It was all dark and quiet. Too quiet.

Sehun looked back and forth, didn’t know where he was. A dot of light from afar attracted his attention. He narrowed his eye brows, debating whether moving forward or searching around for more info. Something jolted in his stomach when he made his first step ahead, giving him a hunch of what waiting for him was not good at all.

The dot became bigger as he got closer and turned out to be an open door to somewhere else familiar.

Sehun hesitated a bit at the final step outside since he realized where he was heading to. A woodened latter leading to a red brown house above showed up not far from him. But it’s a little different from what he could remember. It was new and fresh.

Sehun scanned around before slowly climbed up, many questions running through his head about what was going on and why he was here of all the places. A noise from the inside cut off his thinking. Wiping away the dust on his jean, Sehun couldn’t help but dropping his jaw as he saw two little boys sitting with their backs facing him, being absorbed in a white box in front of them.

So it is a dream.

“Ouch, it hurts.” the smaller one yelped in aching as his friend applied merbromin on his arm with uneasiness all over his face.

“Ouch, dude could you be a bit tender?” he scrunched his nose and jerked back, blowing cool air continuously to the wound to ease the pain

The darker skin boy threw a piece of cotton wood into a dustbin nearby, gruntingly shoved all the stuffs in his backpack, not forget to bite back.

“This will remind you not to fight against them without me, you . You’re lucky that they didn’t break your nose.”

Still focused on his open wound, little Sehun stole a quick glance at his buddy, trying to cool down the atmosphere by any kind of aegyo he could put into his voice

“I know and I’m sorry. But there's no need to vent your anger on my poor wound. It’s bad already.”

“Excuse me for my clumsiness. Find a girl with soft manners to hang out!” little Jongin retorted, kept on rummaging in the white box for a bandage.

“Eww, you know I don’t like girl.”

“Fine, then go for a boy if you want, I don’t care.” he rolled his eyes in annoyance, wondering where this childish conversation would go.

“Do you think I will ever find someone that loves me?”

The seriousness in the voice made him turn back and stared at the latter for a split of second before hit his not injured arm jokingly

“Of course you will dummy.”

“How do you know?” the boy with white pale skin bit his lip questioningly

“I just ….do, okay?”

“But….how?”

Finally giving in, little Jongin scooted over his best friend’s side with white bandage in his hand, a big grin curved at the corner of his mouth and eyes was filled with determination

“I’ll tell you how it works. I’ll cast a spell that whoever you take here and share a passionate kiss in our tree house will be your life partner forever.”

“A spell?” little Sehun laughed out loud, his eyes turned into a thin line in joy “Are you eight or what?”

“Whatever, you .” the tan skin boy crossed his arm grimaced “I’m trying to help you here.”

Then he tugged the latter’s arm and started his bandaging process without any mercy, ignored the groan with pain coming from his friend.

At the door, Sehun silently watched the scene in front of him with a small smile. He almost forgot about what had happened that day. Then with a blink, he found himself standing at the back area of the Spring Lake resort with snow covered everywhere and Luhan, his Luhan, was running toward him. The elder boy threw himself into his embrace and mumbled softly against the skin of his neck, sending chill down to his spine.

“I miss you, Sehun ah.”

Sehun closed his eyes, praying that he was not dreaming, that the person was hugging him meant what he had said and willing to be with him forever. But like the first time, he blinked and everything disappeared in vain.

“LUHAN, NOOOOO…..”

Snapped his eyes open, Sehun found himself staring at the ceiling blankly for a second, his back was all wet by the sweat and his heart beating rapidly like he had just completed a marathon race. This was the worst nightmare he had ever been through and it hurt like everything was so real in front of his eyes. And the touch of Luhan…

Luhan

Luhan

Sehun groaned out loud at the thought of that name came across, rolled over and buried his face into the pillow. He could feel his head a little dizzy due to the amount of alcohol he had poured down his throat last night.

“You’re awake?”

A familiar voice brought his attention to the kitchen. Now that he recognized he was sleeping on the sofa in someone else’s room.

Jongin slowly drank his juice while watching his best friend rising up, hiding his face between his palms in frustration. He let the maknae has a few minutes to gather himself together before spoke up again, this time a hint of worry could be easily heard in his voice.

“Care to explain what happened yesterday?”

Sehun looked up, stared at him for a while without saying anything as if he was recalling the whole event that pushed him to the fact of drowning his sorrow in drink.

“How did I get here?”

Jongin was surprised at the question because he was expecting more than explaining to his buddy the situation he had caused last night.

“Wooyoung hyung called me. What else do you think?” he rolled his eyes in disbelief “You’re lucky they didn’t kick your out like other brats.”

The other didn’t respond to that answer. Frankly, he didn’t care anymore. All his dreams and hope were destroyed just in ten minutes sitting in the café shop. Now he felt…..so empty.

Sehun stood up and walked toward the bathroom. He needed something cold to yank him out of this mess and give this headache away.  Looking at the reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t see any “Sehun” in it but a boy who helplessly fell in love with a wrong guy instead. What the hell of living happily ever after? That thing was never for him, why he didn’t see it from the beginning. His conscience told him to find a way to see the whole story from Luhan’s position and understand for him but his heart was hurt so much it refused to let the brain work properly.

Stepping out with a wet messy hair, Sehun was welcomed by a pissed off Jongin who was leaning back against the bookshelf, arms folded firmly in front of his chest.

“What happened Sehun?” he tried to lowered his voice to show his sincere concern “And don’t you tell me it’s nothing because Yixing hyung just texted me asking why the hack Luhan hyung crying his eyes out all night and didn’t want to talk.”

Sehun stopped in the middle at the mention of the Chinese boy. It’s such a burden knowing that his baby deer was suffering great misery and he couldn’t do anything because he himself was suffering the same. He wished he could feel some kind of resentment toward Luhan so that he didn’t have to jolt back whenever the image of him flashed by but from the bottom of his heart, he knew that he had fallen too deep for that boy, this love would be something haunting him for the rest of his life.

“It’s none of your business”

The younger one mumbled, slowly made his way to the couch and gathered his belongings.

“Did you two fight?” Jongin raised his voice, seemed tired of his friend’s weird behavior.

Fight?

Sehun wanted to laugh out loud at that word. Was it a fight? If it was, could he and Luhan be able to make up after one night? If it was, could he just pretend nothing happened, pulled Luhan into a tight embrace and never let him go again?

Could he?

No he couldn’t. Because it was the end.

“Hey, where are you going?”

The tan skin boy called after as he saw the latter didn’t answer his question, keep approaching the front door.

“I’m late for the shooting.”

Sehun replied without turning back. However, when he stepped out of the door, he suddenly looked back with the saddest expression Jongin had ever seen in his eyes and murmured something almost inaudible.

“Your spell doesn’t work Jongin ah.”

With that he slammed the door close behind his back and slowly dragged his legs toward the entrance. Whether liked or not, he had to face this day like a man, even though that man already lost all his heart and soul.

*********

Luhan leaned against a big tree on the top of the hill, a full bag of equipment was placed at his legs. He wanted to sleep a bit to keep himself energized enough for the shooting. Actually, he didn’t know if Sehun would come or not after the meeting last night but a small part of him was praying the other would show up because the last thing he wished to memorized about the love of his life was the image of Sehun playing violin passionately, not the boiling anger in his eyes that woke him up countless time at night.

This morning, when Wong Hao saw him in the office, he had been freaked out by his student’s considerably swollen eyes, messy hair and lifeless walking steps. Luhan refused to answer any question about his physical and emotional condition, resisted to focus on the technique of the shooting and quickly excused himself out the room right when they’re done discussing.

A noise snapped him back to reality. He opened his eyes to see Sehun was standing in front of him, hand holding tight his violin case. For a split of second, Luhan wished to take all that back. He would rather have the younger be angry at him than seeing both of them struggling to pretend to be okay in this situation. And above all of these feelings eating him alive inside was the helpless craving of the touch of Sehun who was just 5 meters from him.

Wiping the dust on his , the Chinese tried to flash a strained smile

“Oh, I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“Yet you’re still waiting.”

Sehun mumbled in his sore throat, his low voice became as emotionless as his face’s expression. It was harder than he thought because right now he didn’t know which mask to put on. Seeing Luhan made him want to fight back all the obstacles on the way of their road to happiness. But on the other hand it also reminded him where he was standing. They were caught in a vicious circle without a way to escape and he had failed at remaining the balance of this relationship.

Mentally shook the thought out of his mind, Sehun put down the case and brought out the violin. They had agreed what to do for the shooting and he wouldn’t be more thankful because talking to Luhan was the last thing he asked for at this moment.

“When do we start?”

Luhan was busy preparing the camera, a little bit startled at his sudden request. He looked up but Sehun quickly shifted his eyes away, avoiding making any contact.

“Just for a minute” the older one let out a small sigh, dropped his attention back to the equipment in his hand “Er…do you need time to practice first?”

“No, it’s okay. Call me when you're done.”                                       

Sehun inhaled a long breath and his heels to walk toward the grassland not far from there, feeling the cold breeze playing with his brown hair freely. The smell of spring could be easily sensed in the air with many colorful flowers began to blossom under warm sunray.

He remembered the first time Luhan took him there and proudly announced this as the beautiful shooting place he had chosen. They had shared many chaste kisses under that big old tree up to the hill before returned to the dorm that day. He remembered how happy he was back then when he finished the piece of music for performance today. He didn’t tell Luhan that he wrote it all by himself to show how their love survived and grew stronger every day. It’s supposed to be a surprise but now it’s like a dragger stabbed in his heart.

“Sehun ah”

His stomach jolted back one more time at that sweet voice. Sehun tied himself in his position for a moment, swallowed the sticky lump lodged in his throat before turned around, locking his eyes with Luhan’s. They stared at each other in a good minute as if there were so much to say but none of them knew where to begin.

“Are you okay?” The Chinese broke the silence “You look pale.”

“I’m fine. Let’s finish it!”

Sehun closed his eyes, hold the instrument under his chin, supported by the left shoulder, the other hand placed the bow on the strings and started to play. This was the first and might be the last time he played for Luhan so he didn’t want to keep any feeling against his chest any more.

The song was played with slow melody and low tone at the beginning, just like the first page of their story where both of them crossed their paths without knowing what they were looking for was right beside them. Then the tune gradually became faster and hitting the right notes high on the E string was crucial, remarked the day their love bloomed like flowers in the spring. Sehun wished there was a better way to tell Luhan how much he loved him and willing to do anything for him but at this moment, words seemed not to be the right choice and all he could do was drowning his heart and soul into this piece of music.

To a person who was searching for the perfection of art, Luhan was completely attracted by the scene displayed in front of his eyes. There's a grace and sense of refinement in the wrist angle of the hand and the way the younger holding the violin was a little like a proper golf grip. It's firm but relaxed, steady but easy. It's like holding a fragile animal, a bird or a small rodent that you had to hold it with enough conviction so that it won’t flop away and fall or get hurt, but you had to be gentle so as to not crush it.

It was not until he saw Sehun looked straight at him in the camera frame, a trail of tear falling down on his cheek did Luhan realize the song was ended. He didn’t know if it was because of the affection of the atmosphere or because those tears would be the last thing imprinted on his mind that Luhan stood frozen without saying a word for a while.

They just gazed at each other, letting the emotion take control.

If he could turn back the time, Sehun was sure he still fell for that Chinese boy with no doubt because loving Luhan was the best thing that had happened to him so far, even though he had no clue how to carry on without the latter by his side from now on. But it could be worse. At least he believed Luhan was doing what he wanted to do as a good son.

If this was fate, then just let it be.

“Luhan, let’s take a break.”

Sehun said in a voice choked with emotion and Luhan knew it’s not about the shooting any more.

It’s about them.

A break from us.