Umma like that” Seunghyun lectured now that he had the child’s full attention. “She’s just trying to do her best for you, you understand that right?” Yonghyun nodded as he crammed another strawberry spoonful into his mouth. “When we go back you have to apologise to her”

“Sorry Yunnie, I will” Yonghyun mumbled, a little embarrassed by the telling off but not wanting to react because he knew that Seunghyun could take away his ice cream. “And thank you for the ice cream” He added.

“It’s no trouble at all” Seunghyun tried to lighten the mood by kissing the back of Yonghyun’s head, he giggled in response

“Yunnie that tickles!”

“Good” Seunghyun blew a puff of air against the kid’s hair and he squirmed a little, luckily Seunghyun had his arms wrapped around Yonghyun so that the little guy couldn’t move. “And remember if you’re mean like that again I’ll have to tickle you yet again” They both laughed.

“Yunnie I’ll behave” Yonghyun sighed, releasing the last of his laughter.

“Are you getting tired little one?” Seunghyun asked raising his hand to catch the spoon as Yonghyun dropped it.

“Yeah” He slowly replied with a huge yawn which perfectly justified his response. “But I want ice cream” Yonghyun went to grab the spoon but instead held Seunghyun’s hand, the boy’s usual vice grip was pretty much non-existent right now.

“How about we make a deal” Seunghyun smiled despite the fact that Yonghyun couldn’t see him. “Why don’t I feed you the rest of your ice cream and you promise me that you’ll behave for the rest of the day?”

“O.K.” Yonghyun turned his head to look at Seunghyun and smiled. “I promise to be good”

“That’s my little Superman” Seunghyun’s smile widened into a full out grin “Now open wide~ Incoming!”

“Ah…..” Yonghyun hummed as he received his first spoonful. Several spoonful’s later and the sundae dish was empty leaving a contented Yonghyun to turn on his side and snuggle into Seunghyun’s arms. For a moment Seunghyun left him and quickly texted Dami, as he was texting her he felt as if someone was watching him. He looked around the ice cream parlour after sending the text but there was no one, then he looked out of the window and caught a quick glimpse of someone swiftly moving out of the way and hiding. Seunghyun shook the feeling off and waited for Dami’s arrival, every now and again he’d look outside, just to check, and there would still be nothing. He shrugged, it was probably just someone looking at the menu on the window or something...

Now that you've left me, there's no returning,
I keep comparing, you're always winning,
I try to be strong but you'll never be more wanted
Will you make me at home?

Don't tell me you have to go...

In the heat of summer sunshine,
I miss you like nobody else.

- The Corrs Summer Sunshine