-o0o-

Chapter 20: “And I feel you forget me like how I used to feel you breathe- Taylor Swift”

-o0o-

He sneezed frequently that day. No colds or fevers, just a very crabby nose that hated the bustling streets of Busan. The cars outside continued honking nonstop, one after another, a very annoying music it was. He might end up late, but it would only be a couple of minutes. Work never bothered him anyway. His mind was running frequent flashbacks of his first jobs as assistants and managers in their old business hotels. His salary was less, in comparison to now, but back then, he had experienced life’s best pleasures.

628. He stared at the digital blinking clock on his I-pod. June 28.

Another loud sneeze flew right across him, his cell phone ringing instantly.

“Yes?” Kyuhyun at once wiping the glass splattered with his snot.

“You know what today is?” came in Sungmin’s voice, perky and alive.

He rolled his eyes at the window, not knowing how to react. “Seohyun’s birthday.”

“No, I...” He laughed uncontrollably, amused, before getting back to Kyuhyun who was suddenly mortified. “I didn’t ask if it was anybody’s birthday. I meant---”

“Yes, I know!” Kyuhyun stopped him from going any further, blushing in realization.

He looked at himself in the front mirror, seeing how red he had gotten. Not again, he caught himself thinking of something he could not have. This state of epiphany should have disappeared the time he left to work in Busan ing two years ago. A month passed, and he still found it hard to stop thinking of his ex-wife. The reason remained unsure, whether he was still in love with her, or because of the fact that he couldn’t stay away from her for more than a single minute---but that sounded the same even in his head. Aish. He wasn’t sure yet why the fortuneteller advised him to follow his heart. His heart was some sort of deranged ---it didn’t know what it wants.

He should have stayed away from her. He should have controlled himself to stay away or else...leaving her would be the most impossible thing in the world.

“Indeed,” Sungmin kept snickering. “We need your mom’s approval with the new hotel down that avenue. You know how to use your charms, right? I heard Ms. Cho just arrived from Japan this morning. She called me earlier to ask how you were doing since you had your other phone off all the time---”

“Don’t give her this number. Yes, she acts very concerned of me as if I was 10,” Kyuhyun muttered. “What else?”

“I know the company belongs to you and the rest of the branches in the future,” Sungmin stated. “She doesn’t know about the hotel and the budget you had for it. If you could...ask for her approval, she’ll give us a little boost to speed up the process. Ryeowook and Beige are both troubled with the little---” Kyuhyun sneezed again, loudly on the phone that Sungmin paused, listening to his condition.

He chortled. “Are you sick? Where are you?”

“No, I’m not sick,” Kyuhyun stated, sniffling. “On my way to work.”

“Dude, you know what they say when you’re sneezing without a cold,” Sungmin told him, excited. “It means some girl out there is kissing your picture.”

“You mean you?” Kyuhyun laughed at his own joke, traffic loosening a little that time which cause his mood to lighten. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll tell umma.”

“Aren’t you greeting her?” Sungmin wondered.

“She must be in her townhouse by now, I really can’t tell. Umma has a lot of addresses in Busan,” he answered, steering the wheel to the right with his free hand.

“I meant Seohyun,” he said, pleased. “It’s her birthday. E-mail her or something. Tell her you miss her. Or tell her you still love her. Or ask her out. Or send her a huge teddy bear.”

“Or I should just turn off my phone.” In Kyuhyun’s dialect, that meant goodbye. He switched it off, plucking the back cover and unplugging its battery. He threw the bits of his cell phone at the passenger seat, with his other blackberry mobile phone---also dissected into parts.

Being disconnected from all the other people in the world seemed perfect.

-o0o-

The sun was high, but the young football players were sweating in exhaustion. This was the game of the season, for Seoul Pyeong Grade School had to go against Seoul Uptown Grade School---two institutions competing since the dawn of time. As the goalkeeper, her task exceptionally needed focus on the ball, objectivity had to go first in order for the other team to fail. She waited until the opponent was across her, aiming the ball straight at her direction. In time she countered it back with a huge kick, clumsily slipping on the mud. Seconds later, her was suffocated in dirt.

“Umma, Yumi slipped!”

Taeyeon, her smile as heartening as any mother’s smile, stood up worriedly, waving her tiny flag to signal Yumi. She looked up, held her thumb high and just grinned, getting up quickly to resume the competition. Yungyeo, the other twin, was holding his breath in anticipation then, while witnessing his sister suffer that fall. At first, he only came to watch the game because Taeyeon forced him to, his ears were plugged with earphones. But the time came that Yumi appeared very bothered, he couldn’t let go of watching her in tension.

“Too bad Dad wouldn’t see this,” Yungyeo stated, Taeyeon’s smile dropping.

She nodded. “I know. He’s not into these types of activities. Yumi really wanted Eeteuk to come.”

“But...” Yungyeo patiently thought of his event, wondering if his father would do the same. “He will attend the music fair, right? He has to go. My band is performing.”

Taeyeon, surprised of his 9-year-old’s confession, looked at him strangely. “You’re in a band?”

“Yes,” he answered. “We’re performing live next week. It’s good that you’ve enrolled us to a music school.”

“It’s likely because Eeteuk and I are both fans of music,” Taeyeon stated. “Are you the vocalist?”

He shook his head weakly, afraid to answer his umma. “Just play the drums.”

“Look, Yumi’s defenses are getting weaker!” complained Taeyeon, switching the matter. Her thoughts of worry transferred from the three important people in her lives---from Teukie to Yungyeo and now back to Yumi. They were all dependant on her, on the mother, that without Taeyeon, everyday life would be tougher.

-o0o-

Dinner was wonderful outside, and exhaustion was already coming over the three as they arrived back at their apartment, Seohyun disheartened by what she saw at the movie theatre.

“That movie was so scary!” Seohyun reviewed, holding herself together as she ate her chocolate ice cream. Once every two spoons after herself, she would feed Sijoong, the little boy gladly enjoying both of his surrogate parents tasty treats.

“Sijoong isn’t even frightened,” Yonghwa stated, shaking the child as he on his finger. “Isn’t that right, Sijoong-sshi?”

A gallon of the Chocó delight was on the glass table, Seohyun finishing her cup, both her legs huddled up another her skirt. Yonghwa, also having his second turn, shared it with Sijoong enthusiastically, who still couldn’t utter words despite turning ten months by the end of July.

Seohyun frowned. “Well, he slept all through the whole movie. It’s a good thing. He’ll get nightmares if he had watched it.”

Yonghwa shrugged, taking another scoop of his ice cream and handing it to Sijoong, smiling pleasantly as he sat in between the two to separate them. Sijoong giggled happily at Yonghwa who too felt triumphant about getting on the baby’s good side. He then glanced at Seohyun, still very teenage-like in appearance and attitude. Yonghwa caressed her cheek, the one with chocolate on it, chuckling.

“Happy Birthday, Hyun.”

He placed his other arm, his free arm that wasn’t holding Sijoong, all over Seohyun’s shoulder, shaking her happily. She smiled as though the next day didn’t worry her, as though nothing could ever happen that would ruin her whole life. She gradually loosened her thoughts as though it would also minus her possibilities of meeting Kyuhyun in Busan.

“Who’s going to meet you at the airport tomorrow?” Yonghwa wondered, concerned much of her state. Kyuhyun, her ex-husband, was the first thing that came into his mind too, thinking that she already made plans with him.

She thought carefully who could meet her in Busan. Seohyun rarely had friends in the city---as she thought about it, she had only been to Busan twice all her life. She had been assigned for the best voluntary years to other cities unlike Busan. She was going to the hospital with another doctor, Jiyoung the novice, just the two of them, venturing firsthand to a different world.

“I’ve called Sunny-unnie,” Seohyun admitted, telling him her initial plot. “But she had to attend her client’s hearing. I’ve called Sungmin-oppa, and he too couldn’t go fetch me. Er...Yesung-oppa didn’t reply yet, but I suppose ‘Back-off-he’s-mine’ message from Choonhee-unnie meant no. So...Jiyoung and I are going to look for an apartment to stay. After all, she’s a morning shift. She could take care of Sijoong when I work at night. We’re leaving as early as 8 tomorrow.”

Yonghwa felt unfulfilled. “I just don’t think you should go anyway. Why don’t you and Sijoong stay---”

At once remorse called her to stop. “No, that’s not necessary. I really must help. I really have to. I love what I’m doing. I’ll be strong. Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to die just because we aren’t together.”

“You said you can’t live without me just the other night,” Yonghwa reminded her, laughing. “You’re crazy, Hyun. But I love you.”

“I know you do,” she beamed, kissing him on the lips fervently, halting when she realized Sijoong was amazed at the two of them getting rather close. She bit her lips, eyeing Sijoong.

“You need to sleep,” Seohyun commanded, and as though Sijoong understood, he stopped smiling, gazing at Seohyun in confusion---wishing to cry. “Those eyes won’t be an excuse. You are a growing baby, and you need sleep.” He rubbed his eyes knowingly, like a spell Seohyun sprinkled on him.

“Come on,” Yonghwa said, standing up and placing his cup on the table. He took Sijoong into his arms, lulling him hurriedly as he went inside the nursery, Sijoong’s room.

Seohyun grinned, slightly joyous about that day. She tried recalling all the things they had done together to celebrate her birthday. Even when it wasn’t like Sica’s fabulous 31st birthday party, she felt satisfied in the least that she had spent it with Yonghwa. For the last two years, Jessica, the closest unnie she had because they both stayed in Incheon, threw her makeover dates and slumber tea parties. Just recently, almost a year earlier, Seohyun met Yonghwa, that beautiful August day in her vacation in Seoul. She remembered he too was on the same flight as she was: W34GM10, that was assembled back to Incheon. She was already a doctor then, a pharmacist as well because Kyuhyun had left her with a clinic. They instantly became close, and that January, he had proposed to her with an outstanding album he recorded with his band, all written by him just for her. How couldn’t she say yes? They had been engaged for six months now, and she wanted to prove how much he meant to her.

She hadn’t noticed how long Yonghwa had been in the nursery before she gazed at the clock’s hands. It was almost 11. She slipped her hands into her pockets, feeling the cell phone vibrate unexpectedly.

“How are you?” went the text message, actually coming from Kyuhyun himself. He wasn’t sleeping yet. It had been nearly ages since he last talked to her, sent her a simple message. This time it made her wonder why he wanted his presence felt, why he bothered to let her know he was still alive. She couldn’t understand, so at first, she hesitantly came up with her answer.

“I’m wonderful,” she typed in her reply.

“You’re not sleeping yet? What are you still doing?”

She bit her lip, shaking her head as if he could see that reaction. Hurriedly she typed, “No, I’m not. I’m sitting on the couch doing nothing. What are you doing?”

“Waiting for miracles,” was what he said, a few ‘kekekeke’ at the end. “I’m working on a budget proposal. Projects to do. I’m so tired I wish I could sleep through this and wake up seeing it done.”

She smiled softly to herself after reading. “So...it’ll be one of those sleepless nights?”

“Yeah, I hate it.” She imagined him sitting on that metal desk of his, swirling in that swivel chair, analyzing data as he entered it to his laptop, hastily erasing some miscalculations. It made her feel homesick.

Her heartbeat kindly slowed down, time falling back to the past, trapped inside of her consciousness. When she turned 20, he bought her the latest flashy shoes, high heels that made her feel like the queen of the world. When she turned 21, Kyuhyun made her a handmade duck origami the size of a radio set with a shabby poem written in that lousy handwriting of his. As she got older, by 22 on their last year at SMEU, on her Chemistry classroom, Kyuhyun designed the whole wall with pictures of the two of them together, a mosaic of a heart from afar. For her 23rd birthday, he vowed to pay all of her tuition fee by working in a restaurant, aiding her with the things she needed. The next year proved to be a lot bigger, because Kyuhyun had provided her family with a 1000 sq meter lot in the countryside at Gyeong-di. She was furious at him for this, but he begged her not to be like that. When she turned 25, Seohyun met his mother, and it became a struggle to impress her.