Confidant in Him

God, You're Confusing

 

I pulled away from him first, a little awkwardly and my head whirling. 

"Taemin, I--" I tried to speak, but Taemin looked at me and I stopped stammering.

"Before you say anything, let me take you somewhere first," he said, starting the car. I leaned against the back of my seat and tried to sort out my thoughts. Every few minutes, images of Jay and the girl popped up, so I gave up and fell asleep listening to the thundering rain outside.

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When Taemin stopped the car, I couldn't see anything. It looked like he had parked in the middle of nowhere. There was a trail, a very tiny crumbly little path made of more rock than dirt, and I was apprehensive of the forest surrounding it.

"It's safe," he said, and I wondered if I had thought out loud again. "I came here all the time when I was younger." I bet when he was younger, he never came in the darkness of the evening. Still, I did trust him, and so I tentatively followed him on the trail. It wasn't as bad as I thought, except for the random squirrel and the occasional mosquito. Taemin swept away a low branch with his hand and motioned me to avert my gaze to the clearing. It was really beautiful, with a moss covered bench near the shore of a deep blue lake that reflected the night stars. Taemin took my hand and led me over to the rickety bench that squeaked when I sat on it.

"I always told myself that if I ever found a girl I loved, I'd bring her here," Taemin said, staring out into the lake. "I did like a girl once, when I was younger. Back then, I wasn't famous and I had that mushroom cut that everyone made fun of." I tried to imagine him with a mushroom cut, and smiled a bit.

"But, there was this one girl who was really sweet and always encouraged me," he continued, tracing patterns on the dirt with his sneaker. "I thought she was special, and I tried to be friends with her. Occasionally, she'd talk to me first, and that would be the highlight of my day." His voice drifted as he bit his lower lip.

"Then, she got a boyfriend, and she stopped talking to me," he said bitterly. "She made fun of me like everyone else. I thought I was an idiot for liking her so much when she turned against me." He folded his arms behind his neck and slid down the bench a bit. 

"I really like you, Young Rin," he said, staring at me and fidgeting a bit. I sighed, tired from my emotional day.

“I liked a guy like you once,” I said, folding my hands in my lap. “He was loud, obnoxious, and yet, I still liked him. He always made me laugh with his ridiculousness.” I sighed, my heart heavy.

“He turned out to be a jerk though, and asked me out so he could publicly humiliate me. At first, I was so happy to be with him I didn’t care. Then, he asked me to a dance, and I spent a whole day getting ready,” I said, a little unsteadily.

“What happened was he showed up at the dance with another girl from another school,” I whispered, “He looked at me as if to say he was sorry, but then later, he poured punch on me and made me the laughingstock of the school.”

 “I wouldn’t ever do something like that to you! I’ve never even liked punch,” Taemin said, trying to protest.

“You say that you love me now, but you’re an idol,” I said, reaching my fingers out to touch the falling rain. “You’ll meet other girls who are more beautiful, exotic, and talented than me. There’ll always be times where you’ll regret loving me when you could be with someone else.”

Taemin was quiet and then said, “But I don’t want to be with anyone else. You’re the first girl who’s ever made my heart flutter.” I closed my eyes, and felt my tears seep out my eyelids.

“He said that once too,” I said quietly. “He might have meant it at that time, but he ended up hurting me all the same.”

“Well, I’m not like that. I won’t ever make you cry,” Taemin said, putting his face close to mine. I stared at his brown eyes, decorated with heavy lashes. Had I ever considered a romantic relationship with Taemin? I was so scared of being hurt that I had forgotten how to love. And…that kiss…it hadn’t been my first, but it was the first time I had ever felt my heart flutter…

“I want to love you,” I said, “but what if I end up hurting you?”

“I’m willing to take that chance,” he smirked, “But I know you won’t. ‘Cause I’m too y for you to ever want to leave me.”

This time, when I laughed, I looked into his eyes, and I found myself hoping everything he said was true.

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AiNadira #1
Chapter 24: I love your story..please update author-nim..will waiting for you~
ejkimz #2
(subscribe anyways because i'm hopeful/delusional like that) :/
ejkimz #3
awwww really updated in 2012? :(
freydis
#4
Chapter 24: came across your story,it's really good!pls update soon!!!^^
tae_lover #5
Chapter 24: i think she's going to bring jay plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz update soooon
SHINeetheB2ST
#6
Chapter 24: Oh my gosh is she going to bring jay as her date!? ^o^
Update soon author nim
lcherry13 #7
omg nice story please update! ~.~
CandySui #8
Chapter 24: Poke ....poke come back to us author!
CandySui #9
Chapter 24: Ahhh please update soon, I'm not even a shinee fan but i love this!!
shoutsandmurmurs #10
Chapter 24: Haha that little boy was so cute >.< But I'm really excited for the next few chapters!