Seunghyun blinked and looked at her again. Rather than saying anything. Seunghyun chose to laugh out loud, as if she just told him a joke. A big joke that sent him feeling funny in the core of his stomach. Bom frowned seeing his reaction, pulling her hand back, clasping both of them on her thigh.

"God, that's funny. You got me, noona" Seunghyun heaved a relief breath, clutching on his stomach.

"I'm telling you the truth, Seunghyu-"

"You must have mistaken him for someone else" Seunghyun quickly interrupted, Bom was taken aback at his interruption so she pouted.

"I know it's him" she defended with a high-pitched tone.

"Have you seen him face to face?" Seunghyun lazily ruffled his hair, simply don’t have the mood with whatever she had in her mind.

"Well, I..." Bom was trying to patch up a sentence, hesitantly.

"That's what I thought so" he blinked hard and pulls out his hair, suddenly feeling frustrated. There’s a gush of emotions were punching him in the chest but Seunghyun ignored it. His hand gripped on the steering wheel as he was sorting his mind.

"Look, Bom noona. I'm not trying to upset you but Kwon Jiyong is my friend so I don’t want to hear you accuse him doing something he never did" Seunghyun gave a glance.

"I am not! I recognize his face, Hyunnie" Bom scoffed at his words and turned to him fully. She tried to pull Seunghyun’s face in her hand. 

"No, listen to me. Let's drop the subject, okay? I’m not really in the mood to fight with you" Seunghyun stopped her by holding her wrist.

"Fight? All I did was telling you the truth and you wanted to fight me just to defend him? We've known each other for so many years but you believed him more than me?" she speaks in disbelieve, eyes widens at his absurd words.

"No, you know that’s not what I meant. I know him, noona. He's different. Come on, let’s just drop the subject" he pulled her hands and squeezed.

"Please" he assured her and she returned him a warm smile, nodding.

With that, Seunghyun pulled a satisfying smile and lets go of her hand. She pushed the door open and gets out from the body car. Before Bom could walk to her house, a thought suddenly crossed her mind. She knocked on the car’s window, motioning Seunghyun to slide it down.

“Seunghyun?”

“Yeah?”

“You trust me more than Jiyong, right?” Seunghyun appeared confused at first and then curled his lips, nodding his head. Her face glowed for a moment there, waving her hand at him before she slipped away and get inside her house. Seunghyun pulled in a breath, tapping on the steering wheel. He held up his chin and leaned back, wondering if he did answered her with sincerity.

-

It was weird.

Jiyong spared on a thought about it the whole day. Seunghyun was definitely being weird around him. The guy would sometimes take a peek at him and quickly turned away when Jiyong had seen him. Sometimes Jiyong would even look at Seunghyun back and asked if the guy had something to tell him. But Seunghyun would just shrug his shoulders pretending nothing happened and walked off with his friends.

Aside from Seughyun’s weird behaviour, both of them still had a lunch together during recess. Nothing special happened though. Seunghyun did crack a couple of stupid jokes that managed to put a smile on Jiyong’s face. He smiled as he recalled Seunghyun’s happy face when both of them were exchanging glances.

As Jiyong neared the club he spotted a girl standing outside of the club. The girl keeps on looking at her watch that made it seemed like she’s waiting for someone. Just when their eyes met, Jiyong struck on his spot. It’s Park Bom, the girl with Seunghyun last night.

“Hi” she approached him slowly.

“Hi” Jiyong forced a smile on his face and about to get in the club but was stopped midway, causing the boy to look up and faced her.

“It's you, right?” Jiyong jointed up his brows in confusion. Instead of answering he just showered her with unidentified stares. Pulling a deep exhale down her lungs, Bom settled her lips in a thin line.

 “Jiyong” she paused to look at his reaction. “Kwon Jiyong. Dongwook oppa's ex-boyfriend”

“How…” he tried to form a coherent sentence, perplexed by sudden question.

“Want to go grab a coffee?” Bom sincerely smiled, leaving Jiyong to stare at her, expressionless.

-

Eyes fixed on the rim of the cup, cold hands clutching almost too tightly against it as if seeking for warmth to embrace him, Jiyong somehow couldn’t put up with the fact Park Bom is now sitting before him with lovely gaze of hers. Dongwook hyung was right once again, she is pretty. No doubt about it. And now Jiyong suddenly felt his heart weakened, discouraged by his own thought.

Bom blinked when she notices his knuckles turned real white and the way his eyes flicker, she has to start speaking because the guy is obviously nervous. She swears her brain better start processing something appropriate. Now she believed talking to your lover’s exes is definitely one of the hardest things to do.

“I’m sorry for your loss” he bowed down.

Silence.

“I don’t have anything with Dongwook hyung anymore if that’s what you wanted to talk about” Jiyong timidly said.

 “No” She chuckled, the tension around them dissipated as Jiyong watched her face glowed in happiness.

“Dongwook oppa always takes care of you in the past and maybe I’ve been jealous about it" she recalled times they used to fight because Dongwoook was spending more times with Jiyong than her. It was good times, remnants of her memory that's still burnt in the back of her head.

"But I’m not here to do that” she calmly speaks, meeting his eyes for assurance.

For once, he felt safe and calm sitting with her, without any those intense moment between them, which he had expected earlier. It just felt so comfortable. A hole of silence pulled them in, stretching into another moment. Downcasted eyes of his were drifted to his own cup, staring blankly in his coffee.

 “How are you doing these days, Jiyong? You disappeared completely after you broke up with him. Dongwook oppa was searching for you before he’s gone. He was really worried” causes Jiyong to choke in his saliva. He bitterly smiled at her sentence, finding it funny.

“I’m not sure if I even supposed to contact someone else’s husband” Jiyong tried inserted humour in his tone and laughed a bit but failed miserably as frown was plastered on his face, sparks of sadness glow in his eyes making Bom felt guilty for asking such questions.

Right, Bom puffed her cheeks and holding the mug closer. It’s no doubt that she wasn’t really fond of the idea Jiyong keeps on meeting with her soon-to-be husband but seeing how Dongwook never give up on searching Jiyong made her felt concerned.

“Well, it’s more of a fiancé than a husband actually. He never had the chance to read the vows or even appeared in the wedding hall so I’m not sure if the title of ‘husband’ is even valid” she paused, taking a long inhale.

Bom bits her lips, holding her breath in with tears in her eyes because she felt like choking up. She tightened her grip, darted her eyes on her fingers as she touched the cold metal on one of her fingers. Her wedding ring, which Dongwook never had the opportunity to slid it in her finger. Jiyong watched as Bom pulled out the silver ring from her finger, which he assumed must be the so-called wedding ring.

“Is that your wedding ring?” he asked, eyes full with curiosity and she just had to smile at this.

“Yeah” she answered, giving him a brief glance before sliding in her ring back on her finger. It’s beautiful. Jiyong stared at the silver ring in her finger. For Jiyong, a ring is a symbol for each partner promising their commitment towards the relationship. A seal promise between two souls. He wondered how it feels to have someone put on a ring on your finger.

“How does it feel when Dongwook hyung wears it on your finger?” he blurted unconsciously, blinked when he met Bom’s eyes, realizing that he just spits out his thoughts.

“Wonderful” Bom watches as the flickers of sadness played in Jiyong’s eyes, thought if he ever cried for Dongwook when they broke up because she suddenly ad felt guilty about it.

“Well, that’s what I thought but, sadly, he died on the day we’re getting married so” she paused and chuckle for a bit, holding in her breath in a few seconds.

“He never had the chance to put it on my fingers. Luckily, there’s Seunghyun. He was the one put it on my finger” Bom settled her arm flat on the table and look him in the eyes.

Oh.

His hands that were settled on the table instantly bumped into his hot mug, liquid spilled a little. Thanks to his fast reflex, Jiyong quickly pulled away his hands, hissing at the same time. Grabbing his napkin, he wiped the spot that was burned and blew on it. Anxious. Jiyong fumbled with the hem of his shirt, felt like he was pulled into a hole of discomfort so suddenly.

“I’m really grateful that Seunghyun was there beside me, comforting me, hugging me close because I don’t think what I would do without him” Jiyong tried to read her eyes because he could sense another hidden meaning in her words.

“Actually, he’s the reason I’m wanted to meet you” Jiyong tilted his head a little.

 “I’m not sure if you know this but Seunghyun, Dongwook and I are like a family. We’ve been together for years and I know each of their personalities so much that I would notice even slightest change in them. And these past weeks, I found out that you’re his favourite subject lately. Do you and Seunghyun have something going on? Like dating or even sleep—to” she was out of breath, rushing out words like bullets but Jiyong managed to cut her off, fast.

“No. You don’t have to worry. There’s nothing going on between us” he said simply.

“Are you sure? Because it seemed like Seunghyun is starting to get attached with you”

“We’re just friends. Nothing more. I gave you my words” Jiyong sipped his drink .

“Right… I’m really sorry if you’re offended” Bom smiled, putting her hand on his for a brief moment.

“Too late. Offenses were already taken” he said in a humorous tone.

“Anyway, I just hope you can treat Seunghyun nice. He’s very special to me. I could see he likes being around you. He’s just like a kid that will get fond about a new toy of his so there might be times his actions can be a bit frustrating but I don’t hope you to avoid him. Just explain to him carefully and he’ll understands”

“You must have really like him” Jiyong casually blurted his thought.

“Like him? I love him, but not more as a brother of course” she cleared and smiled. Jiyong thought he saw a bright sparkle in her eyes, face glowing in happiness.

“I always wanted to ask you this. Have you...missed Dongwook oppa?” Bom searched for the boy’s gaze and he looked straight into her eyes. He appeared surprised as his eyes dilated for a second but quickly shying shy away from Bom’s sight.

“Because I missed him, very much” Bom sipped down her drink after lets out a relief sigh. Jiyong can feel his heart pounded hard, fast. Face turned red immediately, feeling flustered at the sudden confession.

“Don’t you, Jiyong?” she repeated again.

Jiyong found his train of thoughts working at her question, clutching on the mug as if his life depended on it. His eyes flickered at the sight of her wedding ring on her finger and felt a heavy burden tossed on him. The air was getting thinner, Jiyong uttered under his breathe low, gripped a fist of his shirt because Jiyong felt like he’s going to get sick.

-

"I'm sorry, Jiyong. I really do but we have to stop seeing each other for a while"

"You told me that you'll still keep seeing me if I break up with you” the pair of eyes that used to stare in his eyes was busy avoiding him now.

"I did. Yes, but not now... At least not until I get married"

"But I need you" He said in exasperated voice.

"I'm sorry, Jiyong" the guy turned around with his back facing him.

"Hyung" It seemed like the guy was bringing the light with him because the world has turned darker in his sight.

"Dongwook hyung" his pleading voice sounds so desperate to his ear and it hurts that the guy won’t turned around to him no matter how hard he called out his name.

"Don't leave, please"

"Jiyong" a stranded voice called out his name.

"Jiyong?" Jiyong blinked once when a guy shook his body lightly, pulling him out from his trance. Focusing his attention ahead, he can see those crimson eyes were watching him with concern written on his face. Grabbing his head, his fingers slid down his soft hairs before touching on his nape faintly.

"Hey, are you okay? You look pale" Youngbae grabbed a chair to sit beside Jiyong, as well as squeezing his shoulders gently. The action managed to switch on a part of himself, gathering thousand trains of his thoughts. He hit his head with a knuckle. How can he be so care less?   

"Yes, it's fine. I'm just a little tired" he yawned to support his excuse.

"If you want, we can stop here. There's still much time to cover the last two chapters anyway" Youngbae said.

"No, it's okay. We can continue. I can manage" Jiyong shook his head. Seeing how the boy still refuse listening to him, Youngbae shook his head slightly and smiled at his determination for studying.

"We'll take a fifteen minutes break then" Youngbae gets up and walk off.

Jiyong watched as Youngbae moved on to put on the revision book back on the shelf, feeling slightly guilty for interrupting their revision time. The exam was coming up, yet here he is daydreaming during the day.

"Thanks, Youngbae” Jiyong smiled warmly.

"Don't thank me. I'm just doing myself a favour" the guy shrugged his shoulder like it was nothing.

It was simply an excuse and Jiyong knew it right there. He knew Youngbae was just being considerate by giving him some time off. Perhaps, the guy was concerned about Jiyong and it made him feeling grateful having Youngbae as his friend.

-

Jiyong ended up dozing off to sleep while waiting his fifteen minutes break over. There is hand on him, caressing his cheek. It was gentle, electrifying touches were doing wonders to his stomach. The caress was careful, as if afraid of hurting him. Jiyong know this hand because it felt familiar. A smile crept on his lips, humming as he felt comfortable with the warm hand on him.

"Wake up, sleepy head" a deep rumble voice whispered in Jiyong's ear, causing him to stir a little. Shivers ran down his spine as warmth breath tickling his nape.

Eyelashes were fluttering attentively, fixing his brown orbs to see ahead. Jiyong let his mouth parted a bit, puffing his cheeks. His vision was kind of blur but he could see a guy was staring at him. He had his chin rested on his palm with another one was Jiyong’s dumpling cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Hey" The guy had a big smile on face, happily staring at Jiyong. It made him blushed a little knowing the guy had been boring a hole on him. Jiyong blinked hard and snapped open his eyes.

Seunghyun.

"Oh, it's you" Jiyong jerked on his seat, putting a big distance between them as he just aware the presence of the guy. Both of his palms were placed on his face, covering his warm cheeks. Taking a long inhale, he braved himself to look on Seunghyun.

"Wow, you sound disappointed" Jiyong could see a bitter smile tugged on the guy's lips. Seunghyun took a book on the table and flipped through pages. There’s nothing seemed to catch his attention but those sharp gaze continued staring on the book anyway.

"Sorry. I thought you're Dong-" Jiyong slapped his mouth quickly, suddenly realized what he was about to spit out.

He can't be careless. Seunghyun can't know the relationship between Dongwook hyung and him. He doesn't need to. Jiyong watches as those thick eyebrows pulled up in a tense line. Seunghyun was staring at him now, stopped playing with the book in his hand.

"You thought I was?" He looked serious now, frightening Jiyong for a moment right there.

"Just someone" the boy flicked his gaze the end of the corner and chewed on his lips while fiddling with his finger. A sign of nervousness, Seunghyun figured. He shook his head, feeling mixed of emotions waved through his chest.

"Did you think I was your brother?" Seunghyun came up with an excuse for Jiyong.

"Brother?" Jiyong asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, your brother. The one you told me about" Jiyong parted his mouth and blinked, realizing that he used to tell about Dongwook hyung before on the rooftop.

"Oh right. Yes, my brother" Jiyong hit his head with a knuckled and faked a laugh.

Seunghyun closed the book loudly and threw it across the desk. Obviously, it was out of purpose to catch Jiyong’s attention and it did, wide eyes were looking at him curiously. Seunghyun gets up from his seat, pushing his chair. He placed his hand on the table and leaned in closer, making Jiyong inclined his head backward.

"You know, Jiyong. Remembering what you used to tell me about your brother before, I could have mistaken you love him more than a brother. Don't you think so too, Jiyong?" he speaks in a low voice. With that Seunghyun smirked, carelessly ruffling Jiyong’s hair.

-

Jiyong sighed loudly. His attention was elsewhere right after Park Bom opened up the topic about Choi Dongwook. He can’t even focus his eyes at anything, always drove away in a trance. Enough with not gaining anything at the school, he even got scolded for making a bucket of mistakes through one night. Spilling drinks on customers, bringing wrong orders to the table, also, breaking glasses at the bar didn’t fail to be jotted down in his mistake’s list.

At last, after getting an earful from his manager, Jiyong was forced to leave the club and go home. He changed his outfit and stepped on the dance floor. Jiyong scanned the whole club. Bright colored lights flashed intermittently with the beat, barely illuminating the otherwise dark room. A thick crowd had gathered on the dance floor, moving rhythmically to the music the DJ was playing. All the tables were packed, groups of friends and strangers alike mingling with each other.

Alive, that’s what they looked at the moment and Jiyong felt like that’s what he lacks of. Maybe he needs a breather to take his mind off things.In a brief second, Jiyong was aggressively pulled in the opposite direction. The tug on his hand managed to drag his slim body into a large frame of Seunghyun. It seemed like the guy was saying something because Jiyong can see his mouth moved, muttering some sentences he wasn’t able to read. Sighing, Seunghyun captured him in one arm and peered down closer.

“Didn’t you hear me call your name?” he smelled like beer as he breathed heavily on his ear. Jiyong just shook his head helplessly, trying very hard to ignore the hand that was placed close on his , almost touching it.

“Are you having a drink with your friends?” Jiyong asked as he shooed away the hand that was slipping closer to his , watched as he saw a glint of amusement shown across Seunghyun, smirking.

“I’m drinking alone. Why?”

“Can I join?” and this made Seunghyun jointed up his thick eyebrows, stealing his attention. Playfully, Seunghyun pulled Jiyong’s body closer to him, crashing their body and breathed in his ear. The boy squirmed but still managed to keep his cool, looking at him. Grazing the tip of his nose on his ear, Seunghyun gripped on Jiyong waist.

“Amuse me” he said before slightly kissed on the boy’s earlobe.

Jiyong manage to keep him on his toes, amused at Jiyong’s action. The boy danced and played with Seunghyun through the night. He did almost everything but only with a condition that Seunghyun would buy him a drink. Seunghyun was hesitating at first because he knows that Jiyong wasn’t the type to drink at this age. Hell, the boy didn’t smoke for god sake.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine as long as you here”

Till he said those magical words, Seunghyun found his heart fluttering in happiness, head automatically nodded as a sign of agreeing with Jiyong’s condition. Seunghyun gave in after Jiyong gently took his hand in his and holds it while saying the sentence that sent him flying in the cloud nine. The boy didn’t stop drinking even though Seunghyun could see him face twisted in discomfort. It makes him think what drew Jiyong to drink alcohol at this late night. Needing a break for himself, Seunghyun whispered in Jiyong’s ear to he excuse himself. Those cheeks were painted in red as Jiyong grinned cheerfully, nodding.

-

He lit up his cigarette and inhaled deep smoke, smokes pulled into his lungs. Suddenly, a hand snatched the white tube from his mouth, making a frown draped over his handsome face and looked beside him, about to burst out in anger. Luckily, his anger quickly swept away by the freaking adorable smile plastered on Jiyong’s face. He turned away and cursed, muttering under his breath low.

“What are you doing in here alone?” the boy asked, voice unusually rasps drawing Seunghyun to cast a glance at Jiyong. His cheeks were tinted in pink, not sure whether if it was blushing or because of the cold. Jiyong foolishly grinned, lips pulled wide when saw Seunghyun looked at him and shyly looked away when the boy had noticed him.

“Just need to take a breather. It’s crowded in there” he replied and carefully darted his eyes on the boy. Jiyong’s eyes was fixed on the cigar, inspecting it closely as if amused by the white tube and was soon placed it near to his mouth. Startled by his sudden action, Seunghyun quickly seized the cigarette from his hand. Jiyong was taken aback, almost stumbled back on his feet.

“What the hell are you thinking? You don’t like smoking before, remember?” his tone was sharp, firmly warned the boy infront of him. Seunghyun watched how those surprised brow pulled into a tense line.

“Nope, never registered in my head before” Jiyong speaks low and those flush lips was tucked under his pearl white teeth, words slurred in a sentence.

Slowly, Jiyong shifted his feet and moved, interfering Seunghyun’s space and let out a heavy breath. The taller one was cautious as the boy made a step forward, challenging. There were a smell of alcohol, cologne and sweat combined altogether; Seunghyun could feel his head spinning, light-headed all of the sudden. Jiyong on the other hand, slyly brought his fingers up and tug the cigarette from Seunghyun’s hand, fingers brushing against his skin making the black-haired boy froze.

There were sparks, unidentified sparks in those pools of brown orbs and Seunghyun couldn’t deny it was pulling him, hypnotized him, and made him stunned on his spot. The aura Jiyong’s giving out tonight is quite strong, dark, emitting an alluring vibe around him. Those slender, bony fingers brought up the white tube to his mouth and in, cheeks sunken as he inhaled.

Jiyong managed to take a couple of puffs and Seunghyun could see the boy’s effort to fight the cough. He was pulling it off—Seunghyun thought for a moment, presenting an amused smile. Until a subtle cough was apparent to ears, Seunghyun raised his brow and smirked in victory. Though, Jiyong just narrowed his eyes and didn’t give in yet. He decided to just continue his game and play along, exhaling little puffs into the air.

“You’re different tonight, Jiyong” Seunghyun stated, continue to observe the boy next to him, causing Jiyong to sheepishly smile.

“How different?” he asked genuinely, tapping the cigar, dropping ashes down.

“I don’t know” Seunghyun shook his head weakly as he failed to pin point the changes on the boy.

Was it because of his outfit that has been hugging tight against his slim frame? Was it because of his voice somehow sounded sensual than it was supposed to be? Or maybe it was because of his eyes appeared to be darker under the skies of starry night?

Seunghyun gulped the lump stuck in his throat as he saw Jiyong brought a tongue, over his plump cherry lips. He tried to shove off his dirty thoughts or even images from running across his mind; anything that he may capable of doing to those sinful lips because if he did—he might not be able to hold himself. Likewise, Seunghyun managed to tear his gaze off those luscious lips but ended up staring on those perky butts anyway.

Damn.

“Are you checking me out?” Seunghyun blinked hard when he met Jiyong’s eyes, trying to pull himself altogether in one piece.

“No…I’m not… just looking” he bit his tongue when he stuttered.

Seunghyun was baffled, bewildered upon the question. He pulled his eyes and clasped his palm over his face, embarrassed over getting caught red-handed. Heart was beating fast, increasing its pace per second. Gosh, what the hell is he doing? Why in the freaking world is he acting like a school girl crushing on some boy? It’s weird, Seunghyun mumbled. These odd feelings are not good for him, Seunghyun thought, and perhaps it would be best if he leave.

“You’re leaving?” Jiyong asked when Seunghyun turned his back on him.

“Yes, to take fresh air” he put out a lame excuse.

“But you are here to take fresh air”

Darn his smart !

“Well, I guess I decided to change my mind” Seunghyun defended his excuse, anxious as he felt the warmth embraced his body. Jiyong is near, closer because Seunghyun could hear his hard breathing.

“Was it because of me?” he was being blunt on purpose, Seunghyun figured. Throwing the used cigar on the ground, Jiyong stepped on it hard.

Seunghyun’s body starting to tense when he felt the heat of Jiyong’s body enveloped him, he is so close to him. Too close. Thus, the boy smiled amusingly and casually puts his hands on Seunghyun’s broad chest, leaning dangerously against him. Seunghyun gulped down hard. It’s weird when he finds it hard to push Jiyong away. The shivers went down to his spines, world was spinning as scent of alcohol burning in his nostrils. Jiyong brought the tips of his fingers, trailed up to trace his handsome jaw.

“What move is this?” Seunghyun asked, raising an eyebrow and Jiyong chuckled a little, the tone of him seemed like an innocent boy.

“I don’t know” Jiyong exhaled thoughtfully, the smoky bitter smell of cigarette surrounding them.

“Flirting, teasing or anything you want. Can’t you tell?” he whispered low, moving in even closer that nearly crushing their body together.

Instead of answering, Seunghyun chose to bore his gaze on the boy. Seunghyun took a deep breath and bite his lower lips, grunting when those fingers were running down from his neck, playfully placed there. The boy’s eyes were down-casted, watching his fingers that were now resting on top of Seunghyun’s chest, teasingly trailed lower than it was supposed to.

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t know how to react?” Seunghyun met Jiyong’s eyes and swears he could see something else behind those dark orbs, lust perhaps.

“Yes…Wait, I mean No. No. No, of course not” Seunghyun was mentally slapping his head.

“You’re sure?” those slender arms were now wrapped around his long neck, looping in so their body flush against each other and Seunghyun took a sharp gasp, wary over Jiyong’s suspicious behaviour, something was pooling downwards and he doesn’t need to figure out why.

“You’re drunk” Seunghyun speaks sharply, exhaling a shaky breath, stating as if reminding himself that the boy was not in rational state, clear-headed or even wary of what he was doing. However, he can’t seem to stop himself from being drawn to Jiyong and let the shorter boy invaded his space.

“Am I?” a pretty smile curled on Jiyong’s lips, mumbling some more incoherent words that Seunghyun could possibly care less at the moment, too busy carving the sight in front of him inside his head. Seunghyun could hear the loud beating of his heart, it was getting louder that he wonders if Jiyong hears it too.

Before he could realized, his hands were already rested around the slim waist, the touch was so faint that Seunghyun could hardly stand it. Seeing how Jiyong didn’t reacted or actually bothered by his intimate action, Seunghyun braced himself and tightened the grip, placed almost close to his cute buttocks. Small excited gasped escaped from his mouth, suffocating.

“Do you even realized what you’re doing, Jiyong?” the guy asked in his deep velvet voice, nearly whispering because of their close distant.

To me especially; Seunghyun swallowed the last bit bitterly. At the back of his mind, he was wondering what made the boy turned tame tonight and how absurd Jiyong was acting right now. Seunghyun was holding Jiyong in his arm and it was impossible. It wasn’t even close to possible because Jiyong wouldn’t have let it happened. The boy was not the type to get careless, thoughtless or even flirty to begin with.

But without doubt the boy was testing his patience tonight, sending flirty looks at him and even teasingly brushing their skins against each other. It was a delicious temptation. Yet, Seunghyun knew he can’t do anything with the boy’s consent. Just because Jiyong is drunk doesn’t mean he was off the hook.

“Maybe, maybe not” Jiyong said drunkenly, playfully traced his thumb on Seunghyun’s lips, teasing. The guy on the other hand rolled his eyes at the fail defence, resisting to bite on the finger placed over his lips.

“Jiyong” Seunghyun chinned up the boy gently and tilted his head to get a closer look of his face. Intently, his eyes devours the image of the boy, hairs dishevelled messily, eyes almost turned black, scarlet cheeks and flush lips didn’t help from his imaginations going wild.

Seunghyun tried pushing his luck by leaned in further, the tip of his nose brushing against the boy’s right cheek. He saw those ears were turning redder, eyes stilled, down-casted as if waiting for him to proceed. Parting his lips, Seunghyun leave an open-mouthed kiss on those cheeks.

Eyes were darted back to look at his expression. Jiyong’s eyes that were now closed, shut completely so Seunghyun took it as a good sign. Hands were clutched on his shirt, tight. Kwon Jiyong was giving in, Seunghyun thought in his mind. He took a deep sharp of inhale as he placed another open-mouthed kiss lower, across his jaws and his lips travelled lower, tracing from his chin down to his neck.

“God” Seunghyun breathed in, feeling dizzy as those overwhelming feelings dumped over him. He can’t get enough. Jiyong smelled good, his scent was sweet and spicy at the same time, sending whirl excitement through his body. His skin was soft as he imagined and Seunghyun can’t resist himself to on a small spot behind his neck, nibbling on it. The guy let out a growl when he heard a soft mewl escaped from the boy’s lips, whimpering as the warmth of his tongue glided over Jiyong’s sensitive skin.

“Seunghyun” Jiyong paused and tried to push the heavy weight on him but a moan of pleasure escaped.

As soon as he met Jiyong’s gaze, Seunghyun could see his dark hooded gazes, filled with lust reflected in Jiyong’s eyes. Their breaths mixed, chest rose and fell, the corner of his lips resisting a full smile. Eyes fell on those red lips, looked dangerously tempting, inviting Seunghyun to tilt his face. It’s now or never, Seunghyun blinked, telling his mind to just get over with it. So he diligently leaned in and cupped Jiyong’s face, waited for their lips to collide. Yet, right a second before their lips almost touched, Jiyong instantly moved, leaving him empty and bare.

Almost.

“I…need to leave” Jiyong managed to say in a heavy breath, rashly taking a couple of steps back and turned around after threw Seunghyun a brief smile. Soon was fading away before his gaze, sandwiched between the big crowds of people.

That’s not quite he hoped Jiyong to say—after what happened.

-

“Jiyong, come on. I’ll take you home” Seunghyun tried to pull him by the arm but the boy pulls away and pouted.

“Look, it’s moon” he grinned mischievously at him, giggling like a kid, pointing at the sky on top of their head. Seunghyun smiled at this and followed from behind, watched as Jiyong leaping on his foot, wobbly trying to find his balance.

Right there, Seunghyun sill can feel tingling burn left on him. Electrifying current running through him veins drove him to chill and shivered. He wondered if Jiyong ever did feel the same, ual attraction to hold him and touching everywhere across his body. The burning desire to have him was erupting and out of control that he was sure, but hesitated in the end whether Seunghyun had saw his eyes sparkles in a teasing way, flirting.

“What the f.ck was I thinking? He’s obviously drunk and not in a state of mind to think rationally” he slapped his forehead, let out a long trail of curses as he kicked the wall. Hissing loudly when the pain stung in his feet. Seunghyun shut his eyes, forcing himself to swallow those words like a bitter medicine.

Forget it, Seunghyun. Just get over it.

“Funny. See…It’s following us” the boy giggled, cupping his mouth with the back of his hand, continue walking, head still fixed on the sky.

It’s like a dream seeing the boy grinning from ear to ear. He’s being childish and Seunghyun finds this odd side rather interesting than annoying. Seunghyun tilted his head and watches at dark sky and the moon. It was shining brightly. He never finds the moon to be so pretty but tonight, warmth came uninvited to his heart. The feeling is strong.

“Ahh!” The boy fell on his knees. Seeing this, Seunghyun quickly ran to reach the poor boy.

“I told you to be careful! Look what happened” Jiyong just silent on his spot, continued rubbing on his knees. The boy pulled knees to his chest and covered his face with his palm.

“Hey, does it hurt?” Seunghyun looks on his face but the boy moves away, sulking probably because his loud voice. It had seemed like Jiyong was being more sensitive when he’s drunk. Seunghyun puffed his cheeks and bent down on his knees. Slowly, Seunghyun pulls out his hand and reaches for the boy’s head, patting it attentively just in case Jiyong would swat his hand away like usually he would. After a moment, the boy leans in towards his hand, making his heart leaps in joy.

 “Does it hurt?” Seunghyun tried again asking with a gentle voice.

“It hurts” Jiyong answered with a low voice, he smiled again for the tenth time that night.

“Where does it hurt?” he asked and watched as the boy clutched his chest.

“It hurts so much, hyung” Jiyong looked up to him with watery eyes. Tears starting to trickle down, lips trembling with eyes drifted then, wandering around the ground.

Seunghyun stopped his action and take a clear look at him. Taken aback a little. He swears he could hear sounds of his heart crashing down. He got up on his feet quickly, a little too fast that he almost stumbled on his feet, staying far away and looks at the boy incredulously as if the boy would spread him disease. Hands running through the dark lock harshly and pull it a bit.

It’s not happening. This is not happening.

"Hyung…” Seunghyun flinched once the word entered his brain, snapping his eyes to look at the boy that has been looking sadly into his eyes.

The guy cautiously took steps back, clasped a hand over his mouth from letting out any sound. Seunghyun watched how Jiyong slumped on his bottom, sinking to the ground. Plastering a broken smile on his pale face, mouth trembling and hands clutched to his chest. He can feel tears watering in his eyes, Seunghyun punched his chest because there’s pain, stinging to the core, as if daggers were continuously plunged into his heart whenever he heard Jiyong called him hyung. It must be a mistake, Seunghyun persuaded himself.

“I’ve missed you” those words shot straight to his heart that Seunghyun hissed sharp, wincing. He felt his chest tightens and the air was suddenly thinner than ever. Maybe he should leave—now, right this moment, but his body was not listening because the sound of his heart breaking was too loud. 

“I wanted to see you” Jiyong was quiet and silenced, eyes pooled with tears, composed and stilled. Yet, the brokenness in his eyes was telling so much yet Seunghyun couldn’t grasp any of the emotions. He couldn’t read any of it.

“I really wanted to see you, Dongwook hyung” Jiyong cracked a cry.

Like a sharp pointed blade, it pierced right through his heart and Seunghyun flinched because the pain was so surreal. He took a big distance from him as if cautious of his words after this. He blinked once. Twice because the words just sinking in his brain. The heat around his eyes could be felt.

This is it.

Seunghyun broke into a bitter expression, lips pulled onto a straight line when he saw tears ran down the boy’s cheeks, not stopping. The masquerade that Kwon Jiyong has built after all these time, the false pretence he managed to plaster on his face after all these months were crumbling and shattered. Those mountains of lies that he had shoved into Seunghyun’s head fades away as soon the truth was spilled. Cruelly, it slapped Seunghyun hard on the face, countless times. And the fact that it actually hurts, flinched Seunghyun. He was hurting, in pain and the main cause was his brother.

His dead brother, Choi Dongwook.

“…Happy, angry, jealousy, sad, those feelings will come unattended, before you even realize it, you already fell deep in love...”

Bom’s words entered his mind, echoed in his eardrum that he suddenly felt numb. Never would Seunghyun thought he’ll figure love in the most heart-breaking way. Jaws were now clenched, tightened as those shaking eyes stared at the frail body settled in front him. He tried to heave a normal breathing until his head went dizzy, spinning. Or is it just him? The pain was unbearable, his vision turned blurry.

“You’re going to the death of me, Kwon Jiyong” Seunghyun shook his head in disbelief, gripping tight on his fist.

-

Usually right after he closed his eyes, a frightening nightmare always bothered him in his dream. One of the reasons that Jiyong had troubles when keeping his eyes closed, afraid that it will haunt him still. But last night was an exemption because he had a beautiful dream. A dream that he never even dare to think about but it appeared last night, sending butterflies flying his stomach.

Dongwook had appeared in his dream and Jiyong could felt any happier. He had missed those familiar brown locks, the pair of calm dark gazes, especially those warm smile that never fail to send warmth through his whole body. Electrifying; if Jiyong could describe it in one word. The guy, however didn’t say anything in his dream except from staring into his eyes and smiled, like he used to do before the storm. Before Dongwook hyung icily spats words onto his face, before the guy gave up on the broken relationship and before the older guy coldly left Jiyong, alone without anyone in this world. But meeting him in the dream was enough, more than enough.

A sunlight managed to woke him up that morning. Mind was whirling in haze, dizzy. His body is sore, tired and extremely exhausted. His heart was pounding much slower than it seemed along with his uneven breathing. A moment slowed down, paused as he carefully opened his eyes and blinked. Once, twice, his eyes dilated but then zoned out, staring into the space. Unfortunately, before Jiyong could zones out from his sanity, an indescribable pain came back punching him, piercing every part of his body. It had made him groaned in frustration and clutching on his stomach. Face pressed hard against the cold sheet as he shivered.

“God. Damn, it hurts”, he croaked in a hoarse voice and tried to breathe in. The alcohol effect dawned upon him and it was reacting, numbing every nerve in him. He must have had too much drink last night because Jiyong can feel his throat sore, burnt from consuming too much of the dark liquid.

A sigh of relief he managed to capture the moment his eyes blinked hard and closed it then, hard. There was a bright light burning his eyes and he grunted loud, bringing an arm over his head. Jiyong felt something was triggering his brain and he wanted to puke. To top it all, he felt sick and wearied. Sitting upright, Jiyong holds his head and looked up. Eyes abruptly dilated when he realized he was not in his room, neither his house but someone else’s.

“You’re finally up, huh?” a dark voice greeted him by the door.

“S-Seunghyun” Jiyong called out his name, low.

The tall guy greeted him the most inappropriate attire ever, covering his body behind a white bathrobe. A slight view of his wide chest were showing, making Jiyong to turn his gaze, and wandering it around the corner of the room. Seunghyun was leaning against the door frame, wet black hairs were covering his sharp eyes, water trickling down to his neck.

“Where am I?” Jiyong asked, blinking. Dark chuckles emitted then, echoing throughout the room.

“My place—or should I say ours, now?” Seunghyun was serious though there’s some humor in his tone.

“How’s your head?” the guy asked but he didn’t answer, still thinking reasons how he ended up in Seunghyun’s house. In his room, most of all. Jiyong uncomfortably shifted in the bed when he saw the guy make a move towards him.

Jiyong scanned the big room displayed before him. It was unlike his dark room, Seunghyun’s was painted white, a desk and a chair were placed in the corner along with the rack of books. There’s nothing much to tell though but the only thing that piqued his interest was the condition of his room. It was in a terrible mess that Jiyong wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out. Clothes were scattered around as if carelessly thrown away—desperately. A cold breeze caressed his skin, making Jiyong realized that his body was actually bare, without any cotton covering inches of his milky skin except for his boxer.

“Uhh…I’m sorry. I have this habit of taking of my shirt when I’m drunk” he assumed carelessly. Jiyong ran hands through his messy hair and brought the white sheet over himself, covering up from Seunghyun’s deadly stare.

"It's okay, Jiyong"  he paused. The bed dipped down as he approached the confused boy whom had his hand ran over his dishevelled hair, looked more disturbed than he ever was.

“Not like I mind though” Seunghyun shrugged, expressionless.

“Do you usually go around seducing people when you’re drunk too?” that question raised his eyebrow, perplexed.  What is Seunghyun saying? Jiyong thought carefully inside his head, wishing that he didn’t do anything stupid last night.

Warm breath tickled his neck, startling Jiyong so he turned around and found Seunghyun already next to him, “Don’t you remember about last night?” a husky voice whispered near his ear. 

A loud gasped soon escaped when there were kisses placed on his neck. Cold touches of fingers settled on the bridge of his shoulders caught Jiyong off guard, biting his lips from letting out any desperate sound.  He swore he could hear sounds Seunghyun’s lips smacked on his soft skin, kissing along his slender neck. It was embarrassing. Jiyong wanted to pull away and yell aloud for the guy to stop from whatever he’s doing because it was wrong.

So wrong.

His brain had stopped processing for a moment. Not until a hand slipped into his boxer for a brief moment, his fast reflexes responded. Before Jiyong could think what he was doing, he yelped and dragged his body, jumping off the bed. He could see a bathroom in the corner and quickly slipped in, not forgetting to lock the room. Right after he got in, Jiyong exhaled loudly and leaned against the door. Heat began to crawl up his body and face, feeling his skin flushed in red. Panic. Dizzy. Confused.

What the hell just happened?

-

Ten minutes finally passed by and Jiyong was still numbly stared ahead, gazing on the cold tiles. His brain refused to cooperate this morning, pushing him to the edge, nearly frustrated. He bit on his fingernails as Jiyong tried to refresh his mind. Nothing about last night registered in his mind after he dumped alcohol in his throat, just pieces of puzzles scattered on the back of his head.

“Jiyong”

There was a knock, another came when Jiyong still didn’t respond.

“Jiyong, are you okay in there?” he could hear Seunghyun’s voice on the other side, sounded concerned.

“I’m fine” he answered weakly, voice cracked in between. No, you are not fine, Kwon Jiyong! Jiyong clasped over his ear when he heard his inner voice speaks, yelling at him.

“Open this door, Jiyong” he could hear frustrations trailed in Seunghyun’s voice, still knocking on the door. Jiyong chewed his lips and shook his head. Opening the door wasn’t really what Jiyong had in mind right now, it was not even in one of his choice.

His eyes were shaking, body trembling anxiously. Standing up straight on his feet, Jiyong look at the image reflected before his eyes. His eyes were red, puffy as if exhausted from crying, slim body flushed in scarlet. Yet, his attention was now solely fixed on the mark across his neck. A purple coloured bruise was spotted on one of his sensitive spots. His bony fingers cautiously touched the angry mark, tracing it. This looks like—

Click.

Jiyong shocked when he saw a reflected image of Seunghyun on the mirror. Quickly, he turned around and faced the taller guy that has been boring a hole on his body. How the hell did the guy have in here? As if reading his mind, Seunghyun waved a key on his hand.

“You don’t look fine like you said, Jiyong” the guy pushed the door shut, locking it. As if Seunghyun was afraid that Jiyong would get away, run away from him. Jiyong shuddered unconsciously, looking past him to the closed door.

 “What happened last night?” Jiyong spontaneously blurted. The curiosity was killing him. He couldn’t help himself, those words were coming out before he could processed it. The boy watched in horror as Seunghyun took a step further, closing their distance.

“You tell me” his fair eyebrow jointed up teasingly. They’re switching glances now, infamous smirk crept on Seunghyun’s face making Jiyong to bit his inner lips.

“Stop joking around, Seunghyun” he hissed.

Jiyong holds his gaze, gripping his fists till his knuckles turned white. He backs up a bit when Seunghyun starts to walk and cornered him at the edge of the wall. He trapped her in between of his arms and gives him a stare. Those pair of strong arms holds up each side of Jiyong, making him feeling even smaller.

“I don’t know, clothes scattering around, woken up in a bed, love bites; what do these things were telling you?” it sounded playful to his ears but Seunghyun’s face was showing that he was far-off from amusement. Intensity in his eyes rises between their gazes. Jiyong swears he could sense the different tone he used just now.

“You’re bluffing” Jiyong said sternly, forced out a bitter laugh. Jiyong’s heart is starting to beat, maybe because his face is too near with him. He tried to push away Seunghyun, feeling suffocated but the guy surprisingly caught his hand and settled it in between them.

 “I am not” Seunghyun spoke, emphasized the word. Jiyong swears there were a flash of hurt in his eyes until soon displaced by rage.

His dark eyes bored into him for awhile, the shorter one remained dumbfounded. The boy coldly turned away when Seunghyun shifted to brush his lips on him, lips grazed on his cheeks slightly. Seeing how Jiyong bluntly rejecting him, Seunghyun gripped on those beautiful jaws, forcing Jiyong to look at him.

 “We slept together last night if that’s you want to hear”

His voice grown deeper as he speaks, mocking. He was sure his face was not looking pleased anymore, instead constricted in pain and sadness. Before Jiyong could open his mouth, the guy threw another hard blow, not even waiting for the boy to consume those words in his brain.

“In other word...” Seunghyun paused, grazing his lips on Jiyong’s earlobe with a heavy grunt then, whispering sharply.

“We f.cked”

__________________________________________________________________________