Jongup

~+~+~+~

He followed after me as I exited the building and fled down the sidewalk. I didn't run from him but I walked with a hasty step and each one I took injected more anxiety into my veins. Go away Daehyun.. I can't handle this anymore. I don't want my heart to keep pounding like this every time you're around.. It shook my whole body as I could feel him getting closer and closer. I didn't even know where I was going but I would go anywhere right now just to get away from him. It was useless though, I realized. I'd have to confront him eventually and now was the time.

    I slowly balled my fists and stopped in my tracks, hearing him skid to a halt about a meter behind me and hesitate awkwardly as I stood there silently for a long moment. "Wae." I finally called out, still not turning to face him.

   "..M-Mwo?" He stuttered, I could hear his face twist in confusion just in the tone of his voice. "I already told you.  I was worried-"

   "Wae?" I repeated, louder and more sharply, nearly cutting him off. Why? Not why are you here, why do you worry about me? Why... I wanted to know more, I needed to know.

   "B-...Because," He hesitated, searching for the right answer. "You're my best friend." He failed to give it. I could hear him slowly begin to step forward as he spoke and I tensed up.

   "Daehyun." My eyes closed in endurance and my teeth clenched, his name coming out sharply. I then lowered my head, turning it slightly to the side, not enough to look at him but to address him more directly. He stopped moving as I had intended. My next words would be tough.. I rolled over them in my head, contemplating their consequence. Is this really what I wanted to say..? These next few words would change our relationship completely, would probably ruin it. I could feel the anticipation begin to pour out of him.

   "Hyung, I.."

Yongguk

~+~+~+~

    Hwajae slammed the door and I felt rage boil up inside me.

    “!” I hissed loudly and chucked a stray water bottle across the room. It bounced off the mirror and clattered across the floor, cracking and leaking old water all over.

    I heaved a sigh as I plopped down on the bench and ran my fingers through my hair. What am I going to do? Hwajae is incredibly talented, it's not that she doesn't deserve to win, she just can't! I've worked too hard to lose to some girl who just randomly showed up. Stealing our practice room. Stealing our fans, our future, stealing our damn maknae! My brows furrowed angrily as I thought about how she used his name against me, I knew I wasn't crazy. Her words replayed in my mind. You can't tell me what to do bla bla blaa~ I rolled my eyes in annoyance and crossed my arms.

    I shook my head trying to get her out of it but it was useless. She was beautiful and skilled… she could. She could beat us. I couldn't let this go on. Then I slowly came to a stop. Maybe I can't tell Hwajae what to do, but there is one person I can tell what to do.

    I left the room and headed down the stairs, I didn't see Jongup and Daehyun as I left but I didn't bother to worry about it, as long as they were together, everything would be fine.

    I made my way back to the dorms, my mind reeling with what I would say, what I would do when I saw him.

   I finally got to the door of our dorm and took a breath, attempting to level myself out the tiniest bit before I went inside. I then pushed open the door and stepped in, looking around. Youngjae was on the couch, with a blanket and his ipad and Himchan was gone, probably out doing some errands.

  "Yo." Youngjae acknowledged me as I passed through the room and I simply grunted in reply, making my way to the bunk room. He'd better be there...

   I pushed the door open that was already cracked and without any courtesy, flicked the lights on.

   "Yah!"

Daehyun

~+~+~+~

  "Daehyun." I stopped in my tracks, my feet feeling heavy on the ground and my eyebrows feeling like they were nearly about to touch. His voice was so harsh and slightly strained. What was wrong...? Shouldn't he have been glad to see me? It's like everything I do lately had the opposite effect I intended.

    I could feel tension grow in my jaw as I longed to say something more, to defend myself or something but there was nothing I could think of that I hadn't already said. Why are you here? My stomach burned as I thought about the question he kept asking and I scowled slightly. Why do you have to ask... Its because he knew that the answer I was giving him wasn't good enough and that made me panic. I was speechless.

    I then realized how long it had been since he said something and I looked up to him to see him slightly turn his head. My chest buzzed in the anticipation that he would turn to face me and I'd finally be able to read his expression but it didn't happen.

    "Hyung, I..." His eyes slightly flickered down and his stance wavered, it felt like my ears were trying to stretch from the sides of my head to catch his next words. "I don't want to be best friends anymore."

   My heart stopped and my jaw dropped. I was speechless until a laugh fell from my mouth. "What?" I smiled and shook my head, stepping forward and placing my hand on his shoulder. "Jongup-ah, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard, what are you talking like that for?"

   "I'm serious!" He barked at me, jerking around and yanking himself away. My hand jerked back as if I had been zapped - well, I had. I felt my eyes slightly sting too. My mouth grasped for words but couldn't find any. His eyes had finally met mine with a cold burning hate.

    "J-jongup..." My tongue finally stumbled. I couldn't believe what was happening right now.

    "Just stay away from me, Daehyun.." he softened but not in a good way, he was still rigid and cold. And then he took off again, stalking away.

    I stood there for a moment, slightly panicking. "Jongup, wait." I called out, growing stern, now I was angry.  

Zelo

~+~+~+~

    I made it to bed so late the night before that I had slept like a log straight up to the moment that Yongguk Hyung burst into the room, guns a blazing.

    “Yah!” His booming voice rattled me awake so hard that I nearly rolled straight off my bunk, my heart pounding as luckily, I saved myself from the fall.

    “Wae?” I shot back in panic, my mind not having been awake long enough to even wonder what was happening. His face darkened as he moved through the door like an omen. I suddenly felt that I should be afraid.

    “Why is Seo Hwajae sleeping in our practice room?” I froze at her name, instantly reeling with how did I get here’s and what if’s. I couldn’t even muster an answer and instead simply gawked down at him like a pabo, feeling myself begin to sweat.

    “Yah!” He yelled again but this time truly exploding. I blinked in disbelief. Hyung has never yelled at me like this… “Are you training her?” He accused suddenly and my stomach lurched. I instantly slid to the floor in front of him. Over the years, I had gotten so tall that I didn’t need to crane my neck to look into his eyes anymore but he still had a few inches on me.

    “Ani.” I pleaded with him in my most convincing tone, trying my best to put on the puppy eyes without making it obvious.

    “Do not lie to me dongsaeng.” An authoritative finger appeared but his tone turned lower and more threatening. My heart began to race even more.

    “Is she your girlfriend?”

    “What! No!” That was the most genuine answer I’d give him. He pressed his lips together as his knuckles whitened.

    “Then you better give me a damn good reason-“

    “She needed help!” I blurted and his stern glare faltered. I don’t know why I lied to him without even thinking, but how could I tell him the truth anyhow? “She told me she had nowhere to go…” He simply continued to stare into me with fire in his eyes but said nothing.

    “Hyung please don’t be mad…” I resorted to begging him as fear crept into the silence. “I’d never betray BAP.” After another pause, he slowly straightened up and looked at me down his nose.

    “That’s right.” He said coldly and I didn’t find any relief. “I’m not going to be mad at you for doing the right thing, but you can’t be friends with her.” I was silenced by the words I was trying to avoid. I knew Yongguk Hyung wouldn’t like seeing me with Noona but now that I was forbidden from her, everything was different.. I wanted to find anything to say in protest but there were no words that could leave my throat. Only my brows furrowed and finally Yongguk softened, turning his sharp pointy finger into a gentle hand on my shoulder.

    “She doesn’t want to be your friend.” He spoke in a much different way now. “She’ll just try to use you, and us.” It stung but I couldn’t fight him.  I didn’t want to believe that Hwajae noona was like any other friend I’d ever had but.. how could I know for sure?

    “Jah.” He finally said with a sigh, giving my shoulder a squeeze, “let’s find something to eat.”

Jongup

~+~+~+~

   "What is wrong with you?" Daehyun finally snapped, following me again, and I balled my fists refusing to look back at him. I didn't need to in order to feel the heat build between us, even with my back him.

     "You have been pouting, all week." His words came out hard and accusatory. I felt myself begin to falter. Has it been that obvious..? I couldn't help these feelings.. I knew I told myself that I would try to forget about the thought of Jung Daehyun despite Taeil Hyung's encouragement and now he was mad at me for snapping at him at the show last week and too embarrassed of me to bring me around work. I felt like I was slowly beginning to become someone that Daehyun hyung wouldn't want to be around anymore. I couldn't deny that pain, but I needed to do whatever I could to keep myself from getting hurt.

   "Is it because of me?" He barked out, his footsteps stomping to a halt. I froze in my tracks as well but the ice cold chill running down my spine forced me not to turn back.

   "...What?" I tried to ask but my voice came out far weaker than I had hoped for, my palms beginning to sweat.

   "I thought that it would be better off if I just left you alone!" He broke and it was startling to hear him sound so vulnerable. So much so, that without thinking I turned to meet his gaze, my brows knitting together as it became hard to breathe, all of the muscles in my chest tangling up together in a knot.

    "B-better...?" I managed to spit them out though I could barely form the words as my mind shook from what was unfolding before it. "For what?" He didn't answer. We just stood there facing off on the side of a random dirty street, the wind ruffling his bangs ever so slightly - it didn't change the hard burn in his eyes. I was determined to stand my ground this time but when he began moving towards me I felt my knees go weak.

    "Don't.." I felt the plea fall through my lips on a shaky breath as my guard began to crumbl and I shrank back into myself losing any false confidence I had managed to build up. I didn't know what he was going to do. I didn't want to know because whatever it was, I knew it would hurt..

            "Jongup." His beautiful voice spoke my name but before I could react, his feet landed just before mine and I felt him harshly grip the back of my neck. I brought my head up, opening my mouth to protest one last time but my speech was cut off when something collided into my mouth. Not harshly, it was firm but soft and plump. I choked on my breath as my eyes widened to find his tightly shut.

    I could feel Daehyun's chest lightly brush mine as my heart pounded out of it making me tremble. He tilted his head, holding me firmly in a deep kiss. His hand felt so strong and warm on the back of my neck. I felt as though I were deadlocked to him but every instinct that should have been telling me to pull away did the exact opposite and for the slightest moment, I melted into him, my lips locking with his and my vision blurring as my eyelids fluttered. My fingers grasped out taking a desperate handfull of his shirt just so that I felt like I had something to hold onto while my mind was blasted off into space.

    It all happened so quickly, I didn't even have the slightest ability to internalize what was happening. When I tried to, I thought I might have a heart attack and instead I impulsively squeaked against his lips.

   He pulled back and I shook, my breaths coming out in trembly bursts.

  "I'm sorry" He said softly, unable to meet my eyes. My mind was so jumbled I couldn't process a reply, I simply stood there staring at him in disbelief, feeling the red hot flush in my cheeks and the tingle that the flutters in my heart sent all the way to my fingertips. I knew I should say something, anything, especially as he stepped away with the deepest look of shame imaginable. But I couldn't. And I couldn't understand it; why would he kiss me?

    Daehyun kissed me...

   "Forget that it happened." He said and became cold once again turning away. He hesitated there for just a moment before stalking off. In a totally different direction leaving me glued to the cement feeling like my lungs were filling with water and that my legs would fail me if I even tried to move them.

How? How could I forget that.

AN:

I can’t believe I left you guys hanging with this chapter, the worst part is that most of it was written already //bricked

I just spent too long denying what really needed to happen 

Also, I ing miss BAP okay dude //cries 

if anyone is still here, I love you 

lets pretend like everything is the same TTuTT