I could never take my eyes off him. I filled the rest of the days with SHINee, make up, and learning Korean.

Jonghyun hummed me my favourite song every night to sleep, no matter how tired he was. He always allowed me to sleep on him and did not mind sitting up sleeping at all. Although I liked sleeping with him beside, but I knew this was going to cause him aches and discomfort. I requested one night, with my basic Korean for him to rest on his bed. He just shook his head and continued humming.

I persisted that he gets some decent rest. But he was as pushy as I was. The daily routine went on.

Time passed quickly. To my delight surprise, he requested me to do his make-up for every day with the guidance of the make-up artist.

“Kamsahamnida, noona,” I thanked the make-up artist for coaching me. Jonghyun had fallen asleep on the chair while waiting for me to do his make-up. Moving slowly and carefully, I pulled a chair beside him and watched him sleep. He now had dark eye cycles below his eyes, and eye bags. It ached to see him so tired. He looked pale too, except not because of the make-up. Was there something wrong?

His brow knitted into a knot in his sleep. Cautiously, I reached out to smooth his frown with my finger.

“It is alright, Jonghyun.” I whispered, making his is frown disappeared. A loud bang of the door woke him up. I flinched at his sudden movement.

He rubbed his eyes and realized I was staring at him.                        

“What have I missed?” His English improved faster than I had with Hangeul.

“Nothing, JJong Oppa,” I smiled at him.

“JJong Oppa?” He suppressed a laugh.

“That is what everyone called you, isn’t it?” I said, not even knowing the meaning behind this nickname.

Before he could comment, his face crumpled together, and he let out a big sneeze. I giggled as I watched him. But his sneezing did not stop. I was troubled, did he fall sick?

“Are you sick, oppa?” I asked in an anxious voice.

“I am fine.” Jonghyun responded. As he got up, he staggered. I reached out for him as quick as I could manage. He leaned on me, rubbing his forehead. He was very hot, like running a fever.

“I am fine,” Jonghyun mumbled and was barely conscious.

I touched his forehead to confirm my suspicions and it was burning hot. He was running a fever!

“Onew! Onew! Jonghyun is having a fever!” I cried across the room. Onew’s head turned in horror. He got hold of Jonghyun as he crossed the room. Onew and Key took him from me and carried him to manager’s car. I followed along, scared stiff. The other members were behind me with terror reflecting on their faces too.

“He is running a high fever. We will be giving him drips. So he has to stay for a night for observation. Please come with me to handle the papers.” The doctor spoke in Korean, which made me even more irritated as I could not register his Korean words.

“He is staying tonight. He will be fine” Onew had seen my frustration and translated for me. I merely nodded, fearing that I might cry once I said anything. Taemin was sitting beside me, comforting me, was relieved to hear the doctor’s words.

“Can we see him now?” I barely spoke above a whisper. Onew nodded and led the way to his ward.

There, he lied, with needles piercing through his perfect skin. He was pale and was sleeping soundly even then. I let go of Taemin’s hold and dropped to the side of Jonghyun. He was as white as the sheets on the bed. This was not a good sign, white suddenly did not look so good on him.

It was my fault. All the nights he spent sleeping uncomfortably beside me. All along he was with me, and I was foolish enough to not notice he was running a fever. I started tearing up. Fighting the tears, I looked at him. He was all I had. I could not lose him. I blamed myself continuously.

“It is not your fault you know,” Onew spoke as though he could read my mind.

I shook my head, it was me to blame. I picked up the wet towel left by the nurse and placed on his head. I had to do everything I could to alleviate his condition. I wanted him back to his normal skin color, light bronze. I wanted to peel of the white that coloured his skin.

I held his hands and prayed that he could get well. Even if to give up my life and my visions to save him, I would.