Chapter 9

"I cna't do this."

"Yes you can," sighed an exasprated Xiumin. "Trust me manager hyung made sure everything is ok."

"What you do?" I ask.

"Well, I ddn't want manager hyung to know that I know your secret so I just hinted to him that it'd be terrible if our maknae were forced to wear an overly y or revealing costume for the broadcast tomrrow. He seemed to agree and so now Luhan's wearing the y concept."

"Then what do I get?" I ask, not sure if I even want to know.

Xiumin smiled in a way I can only discrbe as demonic as he gestured towards the clothing rack.

"This."

Just one look at it and i felt my face pale. I'm doomed,

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"Wahhhh" a make up artist cooed.

"He looks so perfect."

"He look like he can be in Girls Generation!"

"Even better! He look even cuter and young and--"

"Wah he's prettier than me!"

Suddenly my chair is turned around and I found myself staring incredulously at my self in the mirror.

"So, what you think?" the coordnator ask. They all crowded around me eagerly with sparkles in their eyes and I really ddn't know what to say!

I feel like I just stepped out of a girl's comic. My eyes look bigge due to the make up they used and my face seems so gentler now. I know it cos of the technique the artist used but also it's because i'm actuall a girl now!!! And not a girl using guy make up tencnique like before but a girl with girly make up on and OMG you can totally tell i'm a girl. They even put a wig and... and... and...

"I can't go through with this!" I yelled turning nd suddenly trying to run away.

Suddenly I have 3 pairs of arms trying to hold me down but I break away.

"ZITAO COME BACK!" they yells as I run out the studio.

But I don7t turn back. I keep runing because OMG this is awful. As soon the others see me my secret is out for sure! I look like a girl I look so much like a girl! And it's because I AM a girl! There is nothing left of the male Zitao but his height! No now i'm just a freakishly tall girl and AHHH! I don't know what to do I feel like I can die.

"Tao! Tao!" I hear their voices calling after me.

I have to find somewhere to hide. Maybe i'll be able to miss broadcast. Sure i'll get into HUGE trouble if I miss a schedule but I'll get into even huger trouble if I am found out i'm a girl!!! This is so hopeless. Why my life like this?

I hear the voices coming closer, "Tao! Where are you you have to get on set!"

I won't let them find me though. I go into a dark deserted waiting room and hide inside a closet. I squat down on the corner of the closet and sigh. I no longer hearing any my name being called and I guess i'm safe.

Aigoo really why my life like this? I a regular guy (ok not regular cos I an idol) but I a regular guy who just want to live his life when this happen to me. Now nothing going rigt in my life. For starter i am a girl now and if people find out i am kicked out. Then the girl i like has a boyfriend.

Well, I guess i don't like ehr anymore. I give up. Because she as a boyfriend who is older and more famous than me and make more money. And me what I have? I am in a new group and barely famous like him and even i'm the youngest person in my group. I can't compete and now i'm a GIRL! a GIRL! so all hope is lost. All hope is lost in my life.

Look at me. I just a pathetic little girl sitting in a closet when I should be doing beauty contest for millions chinese TV audience to see. I just.. I just want to cry.

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*XIUMIN POV*

"Tao ran away!" a coordinator ran onto the set while we were rehersing and caused a ruckus.

"WHAT!?" the producer gasp.

"He saw himself in the girl's clothing and just took off!" the woman said.

"Is he still in the building?" asked te producer.

"Yes."

"Well, what you waiting for! FIND HIM!"

The make up team scattered to hunt Tao and I look at Kris who brow was furrowed.

"Kris we have to find Tao," I said.

"We don't have time because we have to reherse," Chen said.

"Ugh, this kid. He's being such a brat," Luhan said from where he stood in his mini pleather skirt, platform shoes and red halter top. "I'm dressed like this and you don't see me complaining!"

"That's cos it suits you," Lay smirked and Luhan hit him in the chest.

"Some shuold look for him too," director said. "We can't start without him. But not you Luhan. You need to reherse."

They didn't ahve to tell me twice! I ran out right away to look for Tao.  l went down the hall worried. What could have Tao run away. What did he see that make him run? It can't be that bad? I'm sure he'd be cute in the girl's clothes.

I shake my head. Woah! I mean I shouldn't think like that! Not about Tao! Maybe it just senstive for him because he is actually a girl now and it his first time actually being in girl's clothes as a girl. Ah, I should eally be the one to find him then since i the only one who know.

I go up and down the hall looking for Tao and ran into Kris.

"No luck?" I ask, obvious question since Tao not with him.

Kris just shake his head and we part ways again.

I check different rooms and finally I open on dressing room and see it all dark and about to close the door whenI suddenly stop. I hear a noise... or I thought I did. I held my breathe and froze at the door. And there I hear it it's like a sniffling noise. SOmeone crying???

"Tao?" I call.

Suddenly the noise stop and I sigh. It must be him.

"Tao?" I call again.

"Go away!" his voice sound shaky.

 I go into the room and cut on the light and I don't see anyone n there and I head toward the closet and open it and I see Tao squated down in there inside the closet and when I open it he look up at me and my heart it just... stop.

Tao look up at me, his eyes glassy with tears and his face a bit red. Long black hair cascade around his shoulders, and he wearing a oversize sweater, mini skirt and long pink socks that go over his knees with ribbon on them. His hair has cat ear headband on it!

"T,tao!" I say shocked.

"Don't look at me!" he say and push me and scramble to close the door again.

"What?"

"I look stupid."

He shut the closet door and i try to open it again but he holding it closed from the inside.

"You don't look s,stupid. You l,look--" damn it why I stuttering! It just Tao. "You look nice."

"I don't want to look nice!" he yelled.

"You want ot look ugly?" I ask.

"I dont wanna look like a girl!" he retorted.

"Tao..." I don't know what to say It hard to relate to what he must be going through but really he looks so nice I kinda want him to open the door just so I can see him again. And did I really just think that!?

"Don't make me go out there. I'm.... i'm scared."

And he really did sound scared in that moment. It really breaking my heart. This is my Tao and he needs my help.

"Tao," I began.

"Yes, hyung?"

"I promised to protect you right? WHatever you're scared of... it can't hurt you ok. Nothing's going to happen I got you."

And really I don't know what really he scared of. Is it the change in his image. Is it the change of his body? Perhaps it both. But I going to keep my word, dammit! There not many things in this world I can do but I can keep that!

Suddenly the closet door open just a little and so I swing it open and see Tao sitting there in the closet and he just looks so small and fragile my heart really going to break soon. But i have no time to do anything because then Tao fling himself into my arms crying.

"Hyung!" he said. "I'm so scared. What if they find out!?"

I startled but all I cna do is wrap my arm around him. My other hand pat his head,

"They won't," I said. "I'm here. Just hold my hand, ok... Gege here It's ok."

I say the chinese word for older brother this time and it seems to sooth him and He lets go and wipes his eye a bit with his hand and smile sheepishly at me.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"No need to apologize," I say, my heart beating erratically in my chest for some reason! I don't even know. "After all... th,that's what brothers are for, right."

"Yea," he said with a half smile, looking down at his patent leather shoes. "Brothers."

And he reached out and took my hand.

When we head back out Kris and he seem releived to see us though he looked down at our linked hands for a few seconds longer than I think he should have. I mean.. nothing's going on right? We just... we jsut brothers... But if that the case? Why my body it feel warmer? My heart...it beat faster.

-to be continued-

AN- more to come! XiuTao and of course TaoRis! It's a build up to it! so uhm... expect more jelly!kris. thanks for comments and subscripton!!