Time passed by and I really did everything I could to get him out of my head. First I thought it worked, but I was only fooling myself. There seemed to be something, maybe it was just a very tiny thing, that always stopped me from forgetting him to the fullest. Maybe deep inside me, I didn’t want to forget him, I don’t know, but it was extremely frustrating to me. 

Every night I went over every single detail in my head thinking where I could have been wrong. What signs that I could have missed or that I could have taken wrong. Things that I maybe didn’t notice the first 100 times they passed in my head. Sadly, I ended up with nothing, except for tears. Over and over again. It made me completely exhausted. All the thinking, crying and lack of other toughts turned me into a zombie. 

No one said a word about it, even though every single person knew what was going on. Still, no one brought the subject ‘Kyuhyun’ up. No one ever talked about him anymore. No one invited him over anymore. And no one asked where he was anymore. 

I was kind of glad for that, because I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle things if they wouldn’t have done that. 

The only good thing going on in my life was my sweety Jessica. She would soon turn 5, which meant that she would start to change very fast once she celebrated her birthday. I knew time would go quick like that, which was good. It would make me happy to see her change so fast, to see something new or different about her every single day. That way I would have something to distract me form other things…

I seemed to be getting better after some time, well at least I acted like that around the other ones, just to stop them from worrying about me. They had enough things on their minds, and I didn’t want to be someone to stop them from being who they were and have fun.

But it was only a matter of time before I broke down. It was in the middle of the night. One of the nights where I was thinking about everything again. And suddenly I knew why I couldn’t forget him. It was because I had to be completely sure if he didn’t love me the same way as I loved him. Deep inside me I knew it was a stupid idea and that it was better if I stopped it right there to prevent myself from being hurt even more. But of course I was stupid and decided I had to see him. Even if it was the last time. 

It was ridiculous and the most brainless thing to do, but I still got up in the middle of the night, putting clothes on and walked towards his house. 
Before I knew I was standing in his bathroom. It was very damp in there and I heard the sound of water falling down so I knew he was taking a shower. It could take long, I knew that, but I didn’t care. I would have jumped from the highest building if it meant I would see him again. Even if it was just for a couple of seconds. 

He eventually turned off the water and took the towel. I heard him sigh the way he always does when he’s tired. Well, it was already the middle of the night and I wondered where he had been. Not that it was any of my business, but I just wanted to know. 

I knew it was only a matter of seconds before I would see his beautiful face again and it made my heart beat very fast like it was about to jump out of my chest. He finally stepped out of the shower and there he was. Hair sti