Chapter 11

"Supposing I was really girl... not that I want to be a girl but supposin I was. Do you think I'd be a good girlfriend, too?" I ask.

There was hesitation and I had to hold my breathe.

"Supposing you were," Xiumin said. "I'd say yes. You would be. And any guy'd be delighted to have you."

I can't help but smile and suddenly my body it react without me thinking or trying. I throw my arms around his neck knocking him onto his back and latch my mouth to his in a kis.

It make me really glad to hear that somehow because really I think I like him. I mean as much as I can if I'm a guy and... oh ugh my brain is confused. But I really like him. ANd I don't know f he likes me too because he kisses back and i feel the way his hand tighten the grip on my waist and I can't help but get a tingle through my body at it.

Xiumin is older than me so he more experience and before i know it I'm on my back and as I gasp in surprise he sneaks his tongue in my mouth and one hi hands move the my stomach under my shirt. THe muscles my stomach tighten when he tough them and I find i so nervous but it feel so good I don't want it to stop. I could burst.

His mouth move down and he nips and pecks at my jaw before on a spot just below my ear that makes the most sensual moan come from my mouth and my leg hook around waist.

"Hyung," I plead.

And suddenly he just feeze up and then after a few onds sit up.

"Oh my god Tao I'm so sorry!" he said.

"Huh, why you sorry?" I ask, sitting up too and raking my fingers through my now dishevled hair.

"I...I... you we-- I... omg I'm so sorry I took advantage of you when you a girl and--" he panicked, covering his face.

 I grabbed his pillow and threw it at him.

"Hyung stop you didn't take advantage of me. I kissed you first, ok."

"And OMG I kissed a guy!" Xiumin moaned, tkaing the pillow i gave him and putting his face in it in anguish. "OMG  KISSED A GUY I KISSED A DUDE!!!"

And that right there hurt. Hearnig him say that it hurt. Didn't he just say... oh wait but that's if I were a girl. SO if I a girl it ok but since I'm a guy it's not ok for him to like me? Does that mean he doesn't like me?

"It... it's ok, hyung... er oppa," I say slowly, trying not to show how my feelings were hurt. "I'm a girl now remeber so it's ok... You can kiss me all you want. It's no big deal."

"But you're tao," he said, removing the pillow from his head. "I always said you like a brother, right?"

"What if I don't want you to be my brother?" I said crawling near him and pulling the pillow from him and throwing it on the ground. "What if for right now we just forget that?"

He just look up at me as I'm hovering over him and finaly one of his hair reach up and my hair. His eyes are scanning my face from my eyes to my nose nad my lips. I don't blink or break my gaze with him and finally he say.

"You're exactly the same Tao. You neve changed to me and yet you're so... why I never feel like this before?"

What he saying isn't making any sense and I don't want to make any sense of it so I lean down and kiss him again on the lips. I don't want to think i just want to feel and so I do. His hands tangle in my hair before sliding down. THen he sit up and push me so i laying my back on the bed and he on top of me. He kisses me again and then sits up.

"Why you stop/" I pout.

"I think we should slow down... and not let whatever this is cloud our judgement?" he said.

I want to argue with him but I already feel like f I do it'll make him shut down. I don't know. Did I push him too far? He get up and grab hs things and then he go leave the room to shower.

"I hope you're not mad. You're the only one that knows my secret. I don't want you to be mad at me," I say to the now empty room.

Of course I get no answer and I sigh and go to the mirror and look at myself. I a bit red and my lips swollen from kissing with xiumin. I can't believe I kissed xiumin! Didn't just the other day I like Victoria? So why am I kissing Xiumin? I mean I like him... I guess. Yeah, I like him. But is it just because im a girl now or do I really like Xiumin!? Because when I became a girl my felings for victoria didn't disappear right? Aigoo I don't want to think about it. Xiumin's right we should just not do anything hasty!

I go and jump face down on my bed and then bury my head in my pillow.

"AHHH!" I scream into it. I can't beleive this. I just need to be a guy again then my life won't be so complicated! Especially my stupid feelings and Xiumin hyung can be normal around me too.

Well, he has bene normal around me thouugh. He treated me exactly the same since I was a boy and when I am a girl. He hold my hand, he protect me, he watch over me, he listen to me. Even if we both don't speak each other language pefectly he a good friend. So then why suddenly I want more?

It's rebound. That's it! Rebound from Victoria and I just go to the next person who is nice to me? I think...

Suddenly there a knock on the door and I sit up, hugging my pillow.

"Wh is it?" I ask.

"It's me," i hear Kris say.

"Come in," I say.

Kris come in and he look kind of apologetic and sheepish. He come inside and pick up Xiumin pillow that wason the floor and put it back on his bed.

"Hey you busy?" he ask.

"No, why?"

"Because, Lay need some things from grocery and asked me to get them," Kris explained.

"Hahaha tell im to get it he not your mama!" I laugh and Kris laugh too.

"No it ok. I wanted to go out anyway. DO you want to come with me?" he asked.

"SURE!" I say happily and I hop up. I always like going out with Kris and we been so busy I really haven't had any time to do anything with him even if it as simple as going to the market. "Let's go!"

---

*KRIS POV*

We about to leave the house when before we leave Tao ask the guys if any of them seen manager hyung around.

"Why? I think he still doing things out," say Luhan looking up from his book.

"Oh," Tao said and he look disappointed.

"Maybe he'll be back by the time we get back," i say to Tao.

We then leave the house.

"Hye Tao why suddenly you always around manager hyung? You aren't planning smoe solo activity, are you?" I ask.

"No," he said. "By the way thanks for asking me to come with you to the store. It been a long time since we get to just hang out just the two of us! I miss it!" he beam and smile at me and really it so sweet i just want to pinch his cheeks.

"No problem," I said. "I like hanging with you too."

And really it no surprise to me. I mean I laready know for a fact that Tao likes me. It's just whether or not he likes me in the other way that i don't know. SO now I gotta fnd out and be subtle about it...

"So Tao," I begin... "DO you like someone?"

"Huh?"

Ok way to be subtle Kris! I .

"Haha noting," I laugh.

"O...k..." Tao said.

We walking and suddenly he say, "Hey isn't the market over there." he point.

"Oh yeah but I lied I just want to leave the apartment with you," I admit.

"WHAT!?" he asked.

And I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. SHould I apologize?

But before I can suddenly he is laughing and shaking his head.

"You don't have to lie to me. I'd go out with you even if you just said you want to hang out," He shake his head and pat my shoulder.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "WHy you think you have to sneak to hang out with me."

"I don't know maybe you want to hang out with someone else... like I dont know Xiumin hyung."

And I don't know fi Im seeing things or not but I think I kind of saw Tao's race get just a little pink but he quickly turn away.

"A,anyway," he stutters do you think it'l be ok. It look like it going to rain but we don't bring an umbrella."

"It should be ok. my phone said it should be clear," I said.

Tao nodd and grab my hand and pull me down the street.

"Let's go get some fruit! I'm hungry!" he said.

And he pull me donw the street and I can't stop myself from smiling liek a silly person.

So as we spend the day just going aorund eating street food, especially a lot of melon, it was fun. It was really relaxing and fun to be ust the two of us for a change. And if I have my way it'd be just the two of us more often in the near future. Especially if he likes me back.

We're walking eating two pieces of melon when suddenly Tao points to a tall building.

"Hey do you think we can see our dorm from on top of there?" he ask.

"I think so it look tall enough," i said.

"let's look!" he said.

"Ok!"

Suddenly it thunders and it start raining so we runthrough the crown to get into the tall building and when we get there we're soaking we and panting.

"WAH! You said it wasn't going to rain," he accused.

"Don't blame me!" I said. "Blame my phone. It the one who predicted the weather."

"We need an umbrella. I spent all my money on those fruits though," he admitted.

"It's ok we can take the cab back from here I have money. Let's go up," I said.

He nod and we go up the elevator to an obsevartion deck that had a roof so that we wouldn't get wet. Tao ran to the window and lookd down at everything and gasp.

"Wow we're so high but it's too dark and rainy to see anything," he said looking down.

I join his side and look down too. We spend a few minutes like that just looking down at the dark wet city and just quiet when suddenly  hear tao sneeze.

"You ok?" I ask.

"I'm ok... just cold and wet," he admit.

I frown and take off my jacket and put it over his shoulders and he kind of blush a bit.

"Thank you," he say quietly.

"Come on let's go home. I dont want you to get sick," I said. "We can take the taxi."

I turn to go but then he grab my arm and pull me back.

"Wait just a few more minutes. I want to stay here a little longer with just you," he pleaded.

"You might get sick," I remind.

He look disappointed but really my duty as a leader means I can't elt them get sick. We both go back down and I get a taxi and we get in the back. I tell the driver the address and tehn settle beside tao.

"You feel ok?" he asked.

Tao nod, "Yeah. You shouldn't worry about just me. You can get sick too." he said.

"No not at all. Of course i'd be more worried about you," I say.

"Why because i'm youngest? Because i'm like a brother?" he pouts.

"No," I correct him. "Because I like you."

And suddenly everything just stop and his eyes widen and for a moment I think he gets it. He really understands. Luhan was right all I had to do was say the words. I like you. The magic words.

"Kris..." he says... "I... I like you."

My heart! My heart is beating so fast now. he likes me! He really likes me!?

"Tao I--"

"I like you so much! ANd Xiumin and Luhan and Lay and Chen I liek all of you. i'm so glad I got to meet you all!" he said.

Oh, he ment that like. UGH Why am I so unlucky!?

"Thanks Duizhang!" and Tao reach over and hug me. And he lets go and then leans his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep.

Ok, so maybe I'm not so unlucky. I think I can be content with this... for now.

-to be continued-

AN - what you think of the taoris and the taomin? kris is a dork ^o^ but it's cute thanks for comment and subscription!