Sungmin stared blankly in front of the calendar. With pink marker on his right hand, he crossed out the day that marked his 30^th day since he first saw kyuhyun. At first he doesn’t mind, he never really minds, but kyuhyun keeps on popping everywhere. In his mind, in front of him, on commercials, on tv, in his food and clothes and even it is hard to admit, this bastard pops in his dreams. He pulled his hair, groaning in frustration.

One month, exactly one month and here he is, falling in love - falling in love on New Year’s Eve.

---

“you know if you want to call him you don’t have to stare on your phone for an hour.”

Through the corners of his eye, he can see the makeup artist slowly peeking on his phone and not only that Donghae seems doesn’t know how to shut up in front of these people. He said every celebrity should know how to keep his life private on the matter of relationship but this mouth of a talking fish doesn’t live to what he preaches.

“look, kyuhyun you can’t deny to me how much you mi-“ Kyuhyun slowly raised his hand signaling the noona to take a break and from where he was sitting, he used the mirror in front to look for Donghae’s line of vision and when he did, he sent the deadliest glares his eyes can.

“you know I don’t mind you talking Donghae hyung. Especially when you talk nonstop and blabber a lot of things, I don’t even mind you talking about my love life. Oh no don’t, you can even share it with the noona earlier. Also, you can –

Donghae stood up and held both of his hands up as if telling to kyuhyun that he is already raising his white flag. “okay I now get your sarcasm and I don’t wish to get your wrath by this time.” But kyuhyun wasn’t fazed, the mirror reflects his gaze and Donghae just regretted turning his face to that direction. 

“oh boy, don’t forget to tell the noona to cover that one near your nose with thick make up. I don’t want people seeing that horrendous zit of yours. “

A loud thud coming from the door and continuous musing from Donghae from the other side of the room, kyuhyun is sure he’ll fry that fish for the upcoming party later. “just so you wait I don’t care anymore to that fish. That manager who only knows nothing but to flirt with that monkey dancer.”

But the earlier words coming from Donghae seemed to stay a bit longer in his mind not that he hasn’t think of it before but someone telling him to push that action really bugs him for sure. Tonight is a very special night not only to them but for everyone. His friends outside the industry constantly for having a lonely holiday. He doesn’t mind those words before as it always happens just every damn year. But this time he met a young man, just a month ago.

That man isn’t just the ordinary people he met and as much as he wanted to say he’s one of a kind, he just can’t bring his self to say that. He admired the person so much that even words are not there to help him.

Kyuhyun smiled sadly as he realized how fast things became. From mere acquaintance to one-night stand that eventually progress to dating to which had, fortunately, ignited something in them. Kyuhyun slumped his back and looked up the ceiling asking the question he had once muttered to his self, “does he really love me?”  then his mind flew to the night that they last shared.

He remembered how his hands touched everywhere it reaches. Those calloused hands of his tried to memorize each places, starting to those womanly contours, the honey thighs around his waist, the skin so soft like those of the babies, then he start imprinting to his memories the scent of him, how that chest rises every time, how that mouth closes, those plump lips curling in mere lust. Kyuhyun everywhere, he kisses Sungmin just everywhere, he glides his hands just every ing where.

“you are beautiful you know that,” he breathed right beside the shell of his ear. He is seeing a beauty, an epitome of art, indeed.

With hands winded around his neck, the man bit his lips in time the blood crept up to his face, ”your words  are like of the dramas you are casted, I don’t know if I would believe you.” Sungmin throw a worried glance to him but Kyuhyun just take it as a challenge. Sungmin is still shy, timid and very submissive. Though the other constantly denies him, moments like this, when they are just merely touching each other kyuhyun can’t deny the feelings Sungmin made inside of him. That is the very reason why he doubts Sungmin, whether it’s for or what, he doesn’t. What he currently knows is, Sungmin wants him now basing from how those legs keeps him above his body.

He nipped the flesh that is pristine before his eyes, “you asked me if that is love…” kyuhyun lowered his body as if purposely letting their s and arousals to touch. Maybe I should show you…

----

“you are ready in 3, 2, 1…”

Blinding lights meet his eyes and not even squinting a bit as he was exposed to it for so long. Fame has been his friend for how many years back then when his hyung left him for good. That never pained him though the memories still linger as it emphasized sadness.

He stepped out welcoming the loud cheers but ears turning deaf as the music soothes his confused heart.

Sungmin was thankful for all the popularity and recognition but he can’t deny the feeling of something is lacking. There is this small bubble of loneliness that he knows he sought from his brother, from his parents but neither of those was fulfilled. The very reason he doubts kyuhyun.

“am I just in need of attention?” he quietly murmurs before he brought the microphone near his lips.

A sigh weighs me down carefully
And won’t let me sleep, yeah
I tell my empty heart that it’s a fool

As he closed his eyes, mind floating with the music, lips moving in the sway of the lyrics, the last night they shared filled his mind in form of memories…

Kyuhyun hold me in places I’m vulnerable with. He caressed my face, planted kisses over my cheeks; he told me I am beautiful. It’s hard to believe or better yet, I rather not want to believe. It’s been only a month and some of those days I hated him. I hated him for saying how he loves me while me is confused as hell. I hated myself for yearning for his touches.

He kissed me fully on my lips and I can’t help myself in kissing him back. I moaned for him, I moaned while his lips are connected in me. I can feel myself burning from his touches and I didn’t notice myself holding a breath until he touches me down there. I gasp for air. The feeling is not foreign though but this time the impact is greater, the touches is making me a mess especially when he engulf me there.

“kyuhyun-ah!” I shouted his name, tears forming from ecstasy and at the same time from the unknown source of emotions. I must admit, these actions are addicting. I am craving for more, I want more.. I want him for me.

“kyuhyun, I want you. Make love to me please,”

Everything was sweet.

Everything was all I ever wished.

---

Kyuhyun stopped midway when he heard the familiar sweet voice. He searched for it and saw one of the TVs tuned into the channels where Sungmin has been a guest, too bad he only catch a glimpse of the last part but the poignant touch and very remarkable melancholy tone of it reach his ears. He knows it is only a song but he can’t convince his self that it rests on like that. He sighed, fixed the lapel of his coat before faking a smile to the world he had loved ever since, the entertainment industry.

---

It ended just like that. A brief moment of singing yet it successfully hit the soft part in him. He immediately went inside his car and the voice of Ryeowook, his manager is falling into the background. He was about to open the door to the passenger seat when his stomach twisted in a way that is painful.

“ah!” immediately Ryeowook is on his side taking him by the arm and soothing his back. The other murmurs something like fatigue but Sungmin knows there is more than that. He knows something is wrong in him as this one continues from last week. Nevertheless he is still going to his last show which is 3 hours close to midnight.

“do you want me to accompany you to the doctor later?” the worry is reflected on the tone of Ryeowook’s voice yet Sungmin tend to ignore together with the pain and anxiety bubbling inside of him.

“thank you but I want to celebrate new year’s eve void of the smell of hospitals and worries. That,” Sungmin jumped inside the car as Ryeowook took round for the opposite door and when they are both settled, Sungmin resumed speaking, “can wait but this night is more precious.”

Ryeowook ruffled his dongsaeng’s hair, the undertone of those words made him to just remain silent and praise the younger inwardly. “just call me when something happens, for now sleep. The MC said they need you to be tenfold livelier for the pre-celebration later, hmm?”

Sungmin then nodded as his eyes flutters close and half of him just wanted to remain awake, afraid that the sweetness of last time will invade him for now.

Kyuhyun pushed inside of him. Like before, it is still painful but this time it is mixed with the feeling of excitement. He has his eyes closed at that time, the intrusion is keeping his sanity at bay but what he can’t take is how those soulful eyes were directed at him.

“sshh, look at me,” kyuhyun caressed the sides of his eyes as they both groaned at the depth kyuhyun took in. He can feel his cheeks seeping kyuhyun in and he can hear very well how kyuhyun moaned in deep baritone voice when he tried to contract his muscles. “ don’t do that please.”

“so-sorry,” Sungmin half panted. He slowly opened his eyes but was only to regret it. Kyuhyun was drenched in sweat, dark eyes towering over him- taunting him, sending convulsion to every fiber of his being- those strands of hair sticking to Kyuhyun’s face left him gaping. He just loved the totality of Kyuhyun.

Without thinking his hands flew to Kyuhyun’s face, touching it as his rake its features as if memorizing it for a future purpose. “Sungmin?” kyuhyun asked, bewildered with what Sungmin did.

“move. And bury yourself deep inside of me.”

When he woke up Sungmin knows what could be his answer for the dilemma he has.

---

“STUPID”

Those were the words that escaped his lips the moment Ryeowook ended his call to him. It is not already a secret to the both of their managers about Sungmin and his relationship. It was kyuhyun who first started to tell Donghae about everything and it took Sungmin a couple of denials right before Ryeowook discovered the sweet messages kyuhyun sent to him. Fortunately, the two has nothing against it but Ryeowook has this “overprotective” issue that sometimes becomes so exaggerated that he just wanted to kill the shorter man but out of respect, maybe no.

Now that the other has called him regarding tonight’s plans, kyuhyun feels so agitated. He only has 2 more hours to do the plan and Ryeowook agreed that he’ll help him with this. But what made him to feel more anxious is Ryeowook’s emphasis on “you should make him happy tonight as he’s not feeling well.”

The last time he and Sungmin parted ways he knows the both of them lost all the will to talk. They are back again to being awkward and shy and kyuhyun being the one who really perseveres wanted to make the first move.

“stupid! Dip head kyuhyun! How can you forget?? You just searched for it the last month, how can you forget that today is a very special day?” he said while kicking the pebbles along the way.

Tonight, they will settle this. Tonight he is going to see Sungmin.

---

He fumbled on his keys as fast as he can. All he wanted to do is to sleep but his mind told him to celebrate for a change. He left the party as politely as he can and thanks to god Ryeowook was there to cover up for him. Well not really that much since he is not really feeling well.

Darkness took over him as he opened his lifeless apartment but as he neared to the shoe case he saw small flames covering his floor.

“oh my my apartment!!” he quickly looked for his switch and immediately turned it on.

And when the lights slowly open one by one, Sungmin saw what was laid out before him.

Candles formed a path towards his table and while traversing it Sungmin knows who is behind this deed. Tears slowly form in his eyes, he suppress his sobs that which turned into small hiccups, his vision gets blurry at every second he tries to block his tears. He knows kyuhyun is just here.

And he just doesn’t care anymore, he’ll tell everything tonight.

He was about to call kyuhyun to come out and just face him when an all too familiar voice enveloped the silence that formerly surrounds his house. There is a cassette tape playing innocently over table and placed beside it is a single rose.

“kyuhyun..” it came out as a soft whisper. “kyuhyun,” he sobbed holding the flower closed as if that will tell the answer.

Though we get angry over little things when we meet

We let go of the anger

I turn around and smile to myself

The birds whisper, the flowers whisper

Looks like they’re jealous of our love

He moved gingerly towards the small radio and let his hand feel the smoothness of it under his fingertips. The song continued to play and Sungmin must admit, kyuhyun has a very nice and soothing voice. It sends him some peace of mind and happiness he doesn’t know where it came from. Just hearing this voice makes him calm.

Feel it with your heart

How much I’m in your heart

Speak with those lips

Wait.. what does kyuhyun is trying to say? Does he know? He can feel it too? Does he notice Sungmin struggling with his emotions?

For a long while

Saying that you’ve come to love me

The capacity of our love

Inside your eyes

The capacity of your love

My love overflows inside you

Feel it with your heart

How much I’m in your heart

Speak with those lips

For a long while

Saying that you’ve come to love me

This time it was Kyuhyun who is singing then as he welcomes Sungmin in his arms he whispered the words Sungmin has been longing to hear, “I love you Sungmin I will wait for you to say it too.”

Sungmin just sobbed in kyuhyun’s hold. He sobbed until he felt all the raw emotions in him turned deeper, he cried until all of his frustrations turned to something blissful. He cried until his confusion turned into realization.

He is crying and kyuhyun is just holding him there.

Sungmin looked up to meet kyuhyun’s soft brown eyes and without hesitation he placed a chaste kiss over kyuhyun’s lips.

“min, does that mean….” Kyuhyun trailed off his mind unable to form coherent words from what is happening. All he wanted was to make Sungmin happy during the most important day of his life. He just wanted to surprise the other and take care of him as his manager told him Sungmin is sick. But it turns out it was Sungmin who has a surprise for him.

“it means shut up and kiss me.” The playful smile gracing on his supple lips.

“oh well, before that let me greet you a happy happy birthday!” Kyuhyun gleefully said.

Then Sungmin answered him by giving another teasing peck on the lips and a smile pure of sweetness, “the more reason you have to kiss me.”

Sungmin placed his arms arounds kyuhyun's neck and kyuhyun while looking intently to sungmin, carried him to where their feet carries him. and when he saw he brown thing placed innocently at the sala with that smile, sungmin knows what kyuhyun meant.

“ming for a change, let’s do it on the couch,” 

a/n: hello guys.. when was the last time i updated this? ahhhh~ i unlisted this fic so it was missing from kyumin tags for a month and i am shocked that people still subscribe and upvoted this. i really really love you for that T^T. I know you will roll your eyes on me as again,i will ask for your comments!  i know i don't ahve time to reply to allof you~ but you know reading all of your comments makes me happy really really happy and motivated. i hope that you will continue to support this fic by commenting, subscribing and upvoting! in that way, we will keep thsi fic alive! 

again thank you for keeping up with me! for always talking to me and cheering me up! i hope to receive lots of commenst this time as i see that the no of subbies is good. i just got back and i feel so lost i need your insights and opinions regarding this!

thank you! your friend, polin XDD