"oops," seungkwan says as he realizes the current situation right in front of him. 

"i'm just gonna go now, pretend i was never here," he trails off, a nervous laugh slipping from his lips, "yeah." seungkwan awkwardly smiled at them as he slowly closed the door with every word he said.

"great," joshua mutters, running his hand through his light brown hair. 

"great? that's all you're gonna say?" jeonghan questions, feeling somewhat angry. "shua, seungkwan could've heard us. he could tell everyone that, no, everything isn't okay. remember what that k.b. dude said, too? who the hell can we trust?! there's so much going on and you're just gonna complain?" jeonghan rambled on in distress.

"don't call me shua," was all that joshua said to the other.

jeonghan's face softens, but he quickly regains his anger and storms away from joshua with questions in his head. he goes to the kitchen and decided to think by himself for a while.

seungcheol glares at the younger seated comfortably on the chair. "what?" he asks, confused as to why everyone suddenly hates him. the older shakes his head at him and walks to the kitchen to go check on jeonghan. 

***

"i'm gonna go look for mingyu, i'll see you later, alright?" wonwoo told jun over the loud music, his words expressed through a yell. it was the night of halloween, and it was always tradition for them to go out in halloween costumes and go to parties of people they didn't even know that well. this year, they were at one of the halloween themed frat parties. there were drinks, girls, and drama. but none of that really mattered for anyone in their group. 

wonwoo decided to be a vampire, and junhui a pirate. they found it childish but funny how it was what they dressed up as years ago. mingyu turned out to be a werewolf. and the rest of them, the two haven't seen yet.

"yeah, alright. just don't do anything weird, who knows who's here anyway." wonwoo nods at junhui's advice and disappears into the crowd of fully dressed and drunk people.

amidst the loud music and the many people in the party, minghao sat alone in a corner of a room. he played with the plastic red cup in his hand, watching as the remaining liquid spun around and a spilled a few drops on his fingers.

jun watched in pity as his 'boyfriend' sat alone at a party that was very much alive. they haven't texted in weeks, maybe months, and barely see each other anymore. he was starting to wonder if they were still dating or not. 

unknowingly, he finds himself sat on the stool beside minghao. he orders a non-alcoholic drink, remembering what kai said about having too much to drink in one night. minghao acted as if he wasn't there, he only ever shot short glances at him.

"um, hi." jun smiles at the boy beside him. he returns the smile but continued to ignore him and take a sip from his drink.

"so, how's uni so far?" he tries to initiate a conversation, but once again, minghao just gives him a thumbs up and asks for a refill. 

jun sighs and thanks the guy who gave him his drink. he tries to gather up the courage to talk to him, but it's been weeks since they've talked casually. giving up, he just blurts out whatever comes to his mind, it's just minghao, right? 

"hey, i haven't talked to you in a long time and i'm kind of worried. seeing you so depressed and not doing anything about it makes me feel like a boyfriend. wait, are we still dating? 'cause we haven't seen each other in a long time and you don't reply. i don't want to break up though, i really miss you. can you at least tell me that you're doing fine? 'cause i'm really worried for you, minghao," jun rambled on and on, feeling nervous about what he was blurring out all of a sudden.

minghao looks at junhui, and he can see how glossy his eyes have become. 'he really cares about me, doesn't he?' he questions himself internally. he bites his lip nervously and opens his mouth to finally say something. 

"it's not that i hate you, jun," he told his boyfriend in a soft voice. "there are still things i need to figure out, okay? just remember if anything happens, it's all for you, alright?" 

"why do you always keep things from me? the bullying, the low grades, the divorce, now this?" jun said exasperatedly. then he continued on, "i don't want to know every detail of your life, but i've been here since pre school. you can tell me anything, alright? i'm just really worried."

"fine." 

"what?" 

"i said fine, i'll tell you."

***

"where the hell are we going, minghao?" jun asks, walking behind him to the basement of the house they were at. "somewhere." he rolls his eyes at jun's question.

minghao sits on one of the beanbags, and jun does the same. "i'm sorry," was the first thing he said, making the mood of the place depressing. 

the younger runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. "look, i don't know how the hell i can explain this to you, but i'll try."

"you don't have to if you don't want to..."  jun trails off, feeling like he pushed him to do this. "oh, trust me, i need to tell you." minghao paused for a moment to take a deep breath and close his eyes then said quietly, "i'm aromantic, junhui."

he avoided jun's gaze, but he knew that he had a look of disbelief on his face. "what?" the boy asked him in a soft whisper, his words barely even heard.

"i'm aromantic," minghao repeated to him, his voice loud and clear this time.

"d-doesn't that mean that you like intimacy? you don't like romance?"

"yeah." the younger sighed.

"so you never loved me?" jun spoke, his voice cracking slightly and his words laced with disappointment and sadness.

"not in the way you did..." minghao trailed off, his voice getting softer and quieter as he felt the familiar feeling of guilt wash over him.