Parents lie. 

All of them do. Everyone lies, after all.

Parents lie that Santa Clause is real. They lie that the tooth fairy will come collect your tooth in exchange for money. They lie when they say 'I love you'.

Okay, the last part isn't really true, because when most parents say they love you, they mean it. 

But then there's the parents who don't really mean it.

Jongin always thought, what's the point of lying like that? If your parents didn't really love you, why would they have you? Why would they keep you?

Kim Jongin's parents never paid attention to him. All they cared about was his younger sister. And yes, Jongin does love her to, but it was hard to love her when she stole everything from him.

Jongin was 4 when his younger sister was born. And like any first born, he got jealous that they stopped paying mind to him and started to pay attention to his sister more.

He understood that though. She was younger, and needed more attention. He took care of her too. He was always there for her, and his parents, but they were never there for him.

He didn't realize this until his 8th grade graduation.

Jongin was getting ready with his class. He thought his parents would show up, but when he made his way to the stage to collect his certificate, he couldn't find his parents in the crowd.

He didn't think much of it. Finding 3 faces in a crowd of thousands, it's like finding a needle in a haystack.

After the ceremony, when everyone was reuniting with their families, Jongin was left alone, looking.

After almost everyone had left, he sat on a chair, his hope deflated. Now there was hardly anyone left, so where were his parents?

"Hey Jongin!" One of his friends had yelled. His friend came up to the 8th grade boy that was sitting by himself. "My mom and I are going to eat, you want to come?"

"No thanks, I'm looking for my parents."

"Ummm.." Jongin's friend looked around awkwardly, scratching his head. "Jongin, no ones here. Everyone left."

Jongin knew it was true, but actually hearing someone say it was a lot harder.

"I guess you're right." Jongin sighed, trying to laugh it off, but even his friend could tell it wasn't working. "Is that offer to join you for dinner still on the table?"

His friend smiled. "Yeah, my moms waiting in the car." His friend led Jongin by the hand to the car, and they went out to eat.

It was nice. His friends mom was kind. She paid attention to both of them equally, even though she had only met Jongin twice before. It was different than what Jongin ever felt, he wasn't used to the attention.

"Thank you for the food." Jongin bowed to his friends mother when he stepped out of the car. 

"No problem." Her warm voice spoke.

"See ya Jongin!" His friend said. 

When the car drove off, Jongin was left in front of his house, contemplating whether he should go in or not. Maybe running away would just be easier, it's not like they would notice.

"I'm hom-" Jongin cut himself off when he saw his parents laughing, watching tv with his little sister.

"Oh, hi Jongin," His mother began, looking back from the couch. "How was graduation?"

"Did you guys forget?" Jongin didnt want to hear their reply, because deep inside he still wanted to believe that they forgot.

"Well, no." His father began. "You see what happened was that you're sister wa--"

"Whatever." Jongin cut him off. He was done with their excuses.

"Excuse me mister?" His mother finally got up, hand on her hip. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"It's okay..." His father took his mothers hand, attempting to pull her back down on the couch. His attempt failed.

"No, it's not okay!" His mother moved towards Jongin. "You apologize to your father. Right. Now." 

"For what!?" 

"For what?" His mom repeated, hissing. "For the way you just talked to your father!"

Pathetic. It really was. His parents deliberately didn't come to his graduation, and he's the one who has to apologize.

"How about you guys apologize to me?! It was my graduation! I've been telling you about this for months now! And you guys promised you would come! Couldn't I just have this one thing to me?! It's always about my sister and I'm tired of--"

Jongin's mom suddenly slapped him, hard.

"Go to your room." Her voice was small, but oozing with anger. His father and sister watched silently.

Jongin could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He glared at his mom, scoffing and going upstairs to his room.

He must've cried all night. No one ever came to check on him. They didn't care about his feelings, they never did.

That's when Jongin started to get into drugs.

Once in High School, he began to hang around with the bad kids. Jongin wasn't scared of anyone, and that attracted the druggies. 

Jongin didn't use drugs at first, he simply watched as his new friends did them. But soon, with things getting worse at home, he started.

Soon enough, drugs became something he needed in order to function. They were an everyday thing. His grades were falling, he started to care less and less. Teachers noticed, his parents didn't.

One of his teachers found him skipping class one day, getting high. It was stupid, but that morning Jongin had it particularly tough, and the teenage boy couldn't wait till after school to get his fix.

That's how he ended up here, in the group home. 

The teacher informed his parents. His parents never even asked him why he started to use. 

They were hysterical at first, but then they didn't care, and at that point, neither did Jongin.

His parents don't even come to visit on visitation days. That's what hurt more than anything.

"It's okay Jongin, I'm here." Kyungsoo said one night, cradling the younger boy who was suffering from a withdrawal. They were in Kyungsoo's room. Kyungsoo had a room all to himself. Well, technically that room is a closet, but it's where Jongin spent a lot of his time.

The younger was glad there was a space just to Kyungsoo and himself. It was comforting, knowing he could come into the penguin's room whenever he wanted, and not having the other boys notice.

Jongin didn't need Kyungsoo (the younger didn't even like the older at first), but the penguin was always there to help him, and soon the younger grew attached to the attention.

And that attachment soon grew into liking, and that soon turned into love. It was a love that Jongin couldn't deny anymore, no matter how hard he tried.

That's why the younger kissed Kyungsoo. It was a kiss he dreamed about for days. He needed that kiss, just like he needed Kyungsoo.

Jongin dreamed that it would be a little more romantic. He didn't want to do it in the boys locker room, but something came over him. The younger wasn't thinking in that moment, his heart was in control. And his heart wanted Kyungsoo. 

When the older pushed Jongin off, he didn't know what to think. He remembered who he was. He remembered, they were both guys. He remembered, they lived in a group home. All rationality came back.

Jongin, out of panic, threatened Kyungsoo. He told the older not to tell anyone. 

Their friendship, or whatever their relationship was, was ruined. Jongin had ruined it. He went back to being cold to the older, when in reality, the cute penguin haunted his every dream, and nightmare.

Jongin, wasn't gay. He never thought he was anyways, before Kyungsoo.

Back when Jongin was still a junkie, he did things with a lot of girls. He never even thought of doing it with a boy. It never crossed his mind.

And even now, Jongin's has a somewhat-girlfriend.

His somewhat-girlfriend is named Dahee. She's pretty, smart, and in the same grade as Jongin. 

Dahee has liked Jongin ever since 9th grade started, ever since they met.

It started with a project, where the teacher paired the two as partners. Then it became a friendship. And now, they are best friends.

She knew almost everything about Jongin. She knew how he was a junkie. How he lives in a group home. How his parents never cared about him. The only thing she didn't know about Kim Jongin, was his unquestionably love for Do Kyungsoo. Nobody knew about that.

"Jongin, are you listening?" Dahee asked during lunch. Jongin was not listening. It was only an hour ago when he kissed Do Kyungsoo, and it was only an hour ago when he got his heart broken to.

"Me? Yeah." Jongin lied, laughing it off.

Dahee gave him a confused stare. "Yah, is there something going on? We tell each other everything." She leaned in, whispering so their other friends at the lunch table didn't hear. "Do we need to go somewhere to talk about it?"

Jongin shook his head. "I'm okay, seriously Dahee. I'm fine." He smiled, the most unrealistic smile he ever smiled. 

"O-okay. You know if you ever need to talk, I'm here." Dahee is a very nice girl. Jongin sometimes wondered why he didn't like her like she liked him. Everyone said they looked cute together, but Jongin just couldn't pretend to like her. She is too wonderful to hurt.

Jongin was okay for a while after getting rejected. Actually, he was never okay, since he couldn't move on.

He saw Kyungsoo everyday, they lived together for heavens sake, so how could Jongin move on? 

How could he move on when the penguin was everything he ever wanted? Everything he ever needed? 

 And now, with Minseok living in the group home and taking Kyungsoo away, Jongin just couldn't bring himself to not care.

The young boy got jealous. He hated Kim Minseok. Kyungsoo gave him all his attention, something that used to be reserved only for Jongin. 

The penguin was acting like he didn't even care about the younger anymore. It reminded Jongin of his parents. 

But unlike his parents, Jongin couldn't not care about Kyungsoo. He couldn't force these feelings away.

Jongin blamed himself. If he wouldn't have kissed the older, then they still would've been friends. But no matter how many times Jongin had thought of that alternative reality, that would never be enough for him. 

Jongin couldn't just be friends with Kyungsoo. You can't just be friends with someone you're madly in love with.

That's when Jongin started to use again. He had to do it secretly, and the only time he could use was at school. It was much harder to do drugs now that he was living in the group home, but he managed to get by.

Jongin was making such good progress, but that all was ruined now.

Jongin used drugs, but it was for a different reason now.

Before, he did it to get his parents attention. So they could notice, so they would care.

Now, he did it to forget about Kyungsoo. He thought of that boy every second of everyday, and that was killing him. Jongin couldn't handle withdrawals alone, even though he wanted to believe he could. After Kyungsoo began helping him, he couldn't remember what it was like before the penguin.

Jongin needs Kyungsoo. It's ridiculous, because he never needed anyone ever before. But that was different now....

Kyungsoo is Jongin's drug.

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So, do you guys like it? Sometimes, when I'm reading over my chapter, I feel like it's hard to understand :( is it hard to understand? :p regardless, I hope you guys liked it! :))  I really liked writing Jongin's chapter! <3