2nc chance kinda, ruminative, unlabeled but its different, friends to lovers but its friends to lovers to friends to lovers x infinity (but it's actually friends and lovers) 700~, see a/n if confused

Once two ends are experienced, the line blurs and we inevitably waver between without ever knowing where we stand. Jessica doesn’t blame Tiffany, and she knows Tiffany doesn’t blame her. Youth goes into the head, it makes you think you’re invincible, and the two of them thought so of themselves, both together and apart. So when it came crashing down and Tiffany and Jessica had to come to terms that love shouldn’t take form in each other, was what sort of love was left at the end of their relationship,?

But friends and lovers are just names for companions, and did they start as lovers, or was lovers a facade for the depth of their intimacy? Are they one, none, or both? 

Jessica doesn’t know either, and she’s almost certain Tiffany doesn’t. How long is too long to gaze at Tiffany’s lips when she asks her if the colour suits her. Why does Jessica ask Tiffany to zip up her dress when she could easily do it herself? Are Jessica and Tiffany lovers or friends? 

They never try to answer these questions, because, under the guise of ignorance, they never have to risk it all again. 

But when Tiffany smirks after Jessica stares for too long, when Jessica realises Tiffany’s touching her back more than she has to, Jessica doesn’t know how long she can pretend she doesn’t notice. She wonders if Tiffany is pretending as well. 

When Tiffany says one day, after inviting Jessica over for one of their sleepovers and the two are in bed, their movie just finished and a blank dark screen is displayed on the laptop in front of her, “let’s go back to before,” Jessica isn’t sure when before is since they oscillate betw