Hyukjae’s POV

I’m liying on my bed, looking at the ceiling. I’ve moved to Sungmin hyung’s room now, because I want to forget all about Donghae, and I know I won’t if i keep sleeping in my old room. It’s already twelve p.m., but I couldn’t sleep. It’s become my habit now. Keeping awake, just giving an empty look to the ceiling, and think a non-sense matters. Meanwhile Sungmin hyung is sleeping in peace before me.

It had been a month since he left. Although all the members were trying so hard to cheered me up back then, but still….memories about him always remind me how much I love him and how much I feel the pain when he gone. It emerge in my mind sometimes, and I hate this…because no matter how hard I tried to avoid crying, I can’t stop it. It’s always beating me up, and bring me to the other darkness. But I’ll keep it myself, I don’t want to disturb the members with my own problem to much, because I realize that they have things to do too..

I’m always trying to act happy in front of them, told them that I’m okay. But they’re still worrying me to much. I know it’s not good, because I’ll feel depend too much to them. Besides, each of them are starting to busy with their own activities now since there are no clarity about our group yet. And I’m afraid, sooner we’ll have distance between us all, and I don’t want to feel the other loneliness again. Sungmin hyung and Siwon is busy with their dramas filming. Yesung hyung, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun is busy with Super Junior KRY project. Shindong hyung is busy to prepare his marriage with his fiancé, meanwhile Eeteuk and Heechul hyung will go to the army soon. We’re rarely gathering each other, and I hate this situation…

Then I decided to go to the livingroom than messing my mind with all that toughts. i open the door and exit the room. I’m walking to the sofa and grab the remote on the table and turn on the tv. “Let’s see…what will we find in the time like this..”, and starting to changing the channel. “Oh, right! Maybe I’ll just watch the midnight celebrity news in that channel…”, I tell myself and press a number on the remote.

I was about to put the remote again when I see that. Suddenly I’m freezing in my position, cannot move or say a word. I thought that I’m just seeing things. I closed my eyes for seconds then opened it again. i’m sure that it’ll disappear, but unfortunately It’s not. It’s really really him. The one that I love so much, and the one that I hate much more, now appears in the news, getting a couples incidentally shots with the camera. He’s not alone, there is a woman besides him, and they’re holding each other waist, walking among crowds of people. I grab the remote again in a hurry, and turn the volume up. The reporter starting to talk.

“Now we’re live from the location, reporting the situation around the red carpet. It’s so crowdy here of course, remembering that most of all the top celebrities in China is gathering together here, to attend this prestigious award. And we can see, one of our country’s top boyband member  is here too. Yes, that’s Lee Donghae, Super Junior’s member who just moved to China and will stay here for a while to starts his solo career. He’s walking with one of this country’s top singer. And looks like they’re so compatible each other. The girl is-“,

--End of Hyukjae’s POV—

Hyukjae turns off the television, don’t want to hear anything the reporter will say again. He’s sitting weakly in the sofa now, can’t think the situation clearly. “He’s just broke up with me a month ago and leave me, and….and he’s dating with a new girl now? a new pretty girl? I can’t believe it…”, and tears start dropping hardly from his eyes.

After couple minutes living in tears, he stands up and takes his jacket in the hanger. He walking to the front door and open it. He then walking outside, leaving their apartment with a disappointment look.

---0---

Hyukjae’s POV

I’m sitting in a low lighted bar now, trying to find out what was that supposed to mean. It hurts a lot when I saw my beloved person like that, especially in the time when I still can’t forget about him yet. “Please give me more sake, I’ll pay it all!”, I yelled to the waiter. It’s quiet silent here, matches with my heart mood right now. I’m suppose not to drink because surely, I don’t really like it. But somehow, I think it’s the only way to stops the pain, by drinking until drunk.

“Why is this all happening to me? What’s my fault to you? Tell me Hae….Aish…you keep hurting and hurting me again, even when you’re already far far away, you keep stabbing my heart into pieces….”, I’m pooring myself, bewailing my mischance and dropping tears in silent.

“I can’t handle it anymore, I’m going crazy if keeping like this, what am I suppose to do now….”, I take the bottle in front of me and drink it all with one gulp. I’m throwing the empty bottle, and resting my head on the table. I muse for a while with my eyes closed. I just keep relaxing my head, hoping that I’ll fall asleep. But suddenly, something coming in my head, just like an electric sting. “I know it!”.

And that’s my last words before leaving the bar after paid the bill. I’m walking in lurch, still can’t handle my drunk body. “let me help you Sir…I’ll get you a taxi..”, the waiter grabs my hand and trying to help me.

“No no, you don’t have to, I’m okay….really…just let me go…”, I discharge my hand from his arms. Then he’s just staying there, knowing that I won’t let him to help me. I’m exiting the bar, and how lucky I am, because a taxi already waiting for me. I move closer to it, and open the back door. I enter it, and closed the door again. I feel like I can’t handle myself anymore, and just dropping myself to the chair.

“Ugh….to…the…airport…please…”, I tell the driver with a stiffly voice.

---0---

I’m on my way to Incheon airport now. I didn’t know what possess me, but it was just passing that time. I won’t get any fresh air if I’m here, so I decided to go for a while. A vacation. Yes, I’ll go on a vacation, and forget about this thing here for a while. And Paris is a good place, since I always want to go there…

‘I don’t need clothes, I can buy it there’, I told myself, and besides, all my stuffs already packed before in my magic bag. I’m pretty smart to always putting it all there, just for prepare any situation for some accidentally trip, just like this one. So, I can be relax even if I’m drunk like this.

‘Wallet, money, gadgets, note, passport, and of course…a…a ticket?!’, suddenly I wake up from my drunken dream and sitting in a straight position. Oh Lee Hyukjae! How smart you are, for not preparing a ticket and just riding there in a midnight like this?! who will serve you there? The night voice? Oh man….that’s silly. But I can’t go back now, then i’m encouraging myself.

‘I’ll wait there until morning…’, and fall asleep again while the driver takes me there and look at me in a strange looks to my act just now.

---0---

“Excuse me Sir, please wake up…it’s morning already. are you waiting for the plane, or just want to sleep here?”, a voice talks to me, waking me up from my sleep. I stand up, with my hands on my head, still feeling dizzy. I open my eyes, and look at him. From his uniform, I’m sure he’s one of the airport’s guard.

Then I answer him with half awake,”Umm…Is it…open now? I want to…buy a ticket.”

“Yes, it’s open. You can buy it in the ticket service. May I help you with it Sir? You look not so well…”, he answers.

“Oh, yes please, I’m still dizzy, and I think I have to get a little help….”, I choose to accept the suggestion, don’t want to troubling myself. It just because I want to go there as soon as possible, and feel the fresh air.

Okay Paris….here I come….

--End of Hyukjae’s POV—

Sungmin wakes up from his bed, and knowing that Hyukjae isn’t there. ‘Maybe he’s woke up already…’,he tells himself. Then he stand up, and go to the livingroom.

All the members are gathering there, ready for the breakfast. Ryeowook and Siwon are take the responsibility for it in the kitchen this time. “Good morning Minnie, you’re almost late for breakfast, come sits here, it’s still empty…”, Eeteuk greeting to his dongsaeng.

“Thanks hyung…”, Sungmin answer with a dizzy look.

“Ya! Minnie, where is Hyukkie? Aren’t you waking him up? He’ll lost his breakfast if he keeps stuck in his sleeping beauty dream…”, Heechul asks to Sungmin.

“What? But….he’s not in his room, his bed is empty, where is he if that so? Is he have a morning sport?”, Sungmin answer his question.

“But it’s impossible if he’s going out, because I’m already awake since the dawn and no one go through the front door at all…”, Ryeowook who’s still busy to cook joining the talks.

“Then where is he? Is he….do something stupid again?”, Kyuhyun asked in a stutters voice, starting to panic.

Then they all starting to give the same ‘panic look’. “Let’s go find him”, Eeteuk suddenly giving a reaction. He was about to going to the front door when his cellphone is ringing. He grabs it in hurry, and hoping that it’s Hyukjae, telling that he’s okay. And it’s right, “it’s a text message…from Hyukjae…”, he tells the members.

‘Hyung, I’m okay, you guys don’t have to worry. I’m sorry for not telling you guys about my plan, but it comes in sudden. I’m already on my way to Paris now, and I’ll enjoy a view times there, trying to take a vacation, so you guys don’t have to looking for me. I love all of you guys…Please tell my greeting to the members…-Monkey Hyukkie-‘.

That was what the message said. All the members is just sitting in silent, staring each other, don’t know what to say. They just hope that nothing bad will happen to their beloved brother, Hyukjae.

---0---

Hyukjae’s POV

It’s already two weeks since I arrived here, in Paris…it’s not like what I think before. I think I can be an ordinary guy who wants to get a vacation here, but it’s not fully true. Some people recognize me as Eunhyuk, the dance machine of Super Junior.

I’m afraid that they won’t leave me alone but thanks God, they didn’t. They all being so nice and friendly to me, and even help me to get a hotel for my stay. I’m enjoying myself here, and I’m starting to get this stupid idea, the idea for staying here and won’t go home. But then I was thinking about my bandmate too, and I’ll be the most selfish person in the world if I forget about them for what they’ve done to me before…their kindness and their love…always encouraged me.

I’m in Eiffel Tower now, trying to take some pictures. It’s really a good morning here, and I have a good mood too, like I’ve always did when I’m here. I was about to get some help to the people around me to  take a picture of me, when suddenly my cellphone is ringing. It’s a picture message.

“Unknown number? Who is this suppose to be? Is this from the members?”, I’m asking myself, then open the picture message to stops my curious thoughts. My eyes suddenly gogle and I’m just freezing after seeing the picture message. My hands is shaking and become so weak, make me dropping my phone on the ground. I get my hand in a fist. My head is just spinning around, don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m going to explode. Why is this have to happening? Again?