Rain keeps drop as if it can feels his pain too…And he’s there, standing in a hard rain, still hoping that this is just a bad dream, but unfortunately, he knows it, that this nightmare is as real as the rain drops…

“Donghae…what are you talking about? Are you going to leave me?”, tears falled down from Hyukjae’s eyes as he is holding on Donghae’s hand tight, asking for some explanation. “But you promised to me, that you’ll always beside me, no matter what could be happen, that you’ll be my spirit when I’m down, that you’ll be my light when dark comes, that you’ll be my blanket when I’m cold, that you’ll be –“,

“HYUKJAE!!”, Donghae screamed, suddenly cut off Hyukjae’s unfinished words.

He pulls his hands from Hyukjae’s grasp, and beginning to talks.

“Please stop all of that non-sense statements Hyukkie..I’m tired with all of this. You know we’re both have to move on, and there is no way this could be succeed anymore…”, he stops a moment, looks at Hyukjae’s expression which seems still confused with his statement just now. He’s trying to take a deep breath and then starting to say that simple words, but explained everything for both him and Hyukjae, “I mean OUR relationship.”

After said those words, Donghae walked away from Hyukjae without even turned around to him, and left Hyukjae in the rain, weep for his self….ALONE….

That’s it.

Hyukjae knows that he couldn’t save his relationship with Donghae anymore. A relationship which they had for years, but now ended up so easily. That’s what makes him more sad than before. ‘How could Donghae do this to me? What’s my fault to him? He promised that he’ll never ever leave me…but how could he? Just because he’d been told that he’ll become more shine if he choose this way…but how could he sacrifice our relationship that easy???’, he keep asking those questions without received any answer.

Hyukjae is just standing there, watching Donghae’s back slowly disappeare. He then suddenly kneels down, cannot handle his own body any longer, he feels his body have no strength anymore, he looks to the ground, and tears drop more harder than before mixed with the rain. ‘Dong…hae…I will always remember this day…this dusky valentine’s day u gave to me…..’, and suddenly everything becomes dark.

---0---

“Hyukkie….please wake up…please…”, Sungmin just sit there, in Hyukjae’s room, all of his face is full of tears now. “Minnie, let’s leave him alone for now, I think he’ll need a time alone when he wakes up..I’m sure he’s going to be okay, and if he don’t, we’re all here to cheering him, right?”, Eeteuk trying to calm Sungmin, and slowly pull him out from Hyukjae’s room, leaving Hyukjae all alone by himself now.

Hyukjae hears a door closed, but he’s still can’t open his eyes. Or maybe…he don’t want to open it and then realize that the thing that happened last night was a reality. Because if it so, then it mean he had lost his Donghae…

But he has to face it sooner or later. He’s trying to open his eyes and move his body, but all he can feel is just the pain. He’s still can handle the pain outside, he said himself. But inside….it’s hurt a lot until his rib, and he knows there are no medicine for this kind of pain…the pain which can take all happiness from him, until endless sadness was the only thing left. Suddenly, tears drop from his eyes, and he couldn’t stop it. ‘Just let it out, and everything is gonna be okay..’, he tells himself.

He’s trying to remember last night. Donghae just kept walked and ignored him, he was trying so hard to hold him, but he felt Donghae was getting far and far. He forced himself to go after his lover even he felt so tired and pain all around his body…he kept walking, but finally his body couldn’t take it any longer, and he fell to the ground. His views became blurry and blurry, and all he could remember was he dropped into the darkness. A really deep darkness.

“Argghhh!!! Why?! Why it has to happen?! Why me?! What’s my fault?!”, he’s start screaming without any permission from his mind. He’s throwing all things that he can reach. He keeps screaming compare with crying.

The door suddenly open, showing all the worries look to Hyukjae. All of the members are just standing there, they feel sad about him, without any words. And then Heechul come closer to him, and sits beside him, trying to calm him down. “Sshhh…Hyukkie…calm down okay? You’re still ill and don’t have enough strength yet..”, then he looks at Hyukjae’s face. Hyukjae keeps crying louder, his face is turned to red now and his breath is pant…Heechul embrace him, he can feel Hyukjae’s pain, and he feels those pain too.

“It-It’s hurt a lot hyung…a-lot…I can’t handle it anymore…b-but I can’t stop this te-tears too hyung…ughh…wh-what should I do hyu-hyung…ple-please tell me…I want to cure this p-pain…it hurts…help…me…please…”, Hyukjae keeps to weep for his pain, with a hesitating voice. Heechul can’t handle it anymore. Usually he didn’t like this kind of thing, but somehow, he can feels his dongsaeng pain too, laying weakly in his bed, with sadness all around him. And,  starting to drop tears.

The rest of the members are just standing there, knowing that it’s better not to say anything this time. They all crying in silent, accompany Hyukjae, hoping that it will decrease Hyukjae’s pain. But they know it isn’t that easy to erase…The best thing to do now is let him crying out loud, throwing all of his pain away….

---0---

Hyukjae’s POV

They all gathering in the livingroom now, glaring each other in silent.

“Okay, let’s talk now, it’s getting awkward here you know…and I can’t stand it any longer…the atmosphere is so hot, with all the fat in my body, I don’t think I can survive this silentness..”, Shindong hyung suddenly talked, breaking the icy atmosphere.

I think he’s trying to get funny, but, surely hyung, is this look like the right time for doing that? “Mmm, okay…so…what are we going to talk then? Let me see…I swear I had something important to said just now, but I forget about it…what’s that all about…wait, let me think..”, and he’s just blabbing alone by himself, meanwhile others are still looking worried about me. I’m feeling guilty now, for making them so worry, and acted like a crazy person before. I have my self calm down now, thanks to my Heechul hyung whose embrace me along my hard time just now…and of course all the members whose cried with me…

’Maybe I was about to kill my self and having myself in death body right now if I don’t have them all beside me…

Then I start the conversation. “Guys,…mian..mianhae…I’m sorry for making you all worry about me..i feel so stupid, this must be bothering all of you having a friend like me, who just keep crying and crying all the time, and giv-“, my words cutted off when Yesung hyung suddenly covered my lips with his hand.

“Oi, stupid monkey, what are you talking about? We’re brothers right? And that’s what brothers for. Cheering you up when you sad, encouraged you when you scared, protect you when you’re in danger…and things like that..so, stop babbling and just be strong for us!”, he ended his oration, which is truly not him.

I was about to thank to him for his inspired words when suddenly the evil maknae Cho Kyuhyun shout, “Ya! Hyung, just go feed your lovely turtle, you look ridiculous with all of those words you said just now, even as ridiculous as your Ddangkkoma itself…and I think that’s why you’re so compatible with it, maybe you two cold get married in the next incarnation…you’ll be happy then right? Getting your Ddangkkoma in other form…kkkk..”, he even smirk after saying that.

“Hahahaha, you’re so…evil…you know that?!”, Shindong hyung enhance and the members laugh even harder…

I smiled look at their behave. ‘Right Hyukjae...everything is gonna be okay, you’re having all those people around you to take care of you and loving you. You don’t have to be sad anymore. Just forget about that. And you’ll feel better. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY.’, I’m trying to cheer up my self.

But….do I?