This was even more important than White's day. This was completely and utterly something I had to plan and make the best so that Sandeul could see how much I really care for him. Now that White's day had passed for sure and it was March 15^th I got the heads up as a reminder that someone's birthday was literally only five days away! How could I forget about Sandeul's birthday?! I had to make that day perfect!

"What should I do?" I asked Ashton who was currently on my lap as I had a mental crisis in my head. My parents were both at work and it was after school so I was completely alone in the house. Normally I'd be hanging around B1A4 after school but since both my parents had the same shift—which is rare—I had to stay home to watch the baby. Just looking at Ashton made me smile though from the memory of last night.

Sandeul wanted to marry me. He wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives no matter what. A soon to be idol wanted to be with little old not important me? It was almost too good to be true. Ashton just smiled up at me and touched my face with his small hand and wiggled in my lap signaling that he wanted on the ground so that he could crawl around.

Now I had to think of the perfect way to spend his birthday with him so that he knows how much I love him. I couldn't just show it through a smile and a hug or even just a kiss, I wanted to show him through all of the effort I want to put into this present. I want to be with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him so what could I give him as a present to show how much I truly care for him?

I looked at Ashton once more and gulped loudly. He didn't seem to even notice the nervous look appearing on my face as he got set down and started crawling around the living room.

There was one thing I could give him that would mean a lot to me. There was one thing I could give him as a girl that I could only give once.

But did I want to take that extra step already? I wasn't going to see him for at least two years and at most four years. Did I really want to push our relationship to the final level before he had to leave for South Korea?

"Oh man this is a difficult choice." I spoke out loud and looked at Ashton. "I'm sure it'd be for the best, right?" Ashton then looked at me and smiled some more. I didn't know if I should take his smile as a 'go ahead and do it' or him just smiling at me for paying attention to him.

Most likely the second choice. "I love Jung Hwan, I love Sandeul." I knew I was being serious, I knew I wasn't just saying; I knew I really loved this boy.

Well at least I have a few days to really think about my options.

"May!" Gongchan smiled as I entered the classroom the next day and he immediately ran up to me before Sandeul could even have the chance. "I missed you so much yesterday, hanging around those boys are boring without you." He smiled even more, linked arms with me and walked back to his desk which of course was right next to mine.

"Hey whoa that was uncalled for." Jinyoung sighed out and Baro pouted. Gongchan just smiled wearily at his bandmates and turned his attention back to me.

"So how was babysitting Ash?"

"Huh? Oh it was fine; he is such a sweetheart when it comes to looking after him. Maybe next time we can just hang out at my house so that we can all still be together." I tried to put on a good smile but the thoughts from yesterday just came back to my head the second I thought of Ashton and looked over at Sandeul.

"You look distracted, you okay?" Baro asked joining in on the conversation as well. Sandeul seemed lost in thought at his desk and didn't even greet me; I hoped there was nothing going on with him. Not with his birthday coming up so quickly.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine, I just couldn't sleep last night." I immediately lied and scratched the back of my head. Luckily the teacher chose this time to come into the classroom and start class so I was saved from having to speak to them anymore besides Gongchan who still looked worried for me during the whole duration of class. I could not keep secrets from him no matter how much I tried.

I noticed a note by my hand by the midway point of class and knew it was from him.

We're going to have a talk after school so don't make plans.

I sighed but still nodded towards Gongchan and went back to paying attention to the lesson being taught today. As the semester continues to go on I feel like I haven't been paying enough attention in class and I don't feel like doing my work when I'm home. At this point we should be applying for colleges and doing stuff with our lives but my mind is so full of Sandeul it's hard to concentrate. From the beginning of this month I've been taking lessons from Gongchan, Sandeul and Jinyoung on the basics of the Korean language as well as other cultural aspects that I might need to know when I go there after college. I planned on attending a college that taught Korean as well and I knew I was going to minor in it as well as major in Secondary Education with an emphasis in Language Arts and English.

This was all for setting up my future in South Korea when I go there to be a teacher, but I still didn't want to do all of the work that I had to do. I just wanted to go there right after high school and be with Sandeul no matter what. But I knew I had to get a degree, I knew I had to make a career for myself so that I can show Sandeul all of the efforts I was doing for him.

School seemed to pass by like it was nothing, Sandeul didn't talk much to me but stayed close and ended up sleeping like usual in History and Alice didn't talk much in Math since we have a test coming up within the week. Once it ended I waited around the front of the building until Gongchan finally came out and smiled towards me.

"Let's go out and get something to eat." He didn't say anything else and just started walking towards the street expecting me to follow him. It was a nice change to just spend the day with Gongchan and maybe I could actually use this chance to tell him what I was considering with Sandeul—it was only right to tell my best friend right?

We ended up at a cheap fast food restaurant in the end and just sat down at one of the tables as we waited for our orders to come in. I wasn't feeling all too hungry so I just got some fries and he got some chicken stripes. After the order was ready we both sat in silence as we both ate without having to say anything. He knew there was a lot on my mind I could just tell from the looks he was giving me.

"So tell me what's up." Gongchan finally said once his chicken stripes were eaten and he looked directly at me. He knew I couldn't lie to him, he knew I could only tell him what was on my mind. We had that sort of friendship between us. Even though he has known the others for so much longer he chose me as one of his best friends that he valued just as much as the others. He always made me feel special.

"I was just thinking of ideas for Sandeul's birthday coming up." I didn't know how to exactly tell him I was planning on offering all of myself to Sandeul for his birthday—I didn't know how to tell Gongchan that I was going to give up my ity to one of his best friends.

"And?"

I fidgeted in my seat for what felt like forever. "I was thinking of giving him something special to me." I whispered keeping in mind that we were in a public spot where kids definitely were.

"Something special, like what?" He pressed the question further and leaned into the table in order to hear me better.

"Something I could only give once." I muttered looking away from Gongchan just in time for him to slam his fist into the table. I looked back at a very stressed looking face with worry laced in his eyes.

"Are you sure about that?" He whispered his eyes almost tearing up from this information. I wanted to go over and hug him but I knew he was tearing up because of me.

I wanted to nod but the look on his face just screamed for me to be quiet and not answer him. He stood up after that and gestured for us to leave the building before they kicked him out for being destructive.

Once out of the public streets and closer to just the neighborhoods Gongchan turned to me with a very serious look in his eyes. He wasn't kidding around with this sort of subject and he was not going to show that he ever will be.

"Are you really sure?" He asked once more and stopped in his tracks.

"I'm really considering it." I responded with the truth since nothing was set in stone yet.

"Think about it before you do something that big, okay?" He pleaded and pressed his hands together. He left soon after that allowing me time to really think about this whole ordeal. I knew whatever I chose he wouldn't stop being my friend but I knew that this wasn't just some light topic either.

I wanted to show Sandeul that I truly loved him; I wanted to show him that he was my everything and he could have any part of me. But was it a bit too early in our relationship to be showing that?

I pondered about the whole idea for the rest of the night and didn't talk to anyone that night. It was getting really close to his birthday now so it was almost a now or never option. I had until the end of the school year to decide if this was really a good idea before I would have to wait for most likely years for the chance to come again.

Regardless of if I do it or not I still had to give Sandeul the best birthday present out there.

The next day Jinyoung and I decided to go shopping after school after he asked me after class to join him. He wanted to find a good present for Sandeul and thought I should come along to see if I found anything I'd want to give him as well. I didn't tell anyone else about my plans for Sandeul's birthday so basically only Gongchan and I knew about it. Jinyoung browsed through the weirdest of things from clothes to random accessories that Sandeul would most likely not find an interest in.

Come to think of it what would Sandeul find an interest in? He liked music, he liked video games and he was an average boy, but that was all I knew about his common interests. I didn't know his clothing types or anything else about his personality besides what I grew up with—and there was no telling what was real or not about the real Sandeul opposed to the imaginary Sandeul.

“You think he’d like this?” Jinyoung held up another piece of clothing and I just shook my head trying to really think of an important present to give to the boy I loved.

“Hmm.” Jinyoung hummed and put the piece away then turned around to leave the store. There was only so much in this mall that we could look through before we looked through it all.

At last we finally reached a very small music shop that looked promising in giving us at least something useful. Jinyoung was busy looking at the keyboards and music sheets for himself while I looked around at the other instruments in hopes of finding the perfect present for my boyfriend.

After looking around for twenty minutes I finally gave up with a shrug and bid Jinyoung farewell since it was getting late. He made a comment that he was just going to stop by the nearest video games store and find something interesting to give him instead.

It didn’t take long for the weekend to show up and give me extra time for me to finish my project for Sandeul’s birthday. I already told him that I wanted to spend at least some of his birthday alone with him and he was completely fine with that since his whole birthday party idea was on Saturday night. He invited me over to his house along with the rest of the band and we had an amazing birthday party for him, but I had to leave before the night ended because I was a girl. And girls weren’t allowed to stay the night at boys’ houses, especially since he was my boyfriend and all.

“We’re going to be working the same shift as Tuesday tomorrow so I don’t want you leaving the house tomorrow.” My father said the second I got back to my house Saturday night. I was in a rush and needed to finish my project for tomorrow but I stopped completely when he said that.

“What? But tomorrow is Sandeul’s birthday!” I whined and frowned. I knew I was not going to win this battle since I knew Ashton was important and we didn’t have the means of getting a babysitter when I could just stay home.

“I know, but work is work and you have to be responsible. He can come over for a little bit, but he can’t stay long.” My mom entered the conversation holding a sleeping Ashton in her arms. She rocked him a few times and smiled at him. “I don’t want to have to find a babysitter last minute; they always pay extra or are really bad to the kids.”

I sighed and crossed my arms. “Fine.” As long as I was allowed to have Sandeul for a little bit it should be fine. “I’ll go tell him.” I left to my room after that to make sure he knew about the new information and hoped he was allowed to come over even just for a little bit. I was delighted to know that he could and would come over around two tomorrow. He was allowed to stay until dinner since he had plans with his family as well. I was completely fine with that because at least I was allowed to be around him for his birthday.

It took a while after that to finish the project I had been working on for him but in the end I got it done and went straight to bed already getting excited for the next day.

Sandeul made sure to be on time the next day and even showed up a bit early so that he could spend that much more time with me. At the time Ashton was fast asleep for his afternoon nap which gave me some alone time with Sandeul before I would have to take care of the baby.

“Happy birthday!” I smiled and hugged him the second he came through the door. I smiled even more when he hugged me back around the waist and whispered, ‘thank you’ and pulled away to kiss my forehead.

I blushed but still leaned forward and gave him a peck on his lips. “I got something for you, come to my room.” I turned and walked up the stairs with Sandeul following close after me. I reached my closed door and turned to face him once more. “I hope you like it.”

“I’ll love anything you get me.” He smiled once more and kissed my cheek. That gave me enough motivation to turn and open my door and step aside for him to walk inside. It was a good thing that my parents practically gave me the house to myself because my whole project had a lot to do with my room.

I decorated the entire room with colors of yellow and blue from things hanging from the ceiling to covering my bed. I actually slept on the floor last night so that it wouldn’t be ruined by me sleeping on it. Also on my bed was a large album also in the colors of yellow and blue. Sandeul walked over to it in amazement and lifted up the album. We really didn’t know each other for that long to be honest, but there were memories I wanted to share with him. He glanced through the book and noticed pictures from our trip to LA and also pictures from the various times Jinyoung’s parents would come in and take pictures of the six of us.

“May…” He trailed off and stopped looking in the book to look at me. “This is perfect.” I had worked on the entirety of that album from the second I got home from shopping with Jinyoung all the way to last night. I had so many memories I wanted to share with him, even the ones I had with the imaginary self that I had of him for so long. I hoped he wouldn’t be weirded out by those memories but from the look he was giving me he looked extremely happy with it.

And now it was time for the last and most important present.

“Jung Hwan, I want to give you something really important to me.” I walked closer to him and took the album from his hands and placed it on my desk. I didn’t know how to approach this or even how to explain to him what I was about to give him.

“Oh?” He asked waiting for me to explain myself.

“Something I only want to give to you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked into his eyes. I hoped that he would get the hint and he seemed to when he wrapped his arms around my waist as well.

“Are you sure?” He whispered and moving closer to me.

I nodded and looked at him directly in the eyes. “I only want to be with you.”

He smiled at this and leaned down to kiss me slowly at first but then started to speed up a bit more and leaned backwards to reach the bed.

The way his lips formed to mine was perfect as he leaned us both down on my bed already messing up all of the decorations on it—not like I cared at the moment. He was very shy about this whole thing but he still took the lead when it came to the next part of actually removing clothes and actually getting somewhere beyond kissing. He moved his lips to my neck and started kissing it and on it slightly making me blush and gasp from the whole new feelings that were coursing through my body.

I just wanted more. I just wanted him.

He first removed his own shirt giving me time to remove my own as well. This wasn't a time of or anything really special, it was just a time for love and showing each other how much we meant to each other.

For my very first time it was amazing even though it was painful Sandeul still was gentle and nice throughout the whole thing. He didn't push anything too far and went at the pace we both were comfortable with. It wasn't that long but usually the first times never are. It felt awkward having to pull out the box of condoms that I had to buy for this event but I wanted to be prepared, even if that meant me being extremely awkward while buying them.

After we were done we didn't say much besides our whispers of 'I love you's until I knew it was time for him to leave and time for me to check on the baby. I didn't know how I was going to tell Gongchan but I knew this was the right choice. I knew I was going to be with Sandeul forever.

And I showed him that I was willing to give him my all today.

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Happy Birthday Lee Jung Hwan! I love you! Like seriously whoa Sandeul is my second favorite bias of all time and is in my favorite band of all time! I wanted to update on his birthday because duh! I want it to be slightly special! I'm sorry for not updating in a while but I really was waiting to update this on his birthday for his birthday XD My semester is getting harder now with more work but let's hope I can not be bogged down with homework so I can finish up this story~