Amina worked , the denial on the tip of her tongue.  She didn't know how he found out, but it didn't matter now. She needed to explain.  Amina shook her head, "It's not what you think."

"Mwuh?" He raised an eyebrow at her and arrogantly asked, "So you don't have a fiancé?"

She heard the pain in his voice and closed her eyes.  "I do, but..."

"But what? You just conveniently forgot to tell me?" He scoffed softly under his breath and sat up, scooting down towards the end of the bed.  He grabbed his boxers and put them back on.  He sat on the edge, his back turned away from her.

Amina looked desperately at his back, silently willing him to turn around.  She could feel him distancing himself from her, both physically and emotionally. Panicking, she found herself rambling. “I… I wanted to tell you, but,” she swallowed.  “But the opportunity never came up.” She cringed at how awful her excuse sounded.

He looked over his shoulder at her.  

Amina sat up slowly, tucking the edge of the bed sheet over her s.  “I planned on telling you… I-I just didn’t know that you and I would be moving so fast.”

“You didn’t know?” Youngbae hung his head for a moment.  He turned around and faced her. “Or you didn’t care?”

Amina didn’t know what to say.  What could she say?  She should have told him in the beginning, well before things got heated between them.  But how was she to know that things would have progressed the way it did?  She shook her head slightly.  “Of course I care…  I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the beginning.  I should have told you.” She grappled for something to say; something that would make things right between them. But nothing came to her.  She chose the truth instead.  “I was… afraid.”

“Afraid?” He looked at her in disbelief.  “Afraid of what? That I would find out your secret? That you’ve been playing me for a fool this whole time?”

“Ani!” Amina shook her head vehemently, denying his words.  Her eyes pleaded for him to understand.  “I was afraid of my feelings for you.  Because I thought that it was something that I could control… but I can’t,” she whispered.

If her words were meant to soothe his ego, it didn’t.  He scoffed at her admission, unwilling to believe for a second that she didn’t have other intentions.  “And your fiancé? Do you plan on telling him about us?”

“Ani…” Amina quietly replied. 

“Ani?” Youngbae repeated incredulously.

Amina remembered the words that David spoke to her a few days ago. When he said them to her at the time, she couldn’t comprehend how he could be so forgiving, but Amina knew now.  It was something she wished for Youngbae to understand as well.  “Whatever I choose to do before getting married is my own life.”  She shrugged her shoulder delicately.  “When I get married, my life starts over with him. Everything else won’t matter.”

“Including me?” he asked pointedly.

“Bae…” Amina begged.  “I didn’t mean it like that…” She wanted to start over.  She wasn't explaining it right.

Youngbae smiled humorlessly.  He didn’t know what kind of messed up relationship she had with her fiancé, but apparently swinging and dating others before marriage was okay between them.  “If a physical relationship was all that you wanted, you could have told me in the beginning." He looked up and saw her flinch slightly at his words.  "Then we wouldn't have to mess with all this confession stuff."

Amina painfully whispered, "That was never my intention."

"Wasn't it?" He sneered.  "What else could it be?  You expect me to believe that you have genuine feelings for me when you're promised to someone else? That's a bit much, isn't it?" He raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her.

Amina realized there was nothing that she would be able to say to him that would make him view her differently.  He wouldn't understand.  She lowered her eyes and stared at the comforter instead.

He glared at her bent head for a few moments before finally making up his mind.  "So what do you want in return? Clothes? Jewelry?"

Amina looked up at him in confusion.

"Maybe money?" His voice grew hard.

"I don't understand what you're asking."

He bitterly curled his lip.  "It seems like we both want something out of this.  What's your price?"

"My price?" She shook her head, still confused.  "I don't want anything..."

"Surely there's something you want," he taunted.  After a second, he added "Or, you can think about it and tell me later."  He stood up and moved towards the bedroom door, turning on the light. 

Amina squinted under the blinding light, the magical moment they shared earlier now gone.  She still didn't know what he was referring to, but the hardening of his jaw and angry tone of his voice slowly penetrated her haze. 

"I'll call you about my schedule next week," he callously continued.  "Or, will it just be easier if I show up at your place?"

"For?" Amina asked.

He let out a half laugh and bitterly replied, "For .  What else have we been talking about?"

. The word vibrated throughout Amina's mind, making everything clear.  He was propositioning her.  The pain and hurt were evident in her eyes as she gazed up at him.  But instead of the Youngbae she knew, the man that stood before her was hard and unyielding.  He was too angry at her, which she could understand.  There was no way he was going to let her explain tonight.

She felt her lips quiver slightly, upset over his words.  "Please don't do this," she begged.

He momentarily cracked under her spell but his guard came back up.  "Put on your clothes."  He opened his bedroom door.  "And get out."

Amina bit her bottom lip, the tears rushing to her eyes, blurring her vision.  She glanced around the room, seeing their clothes scattered all over the floor.  Feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, she didn't want to expose herself more to him tonight than she already had.  "Could you turn around please?" she requested quietly, looking past him towards the wall.

He sneered.  "I've already seen and felt every inch of you.  There's no need to play innocent."

His words felt like a slap to her face. Amina gripped the sheets tighter to her person.  Closing her eyes, she requested again.  "Turn around."  She opened her eyes to find him still standing there.  "Just turn around!" she cried, tears escaping her eyes as the emotions boiled over. She bit her lip to stop the anguish gasps from escaping, but she couldn't control the small spasms inside her chest.

Youngbae turned around and faced the door, his hands fisted against his sides.  He worked his jaw and bit his lip over and over, trying to control his anger inside.  He felt like hitting something... or someone.  He heard her erratic breathing behind him, along with the muffled gasps and sniffles.  He knew she was crying and it tore him apart.  He wanted to turn around and take back all the sick words he just said.

He heard Amina put on her boots.  She wouldn't look him in the eye, but Youngbae could see her face clearly.  The red of her nose, the runny mascara lines and the fresh track of tears down her cheeks.  He impulsively reached out to embrace her, but pulled back.  "I'll call a cab."

Amina looked up at him, her eyes spilling over with more tears.  "Don't.  Don't bother.  I'll find my own way home," she bitterly replied.  She brushed past him towards the hallway, but he placed a hand on her arm to stop her.

She glanced up at him for a heartbeat, her eyes swimming in pain.  She pulled away from his grip and turned.

He immediately let go of her and watched her walk out of the apartment.  Out of his life.

Amina felt the heavy weight of shame descend upon her as she waited for the elevator lift to make its way down the first floor.  She wished she could stop crying.  There was nothing left to cry about.  What was done was done.  She just needed to bury this night from her memory and move on.  She told herself she would do just that.  As soon as she took care of her careless mistake tonight... then she'd be able to move on.  Amina pulled out her cell phone from her purse and searched for Dr. Park's number.

The elevator reached the first floor of the building and Amina walked out, not paying attention to anything but her phone.  She collided into someone.  Not caring who it was, Amina bowed deeply and avoided eye contact. "Mianhae..." She side-stepped them and turned to move away.

"Amina-ah?" It was Seungri.  He was blurry-eyed and his cheeks were flushed, but he instinctively sobered up when he saw her face.

Amina looked up in alarm, not wanting to attract any more attention tonight.  Little did she know, anyone who saw her face could tell that she had been crying hard.  Her disheveled hair and smeared lipstick stains against her lips and chin indicated a woman that had been thoroughly made love to, but the tear tracks on her face mocked otherwise.

"Are you okay?" asked Seungri, coming closer to her.

Amina felt the tears start up again, welling up in her eyes.  "Neh," she shrugged.  "I'm just heading home."

"What did hyung do to you?" His voice rose, his anger becoming more apparent.

Daesung entered the building, shouldering a tipsy Jiyong in tow.

"Nothing," Amina replied, shaking her head.  "It's nothing Seungri-yah.  Please don't worry about it."  Her tears spilled over before she could stop them.  She didn't care to brush them away as she continued out the building, her feet eating up the pavement.

Daesung looked up in alarm as Seungri took the emergency exit upstairs.  "Hyung," Daesung tapped Jiyong's arm to sober him up. He leaned into Jiyong's face and warned, "Something's up."

Youngbae was in his room, removing the blood smeared sheets from his bed.  His mind was still on her; her tear-stained face etched in his memory.  He bitterly balled up the sheets and tossed them in his laundry pile.

"Hyung!"

The door to Daesung and Youngbae's apartment crashed open as Seungri marched inside.

Youngbae walked out of his room into the hallway, confused by the commotion. He narrowed his eyes on the drunken figure standing by the apartment door.  "Yah!" he yelled at the maknae.  "Watch the door."

"What did you do to her?!" Seungri yelled, his voice slurring. 

Youngbae could tell that Seungri was visibly drunk.  His anger cooled a bit as he warned, "Nothing. You're drunk.  Go to bed."

"Then why was she crying? Is this how you treat her?" Seungri stepped forward into the living room.

Youngbae moved closer, his annoyance vibrating in his voice.  "This is none of your business.  Stay out of it."

"If you can't treat her right, then you should let her go."

Anger flared up in Youngbae's eyes.  "I'm warning you Seungri.  Stay out of this."

"Ani... " Seungri moved closer.  "What did you do to her?  You made her cry, you ing bastard!" He took a swing at Youngbae, missing in his state of intoxication.

Youngbae instinctively reacted, punching Seungri in the lower jaw, sending him crashing into the coffee table.  The glass broke against his fall, scattering bits of glass shards all over the apartment floor.  The sound was loud enough to cause the occupants of the elevator lift to come running in.

Seungri got up, grabbed Youngbae by the arm, and pulled him onto the floor.  They grappled for a few moments, rolling around in the glass, until Daesung and Jiyong pulled them apart. "What the hell is going on?" yelled Jiyong, instantly sobering. He held Youngbae in check while Daesung pulled a belligerent Seungri aside.

Youngbae shrugged off Jiyong, his arm bloody from all the glass.  He worked his jaw and said, "Get him out of here."  He walked back into his room, shutting it forcefully.

Seungri was bleeding profusely from his mouth. 

Daesung looked at him and declared, "I think you need to go to the hospital." He looked at Jiyong.  "We need to call him in."

"Ani..." said Jiyong.  "We shouldn't attract attention tonight."  He walked over and looked at Seungri.  "... You do need a doctor." He watched as more blood spilled on Seungri's shirt. "Go get him a clean shirt," ordered Jiyong.

"Give me Dr. Park's number Seungri," demanded Jiyong.  "We're taking you in."

“Kamsahamnida,” Amina bowed deeply as she took the prescription paper from Dr. Park. “And thank you again for not asking any questions.  I just…” Amina’s voice cracked.  She bit her bottom lip and controlled herself before beginning again.  “I just didn’t think I would ever need this.”

Dr. Park gently patted Amina's back and consoled her as best as she could.  "It's fine, Amina-ah.  Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here.  But tonight, this is just between patient and doctor.  Your matter is confidential."

Amina nodded her thanks and stuffed the paper inside her purse, intending to fill it out downstairs at their local pharmacy before heading home.

Dr. Park looked at Amina up and down.  She noticed immediately that Amina had arrived without a jacket.  "Do you need a ride home? I'm about to be off my shift."

Amina mulled it over and nodded her head. "Neh... I could use a ride."

"Okay. I have one emergency come up.  But then we'll get out of here."

Amina nodded her head.  "Do you need assistance?"

Dr. Park looked at her closely.  "Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Neh," Amina replied, half-smiling.  "I need something to keep my mind busy."

"Alright.  The emergency ward, room five. A prolific patient, so you know the rules."

"Neh, " replied Amina. 

Amina headed downstairs towards the emergency room, turning immediately to her right to enter where the less life-threatening cases waited.  She walked into the staff lounge and put on a white lab coat, tucking her purse inside a large pocket, and grabbed standard examination tools for her assignment.  She passed by a mirror hanging over the community sink and briefly checked her appearance.  She cringed slightly at what she saw.  Quickly, she the water and scrubbed her face clean.  She grabbed her hair and put in a high bun, closing the lab coat closed over her short dress.  She hoped she looked professional enough for the patient.

She knocked briefly on the door to Room 5 before walking in.  "Annyeongha..." she called out mid-way before cutting off short.  She immediately recognized the patient.  "Seungri! What happened?" She rushed over to his side, noticing the fresh blood stains on his shirt.

Seungri let out an unrecognizable sound, his mouth filled with cloth.

Amina glanced wildly around the room, noticing Daesung sitting nearby on the visitor's chair.  "What happened?"

Daesung shrugged his shoulders.  "I have no idea.  They just got into a fight and hyung and I was there to break it apart."

"Fight?" Amina cast a worried glance both their way.

"With Youngbae hyung," furnished Daesung.

Amina turned back to Seungri, her voice rising in alarm. "He did this to you?!"

Seungri groaned.

"More like Seungri probably did it to himself." Daesung added.

Seungri scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Amina pulled latex gloves on and grabbed some gauze from an overhead bin.  She went over to Seungri and took out the cloth inside his mouth.  Using a penlight, Amina looked into Seungri's mouth, noticing the gaping gash along his lower gum line.  She folded a couple of gaze squares inside his mouth and told him to bite down.

"You're going to need stitches. Maybe five or so, but it should be fairly quick." She shut of her penlight in disgust and looked back at Seungri.  "I can't believe he did this to you."

"I think hyung actually has it worse.  His arm was bleeding heavily, if I recall," said Daesung.

Amina turned to him in surprise, her eyebrow raised. "And how many stitches is he getting?"

"None."

"None?"

"Ani... he refused to come with us."

Amina worried her bottom lip, torn between her concern over Youngbae's wounds and the hurtful words she was still reeling from. She swallowed hard and returned to Seungri, putting clean gauze inside his mouth.  "So what were you fighting about?"

"You," Seungri quietly replied.

Amina looked up into his gentle eyes, surprise on her face.  "Me? Wae?"

"Because he made you cry," Seungri's voice hardened slightly.

Amina lowered her eyes and shook her head slightly. “I told you, Seungri,” she looked sadly into his eyes.  “It’s nothing.”

“Amina-ah,” coaxed Daesung. “You can tell us what’s wrong. We won’t judge.”

"So naive and stupid," she whispered to herself.  The water started to turn cold, waking her up from her misery.  She turned off the water and wrapped herself in a towel before heading to her room.  She pulled the prescription from her purse and eyed it for a few seconds.  She may have made a mistake tonight, but she didn't want it to be a mistake for the rest of her life.  She immediately took the pill and downed it with water before getting ready for bed. 

She cried herself to sleep that night.