We all stared in silence as Jae Ha’s parents started to pack their clothes in a single suitcase. Finally Jae Ha went up to his parents demanding to know what was going on.

 

“Your grandmother is in the hospital. We need to go take care of her.” His father replied.

 

Jae Ha was startled. He stumbled backwards saying something about going to pack until his mother stopped him.

 

“You're in your senior year of high school. You will stay here with your cousin and Soon Hee.” She turned to me, “Soon Hee darling. Can you stay here with the boys? They can't do anything for themselves.”

 

In a situation like this, I had no choice but to say yes. Within twenty minutes, his parents have packed and left the house leaving the three of us clueless of what to do. I'm used to disasters and this is far from one. I grabbed Jae Ha and stuck him in front of the table where I placed his breakfast. Kai went to wash up.

 

His grandmother helped raise him. He was very close to her. I've met her a few times as well. She took a lot of care of me once my parents passed. He was worried. Nothing could say otherwise. I reassured him. I told him it was going to be okay. There was nothing else I could do but be the best friend. He squeezed me into a hug and began smiling again.

 

This is what Jae Ha does. When he's upset, he'll only let himself be upset for a little bit then put on a brave face for those around him. It's what he defined as being a man. I always called him stupid for thinking that but I also knew it had something to do with his pride, not just his manhood. For that, there wasn't much I could say.

 

I kissed the top of his head as I went to go get ready. I heard a knock at the door soon after.

 

“Come in” I said.

 

Jae Ha opened the door and stepped inside. He just looked down and didn't say anything. He then looked at me with clouded eyes.

 

“Take it off.” He was referring to my clothes.

 

“What?” I asked ghastly.

 

He then came over to me and started to my shirt.

 

“Jae Ha?!” I gasped, “Stop!”

 

He's seen me in a bikini so this wasn't much different, however it was the action itself that was scaring me. That's why I resisted him. He was forcing me down on his bed and trying to get my blouse off.

 

“You're sick! I don't want you in the hospital too!” He exclaimed. He then went limp on top of me and started to cry.

 

Jongin ran in at this point hearing the screaming and was about to break up whatever was going on, until he realized Jae Ha was crying. He sat on the bed beside us and started to pat Jae Ha’s back as I was too, or rather attempting to.

 

Jongin lifted Jae Ha off of me and let him lie on the bed. I stayed lying with him. I let him cry in my arms. Jongin went out for a minute and came back announcing he called the school about both our absences.

 

Jae Ha eventually fell asleep from the crying and I joined Jongin Oppa at the table to eat our breakfast.

 

“You don't seem so shocked about all this.” I observed.

 

“Ya. I'm from Jae Ha’s mom’s side of the family. This grandmother is from his father’s side so I didn't really meet her much.” He replied, “He relies on you a lot. I'm glad he has you.”

 

“I do too. He takes a lot of care of me. I'd do anything for him.”

 

Jongin took off his sweater and stood up. I stared at him very confused as he crossed the table over towards me. He put his sweater on me and smiled. I then realize, my shirt was still half buttoned up since Jae Ha’s little outburst. He got up and started washing the dishes. I run over to him and tell him that I’ll do it. He just moved his back so it's facing me. We started wrestling a bit for the sponge.

 

I finally got hold of it and that's when he grabbed my wrist making me face him and making me drop the sponge. He looks into my eyes very intently. So intently that I don't know how to look away. We stayed like that for a moment. A moment, to this day, still feels like hours. Those big brown eyes that always drew me in to him. He finally let go of my wrist and began to speak. 

 

“You're sick. You seriously need to learn to let others do things for you. Plus you're always taking care of others. It's okay to take a break sometimes Soon Hee.”

 

I still stared at him as he went to go and lift the sponge and continue doing the dishes. A thought popped into my head at that very moment: he's a beautiful person. Why did i think this? I made my mind wander elsewhere to get rid of this thought.

 

I went to the couch and lied down. Before I knew it, darkness clouded over me and I fell asleep.

 

The dreams were always the same. A moving car. My parents in the front seat and I in the back. I was young. Having two ponytails on either side of my head and a bright smile on my face. Looking at the two people I have loved most in the world.

 

Then it happened; Another driver came on the wrong side of the road and hit the front of our car resulting in us spiraling out of control. We move off the barricade and into the water. I've swam as long as I could remember. I wasn't exactly scared. I knew I couldn't breathe underwater so I took off my seatbelt, opened the car door and swam up. I reached the surface in what felt like forever and found land instantly.

 

I thought my parents could swim too. Turns out they couldn't. Their bodies were found two hours after my crying and screams were heard. It was then that I shut off my emotions. It was then, that I decided the world is a cruel and disgusting place.

 

I woke up startled. I instantly sat up and took in my surroundings. It was more than a dream; it was a memory. A memory that'll never fade out of my mind.

 

I instantly see hands wiping at my face. I follow the arms to find Jongin Oppa wiping the tears that always follow the dream.

 

“Bad dream?” He asked.

 

I nodded my head in response.

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

I've never talked about it with someone before. Never. Not even Jae Ha no matter how many times he needs to wake me up from the dream. But for some reasons unknown to myself, I did want to talk about it.

 

“Can we?” I asked.

 

He nods his head and passes me a hot cup of cocoa.

 

I sit with my legs up on the couch hugging myself.

 

“I'm sure you've guessed but my parents passed away a long time ago. Thing is, I was with them when it happened. When the drunk driver came out onto the road and hit our car. We went off the road and into water. I could swim. I forced myself to. I was a kid. The only thing I knew was life. I never knew the idea of death. Simply put, I could swim. They couldn't. Their bodies were found with no source of light.

It was the last time I ever saw them. Not even at their funeral. My family wouldn't let me look. I was too young to exactly recollect my parents, but that feeling of love and that one memory is all I have of them. I did go to therapy as a kid but my family saw no difference as I never cried after it happened. They thought I was completely fine. And I do too, except for when I have this dreams.” I laid my head in between my knees.

 

Jongin placed his cup on the table and his arm over me bringing me closer to him. He then started by saying, “I’m not going to pretend I know how you feel because I don't. But the one thing I can promise you is that you have people who love you. People who would do anything for you. Like my aunt for example. She looks at you with full love in her eyes. Jae Ha loves you so much more than just a sister. He would go to the ends of the world for you. He also told me about your other friend, I don't remember her name, but Jae Ha said that she takes care of you. She was the one person there after your family passed. And I-” he stammered here, “I know I don't know you well but I do know I want to take care of you and protect you.”

 

I look up at him in surprise yet at the same time relief.

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

“Because,” he started. “I care about you.”

 

His eyes searched mine. Looking for something: relief? Disgust? I don’t know why but the pain that’s usually there in the pit of my stomach after my dream, isn’t. I did know one thing: I was so happy he said that and it made me think of something.I smiled at him.

 

“Oppa. Tomorrow is the weekend. Do you want to go do something with me?”