Soohyun and I walked along the beach in silence for a while. Occasionally, I would glance at him, and sometimes he would catch me sneaking a peek and I would look away.

In the warm glow of the evening sun, his hair was highlighted a light brown, and his features were so beautiful. He kept smiling, and I wasn’t sure why. I frowned.

“Why are you frowning?” Soohyun stopped walking.

“Why are you smiling?”

“What’s wrong with smiling? The sun’s so beautiful, and we’re here together, so why not smile?”

“Oh…” we continued walking in silence. I wasn’t sure if it was an awkward silence or a comfortable silence, but either way I was fine with it.

“Why… did you give me your phone number?” I asked out loud by accident.

“You… just seemed special I guess. I was attracted to you,” Soohyun said, looking at the ground sheepishly.

“Me? Attract an idol like you?”

Soohyun said nothing and just walked on, leaving me behind.

“Shin Soohyun! Answer my question or I’ll never talk to you ever again.” I ran after him, not caring about my breathlessness. I wanted to know.

Why would an idol like him give me his number? What did he mean when he said he was attracted to me?

He spun around suddenly, making me bump into him. He caught me in his arms and held me close to him.

My face grew hot. I pushed against his chest, but then again, how could a sick person win against a strong person like him?

He leaned down and whispered in my ear softly, sending shivers up my spine. “You attracted me… like a magnet. You’re a magnet.”

My eyes widened. Magnet? Yeah, right. A magnet for cancer, a magnet for hurt, a magnet for trouble, a magnet for whatever bad stuff there were. And if I was near Soohyun, he’d probably get into trouble too. Even if he said I was a magnet to him…

“I’m not… a magnet…” I started pushing him away, but he held me tighter. I squirmed in his tight grasp. “Let go! Don’t…”

“No. I refuse to let go of you. Something’s wrong with you. You’re not yourself.”

“How can you tell? You barely even know me!”

“From the last time I met you till now… your eyes look sadder.”

I was speechless. Did they really look sadder? I avoided his gaze. “Sh-shut up and don’t talk rubbish.”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Tell me what happened, I wanna help…”

I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell him? No, he couldn’t know that I had cancer. But then… I wanted to tell him.

“Oppa…” I buried my face in his chest and grabbed onto his shirt. I started sobbing, leaving wet streaks on his shirt. My knees went weak and I felt myself sink down to the ground, pulling Soohyun down with me. He kept his arms wrapped around me. “Oppa… I don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t want to live anymore…”

Soohyun said nothing and just held me there as I cried out all the sadness I had felt in school. I seemed to cry a lot these days. Soohyun sat down properly, put me on his lap and rocked me gently as if I was some baby. I must look horrible to him. But I didn’t care, and cried my heart out.

After I was done crying, I felt something soft dab my face. I realized that Soohyun was drying my tears with a tissue. I hiccupped. “Sorry about that.”

He just smiled kindly. “It’s ok, as long as you feel better now. And… I don’t know what exactly happened to you, but please don’t think of death okay? It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me what happened, just… don’t think like that. It hurts me.”

“Sorry for hurting you…” I got off his lap, embarrassed.

He just helped me stand up, held my hand and continued walking along the beach.

I saw some flat rocks near the shoreline, so I decided to walk there. Not that I disliked walking on the beach but… maybe a change of walking surface would be nice. I let go of Soohyun’s hand and hopped on the rocks like I was 5 years old again.

Suddenly, I lost footing and slipped. I tumbled down towards Soohyun, pushing him down by accident, and lay on top of him with a throbbing ankle.