[recap]
"shua, i'm sorry, i love you but-"

"you're worrying me, jeonghan-" 

"shua, i'm so, so, so sorry." his voice had become softer 

"jeonghan-" 

"i kissed him."

***

"you what?" joshua says in disbelief and sadness clear in his voice. 

soonyoung, now regrets listening into their conversation,  now wondering if he should tell the others about this or not.

"i kissed him, seungcheol, i kissed seungcheol, and felt something, shua-" 

"don't call me that," he snapped.

"sorry, joshua, i-just, ugh, please, please, joshua, i'm sorry.." 

"why the hell bother to date me if you still feel feelings for him? i date you cause you're an amazing person, fun to be with, lovable personality, jeonghan, its been three years, and i've known that i love you in two, and here you are, ing crawling back to the why you cried every damn night!" 

"joshua please, i'm sorry-" 

"you better be, jeonghan, you said it yourself; you kissed him and felt feelings. the same ones from years ago i'm sure." 

"please don't be like this joshua, i still love you, i promise." 

"and you promised me, on that night under the rain that you would never love anyone besides me, and look at that," he said dryly. "also, don't say you love me. you clearly don't after all these broken promises."

"but you know what?" he continued. "after all this, i still love you, after all those broken promises, i still love you. and i'm tired of it" 

"joshua, please," jeonghan pleaded.

"i'm sorry jeonghan, but if you really love me, you better make up your mind about your damn feelings. right here, right now."

"i don't know, joshua. i don't know." he looked down at his hands as he felt tears fill his eyes.

then soonyoung saw the door swing open, revealing an angry and disappointed looking joshua. startled, he froze, and joshua eyed the younger boy then shook his head. he could still jeonghan's cry inside the room.

"how much did you hear?" joshua asks worriedly. 

"i- a lot..." he looked down, feeling disrespectful. joshua sighed, and told him never to tell anyone about what had happened. then he left. 

joshua walked towards towards main door, and left the house slamming the door, making sure jeonghan knew. 

suddenly, another door opened, reveling a teary eyed seungcheol. "s-soonyoung, hi," he smiles. 

"hi hyung." he then opens the door to the room joshua and jeonghan was at and closes it. 

soonyoung slowly walks down the stair case, not wanting to hear anything happen between their friend group anymore. 

there, he sees a worried looking jihoon, wondering what had happened, as he witnessed joshua abruptly leaving the house. he eyes the boy, and just shakes his head. "long story, jihoonie. long story."

"don't call me jihoonnie," he says with a disgusted expression. 

"alright, jihoonie. i won't."

"stop," jihoon says seriously, frightening soonyoung. 

"okay, i'm sorry." he apologizes.

**

"where did shua go?" jeonghan says, entering the balcony of the second floor. it was only him there, making the view of jun's house more beautiful to look at. he rests his body on the metal railings, and looks at the city that rested only a few streets away. 

he sighs, and tilts his head a bit. jeonghan thinks about what had happened a few hours ago, and tries to feel at ease. he closes his eyes for a while and thinks. the sun hits his face, and he loosens the grip his hand has on the railings. he sighs again and contemplates as to which is best to do based off of his actions. 

"seungcheol-" jeonghan says, removing his arm away from the grip of seungcheol's arm.

"what?" he says, wondering as to why he lead jeonghan outside to talk, alone.

it was only a few hours after the fight, joshua was already asleep on the room, while jeonghan and seungcheol were in the other. 

"i just-i" he tried to say, but couldn't make up the words. 

"what?" he repeated.

"n-nothing-its just"

"tell me" he demands, without sounding to harsh. 

"no..." 

"jeonghan-"

"can i kiss you?" 

and sengcheol freezes before placing his lips against jeonghan's, he immediately kisses back. he didn't know if it was the alcohol or the feelings, but he felt something. it was something he couldn't remember, but it felt familiar. jeonghan smiles into the kiss, before they broke apart. 

suddenly, his face turned from embarrassed and happy, to worried. jeonghan gets up from sitting on the bed while seungcheol stays there, confused.

jeonghan walks to the room joshua was in. as he falls to the spot next to him, he felt shua's arms wrap around him. 

tears suddenly started to fall from his eyes. he felt like a cheater. he tried to sort out his feelings, but couldn't. he was lost, and he knew that. 

jeonghan shook his head, and ruffled his hair. tears were already filling his eyes. 

the balcony door suddenly opens, revealing seokmin. he told him that they were about to leave soon, so he followed him downstairs. 

everyone greeted him, before he left the house as well. he sat on his car seat, as seungcheol drove silently.

[a/n]: 
just saying, no one is over exaggerating their words here, especially joshua, he knows what he's saying and what happened before.