Blurred off white ceiling met his eyes. His body feels heavy that he has to blink the tiredness away repeatedly just to make sure that he’s really awake. He tries to move his arms and when he failed, he tried moving the legs next.

They are all numb and it scares him.

He wants to call someone, shout a certain name, but who?

He opened his mouth as a painful groan escaped from it before he can even say that name.

He shifted a little, clutched the bedsheets tightly as he can feel the sourness of something inside his stomach travels from it then to the lining of his esophagus.

Sungmin felt like a piece of at that moment and he badly needs someone to hold him and his sanity in place.

“kyuhyun,” it came out throaty yet powerful at the same time. So powerful that in a matter of seconds, the said man came dashing inside; the name is so powerful that it sent tingling sensation inside of him- the one that feels good.

“min?” a hand caressed his right cheek and his closed eyes fluttered to close more, the warm feeling relaxes him a bit.

“are you okay now?” though he can’t see kyuhyun, he knows that the eyes of the other reflected concern and he doesn’t want to see that.

He doesn’t want to take a look on it.

He doesn’t want to fall in love.

The next time he knew, a pair of arms held him through his shoulders and a kiss landed on his crown, with closed eyes, he embarked through the sweet feelings Kyuhyun gave him.

His back came in contact with the headboard of the bed; apparently, kyuhyun positioned him to a comfortable one, a pillow on his back and a thick blanket wrapped around his waist. Seconds after deft hands travelled on his head, massaging it slowly and in circles.

“yah! Are you asleep?”

Sungmin chuckled, feeling light probably due to what Kyuhyun is doing.

“kyu…”

There goes that nickname again, kyuhyun mentally said.

“what happened?” this time Sungmin opened his eyes, exactly boring through the direction of Kyuhyun’s brown orb, taking a peek to his reflection on Kyuhyun’s eyes.

He doesn’t know why he felt elated that those soulful eyes contained nothing but him.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask that?”

Sungmin nodded as if agreeing with what kyuhyun said. Playing his two thumbs, circling it against each other while remembering things that happened before it, Sungmin didn’t even know what had gotten into him that time.

“I fainted right?”  He must be stupid for asking that question.

Kyuhyun just shrugged as he extended his arm to get the glass of water over the table near them.

“Sungmin, let’s be honest to each other,” he placed the glass right before Sungmin’s face, urging him to drink a bit of it and when he saw the shaking hands of the younger, he just nodded sideways and helped the other in drinking as if he was a newborn child.

“are you…” he trailed as the words he’s going to say became frightful in his mind, “…do you…”

He can see from the corner of his eyes that Sungmin is waiting for to continue whatever he wanted to say.

“I don’t know remember having any illness that’s my answer to whatever you meant.”

Then Sungmin laid his back low, attempting to get another decent sleep as he tries to shake off the guilty feeling he’s having inside. Kyuhyun is just being nice to him but he just can’t help but to snap at the older.

He must be feeling tired then.

---

The warm rays of the setting sun glows silently on his face, he had slept the whole day.

This time he is feeling a bit well and basing with the shouts and giggles from the frolicking kids outside, he must have been placed in orphanage’s clinic. His eyes landed on the covered plate, his stomach immediately growled that he didn’t have second thoughts in eating it not even bothering if the food was for him.

He is quite thankful that Kyuhyun didn’t bring him to the hospital. He knows he is sick and nothing more than that, he finds no reason be paranoid.

“hmmmm fatigue maybe,” he talked to no one as kyuhyun didn’t still come back to wherever he is right now.

And speaking of the other boy, Sungmin thought of saying sorry not that he’s really sorry but being nice to the said man wouldn’t do any harm right?

And oh he should also say thank you for not bringing him to the hospital, those places freak him out.

“kyuhyun?”

Sungmin tried standing up and quite satisfied that his legs can carry him at stable pace, inhaling deeply the dense air that smells like snow, he silently gets out of the room. The clinic is filled with a lot of stickers, cartoon characters and toys scattered everywhere and he unconsciously smiled, thinking that hospital might be his favorite place if only that would be this cute.

He jumped a little when a squishy something hit his foot, producing a squeaky sound.

As he neared the end of the clinic, Sungmin strained his ears at first against the door, attempting to scrutinize the place before he present his self to the mass of kid and probably to Kyuhyun.

Fortunately, there is a mirror and he fixed his self for a while after realizing that his hair stick out everywhere and there are still bed marks on his face.

“I’m sorry ahjussi maybe let’s do the mini concert tomorrow I really have to bring him to the nearest hospital,”

Sungmin heard the faint voice of Kyuhyun just meters behind the door, it seems like the taller man is talking to one of the personnel in the orphanage and if he’s right Kyuhyun must be talking about him.

“no kyuhyun, no.” Sungmin muttered under his breath.

He opened the door slightly, peering his eyes over the two men talking calmly just over the ledge while watching the kids doing the afternoon routine of dance class.

“we should tell the kids then,” the old man patted kyuhyun’s back and even though the two is facing against him, he knows that Kyuhyun is somewhat disappointed. He didn’t even know that kyuhyun would be holding a mini concert for the kids.

He smiled upon remembering the cute scene unfolded in front of him before he fainted.

Sungmin must admit, he doesn’t deserve kyuhyun, he is a man and kyuhyun doesn’t need another man in his life.

Kyuhyun can be a good father, he really can be. And from that, Sungmin knows he is just wasting another bright future for kyuhyun, not that he thinks that he’ll marry kyuhyun or something else but having kyuhyun to commit a relationship with him will just waste a certain good opportunity and chance in the taller man’s life.

By that time, kyuhyun should be looking a girl he could marry not spending his time over a boy who can’t give him kids.

The old husky voice broke him off from his trance.

“what happened to the young lad?” and Sungmin has to close the door a little when the man turned his eyes towards the direction of the clinic.

“he said there’s nothing wrong, he must be tired and I’m worried.”

Though Kyuhyun’s voice was a little bit drowned by the kids’ voice, he can still sense the worry in it.

“hmn, you must really bring him to the nearest hospital later just to make sure nothing is wrong,” and another pat on Kyuhyun’s back before the older man stood up slowly, clapping his hands after to gather the attention of the kids.

Kyuhyun stood up and Sungmin panicked. They must be announcing the cancellation and Sungmin has to stop it. He doesn’t want to ruin the children’s mood just because he is sick.

“okay okay kids!,”

Sungmin dashed out of the room, slightly wincing at the sudden exposure to sunlight making him a bit dizzy. The place seems to twirl in his vision and Sungmin swear softly as his body doesn’t cooperate with him.

“hyung!” the kid whom he had a talk earlier spotted him making kyuhyun and the old man to turn to his direction.

He saw kyuhyun run towards him and he just wish he could say some good set of convincing words before he faint just like before.

“min, what are you doing here? You could just call me” kyuhyun held his elbow, slowly guiding him to a sheltered place.

“don’t ..don’t cancel it,” his voice came as a pant but the conviction is there and kyuhyun must have sense it making the latter to raise his eyebrows on him. “I heard you…”

“Sungmin…”

“just go on.. I’ll be okay. Just … I don’t want to disappoint them,” this time he really has his breath shortening at every words he say and it is not helping, e should prove to kyuhyun that he’s feeling okay again.

Closing his eyes, he breathes deeply and successfully calming his body, “see I’m okay?”

Kyuhyun just chuckled, ruffling his hair in the process while slowly snaking his arms around Sungmin slightly shaking body. “ you must be thankful that you are stubborn and I believe you despite knowing you are clearly lying.”

Sungmin hide in embarrassment as he knows that half of the kids earlier and maybe the old man is watching them from a far.

“oh kyu not here,”

“oh where do you want me to?” and basing the suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows, Sungmin is sure that kyuhyun is trying to inflict ual innuendos in his words.

“ert!”

---

Everything is in fun pandemonium. Kids practically cheering even thought the stage is just been being set and kyuhyun practicing his piece somewhere he doesn’t know.

‘where did he go?’ he put his hand under his chin, boredom painted in his face.

“kyu hyung?” a small voice whispered in his ear that he immediately clutched his chest. Just Another reason to hate kids.

“can you at least make your presence known?’ Sungmin rolled his eyes while facing his back to kid’s face not even minding if it’ll offend the kid or not, he just wanted a quiet moment.

“  I just did grumpy bunny,” and with that the small kid dashed his way out.

Half an hour later the kids gather at the center of the small park at the back of the orphanage, their butts hitting the cold grass. Apparently the personnel cleaned the area, raking out the snow to make space for the audience who’s composed of the personnel, few neighbor ahjummas and the kids.

Sungmin sat in a log far away from the audience but not far away from where kyuhyun would stand later. Fortunately no one asked him to perform a bit maybe they already know that he’s not feeling well.

He looked up and upon seeing the bright stars adorning the dark sky, the wind is less colder, not that cold yet not that freezing too and the silence that enveloped the place if you not mind the childish voice, just made Sungmin to feel happy and relaxed at the same time.

Somehow, he forgot he’s sick.

“feeling better?” a dark and velvet voice suddenly sprout from his back.

He’s looking up at the sky when kyuhyun chose to block his view, hid face dark as he bent down not letting the light to accentuate his face. Sungmin was stunned yet he remained calm despite the erratic beating of his heart.

Kyuhyun is driving him crazy all of a sudden.

“get out you are blocking my view to the stars,” kyuhyun then sat now beside him while passing on to him his pair of gloves and a mug of milk.

“milk will make your body release serotonin which helps in regulation of your sleep.”

Sungmin took a sip and looked at kyuhyun, totally astonished at the information.

“didn’t I told you that I aspired to be a doctor before I discovered acting is better?”

Kyuhyun put the other glove on his hand as his other hand holds the mug of milk, Sungmin is blushing at the actions and he tries to hide by sipping the milk horrendously loud.

“who said I’m going to sleep? Look at the stars they deserved to be watch. I think sleep can wait. Seoul doesn’t have stars like this.” He the trace of milk that was grazing over his upper lip, darting his tongue to slowly wipe it.

And he blushed again as he caught the amusement and sparkle evident on kyuhyun’s eyes.

“because Seoul has light pollution, it causes skyglow which successfully make the stars invisible to eyes. Here in this province there are no buildings that would emit neon lights and such.”

Then kyuhyun grabbed the mug from Sungmin but only to let the left hand hold it as he tries to put the glove to Sungmin’s right hand.

“geniuses are not my type,”

And kyuhyun just laughed out loud, totally not missing out the lie behind the mocking words.

“see that singing ahjumma? I’ll be next after those two so be ready,” kyuhyun stole a fast peck on his lips which Sungmin has to stop his self from mewling in mere want.

“why would I want to hear a kiddie song-“

“shhhhh.. just be ready.”

And Sungmin feels like his heart is going to explode from the playful wink kyuhyun gave him.

---

Sungmin stopped taking fascination at the stars above the sky when suddenly kyuhyun’s voice resounded around the place. Taking his view from the set of stars above him, he shifted his gaze towards the man standing over the small stage.

Kyuhyun in crisp black suit- dazzling right before his eyes.

Sungmin questions his self since when kyuhyun changed clothes.

Kyuhyun in crisp black suit-  a dazzling star right before his eyes.

A soft tone floated in the air and as soon as kyuhyun opened his mouth, Sungmin feels like fainting again.

The voice is soothing, smooth against his ears, captivating in his heart, addicting and beautiful.

It seems like of a velvet cloth, it just feels right…. It just feels right.

Kyuhyun looked in his audience and sang the first lines and Sungmin wish he brought his camera but he realized this doesn’t need to be recorded for it will automatically will, inside his heart, inside his small space of closed memories.

“.. I’m not gay,” he chanted.

Then the next lines kyuhyun tilted his head to Sungmin’s direction.

I wanna hold your hand..

Those eyes that bore. Those eyes that created insatiable cravings in him, something deep and penetrating.

Then he remembered the time when kyuhyun held his hand as they walked inside the alley, fingers intertwined.

In one swift motion he gripped Sungmin’s hand earning a yelp from the latter, with eyes still on the road ahead of them kyuhyun spoke in quivering voice, “our hands keep bumping and it irritates me might as well keep it in place.”

It sounds cliché, so used line in dramas but kyuhyun can’t help but to do it.

And before they reach half- way of their journey towards the restaurant kyuhyun loosely let go of Sungmin’s hand.

But only to slip his fingers between the gaps, tighten it around while pulling Sungmin closer to him. It is not just a simple clasp of hands but this time their fingers fill each gaps; their palms enclosing the warmth of glowing hidden affection. Something they need to sort out and let it happen.

And with intertwined hands, they bask the fuzzy yet warm feelings of each other could offer.

“I’m not gay..” tears slowly filling the sides of his eyes, together with the frustration that eats him up.

I wanna kiss your lips…

Sungmin bit his lower lip. Kyuhyun is not averting his gaze from him. The people did not notice it as he was sitting at the very back, away from people, away from their eyes but not away from kyuhyun’s meaningful ones.

Then another fresh memory of him and kyuhyun played in his mind.

Not long after they found their bodies pressed flushed against each other, hands threading those lock, another pair of hands searching something along the contours of his body, legs straddled on someone hips as they bask the hungry feeling of the kiss.

Kyuhyun already lost his self, seeking shelter with those supple flesh, finding satisfaction with every delved of the tongue. Sungmin release a guttural moan, legs rubbing some friction to kyuhyun’s hips as both of their faces angles to a desired position.

Moans everywhere.

Tinged with lust.

Mixed with desire.

Fueled by an unknown feeling of attraction.

Sungmin cannot lose his self with just a kiss but too bad he is.

I wanna fall in love with you…

And the last line hit something in him, an unfathomable and confusing emotions hit him all at once. Unable to take it, he stood up, fresh hot tears blinded his sight as he made his way out of the suffocating place.

Out of kyuhyun’s suffocating gaze.

Out of that suffocating confession of love, away from it…

---

Kyuhyun found his self pinned against the oak tree, harsh breathings fanning his neck at emotional eyes piercing at the very inside of him.

Sungmin attacked his neck, the grip on his wrist growing uncontrollable just like how his moans escaped his lips one after the other. He shut his eyes allowing his self to touched, to be kissed to be a form of emotional vent out.

“c’mon min let’s talk about this.” Kyuhyun tried being rational despite the rationality leaving him.

“stop calling me min,” Sungmin darted his tongue, tracing the line of his neck until reaching the hot lobe of his ears, and when he stopped on it, a harsh bite was given.

“stop looking into my eyes.”

A knee was placed between his legs.

“stop making me look back into your eyes.”

Kyuhyun found his self losing in Sungmin’s touches. The smaller guy showered his face with kisses, here… there.. on the top of his cheeks, on his nose.

“stop loving me. Stop making me crazy. Stop making me confused.”

Sungmin crashed his lips against kyuhyun, sleek muscle swiping every part of his mouth, biting, tugging, pulling his lips, against it, pouring everything in it.

“help me kyuhyun help me,”

Sungmin looked into him, hands slackening the hold on his wrists but only to settle on his chest.

Kyuhyun held Sungmin’s face as he finally gets the message the smaller man wants him to know.

“help me …” a small punch landed on his chest and he just rest his lips over Sungmin’s crown.

“help me fall in love to you too,” that came soft, soft just like the gush of the wind passing on them.

Kyuhyun had his eyes widen at the words, heart beating at an abnormal speed as each words punctuated deep on him.

“I wanna fall in love to you too.”

Then Sungmin closed the gap between them, placing a chaste kiss over his abused lips.

“court me… prove to me I’m gay.”

“but only to you…” the last words Sungmin said as kyuhyun embraced him in a hug that settles everything.

And under the clear skies adorned by the twinkling stars, two of South Korea’s brightest media personalities open another chapter in their lives.

a/n: let's have a deal.. i'll give the next chapter this week ....

but shove me comments to nomnom^^~

SO PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS? andddd ohhh thanks for the wonderful 42 upvotes:))

take care minna-san~