The lingering scent of their lovemaking filled his senses as he burrowed his face beneath the blankets, shielding his eyes from the sun.  The bed sheets smelled faintly of his favorite shampoo, soap, and... her.  His body become aroused the more he inhaled.  He reached out towards his left, searching... and came up empty handed.

Youngbae pushed off the mattress and leaned up on his elbows, his eyes adjusting inside the brightly lit room. The blankets fell down his well honed muscular back until they landed loosely around his hips. He looked over his shoulder to see if she had moved towards the bathroom or mini-kitchen.  But the room was silent.

He heard the door to her bedroom shut across the hallway.  It was followed by the sound of luggage being wheeled away, the noise irritating him, as it faded down the hall. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, letting out a short bitter huff.  His jaw harden and his eyes turned stormy.  She wasn't even going to say goodbye to him.

Youngbae sat up and swung his legs over the bed, angrily whipping the blanket and sheets off him.  He padded towards the bathroom, turning the cold showerhead on full blast. 

Amina tapped her foot rapidly against the barstool, checking the time on her phone once again.  C'mon unnie... What's taking you so long? she thought to herself.  It had already been a full hour since she knocked on Hanna's suite, explaining she had to be back early to pick up a hospital shift.  A shift that didn't exist.

She tried to still her shaking hands, concentrating instead on cutting the potato pancakes she'd made as she waited.  She just wanted to leave before Youngbae woke up.  It'll be better for the both of us, she reasoned, her heart stopping at every creaky noise she heard inside the pension.  She glanced nervously towards the hall where her luggage awaited, watching for footsteps on the stairs. 

Forcing herself to look away, Amina grabbed her fork and shoved more food inside .  She didn't even taste it as she chewed, her thoughts running rampant.  Amina felt her cheeks flush as she replayed their lovemaking from last night.  She could still hear him groan against her ear, his body heat enveloping her throughout the night.  She let out a shaky breath and attempted to spear a strawberry.  But her hand shook so bad that she finally gave up and shoved the plate away.

Amina could feel the emotions rising as the minutes ticked away.  Part of her wanted to wake up by his side, to be held in his arms and savor the moments they shared until they had to leave.  But the other half wanted to shield her from hurt and avoid prolonging the inevitable.

She thought about putting up a facade, carrying on around him like it was no big deal.  That she wasn't affected by their lovemaking from last night.  That she would be able to move on without him just fine. 

Amina twisted and bit her bottom lip.  Yeah right!  Who are you kidding? she bitterly thought to herself. 

She didn't want to say goodbye.  It made everything too final. Unshed tears clouded her vision. She angrily blinked them away.

God, she was a mess!

The sound of luggage thumping loudly against the staircase roused Amina from her deep thoughts. She quickly stood up and grabbed her plate, heading towards the kitchen sink. 

"Anything left for me?" Hanna smiled, walking behind Amina to the refrigerator.  She grabbed a carton of orange juice and searched the cabinets for a glass.

"Neh unnie," Amina said. She grabbed a plate off the counter and filled it for Hanna.  "Here you go," she said, laying the plate next to a set of silverware.  She kept her face down, avoiding her cousin's gaze.  She spotted Hanna's luggage next to hers in the hallway and swiped the car keys off the counter top. 

"Where are you going? Did you want some breakfast?" Hanna asked, re-capping the juice container. She watched as Amina made her way towards the luggage.

Amina turned around and walked backwards, hoping she was far away enough that her unnie couldn't see the sadness that still lingered in her eyes.  "I already ate," she apologetically half-smiled. "I'm just going to put our luggage in the car..." She felt the backs of her legs hit the luggage and reached down to grab the handle.  She jumped as she felt the warmth of his hand swallow hers. She gasped, quickly pulling her hand away.

"Ah, Youngbae," Hanna smiled.  "Would you mind helping Amina carry our luggage out?"

Amina panicked.  She didn't even want to turn around. "A-ani, I g-got it," she shakily replied, using her hair to shield her face as she looked back down.  She tugged on a small exposed portion of her suitcase, avoiding his hand.  But it was futile.  His grip was too strong.

With great reluctance, Amina followed the length of his arm, raising her gaze until she met his piercing brown eyes. His jaw was tense as he clenched his teeth, his eyes expressing the quiet fury he felt within.  Amina knew he would be upset that she hadn't stayed with him last night, but she hadn't expected him to be this angry at her.  She gulped and quickly looked away.  "I'm going to start the car unnie, so hurry up okay?  I can't be late for my shift," Amina lamely supplied for his benefit. 

"Neh, neh..." Hanna murmured, full of food.  She nodded her head and swallowed a large gulp of orange juice, turning her back towards them.  She forked her potato pancake and plopped it into , muttering under her breath, "God, what's the rush..."

Amina felt Youngbae's gaze on her and knew her ears were turning red.  She went to grab Hanna's luggage and led the way out of the hallway towards the foyer, the sound of the luggage wheels mirroring the havoc inside her heart. 

She left the suitcase behind the black M-5 BMW, clicking the trunk release button on the car key.  Amina went to the driver's side and unlocked the car doors, inserting the key in the ignition.  She shut the door and started the car, turning on the heat warmers.  From the rear-view mirror, Amina watched as Youngbae grabbed their luggage and placed it inside the car.  He shoved the trunk shut and was gone.

Amina glanced over her right shoulder to see where he went.  She yelped as he rapped his knuckles hard against the driver window.  He jerked his head at her, signaling her to get out.

She glanced at him briefly, before noticing the middle console from the corner of her eye, seeing the auto-lock button within her reach.  Her hand impulsively started to reach for it.

Youngbae grabbed the car door handle before she could lock it, an incredulous look on his face.  He opened the door wider for her to step out. "Unbelievable..." he gritted quietly under his breath. He couldn't even look at her he was so angry. 

Caught in the act, Amina dropped her hand to her side and stepped out.  She jumped slightly when he slammed the door behind her.

She started walking back towards the pension, immediately regretting her move when she heard him march up behind her.  She change directions and headed the opposite way, her steps quickened slightly.  She flinched when she felt the grip of his hand on her arm, swinging her around to face him.  She immediately wished he hadn't.

The torment on Youngbae's face made Amina bite the inside of her cheek.  His eyes accused her.  His lips pressed firmly in displeasure.  She could tell he was trying to calm himself before speaking.  She waited, her eyes turning wary.

Youngbae exhaled, his breath creating white puffs against the chilly morning air. He was jacket-less, the cold air creating goose bumps along his exposed arms.  But he was oblivious to it all as he tried to calm the heated feelings inside him.

Amina crossed her arms over her chest, hugging the cardigan sweater to her body.  She tucked her fists inside the crook of her elbows so he wouldn't see how bad she was shaking. 

"So you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" he raised an eyebrow arrogantly at her, stepping closer.

Amina searched his eyes, seeing the hurt there.  She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

He let out a humorless half-laugh, a painful smile curving his lips.  "Are we back to this again?"

She looked away from him and stared at the river.

"Answer me," he pleaded, his deep voice cracking.

Her heart broke at the sound of his voice.  Amina whipped her head around and looked into his face.  She shook her head slightly, her lips trembling.  "What do you want me to say?"

Youngbae stared at her in disbelief.  He couldn't believe this was the same girl he'd made sweet love to hours ago.  He shook his head at her.  "You have nothing to say to me?"

Amina opened and closed , stilling the tears that burned in the back of her eyes.

"Did last night not mean anything to you?"

She pressed her lips close.  Last night had meant the world to her. She took a short breath and said, "Last night was a mistake."

"A mistake," he softly repeated, his face leaning into hers.  He watched her eyes carefully.  "When?" He swallowed hard, the muscles in his throat working. "The first time?" he gently whispered.  He saw her eyes grow soft. 

"Or the second time?" He waited, watching his words sink into her.  He could tell she was trying her hardest to forget.  "Don't lie to me," he quietly begged, his lips inches from hers.  He reached out and placed a hand on her hip, curving his palm around her back. 

Pulling her close to him, Youngbae leaned down and gently brushed his lips up against hers.

"Don't," she cried against his mouth, the tears spilling forth.

He shook his head and clenched his teeth. "I can't..." He kissed her again, his anger fading inside as it was slowly replaced by a longing hunger. His lips moved over hers, caressing every curve and hollow. 

Amina felt her walls crumble, her willpower vanish.  She opened and kissed him back, as hot tears streamed down her face unchecked.

His heart leapt at her response, his eyes turning greedy as he broke off their kiss.  He searched her face, a possessive feeling sweeping over him upon seeing her swollen thoroughly kissed lips.  "You want me."

Amina could see behind his words, the reassurance he wanted from her. 

"You still love me," he said, waiting.

More tears filled her eyes.

"Say it."

"Ani." Her heart died inside.

Youngbae pressed his lips together and nodded.  His eyes turned hard as he continued to stare down at her.  "You're really going to marry him, aren't you?"

Amina choked back a sob as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Thanks Jiyong-ah for all the hospitality... please tell Seungri and Ji-Na unnie goodbye for us," Hanna's voice broke into the background as Jiyong walked her out.  She saw Amina and Youngbae standing a few yards behind her car.  She immediately spotted Amina's tear streaked face and grew alarmed.  "Mimi? Are you okay?" she called out.

Amina hastily wiped away the tears.  She nodded her head and sniffed.  "I'll be there in a sec..." She looked back, watching Youngbae walk a few yards further away. She heard Hanna walking closer to them.  "Just get in the car unnie... please," her voice broke.

Hanna looked between Amina and Youngbae.  The pleading sound in Amina's voice made her want to march over there and demand what was going on.  She couldn't see Youngbae's face, only his profile and his fisted hands against his side.  He refused to acknowledge them. She looked back at Jiyong.

Jiyong eyes took in the scene before him.  He didn't like what he was seeing but it was out of his hands.  He nodded at Hanna, reassuring her.  "Just get in the car," he said, his voice grave.  He placed a hand on her arm to usher her towards her car.

Hanna looked at Jiyong, noticing he wasn't as worked up as she was.  She grew suspicious and immediately shrugged off his hand. She watched his eyes, seeing the guilt there.  Her eyes narrowed, her voice hard.   "Kamsahamnida, but I can walk by myself."  She turned and headed towards the drivers side, looking back one last time at Amina and Youngbae.  She buckled in and watched from the rear view mirror.

Jiyong watched Hanna's angry profile and silently cursed under his breath.  He looked back at Youngbae and Amina and could see things weren't going well.  He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and headed back inside the pension.

"Just go," Youngbae bitterly ordered. He heard what he wanted to know.

Amina could see that he was still angry at her.  He couldn't turn even around and face her.  She bit her bottom lip in agony, tasting the blood there.  She didn't want to leave like this, didn't want things to end this way.  She walked the few yards that separated them until she stood directly in front of him. She looked up at his face, hating the torment that lingered there. 

She didn't want to see him hurt anymore.  She'd have to end this now.  She'd hate herself for it later, but she told herself she needed to be strong for them. 

"I've been honest with you since we've been here." She said through tear-glazed eyes, "I told you I was going to marry him.  That I have to marry him."

A tick worked the side of his face.  He could feel himself get worked up all over again.

"You knew this... before you asked me to spend the night with you." Amina's nails bit into the palm of her hands as she continued.  "If you can't handle it, then you shouldn't have asked."

"And you're handing it so well?" he sarcastically remarked, his eyes going to her tear streaked face. 

She shrugged her shoulder at him.  "It is what it is."

Youngbae felt the rising tide of fury wash over him, the sting of angry tears close behind.  He bit his cheek and looked up into the sky.  But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep the feelings down. After several minutes he turned to look at her with unshed tears in his eyes.  He nodded.  "So this is it..."

Amina choked back on a sob. 

"Jagi..." he begged, reaching for her.

"Don't!" her lips quivered.  She shook her head, brushing his hands away. "Don't call me that.  I'm not your jagi... and I'll never be your baby."

His face crumpled at her words.

"I thought we could be friends, but you were right.  We can't. We can never be friends..."

Youngbae's heart accelerated.  He was losing her.  It scared him.  "I can try..."

Amina let out a bitter half-laugh, her eyes glistening.  She stared into his eyes and calmly asked.  "Can you honestly tell me that you only want to be friends with me? That you'll be fine spending time with me knowing that I still belong to someone else?"  She watched as his eyes turned stormy, his fists clenching.

He didn't say anything.

"I didn't think so," she said miserably.

With nothing else left to say, Amina headed towards the car.  She opened the door and got in, strapping the seatbelt across her body.  Hanna sat and waited for an explanation, but Amina was too upset to oblige her. "Just drive please..." Amina begged, her eyes swimming with tears.

Hanna pressed her lips together.  She put the car in drive and headed towards the main road.

Youngbae stormed into the pension and headed straight towards his room, slamming the door in his anger.  He began stuffing his clothes inside his luggage, keeping his hands busy so they wouldn't lash out at anyone or anything.  He didn't want to believe it.  She had left.  It was over.

He hunched over the bed and squeezed his eyes shut, the pain throbbing inside his chest.  The walls of the room felt like they were closing in on him.  He couldn't breathe right, his quick gasps of air echoing loudly inside the room.  He heard his door open and looked over his shoulder.

Jiyong saw the torment in Youngbae's eyes and felt something inside him snap.  He walked over and embraced him, feeling Youngbae's shoulders shake uncontrollably with anguish.  Jiyong felt his lips tremble, the sting of tears in his eyes, as he held Youngbae; understanding the hurt his best friend was experiencing.

Youngbae grabbed a fistful of Jiyong's shirt and clenched his teeth against the pain.  He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek and cursed, "!"  He pushed off Jiyong and paced the room, a fist raised against his mouth. He stood next to the large window that overlooked the river and raised his arm against the frame, leaning on it.  He laid his forehead against the glass, allowing the coldness to cool his emotions.

Jiyong walked towards the windows and laid a reassuring hand on the back of Youngbae's shoulder.  There was nothing he could say to Youngbae that would ease the pain he was feeling inside. 

They stared at the river for several long minutes.

"So is this what you mean when you say 'love is painful'?" Youngbae laughed humorlessly, his eyes bleak.

Jiyong stared at Youngbae's profile, his heart aching for him.  "You love her?" he quietly asked.

Youngbae turned to look at Jiyong, the realization hitting him. His eyes were helpless as he turned away and gazed back outside the window.  "It doesn't matter. It's too late now."

"It's never too late."

Youngbae turned and watched Jiyong walk towards the door.

"When you're done packing, come down."  He turned to see Youngbae's wary gaze on him.  "After a stiff drink, I'll explain."  He closed the door behind him and left.

Ji-Na walked downstairs through the quiet pension, wondering where the hell everyone else was at.  She was hungry and irritated.  She walked into the resting room right behind a quiet Youngbae.  He didn't even greet her this morning, irritating her further. 

Jiyong was waiting for them... or at least Youngbae it seemed.  She only noticed two sets of glass tumblers and scotch nearby.  She saw Jiyong's eyes on her and nodded her head.  "I'll take one too," she said, ignoring his raised eyebrows.

Youngbae glanced briefly at Ji-Na before turning back towards Jiyong, ignoring her presence.

She grabbed the drink off the countertop and sat down away from them on the couch, fanning through a magazine.  She called over her shoulder, "Where is everyone?"  She sipped the drink and grimaced, spitting the heavy scotch back into the glass.

Jiyong looked over at Youngbae's closed face before replying.  "Oh... they left.  Hanna and Amina says 'goodbye' and apologized for leaving so early.  Amina had an early shift at work today, so they had to leave right away."

Ji-Na looked over at Youngbae's profile, watching him take deep swallows of the amber liquid.  She had known Youngbae for almost ten years now and knew he never drank easily.  She immediately caught on, her eyes turning sad.  "So it didn't work?"

Youngbae turned to face her, his eyes confused.  He turned to Jiyong to see if he knew what Ji-Na was talking about but it appeared he didn't.  They both turned towards Ji-Na, waiting for her to explain. 

"What do you mean?" Jiyong asked.

"I mean... she still left." Ji-Na set down the magazine and made her way back towards the kitchen.  She sat her drink down on the counter and looked at Youngbae.  "You let her leave?"

Youngbae's hand clenched around his glass, his lips pressed firmly together.  "She left on her own."

Ji-Na let out a half laugh, her head shaking in disbelief.  "Youngbae-yah... of all the things you're good at, love is not one of them," she chided.  "Do you know what you let go of?  Do you know what a good thing you had?  This girl..." Ji-Na felt her anger rising.  "This girl... is one of a kind," she looked over at Jiyong and continued with her one sided conversation.

"You know, I tried to make her jealous... make her hate me.  And what does she do? She makes me eggs...she braids my hair.  She continues to cater to me."  She looked over at Youngbae, seeing how much her words got under his skin.  "And when she does something to make you jealous, what do you do?  You become bossy, rude... and say mean things."  She shook her head at him.  "Maybe she is better without you then." She started to walk back towards the hallway.

"She's engaged," Youngbae bit out.

"Who cares!" Ji-Na turned around, her eyes flashing.  "She's not ing married!... And even if she was, it shouldn't stop you."  She felt so mad at him, her chest rising and falling in indignation.  "You're a fool if you can't see how much that girl loves you."  She turned around and started towards the hallway, bumping into Seungri on the way.  "Show's over Seungri... Let's go home!"

Seungri looked wide-eyed at Ji-Na's retreating back and Jiyong's and Youngbae's gazes.  He felt like he lost an important part of the conversation and didn't know whether or not to go or stay.  Seungri decided he should at least do what he initially came downstairs to do.  He took a deep breath and gathered his courage. He approached Youngbae, noticing his hyung's eyes lost in thought.

A million things were running through Youngbae's mind.  He was vaguely aware of Seungri's approach until the maknae stood in front of him.

"Hyung," Seungri bowed deeply, his eyes nervous.  "About yesterday... mianhae, I didn't..." Youngbae held up his hand, stopping Seungri's apology.  He became more nervous the longer Youngbae stared at him.

"Seungri-yah," Youngbae said, his voice rough.  "I need your help."

"Neh, hyung?"

"I need her back in my life," Youngbae said with a determined glint in his eyes.  "Will you help me?"