it was the start of october, and the finals of the first semester were to start a few days from now since they had started in late august. and while everyone studied and made groups to do so, minghao preferred to be alone. compared to the others, he was the most closed-off. one of the reasons for that is language barrier and his own issues. 

he isn't the type to open up to people. coming straight from china to korea—just because his childhood friend told him to do so—wasn't easy. he had to learn and entirely new language, a new culture, and meet new people. 

jun was always beside him. ever since early grade school, he was always by his side. he still remembers the older boy approach him at his seat and talk to him about how much he likes food. and that was the first time they met. 

he did everything to see junhui smile. so when he texted him in the middle of the night (china time), saying that he wanted him to stay with him in korea, without hesitation he packed his bags and waved his parents goodbye. he was in senior year after all, so he knew how to care for himself. 

thinking about it, minghao smiled as he opened his highlighter to highlight a part of a text he was reading. he was in the library, rereading his notes and contemplating on his relationship with junhui. 

he took his pen, and grabbed a black notebook from his bag. from the looks of it, it was old. multiple papers sticking out of the sides a long with pictures. he turned it to an open page and started writing another entry in his native language. 

noticing his words won't come to an end, he stopped and took a deep breath. he looked at the three pages he filled with chinese characters rereading each of them.

feeling like he should, minghao opens his notebook to a random page. a picture of him and jun appears. it was a picture of the two hugging each other at the airport; that was the day minghao arrived to korea. the memory seems so vivid to him, it almost felt like it just happened yesterday. 

his smile turns into a frown, and he's suddenly feeling more sad rather than happy and nostalgic. he puts the notebook back into his bag and gathers all his notes and books, calling it a day. minghao puts those inside his bag too and slowly walks towards the exit of the campus library. 

as he walks through the aisles, he feels as if he's being watched somewhere. he looks around, but sees no one besides a tired looking librarian struggling to find where to put a book. minghao looks at his watch and sees that he still has a lot of time left before heading back to his shared dorm with seokmin and mingyu. 

curious, he walks around once more. aisle after aisle, he wanders around the campus library. along the way, he finds books about topics he never even knew had books for. interested, he grabs a book about phycology and starts to read about whatever he finds interesting, completely forgetting about what else he had in mind. it was probably just nothing to be worried about, it was four in the afternoon after all. 'probably just that librarian or something' 

"oh, sorry," someone tells him once his book flew out of his hands and to the ground. '' he thinks, picking the book back up. "no—it's okay—" he takes a look up, and is met with a pair of eyes, and a smile that is to familiar to go unrecognized. "seungcheol?" 

"oh, hey, minghao. long time since i've seen you actually." he smiles, and before he could start a conversation, minnghao tries to run. but seungcheol's grip says otherwise. 

"why do you keep running away? from your problems and us?" seungcheol's change of mood somehow scares minghao. 

"dude, we're worried as for you, and the only person who knows is kai. she won't say anything either. look, i'm not trying to sound pushy or anything, but can you at least tell us—or even me—a bit if what's going on?" 

"yeah, i will. once you finally tell us—and by us i mean the rest of us 10. what the happened—or is happening—to you, jisoo, and jeonghan."

the older stays silent for a bit, before giving up and letting go of his grip on minghao's wrist. "i would, but it isn't that simple."

"life isn't simple, seungcheol. mine isn't, yours isn't either," minghao says before turning his back and walking away.

"hey, hao?" 

"what?" he responds, sounding more harsh than he should have.

"can we talk? about nothing specifically, i just kinda miss talking to you." 

for a moment, seungcheol looked desperate, and minghao was about to run. hesitating, he walks back to the older, and they take a seat on one of the tables around them. 'it won't hurt to talk to seungcheol for awhile, i guess' 

for a while, it was quiet. you can feel the awkwardness surrounding the two of you passed by. 

"so, how's school i guess?" seungcheol starts, trying to remove the tension between them. minghao looks at him with a blank face, and replies, "i don't know. how's your love life?" 

"complicated" he answers sighing, making the other slightly surprised that he actually did instead of cuss at him. 

confused, he asks, "why? kai told me that things are fine between you guys already?" 

"you can't always believe what you hear, hao." seungcheol stayed wisely. 

"there's more? what the have you been hiding?" 

"i don't know, what have you been hiding?" 

"touché."

it was an awkward situation going on between the two boys. minghao was just blankly staring at his friend sitting in front of him while said friend tried to think of something they could talk about without the two of them getting uncomfortable. and after a while, the younger started to get a little impatient.

"can i go now?" minghao asked impatiently as he checked the time on his phone. "it's getting pretty late, and i don't want mingyu or seokmin to think something happened."

"they always think that though," replies seuncheol with a more annoyed tone than he intended. 

"i know that. i'm just trying to find a way to get away from this place and you."

"do you hate me or something, minghao?" 

"no, i'm just really annoyed."

"why?" 

"why would i tell you?"

"minghao, aren't we supposed to be this entire family like group? i'm like a brother to you, remember? what's so hard about telling me stuff?" the older questioned, firing questions at his friend. 

"you should ask yourself the same question," the younger shot back. 

"you're acting as if i haven't told kai and taehee anything. stop being immature, minghao."

"oh shut up, we all know there's more to that sad story of yours." he rolls his eyes. seungcheol clenches his jaw angrily as he sat on the seat with his arms crossed. feeling like he's had enough, he talks a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. 

"why are you in such a bad mood? you're usually so happy."

"i don't ing know, okay? not that you would care anyway." and with that, minghao left, his backpack hanging on one shoulder, and his hand ruffling his already messy hair. 

"oh, believe me, i do care," muttered seungcheol, knowing that his friend was already out of the library. "i really do."