Chapter 25: “I can’t breathe without you, but I have to- Taylor Swift”

-o0o-

The weekend blew swiftly like a typhoon, and Monday arrived immediately. As usual, since he had been used to his schedule, Kyuhyun woke up six in the morning, fuzzily getting up from bed. He shoved his comforters aside, rubbing his eyes in sheer terror. Two nights, two sleepless nights, his insomnia had gotten worse, because of Sijoong’s incomparable shrieks at night. He didn’t know what time it stopped last night and he wanted to know how Seohyun could stand that annoying sound.

As he opened the door, he could smell rice from the kitchen. He entered, seeing Seohyun on the countertop writing something on her white notebook. Lazily, his steps plodded, heavy they were that the woman looked up with a smile on her face. He ignored this totally, went to the living room and opened the television. All throughout the weekend, having 48 hours of silence, talking to each other was prohibited because Kyuhyun always found other ways to busy himself. When Seohyun tried starting the conversation, he would nod at her and enter his study, hide in there without anything to do. His life had gotten even sicker, appearing more like a silent movie rather than a romantic one as what Sungmin initially thought.

Seohyun, unable to wait any longer, advanced towards him, bowing her head as she sat next to him on the couch. He was watching the early news.

“Is...something wrong?” she asked, stammering.

He sighed roughly. “Aside from having my ex-wife and her son live with me under the same roof, I don’t see what else could go wrong.”

She smiled at his sarcasm, nearing him. “Do you want to eat breakfast now? I’ve fried some eggs and made rice.”

“You? Cook?” He laughed at the idea, Seohyun insulted. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

“You haven’t even tried it yet,” she reasoned out. “These past two days, you’ve been taking in processed food. You just order stuff, isn’t that bad for your health? It’s better to eat homemade ones.”

He nodded, turning the TV off. “You’re right.”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Seohyun concluded, following him to the dining area.

“If I don’t do that, we’ll be killing each other here,” Kyuhyun agreed, getting two plates from the cupboards. Along with it, he took two cups, two packets of coffee, and then, hurriedly heated his thermostat.

He turned around, seeing Seohyun waiting for his explanation, her eyebrows nearly touching each other.

“I just want some peace, Seo,” he replied, hardly noticing the name he used, but naively Seohyun did.

She smiled, understanding of the situation. “You called me Seo.”

Kyuhyun focused more on getting the eggs from the pan, heaving them to a platter. After that, he took the rice and placed it on a bowl, and then set them accordingly in the middle of the dining table. Seohyun helped as well, realizing how humiliating it was for the man to be doing all the kitchen work. When it was hot enough, he poured the two cups with enough water, spilling coffee into each. He added a spoon of sugar to his, while staring at Seohyun before he made hers.

“Two spoons, please.”

And he added that instruction. Afterwards, he searched for the creamer, sprinkled a few to make the dark brown into hazel, and served to the table. With that blush tracing by her cheeks, she couldn’t help but giggle as she sat down across Kyuhyun who started eating.

“I can’t believe you called me Seo,” she repeated again, also getting some rice to her own plate.

He wasn’t looking up. “That is your name, right? You can’t expect me to be calling you Mrs. Jung Joohyun.”

She knew that as well. “He calls me Hyun. But...I remember now. You called me by my surname.”

“You just call me oppa,” Kyuhyun recalled. “You call him oppa, too. I don’t really find it significant at all. It doesn’t mean a thing.”

“Oh...but you’re wrong,” Seohyun replied softly. “Didn’t I call you, sweetie? Or honey? Or darling? Sweetheart? My maknae? My Kyuhyun? Prince? My gamer? I bet dear was the most used. Oh...and Chagiya just wouldn’t be out of the picture.”

He couldn’t help but smile, the muscles by his face seemed rather involuntary nowadays. He stopped eating halfway, then remembering those pet names Seohyun mentioned. He looked up, seeing her smile brighter. As slowly she drank her coffee, Kyuhyun also took a sip of his own, still eyeing her.

“Let me see you try and call me those now,” he dared and she shook her head, grinning.

Her heartbeat paced from the highest to the lowest, striking so loftily to the very depths of her emotions. She just wouldn’t be able to tell whether Kyuhyun needed to hear these things from her.

“I will have to wash my tongue with soap,” Seohyun put it as that, Kyu chuckling as he rolled his eyes.

“It won’t come off with just soap,” Kyuhyun said. “You should put all sorts of cleaning stuff, like deodorant or dishwashing soap. Acid is also highly suggested to really make sure your tongue won’t say them again. Oh...but don’t you call Yonghwa by these words too?”

“I can’t call him with those,” Seohyun playfully answered. “They’re only for you. I can’t call him my maknae because he never has been the maknae in his dorm. I can’t call him My Kyuhyun because you’re the only Kyuhyun I know. I can’t call him Prince, because he prefers to be the King. He isn’t a gamer, but he’s a rock star. Dear, sweetie, honey...the usual stuff.”

He just nodded, as if understanding. “And compared to all those stuff, are you sure I just called you Seo?”

“Seohyun, Joohyun, Seo...” she enumerated a few, trying to remember. “I really can’t tell if you used baby or what. I don’t know. I think you didn’t have that guts to use them.”

“I sound awful,” Kyuhyun remarked, Seohyun giggling at the truth. “Are you sure I never said those? How could you ever marry me like that? I never learned to call you Chagiya? Not even once?”

She shook her head plainly, weak now that she was unable to stare at him. She went back to finishing her meal, disregarding his questions that brought agitated pain. How could he just observe that two years after their divorce? Was it normal for husbands to be thinking of their mistakes after the stage? Perhaps that was how it should always be, since regrets never come first.

Kyuhyun was shocked. He was so sure that he had given Seohyun everything, how could he be leaving behind things like that? No wonder she would break up with him.

He placed his spoon and fork together before getting up. He bowed his head gracelessly. “I’m going to the office now.” And he made an exit towards the bathroom to shower. He needed to get to work early, and the only way to beat the traffic was running for the highway earlier.

“Wait, I---”

He turned around, scowling. “What?”

“I was going to ask what time were you coming back,” Seohyun slowly replied, regretting that she called him.

He stared at the wall clock, the long hand on 6 while the short ticked to seven. “Normally, I’m home by 6:30. Nothing earlier than that. Why?”

“You’ve forgotten our deal,” Seohyun said, standing up and gathering the plates. “You need to take care of Sijoong. I’ll be at the Geung Busan Medical Hospital at 7. So...you should be home by that time, okay?”

She was acting like his real wife almost suddenly. He grinned as his back faced her, his hand swaying and waving in disregard. “I said I’ll be here. Don’t worry about me. You know where to call me, right? Just do that, in case I don’t arrive in time.”

“I can’t take Sijoong to the hospital!” Seohyun cried loudly as he disappeared into the hallway to the shower. She sighed erringly, puffing her cheeks in discomfort and crossing her arms.

“One thing didn’t change at all. He still doesn’t listen to me,” she mumbled, shaking her head.

-o0o-

In her sleuthing, she found what looked like her parents’ wedding video. On top of the disk was Leeteuk’s name, so Yumi had no other choice but to show it to her twin secretly while their parents we’re still living under the same roof. If the movies proved to be right, she knew that the children have the power to keep their parents together, and with enough memories to show them, they might not push through with divorcing.

That Monday afternoon after school, it was Taeyeon again who fetched them from school. She opened their house, and the twins ran inside, forgetting to leave their shoes by the doorstep.

“Yah! I just polished the floor!” She shouted, only Yungyeo, who was running behind the staircase, heard his mother that he turned around, bowing his head as he neared her.

Taeyeon glared at him, pinching his cheeks. “What are you two up to?”

Yumi also came running down the stairs the moment she realized her shoes were with her, grinning at Taeyeon who had her hands on her hips.

The twins took them off, placing their shoes by the side. “Sorry,” they both chorused, bolting up the staircase again hurriedly to get on with their plan, Taeyeon falling suspicious at their rush.

“I’ll be making tuna sandwiches!” she shouted downstairs, hearing Yungyeo answer OK.

They chose Yungyeo’s room, since he owned a DVD player and more or less, their parents built his room soundproof so whatever event it contained, nobody would suspect a thing. The two entered, Yumi slipping out the disk from under her jumper and grinning at him in delight.

“This is it! This must be their wedding disk,” Yumi concluded. “Well...I’m not sure it is their wedding, but I think it is. Let’s check it out first before we show it to them.”

Yungyeo nodded. “We should lock the door. Mom might come up and hand as sandwiches.”

He did it himself since Yumi was preoccupied with playing the disk already. Agitated and eager, the two sat in front of the TV as the player loaded the scenery. There were no captions beneath, no opening menu to guide them, but it started just as quickly, the graphics blurring a little. The lens was focused on a man writing on his desk, and they recognized him at once.

“It’s...ahjusshi!” Yungyeo recalled. “He gave me the drums for my sixth birthday! He looks so...pretty.”

“Hyung, say hi!” came in the audio, and Heechul, the man in the first clip, waved back at the holder, his face nearing the recorder.

“Do I look pretty?” he asked, trying to focus on a reflection of himself on the lens. “What’s this for Hyukjae-sshi?”

“It’s Appa’s friend Hyukjae!” Yumi interrupted, slightly depressed that it wasn’t about her parents’ wedding.

“Eeteuk-hyung wanted to video every moment we have while he still is here with us. He says it’s the only thing that can keep him alive after graduation,” Eunhyuk answered.

“Is that so?” Heechul chuckled, taking the camera from Hyukjae and pointing it at himself. “We already have a bunch of videos and photos with him. While once I graduate, I don’t have anything to remember you guys by.”

“Say something to him in that video. Think of it as Eeteuk-hyung watching thirteen years from now.”

“This must be...” Yumi trailed off, counting back. “About eleven years ago.”

“You suddenly became interested in Math,” Yungyeo joked, and his sister stuck her tongue.

The hyung nodded, eyeing the camera as if it was a mirror.

“It’s finally December of our last year, Eeteuk-hyung,” Heechul said, staring to the lens. “Ah, I hope you and Hyunae are doing fine. How are those kids? I guess they must be a pain. I hope you don’t forget how beautiful I am. I hope you are successful or else I’m kicking your . I hope you’re rich so I can always run to you when I need money. Ha, see I’m funny even now. How much more in the future? How is the future Hee-hee?  Is he still gorgeous? Does he have a job? Is he married? Oh well. Hyung...” suddenly Heechul fell sad.  “Hyung...you’re my only hyung. Thank you for taking care of me when we were in our senior year. You are my only hyung, so please stay healthy. Grow up, Peter Pan! We all depend on you. I hope you have everything in the future. I hope we meet each other again. I’m going to miss you. I love you Eeteuk-hyung!”

The player clicked, another clip seemed to have been edited and added into the disk.

The two fell quiet at Heenim’s message, not only because it was dramatic, but also because he mentioned Hyunae again. Who was this girl? Why was she always coming up and about? Why was their mom not ever mentioned?

Another man appeared---his features as ever so bold and different. The twins were never introduced to this man in the video, so they quickly assumed he would probably be busy these days. His nose was rather top, firm eyes as well, with a deep smile. He waved at the camera, shocked when Hyukjae spoke in the background. He must have been Eeteuk’s personal recorder.

“Hangeng-hyung! Stop smiling and say something! He’s going to watch you 13 years from now,” Eunhyuk said, chortling. The man also nodded, face falling serious.

“Eeteuk-hyung! You were the worst hyung ever!” he scolded him. “You’ve ignored us, the dongsaengs, when we needed you most. You’re completely hopeless. But...” he trailed off, smiling. “I was wrong. It’s...actually the exact opposite. I admire how you worried over Heechul’s relationship with Sohee, over my own subjects even when they weren’t related to you. You care for all of us. Thank you, Eeteuk-hyung. I miss you. Now that you’re watching it, by now I would be in China. Sorry if I hadn’t told you about who I truly am...and Hyukjae-sshi’s getting the inside scoop!” He laughed, thumping Eunhyuk’s arm when Hyukjae started chuckling.

“Come on! Keep it up,” he demanded, Hangeng trying his best to speak Korean better.

“The truth is...and Eunhyuk-sshi shouldn’t tell the others,” he said, worried. “Mr. Lee Soo Man asked me to leave early. It’s been tough on me especially that I’m not Korean. I can feel how unfair the teachers are towards me, so I planned to leave SMEU early.  That’s why I overloaded my subject units. I want to graduate quickly and get a job back in China, my own hometown. It sounds traitorous, for SMEU practically educated me, but my blood tells me to go there for I belong there. I won’t be insecure of the people there because they are like me. I hope you understand. And Eeteuk-hyung, once again, I love you and good luck with your films! I hope you’ve bagged those Best Director Awards in every division. Fighting!”

Yumi’s lips twisted I confusion. “Do you think Dad’s wedding is at the end of this disk?”

Yungyeo shrugged in reply. “Doubt it already.”

She sighed, getting up. “Then we’ve got to look for it at the attic. Or else we’ll never get them together again.”

“Does it have to be the wedding? It could be anything about the two of them,” Yungyeo suggested. “We can have that vacation to Thailand when we were four. Or...the one when we went to Japan.”

“We shouldn’t be in the videos at all,” Yumi exclaimed. “Because if we were, it’s not going---”

A gentle knock devastated the two, shocking them when the doorknob clicked. Two knocks and a silent sigh followed, their mother’s voice strangely supple.

“Yah! Why did you lock the door?”Taeyeon asked. “I’ve made sandwiches.”

Yumi swiftly turned the player off as Yungyeo ran to unlock the door. Yumi’s smile was weary when Taeyeon entered, a tray in her hands, bunches of sandwiches and juice on it. Yungyeo bowed his head in respect, nearing his mother when he took one. He looked pale, as what Taeyeon noticed so her smile faded. Yungyeo had gotten thinner almost suddenly.

“Umma...” he called her, nervous. “Umma...do you have videos of you and appa when you were still young?”

When Yungyeo revealed what they were actually doing, Yumi’s eyes widened in definite shock---a sudden feeling of disappointment overwhelmed her, the kind of regret of ever having another person who you thought thinks like you. The utter idiocies made her open wide, shaking her head as she sighed.

Taeyeon gazed at her first, before wondering what made Yungyeo asked such a question. “What?”

Yumi nudged her brother, but he didn’t budge at all, willing to answer her mom squarely. “I need videos of you together. Don’t we always have recorded moments? We need it.”

“What’s it for?” The mother looked at Yumi, her head lowered after the secret was exposed. “You should ask your father if he has them. He may have a collection of that.”

Yungyeo stopped talking, a pungent grip from Yumi proved to be the strongest thing. She pinched him, but he didn’t move, Yumi finally coming up with a surefire back-up plan to support his pathetic excuses. He started it, but surely, being the older twin, Yumi had to finish it herself.

“Umma,” Yumi used her sweet voice, technically distracting Taeyeon. “We need it for class. We have a show and tell presentation on Friday about our parents.”

Taeyeon’s mouth, shaped now in an ‘ah’, nodded in understanding. “I see. Have you checked the attic?”

The two had separate ideas about that question, Yumi shaking her head in denial with a grateful smile on her placid face, while Yungyeo told the truth with full frankness, again Taeyeon wondering why they were acting odd. Yumi grinned widely to cover up her mistake, and then staring at Yungyeo in happiness.

“So...if you’ve been there...then...”she started, straining her voice to act normal. “You didn’t find a thing?”

Yungyeo shook his head. “No. I checked every video I could find but they were mostly about Dad’s college life at the dorm. They were a bunch of idiotic dorks.”

Taeyeon giggled. “Yes, that’s true. Oh...I do remember keeping a few videos of us two during our honeymoon, but...I don’t think it’s applicable for your age.