/Next Day/

Woohyun POV

I woke up with a massive headache and droopy eyes and struggled to keep awake as I walked towards the meeting point with Sunggyu and Hoya.

Luckily, today was the last day of work for a week.

Seeing that I’m a 3^rd year high school student, my manager was kind enough to change my work times this year so that I would work for one week and rest a week and so on without docking my pay.

Like this, I would at least be able to get a week to replenish sleep etc…

“You look horrible.” Sunggyu immediately said as soon as he saw my face.

“Great thing to say to a someone as soon as you see them, Gyu.” Hoya said and chuckled.

I find it amusing but cute that they give each other nicknames…even Sungyeol and I don’t do that.

I decided to change the subject away from my face and asked, “Is it natural that for you two to give each other nicknames?”

Hoya started laughing and Sunggyu said, “Isn’t it cute?”

“I told Sunggyu and begged him to erase the idea about nicknames but he just had to do it…you see, even a Woohyun thinks it’s weird.” Hoya said.

“No, I didn’t mean it was weird…I-“I tried to explain myself but Sunggyu said, “Aww.. Hobaby, I know you like it. This way, everyone will know you’re my best friend!”

I giggled; these two were starting to become my daily entertainment.

/A few days later/

Woohyun POV

I guess today was just my unlucky day…

I was happily skipping home since it was the start of the week where I had no work and was about to open the back door when my mum stopped me and pulled me to the living room.

I was afraid, practically shaking since the last time something like this happened, it was quite some time ago and each time, I didn’t know what to expect.

“What do you have to say about these marks?” My mum said and threw a bunch of papers in my face.

I picked them up slowly and realized they were some tests that we took in class as practice.

How did she find them?

“You searched through my things?” I said.

“What right do you have to use that tone with me and question my actions? This is my house; I can do what I like!” She said and I felt a blow across my face as soon as the last word was said.

“And for the record, these papers were just lying under some of your books on your desk…did you purposely hide them to not let me find them?” She said.

“No…I…they weren’t that important tests so I-“But she didn’t let me continue and said, “Every single test is important! Didn’t you give us your word that you’ll have 90% and above for all tests and we would pay for your school fees?”

I nodded and looked at the tests in my hand.

They were all around the 80% range and I bow my head, not able to say anything.

“Even though we don’t regard you as a son anymore, the public stills believe you are our son and as long as you live in this house under the Nam surname, there shall not be any sloppiness tolerated. I know that first term reports are coming out soon…If it’s not perfect As, you know what’s going to happen.” She said in a devilish tone.

I knew exactly what would happen alright…they would cut off half the money they pay for my school fees and if it continues, they wouldn’t pay at all.

“I’m sorry; I promise this won’t happen again.” I said.

Before I could react, I felt a huge pain in my abdomen area as she gave me a hard kick in the stomach.

“Of course it won’t happen again…because you will know the amount of punishment you’ll get.” She said with a smirk and commanded me to get out of her sight in that instant.

“Filthy worthless piece of crap…” I hear her mutter as she trotted up the stairs.

I picked up the pieces of paper and hobbled to my room as I clenched my teeth together because of the pain from my cheek as well as from my stomach.

I put the papers on the floor as I collapsed onto the ground due to the loss of strength in my legs and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

“Yes…you are just a worthless piece of crap…” I said as the tears started to fall.

I took of the school sweater to reveal my arms which were scarred by the numerous cuts I made to it.

I pulled open the bottom drawer of the dressing table to reveal a box and I slowly opened it.

Inside, laid a razor with a few new blades next to it.

I gently picked it up and ran it across my skin.

Once…twice.

It was an all too familiar feeling to me and as the blood flowed out slowly from the wounds, I know longer felt the pain I had when I started cutting myself.

You probably think how pathetic I am and why would I harm myself more, but cutting myself actually relaxes me.

It takes away all the other pain in that moment and who else could I blame for being this way? Only myself…

I read those columns in teen magazines where people who cut themselves send notes in and ask for help or advice or just want to share their troubles in and I read the replies and comments back.

It’s always the same thing.

“Tell a friend or family member and share your troubles with them.”

“Don’t harm yourself; it’s not a way to forget about your troubles.”

“Seek help, talk to someone whom you trust or respect.”

“If your loved ones knew about this, they would be devastated…”

But none of this I can actually relate to.

How would anyone understand what I’m going through, and who can I talk to?

My family who is doing this to me, my teachers who would probably be shocked and refer me to a counselor, my peers who would all stray away from me because I’m weird?

And if cutting isn’t a way to forget about my troubles, then what is?

And finally, what if you don’t have any loved ones?

What if no one would really care if you existed in this world or not?

It’s true; my parents would probably laugh in my face and say I’m pathetic if they knew I was cutting myself…

I cleaned the now stained razor quickly and proceeded to put a bandage around the cuts.

Luckily the school required everyone to wear the school sweater…this way it was easier to hide the cuts.

I’m just so tired…tired of everything…

Before I knew it, I had fallen into deep sleep.

sigh i know i at updating.

well i have a reason for it!

from 27-28/07 i was busy with infinite holding their first fanmeeting here!!!

and i got to talk to woohyun and get his signature T_______________T (kill me)

which is why i have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms and god knows what.

okay. i'll be going back to singapore in 2 days and idk if i can update but i'll try!! :)

/2 oneshots in the works////