Donghae’s POV

Everyone is exciting about this day. We had a phone call from Heechul hyung last night, said that he and Eeteuk hyung will back from the army tomorrow. And that’s mean today.

We’re all gathering in our apartment now, including Shindong hyung who’s sleeping in his own apartment with his wife now on. Of course there’s still one person missing, the lovely monkey Hyukkie…who said that he’ll sleep at Junsu’s house last night.

Yes, last night….

I just could sat there, without any answered out from my mouth. I knew all his words were right. I was the one who left him back there. But I didn’t mean to. I knew I will never hurt him if I have a choice. i don’t want to lose him, and I know he’s still have a feeling for me. The same feeling that I have for him. And always will…

I know that maybe I’m the most selfish person in the world, but I won’t give up to it. I don’t want to make the same mistake, and I’ll bring him back. My cute little Hyukkie…

Ding..dong…

The bell ring, make us all stand up in sudden.

“I’ll open the door!”, Yesung hyung excited. And as the door open, Eeteuk and Heechul hyung appear, make us all giving a tight hugs to them.

We miss them so much…and finally, after a long time passed, we’re finally gathering again. It’s a very precious moment. We’re all crying, laughing, and joking at the same time. There’s a lot of things to talk about, and we’re just too happy until speechless to say it.

“Where is Hyukkie?”, Eeteuk hyung asks, suddenly, the pain I forgot for couple moments ago are coming again. They’re all just giving a questioning look at me, in silent. Suddenly, the atmosphere turns, from ‘laughing out loud’ to ‘a long silentness’.

“Donghae…aren’t you going to tell something to us?”, Heechul hyung suddenly asks, with a curious looks, knowing that I’ve hide something from them.

Maybe I have to tell them. They’ll help me handle this situation clearly for sure…

Then I take a deep breath, preparing my courage before I could say all the problems I have with Hyukjae.

Hyukjae’s POV

I’m inside the taxi now, in my way to Super Junior’s apartment.

Sungmin hyung called me and said that the two hyung are coming from the army today, and I won’t overcoming the moment to greeting them.

I’m looking at the road from the window, trying to remember what Junsu said last night.

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“You two are so ridiculous you know…”, he spoke followed with chuckled then. “From what you’ve told me, it looks like you two are still loving each other…”, he added.

“But you knew it too, he’s the one who left me behind, how can I forgive him that easily?”, I try to defend myself.

“But he’ve said sorry to you. No ones perfect, they could make mistakes sometimes, and somehow…love is to forgive and candid, not just to let go…you two had faced many hard times already, and survived it. It’s just one of those thing…it’s just…maybe, harder than before. But it doesn’t matter, as long as you can keep holding on, and find the right solution. You’ll feel it at the right times for sure….and that’s what…true loves means…”, he ended his words beautifully. I mesmerized with his words for a second, but than back to the reality.

“There’s no such thing call ‘true love’, and you’ll so naïve if you think it’s exist. Just look at the reality, earthly lust is always win.”, I try to argue.

I surprised with Junsu’s reaction. He laughed, and then gave a sharp look at he. “Hyukkie, I know who you are, we’ve known for years…maybe outside you’re only Lee Eunhyuk now, but inside here…you’re still Lee Hyukjae that I know very well…”, he pointed right at my heart and just gave a smile. A very meaning smile…

---

Maybe I’ll know what to do when I meet him…

I talk to myself.

---0---

I’m sitting at the couch beside Donghae, and rest of the members are giving a curious look right in front of us. I’m still confuse with this situation.

Surely…what is this suppose to mean? I was just arriving at the apartment about 15 minutes ago, but looks like Heechul hyung already waited for me to came then grabbed my hand and pulled me to sat beside Donghae, without even gave me a longing hug first.

“Now, we’re leaving you two alone here, and you have to talk about it. You’re an adult now, and we think you two can solve this problem…with your own…okay?! And we’ll wait outside…Just prepare if it starts to out of the line…”

There he is, Eeteuk hyung spoke a meaning words, then went outside with the others, leaving us alone in the livingroom now.

“Umm…o-okay…I think…we-we have to talk about…LAST NIGHT, right?”, suddenly Donghae broke the silent, and turns around to look at me. “I know I’ve been acted like a jerk back then, and I realize that I owe you a big apology, and I know it’s hard for you to forgive me, and that’s why I-“, he speaks without any interval, but I cutted his words.

“Enough Donghae…I know what are you going to say, but you better not too…”, I answer him with a big tone, close to yelled. “We’d reached our ending a year ago, and the thing left for us now is just…co-workers…and no other than that. So, don’t waste your time talk about this, let’s just end this now and start a new chapter…as partners.”

I’ve said it.

I can’t believe I’ve just said it.

I bow my head to the ground. My hands are fist, my mouth is tremble, and I feel all the preasures inside my body. My eyes become red and full of tears. It’s hard for me to say it, but I have to. I don’t want to hurt again for the second times. The first time was hurt already…And to be honest….i’m scared of it…

“Aren’t you….believe….me…Hyukkie?”, I heard a stuttered voice comes from Donghae. Then I  look at him, and our eyes are meeting now. I shock in the moment, and just staring at him. He gives a braze look at me, and tears keep dropping from his beautiful eyes….hardly…

Suddenly, I feel like a huge rock have fall on me. Is he….crying for me? Is he hurt too? Or maybe…it’s just an acting? All the questions mix in my head.

“I miss you so badly….even when I was far from you, your face always appear in my head…whenever I go, wherever I go…only you can make me like this…smiling and hurts in the same time…”

“I smile when I remembered you, and hurt when I realize that you aren’t with me anymore.”, he stops and wipe his tears, then starts to speak again. “I know I’ve told you that we better broke up, and I had a reason for that…I wish I could tell you why, but I couldn’t…”

“I think I’ll survive without you, but the fact is…I feel so empty…inside here…”, he put his right hand on his chest. “I just want you to believe me, just for this one, that I won’t hurt you again Hyukkie….”, he ended his words, and grabbing my hands now, with tears still dropping from his eyes.

I don’t know what to do, I can’t move my body. This is all too sudden, make me more confuse than before. I can’t hold it anymore. I have to go, or else I’ll burst my tears soon.

“Just…give me times….”, I said. “Give me times…to think about it. I’ll tell you when I’m ready…but for now, let’s going to our own way first…”.

After that, I’m walking away from him, leaving him alone, without looking at him, and open the front door. And surprisingly, all the members are in there, maybe hearing the whole conversation. But I don’t care anymore if the really do, all I want to do is just disappear a while now.

Then I’m leaving our apartment with crying, cannot handle my tears anymore.

--End of Hyukjae’s POV--