Hoya’s eyes immediately became watery after you said those words. BECAUSE I’M LEAVING KOREA SOON. It hit him like a huge boulder. His heart and mind could not put it into his system. The fact that you just told him that you will always love him no matter what and now you are saying that you are leaving him soon. No. Hoya could not accept that. He would not. The tears from his eyes stream down on his cheeks like a waterfall, teardrop to another teardrop.

His voice cracks as he speaks. “You’re leaving me? You said you love me.” He looks down biting his lower lip to prevent himself from sobbing really hard. You look at him in awe. His tears made your heart so weak making you ask yourself: why did this happen to us?

You prevent your tears from falling, you did not want him to see you crying. “It’s for the two of us. We live in different worlds, we have different culture, beliefs, and how we handle relationships.” You gathered all your strength to say that. These words will haunt you forever, you know it. You think to yourself as you wait for his response:  “I have to do it. I had to say it. I have to hurt you so you would let me go.” You were not able to hold back your tears, so they started falling.

Hoya pulls you in a hug. “Please, please don’t leave me. I would not be able to handle it.” He tightens the hug making you feel his warmth and love. You don’t pull away from it, you hug him back. It would be the last time that you will hug him this way. No spaces between the two of you that is how close you are at this very moment. The two of you are savouring it. You thinking that, yes, this would be the last. While his heart tells to himself that you’ll eventually come back to him and realize how much you love him and how happy he was when he was with you. 

You bury your face on his shoulder. “Baby, I have to do this. I have to go back and have my normal life back.” You sniff and continue. “If you really love me, you would let go of me. Baby…” You hug him closer by the neck like saying that you are having a hard time letting go too. “Please..”

“No, I won’t let go of you.” He puts his hand on the back of your head and caresses your hair. “If you pull away from this hug, that means we’re through.”

You move to look at his face and kiss his lips for a long time.

Then you pull away from the hug and walk away.