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April 18.

 

I glanced at the day after it, and forced a smile. Tomorrow's your birthday, Himchan. Smile. It's the day you were brought into this difficult world.

 

It's been a month since I've last spoken to Daehyun and Yongguk. Neither of us tried to start a conversation, so we just left it alone, drifting apart. I ignored the aching in my chest, and turned away from the calendar above my bedpost. Who knew my birthday would be so...lonely tomorrow? My mother had to work overseas for a while (it was a mandatory thing), believing I would have a 'great' birthday with my so-called friends.

 

I didn't have the chance to break the news to her. How could I tell my own mom; 'Daehyun and I fought, Yongguk is ignoring me, and Youngjae...What was his excuse? Ah, right. He only hung out with me in order to get close to Daehyun.' I didn't want her to lose her only job just because her own son is a complete pathetic loser who has no friends what-so-ever. So I kept my mouth shut, promising I would have one heck of a birthday. 

 

I sighed, getting out of bed and took a good look at myself in the mirror. You're a horrible person and you know it. You're dating someone who you're not even sure you love, you broke your friendship with the guy who stuck through with you til the end and you disgusted your only hyung who made you felt like you actually had a family. 

 

I got up, deciding to go out for a jog. I could care less about the fact I'm in my bunny PJs (that Daehyun bought me last year, thinking it was cute) and matching bunny slippers (that Youngjae bought, thinking it was funny). I wasn't in the mood to sulk anymore. I grabbed a coat just in case it gets cold, and walked out of the house. Making sure to lock the door and place my keys safely in my back pocket beside my phone, I marched towards the park. 

 

The wind was blowing swiftly again with the sun shining down on me, causing me to squint my eyes because I wasn't used to the light yet. A sound of little footsteps running towards me caught my attention, and I squatted, reaching eye-level with the little girl. "Hello there." I smiled, patting the girl's head. "Where's your mom?"

 

"She's with daddy." She pointed at a couple, who looked like they were ready to rip each other's throats out. 

 

I frowned. Poor baby. "Honey, do you want to play with Oppa?"

 

She smiled, nodding her little head. I grabbed a hold on to her little hands and walked her towards the playground. "Where do you want to go?"

 

"The slide!" She squealed, tugging at my hand in excitement.

 

I chuckled. "Okay princess. Your wish is my command."

 

-

 

I played with the little girl (Whose name was apparently Hyosung) until dawn, when her parents showed up hand in hand calling after her. I sighed in relief. Good, it wasn't something serious. Hyosung waved goodbye, being pulled away by her mom. 

 

"Thank you for taking care of our daughter." Her father smiled, before following his beloved family.

 

Hyosung then paused, slipping from her mother's touch as she ran up to me and place a kiss upon my cheeks. "Bye!" She ran away, giggling like a mad man.

 

I smiled for the thousandth time that day, watching the little girl get further and further away from me until she was out of my sight.  I sat down on one of the swings, the feeling of being lonely crept in again and I swore it was eating me up inside. I miss Daehyun and Youngjae bugging me all the time, I miss Yongguk acting like a complete fool just so I could laugh at him and I miss the time where I wouldn't have to be by myself. It's funny how I've always wish for this but...now I'm wishing for everything to go back to normal.

 

I looked up at the orange sky, staring in awe as I watched the sunset. I wish they all knew I was actually pretty sensitive inside, and that I don't always mean what I say. i don't want you guys to leave me alone, Youngjae you're only half annoying and Yongguk...My phone vibrated against the seat, and I lazily took it out, unlocking the screen. 

 

'Hey, sorry for not spending the day with you. Dad is making me work my off with chores. I think they hate me D: 

 

P.S - I miss you.'

 

I smiled silently to myself, Jongup could be so sweet sometimes. 

 

'It's okay. I understand. I miss you too.'

 

I sighed, softly swinging myself back and forth, waiting for a reply.

 

'I promise I'll spend the whole day with you tomorrow! It's going to be your birthday, right? I have something really important to give you. Anyways I have to go now. Dad is nagging again. 

 

P.S -- Don't cheat on me......or else I'll place bugs in your tea.

 

:D'

 

I couldn't help but laugh. Who threatens someone and then ends it with a smiley face? Only Jongup would. That idiot.

 

'We'll see about that. See you tomorrow, Jongup. Goodnight.'

 

I stared at my screen for some time, only when the lights went off did I see my reflection. I looked like an idiot smiling at my phone. I placed it back in my pocket, continuing to softly swing myself back and forth.

 

Maybe I won't be lonely tomorrow after all. 

 

I jumped out of my seat, fully energized. It was dark by now and I could hardly see anything. I took a step forward only to bump into someone, and I immediately apologized. Mentally face palming myself for being so blind.

 

The man turned around, looking up from his phone. "Himchan?"

 

Ah, it's him. "Hyung..." I coughed, clearing my throat. I didn't want to sound like I was crying. 

 

I didn't realize how much I've missed this man until I was actually face-to-face with him, breathing in the same air as him. 

 

"What are you doing here, Himchan?" He had a grey hoodie on, with a black NY hat inside and wore a cute framed glasses to compliment his features. He looked absolutely dashing right now. 

 

I can't believe I just used the word 'dashing' as a compliment. "I...I wanted some fresh air."

 

He looked at me from head to toe, then cracked a small smile. "In your PJs?"

 

"Yeah, got a problem with it?"

 

He looked a bit taken aback, probably only noticing the change of my voice. If it wasn't so dark right now, he would see me sweating like a pig with my face reddening each second. 

 

"No." He replied softly, running his fingers through my hair. "Not at all."

 

"Yongguk, are you okay?" I placed my hand on his, hoping he wouldn't find the knots in my hair. (I was too lazy to change. What makes you think I brushed my hair?)

 

"No." He paused for a brief second, before continuing with a small whisper. "I heard you and Jongup are dating now?"

 

Oh, so he knows. "Yeah. Weird, right?"

 

"I didn't think he was your type."

 

"Me either." I whispered quietly to myself, clutching on my phone. A smile was placed upon my face.

 

"Himchan."

 

"Ye-"

 

Before I could finish my sentence, the unbelievable happened.

 

This was something that only happened in my dream, and it was coming true.

 

This time I wasn't turning into a frog.

 

Hyung placed his soft, plump lips on mine. I gasped, a bit surprised when he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. He smelled sweet, he tasted sweet and everything about this was sweet. I could feel the blood rushing to my face, my heart beating dangerously against my ribs and I swore sparks flew the moment our lips touched.

 

But then I realized something ;

 

Jongup. I was dating Jongup.

 

I pushed him away, avoiding eye-contact.

 

"Himchan I-"

 

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." I could hear it from his voice -- he was hurt. I bowed, before running away.

 

I didn't know where I was heading, because i only had one thing in mind.

 

I just needed to run.

 

- - - - - - - - - 

 

I remember when I wanted Himchan to become BAM by the time Yongguk came back. But nah, I kept him the same ._.' 

Will probably update again ^^ (In Celebration of B.A.P's beautiful teaser ;__; Yongguk's abs btw usgdhaf Anybody have tumblr let's fangirl together i want to stalk you.)

Grr, I couldn't describe the kiss the way I wanted! ;_____; Sorry if everything sounds dramatic I was listening to K.Will LOL.