The next day he couldn't wait for noon to come. He didn't have anything to do until then, so he just went to the river earlier than he had to. When he was about to sit down on his now dry bench, he was stopped by a familiar bark. He spun around, crouched down, and opened his arms widely for the dog that almost knocked him over when she reached him. Henry had to laugh. "Hope! Stop it!" he giggled when he tried to push the dog away while it tried to over his face.

The old lady laughed as well when she reached Henry and Hope. Henry smiled brightly and stood up, then he smiled at Mrs Kim. "Hello, Henry-ah. It's been a while since we've last met. How are you?"

The young couldn't stop smiling. "I'm fine, thank you, Mrs Kim! What about you, how are you?"

"Oh, normal, I guess. It's nice to see you again."

"I'm glad, too!" Henry bent down and kept on ruffling Hope's fur when she suddenly barked again and sprinted away back into the direction they had come from. When the young man looked up he had to laugh, seeing Zhou Mi being circled by the excited dog, though Hope stopped when Sungmin bent down and caressed the dog. Even from the distance Henry could see that Sungmin was smiling.

Henry pouted. "Hope!" he called the dog and she immediately ran back to him, letting him cuddle with her.

The other two men approached them and Sungmin laughed. "Jealous~?" he asked and stuck his tongue out at Henry.

Henry pouted again and tried to put on and innocent expression which failed when he fell onto his back while Hope was towering over him. He started to laugh uncontrollably while he tried to cover his face as good as he could to keep Hope's tongue from coming in contact with his face.

"Hope, stop it!" Mrs Kim's voice resonated and the dog backed away. Henry on the other hand couldn't even get back up because he had to laugh so hard. "Henry-ah, don't lie there on the ground. At least get up, okay? I don't want you to catch a cold. Your parents wouldn't ever let you leave the house if you caught one."

Henry nodded and slowly got up, still having to laugh. As soon as he stood, he went to Hope and ruffled her fur. "You little brat! I am going to blame you if I caught a cold!"

As if the dog had understood him, she looked up with puppy eyes and barked once.

Mrs Kim smiled and then turned to Henry again. "My dear, won't you introduce me to your friends?"

The Canadian bowed in an apology and turned to the other two men. "Well, this is my dear Mrs Kim. She's the closest to me, I think. At least if you don't call my parents. And you already know about Hope." He turned around to look at the dog but she had already run off towards the water. Henry shook his head. "Whatever, Mrs Kim, this is Zhou Mi-hyung and next to him, that's his friend, Sungmin-hyung."

The old woman nodded. "It's nice to meet you two."

Zhou Mi bowed slightly. "It's nice to meet you, too. I already heard a lot of good things about you," he said and glanced at Henry. Sungmin bowed, too, and said that it was nice to meet her as well. The four of them continued their walk along the river and while Sungmin easily started a conversation with Mrs Kim, Zhou Mi and Henry started to fall back.

"Henry-ah?"

"Hm?"

"You know... can I tell Sungmin? I mean, that you have cancer."

Henry diverted his eyes slightly to the side. "No, please don't. He will turn away. Like everyone else. He will ask you to not see me again and in the end he will win."

"No, Henry, Min-ah isn't like that. He wouldn't turn away."

Tears appeared in his eyes. He hated to talk about his soon to be death. About the cancer. It was okay with his doctor but... like this in privat? No, even though he coudn't keep his mind off that topic, he hated talking about it. "No, you don't understand. Everyone's like that. No one wants to stay with me as soon as they know. An old woman who lost her husband and who didn't even like me in the beginning because she thought I was living on the streets and my parents - that's everyone I have. Everyone else turned away when they heard about my sickness though there isn't even the slightest bit of danger for them."

"What about me?"

"You won't stay. Because you won't be able to look into my eyes when my end comes."

"I though you wanted to ask your doctor to... you know..."

"Help me die? Yes, that's true. But that day, you would feel it and you wouldn't be able to look into my eyes because if you did, you would think about how guilty you are because you let me go and die instead of suffer until I will be released from this world."

"Is it that? That you don't want to live anymore?"

Now Henry came to a stand and looked at the other angrily. "No! I want to live! And exactly that is the problem - I can't! I could if it wasn't for that goddamn cancer!" he half screamed.

"What if I promised you I'd stay by your side and that Sungmin wouldn't turn away either."

"You can't! No one can! Because everyone turns away. Do you think I didn't have friends? I had a lot of friends, I was always happy and we always had a lot of fun until I HAD TO TELL THEM THAT I WOULDN'T LAST MUCH LONGER IN THIS GODFORSAKEN WORLD!!!"

"Henry, calm down."

Zhou Mi tried, but it was no use - it was the first time that Henry let it all out and now that he started it, he was unable to stop that anger from coming out. Anger, desperation, pain... Though Henry felt a slight pain in his throat when he screamed, he ignored it. He had to let it out. Now. There was no way he could be stopped right then. Not after keeping it all for himself for three years. "NO! IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT AND YOU WON'T BE AN EXCEPTION! YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! YOU ONLY DECIDED THAT IT WAS OKAY TO STAY BY MY SIDE BECAUSE YOU FELT SORRY FOR ME BUT AS SOON AS YOU NOTICE THAT IT GETS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, YOU WILL TURN AWAY FROM ME JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"

"HENRY, DAMN IT, LISTEN TO ME!" the Chinaman now yelled back.

"NO! THERE'S NOTHING YOU COULD TELL ME THAT I DON'T ALREADY KNOW!"

"Henry Lau!" Mrs Kim's sharp voice interrupted the two fighting men. "It's enough, Henry!" she commanded.

The youngest broke down, his knees giving in. It was all too much. How was he supposed to cope with all of this?! He was alone in a mess that represented his life, his life that would end ing soon! And then there was his birthday. It was almost as if life wanted to let him taste all its irony and sarcasm before he died. People who acted as if they wanted to have something to do with him. His doctor who still hadn't given up on trying to convince him to live instead of let himself be killed. But if they wouldn't help him, he would find another way. He wouldn't continue living if he wasn't able to go to the river without help anymore. What was life if there was no freedom? Everyone had turned away! There were nurses who would listen to him. And Leeteuk. Who cared, they were just 'intersted in him' because it was their job. Then there were his parents. He knew they would tell him he could always come to them and speak with them about what was on his mind. He didn't care, they weren't who he needed. He needed friends, people that were around his age and didn't turn away because of a disease they didn't know anything about and they feared. He was the walking sign of death that showed how insecure life was and how soon one could die. He was the one everyone would avoide because they wouldn't know what else to say except for 'I'm sorry for you having to die so soon' with their faked sympaphy. They all should just leave him alone!

Tears were escaping his eyes at those thoughts and the feeling of being alone. As if there was a black nothingness surroun