“I’m going out.” I repeated but still my mom gave me an unsure look and glanced around the room. I just stood there beside Sandeul hoping that she would let me go outside. I was old enough to go to the park alone, I didn’t need a parent.

“Shouldn’t you wait until after lunch for me to take you?” She pressed further not wanting me to leave, but I merely shook my head.

“I’ll be fine.” I smiled and nodded to Sandeul. “I won’t be alone.” I didn’t want to believe that they couldn’t see him because he was so real to me. He was someone special to me and there was no way that he was just a figment of my imagination.

She finally sighed though showing weakness and finally agreeing for me to go to the park by myself since it really was only a little bit away.

I smiled brightly finally and ran out the door with Sandeul following close behind me shouting to wait up and let him walk beside me. I couldn’t help it really I was too happy. “Are you really this excited?” He asked but he already knew the answer by the expressions I was just showing by being able to do this.

“Yeah! This is technically my first date.” I proudly said but really I shouldn’t be too excited over this since going on a date when you’re in third grade did seem a bit weird.

But for Sandeul anything was normal and really spending all of our time together we were really already a couple in my mind—or I wanted us to be.

We walked the short distance not betraying my mom’s trust and going only to the park even though when we drew out our first date it was supposed to be filled with amusement parks, ice cream and as much fun places as possible. Of course this was not affordable on a third grader’s allowance. However she enjoyed any place as long as she was with her best friend.

“Well I’m glad I was the one to experience this with you.” He smiled and my heart literally melted at how sweet he sounded. Maybe he was a part of my imagination because there was absolutely no one in this world that was as sweet as him and there never will be.

“Are we going to be together forever?” I asked mainly out of curiosity but really this was a very deep subject for me.

“Of course.” He put his arms behind his back and grinned at me. “No one knows you better than me.”

“And no one ever will.” I finished and he just nodded as confirmation that he was not going to leave. “Good because life without you would be almost meaningless.”

I woke up at the sound of my alarm blaring in my ear and I immediately slammed my hand on it to stop the noise from getting any louder. Normally I’d be grumpy from waking up fairly early on a Saturday, but today was different. Today was my first official date with Sandeul even if I technically had dates with him before this moment.

He didn’t seem to consider our beach date as one and most likely he was trying to forget that scene because of what had happened. I tried not to think about it too much or else I’d get a headache and not feel too good.

I took a whole minute of thinking in my bed until finally I stood up and went to get dressed in something nice—something not casual but not fancy. I went for a cute outfit with a blue blouse and a white skirt. Of course since it was still cold outside I slipped on black leggings and matching black dress shoes to complete my outfit. I didn’t want to be underdressed for this but being too dressed could be a bad thing. “Oh whoa.” I whispered and tugged at my clothes slightly. “I’m actually acting like a girl.”

I shook that thought away from and shrugged telling myself that of course I should care because I was a girl and I was allowed to care about what I wear on a date with the one boy I’ve loved for almost all of my life.

Then it was time to tell my parents that I will be going out on a date today but before I could even tell them a knock sounded at the door and my father immediately went to answer it.

I was standing at the head of the stairs looking down at the scene with my father eyeing Sandeul as if Sandeul was about to come take me away and never bring me back.

“Hello Mr. May’s father.” Sandeul smiled brightly despite the look of frustration on my father’s face.

“Hello?” He asked back and I hoped that Sandeul had a good answer to this or else I would not be able to leave the house today. They seemed to like him back when he came over at the beginning of winter break and Sandeul did have that likable character, but I was still worried.

“I’m here to take your wonderful daughter on a date with me this fine Saturday.” Sandeul bowed slightly and finally I noticed how well dressed he was for a simple date. He had on a dress shirt and black slacks with a dark blue overcoat to keep him warm. He also had a few flowers in one of his hands and a box of candy in the other.

My father seemed absolutely confused and even turned his head to look at me for an answer. “I-uh,” I stuttered out and walked down the stairs finally. Sandeul smiled brightly when he saw me and I could even see a small bit of blush on his cheeks.

“Well?” He questioned further and allowed Sandeul to step inside the house and close the door.

“I was going to tell you today that I had a date but I completely forgot.” I sighed and slyly made my way towards Sandeul to stand next to him. “I’m a senior in high school, I’m allowed to go on dates, aren’t I?” I huffed and threw him off guard. Of course anyone would be with me since it wasn’t even until this year that I made actual friends and not my amazing imaginary one.

Finally he gave in and sighed. “Yeah, but be safe and make sure to be home in time for dinner, invite er—“

“Jung Hwan”

“—Jung Hwan if you’d like.”

Sandeul smiled at this and quickly took my hand and opened the door then bowing once more. “Thank you for letting me take your daughter out, I’ll be back by six sharp.” Then he pulled us out and shut the door.

Now the one bad thing about going out on a date with Sandeul was definitely one thing—we had no form of transportation.

But really that wasn’t so bad when Sandeul pulled out his mp3 player and started singing along to any song he knew—and boy did he have one amazing voice. I could see why he wanted to debut as a singer with his friends since I knew all of their abilities as singers, but not so much as dancers. I’ve been looking into kpop stars in South Korea and really all of them knew how to dance in one way or another which just made me wonder if they knew how to dance as well or hoped to get in on looks and singing alone.

“So why do you insist on calling me by my real name to your parents?” Sandeul broke my thought process and made me realize that the music had stopped and he was staring at me. His hand was dangerously close to mine and I didn’t know whether he wanted to hold my hand or if it was a coincidence.

“Because, uh, well it’s a long story.” I couldn’t really think of a good enough reason besides telling him the weird truth of having an imaginary best friend by his name. “Have you ever heard anyone else by the name of Sandeul?”

“Well no, but that’s why I think it was a unique name.” He smiled brightly and jammed his thumb into his chest trying to make a point.

“When did you come up with it?” I decided to try a different approach with maybe how he thought of it could make other’s think of it too.

“That’s uh a long story.” He then scratched the back of his head in embarrassment since he pretty much used the same excuse on me.

“Well good then we both have long stories we don’t want to tell.” I smiled, grabbed his hand and walked forward into the town hoping to find something to do to distract us from this conversation.

Luckily for me it worked perfectly and Sandeul completely forgot what we were taking about.

“So what are we going to do anyways?” I questioned once Sandeul dragged me to a random bus and sat us down in the back where there was no one else.

“Go window shopping; see a movie, go random other places.” Sandeul didn’t even have to think to answer that making me realize he has been planning this all week. I smiled at the thought and nodded not wanting to question him any further.

Once we were off the bus Sandeul grabbed ahold of my hand this time and dragged me to the nearest store that was definitely not a clothing store to my relief but actually a game store. He knows me so well.

“Look at this game.” He pointed to a racing game for the PS3, I shook my head and pointed at a Wii game instead since I liked Nintendo based games more than Sony. He nodded and grabbed the game eyeing it and even looking at the back.

“Is it two player?” He asked looking around at it as if it was going to eat him, I laughed and grabbed it from him and pointed at the little symbol on the top of the back showing that it was. He smiled once more and went to go buy it which surprised me.

“What are you doing?” I asked but he was already buying the item and handing it over to me.

“I know you don’t care for clothes or other girl items so I wanted to buy you a game instead. We can play it together.” He grinned and I couldn’t help but hug him for his kindness.

Maybe he really did love me just like how I love him. Maybe it was worth it going to Korea for him.

After we exited the game store we ended up looking at other stores just to laugh at their products and make stupid comments while other people thought we were childish and acting immature. At those comments Sandeul and I would just look at each other and laugh.

Finally we settled down at the movie theater to watch a movie which happened to be a comedy and definitely not romantic at all. Half way through the movie I wondered if maybe we were going out as friends and not as a date but I tried to shoo that thought away before it depressed me.

“So did you like it?” Sandeul asked the second we exited the movie theater and I nodded in excitement since it really was a good movie and something that I definitely enjoyed watching. He smiled and said, “Good” in a calmer fashion and took ahold of my hand once more.

My heart melted at his touch and just made me want to hold on to his hand forever. February was slowly ending and I knew our time was running out. We graduated either late May or early June. I didn’t want to think about a life without these five boys—especially the one that was holding my hand. I’ve finally come to terms with myself and that I really did love this boy. I went through so much denial in the beginning setting my eyes on Jinyoung instead, but really my love has always been for this boy.

“We should get going back to your house before it gets too late.” He broke the silence between us and started walking towards the bus stop. We had enough time to get back before six but I knew he wanted everything to go exactly right for our first date. Little did he know this wasn’t like a first date to me, but really a continuation from a really great childhood memory.

I really wished I could tell him about Sandeul and how much he meant to me as a kid growing up with nothing. I wanted him to know about how deep my love for him went and how long it has been around.

But I just couldn’t.

The bus coming up broke my thoughts but it didn’t stop me from remaining silent the whole ride home. Sandeul kept glancing at me from beside me but I just didn’t know what to say at this point. I wanted him to know that I had an amazing time and holding onto the game he bought me just showed that I loved it, but I just couldn’t speak.

The walk home was a little less silent with Sandeul pulling out his mp3 player once more and singing along to some Korean songs this time, some I’ve heard and some I’ve not. He really did have an amazing voice and without a doubt I’ll be a fan of his band from the beginning to end.

But that also worried me. He was going on with his life, with a plan and a form of action. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do for a living or where I wanted to go to college. I tried not to dwell on this thought because I was really happy for him, but I was just disappointed in myself. If I wanted him to love me the way I love him then I should make a show of it and do something important with my life to show that I care.

Hundreds to thousands of fans will be listening to his music while I’ll watch from the sidelines doing nothing with my life. I had to think of something to do—and fast.

“Right on time.” My father was outside waiting for us and he was right because it was about five minutes before six.

Sandeul smiled and pulling me forward gently so that he could let me through the door first and he followed my father inside and closed the door. My mom was in the kitchen with Ashton still cooking dinner but still greeted me and went back to cooking.

“Want to go up and play some games before dinner?” I finally spoke and Sandeul eagerly nodded to get away from speaking to my parents, the only thing my mom had to say was to keep the door open in my room.

I shouted back okay and went straight to my TV to turn it on. We played a few races on Mario Kart before finally my mom shouted that dinner was ready and to get down and eat. She made some good pasta as well as a bunch of side dishes that left Sandeul practically drooling.

“This is amazing!” Sandeul shouted but then tried to keep his voice in check since he didn’t want to seem rude while being at my house. I laughed and nodded already knowing that my mom was an amazing cook.

After dinner we went back up to my room but before turning on the TV Sandeul stopped me and spun me around to face him.

“Did you have a good day?” He asked making me blush from how close we really were and causing me to step back.

“Of course; that was the best date ever.” I smiled and he stepped forward once more giving us little to no space between us.

He had a certain look in his eyes—a look that I didn’t know if it was good or bad. He leaned a little forward slowly allowing me to react if I wanted to.

But I couldn’t react and I focused on how his eyes slowly shut and how his body seemed to lean even closer to me giving us absolutely no space.

Was he going to kiss me? I closed my eyes as well bracing myself for whatever that was about to happen next. I wasn’t scared of him kissing me, but I was still really surprised when his lips met my own. I could tell he has never kissed a girl by the way he stayed absolutely still, but it wasn’t like I was much better.

He then started to slowly move his lips to match my own and I moved as well to give him better access. It felt absolutely blissful to actually be kissing him for real and not my imaginary friend, though I will still always consider him my first kiss.

I felt myself running out of breathe soon after and right before I was about to pull away a sudden heaviness settled in my body and before I knew it I was on the ground.

And I out.

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Okay so it has been a while and to be honest I do not like this chapter at all XD Like seriously what the hell was I doing with this? XD I'll make it up to you guys I swear! Please don't unsubscribe ; ; I love you guys too much! Really sorry that it took so long but once this semester is officially over I'll really try to update this story its nearing the end but not quite yet~