"Aaaah, my hair is so messy!" one girl screamed while looking at the mirror in a practice room.
"How can you still be so pretty even in a sweat like this, Unnie??" another girl asked the oldest girl there.
"Uhh, standard things... Anyway, whose idea is this to take a group picture after practice?" The unnie was being sarcastic. She knew that it was my idea. But I knew, if it wasn't that day, we would never take a picture together.
"C'mon, guys, take your position!" I say. "Give me the best camera." One girl was quietly given the other members' phones. "Oh, you're the one who's gonna take the picture?"
"Yes," she answered simply.
"No, no. We're gonna take a selfie." I took one of the phones on her hands and opened the camera app.
"Shut up, your hair looks fine," another girl told the first girl while dragging her to the formation.
"Guys... C'mon..." The maknae talked to the group with her soft voice. No one heard it.
"Squishy, come here, stand right beside mom," a girl called her.
"Oh... Okay......"
"Hhh... So chaotic, these girls," someone suddenly whispered from the behind of my back. I only nodded and told her to go back to her position.
She walked to the right side of the girl. The girl with a not-so-messy-anymore hair stood behind her, beside the cool-looking girl. The shy maknae stood in the middle, acted so cheerful. One girl moved to the front, ready with her sweet-looking v-sign. Behind her, the unnie smiled in a modest way. The quiet girl stood close to her, right behind me who was gonna take the picture. Including myself, I waited for 8 girls until we were ready. "Say cheese. 1... 2......"

Tima has passed. I still can hear them all. So loud. So childish. 
I hear them every time I look at the picture that we took that day. The photo that I always hide so the Twice members can't find it. The secret that I don't want to share with anyone. But today, after more than a year, I look at it again. I guess now I'm ready to embrace that past again........

***

"It has been a long time since three of us are together like this," I say. Today, for some reasons, I'm accompanied by Sana and Tzuyu. We are waiting for our photoshoot turn outside the building. It would be freezing if we're not wearing padded jackets, but right now I enjoy the wind. The weather is so nice, the scenery is also peaceful around here. I'm in a really good mood.
"Yeah! I'm happy that Tzuyu is here. Cutie cutie maknaaae~" Sana says while pinching Tzuyu's cheeks.
"Hh..." Looks like Tzuyu can't do anything, except pulling herself out to dodge her (but fail anyway). Maybe she doesn't really want to dodge Sana's pinch hmm...
"You're happy to meet me and Haeju too, aren't you?" Sana asks.
"You wish."
"Uww, our savage maknae is so cute!"
"I'm not cute..."
"Squishy squishy~" Sana tries to pinch her cheeks again. Tzuyu's right cheek is stretched, so is her lips. She's showing a poker face but Sana is so right, Tzuyu looks so cute.
As Sana's laughing at her, suddenly a memory comes into my mind. 'Squishy'... I remember something that I don't want to remember. That group I'm trying to forget. "What's happening, Unnie?" Tzuyu asks.
"Uhh, nothing," I answer.
"Your face is changed," Sana says.
"Her 'expression', not her 'face'," Tzuyu corrects her.
"Alright, guys, I think this is the time," I tell them, "Both of you will be the one who hears this old story of mine."
"What's story?" Sana and Tzuyu ask me almost at the same time.
"It's about... The members of my ex-girl group."

***

You know that I hate talking about this, the group that I used to debut with. It contains a traumatic experience for me as that group failed in the end. But it doesn't mean I have no a good memory about it as well. I used to have some friends there. There were 8 of us, they were Naeul, me, Eunsuk, Jhinae, Seulgi, Minjeong, Chanmi, and Taeyeon...

1. Ran Naeul 란나을 (1994)
Position: Visual, center
Nickname: The Fake Maknae
Naeul Unnie was the first person I knew in that agency. We became friends so fast as she was an easy-going person. Naeul Unnie was kinda a weird person. Outside, she was friendly, cheerful, childish, really beautiful, took care of herself a lot, a fashionista, and looked so elegant. Everyone admired her, a typical visual of the group. But inside, she knew a lot about magic stuffs. She could read people fortune using astrology and tarot cards. Sometimes, Naeul Unnie was into dark stuffs too. By dark stuffs, I mean depressed pictures and quotes that she saved in her phone. But not many people knew that. Unnie is known for her clingy personality and beautiful appearance. She was the fake maknae before it was popular as Nayeon's nickname.
To be honest, I admired her secretly. She was so pretty and caring to me. People always saw us hanging out together. We were so loud when we were together, so opened to each other. If only we had different genders, probably I had asked her out. She was so popular among the men, but I didn't know why she had not dated one of them hmm...

2. Ahn Haeju 안해주 (1995)
Position: Leader, Lead vocal
I was so different back then. I was so ambitious. All I thought was career, career, and career. Highkey I knew that I didn't need anyone but me. Friends would be just a burden. That was why I was so reserved to people, especially when I thought I didn't need that person to reach my dream. I was kinda traumatic to make some friends tho. I closed my heart so tight that I didn't let people get too close. But my social mask was so great and I was so passionate about what I did, so people trusted me to lead the group. It was great to be a leader, but I didn't want to visit my old self again. It was so dark, scary, and lonely... 

3. Na Eunsuk 나은숙 (1995)
Position: Main vocal
Nickname: Mom
Do you know that there is always one person who acts as a mom in a group? In this group, Eunsuk was that person. She was loud. She corrected people mistakes and gave some advices bluntly. She pushed people to get things done. Eunsuk always took care of our practice room. She liked things to be tidy and clean. I realized that she was kinda like Jeongyeon mixed with Jihyo. But Eunsuk is kinda conservative. She thought like an old woman. When it was about dating, for her, women were more superior than men. Men were always wrong. She was like a feminist who always thought that every men didn't respect women enough. She always blamed them. I think that was why we all liked to be with her tho, hahaha...

4. Min Jhinae  민친애 (1995)
Position: Lead Dancer
Nickname: The Anti-Drama
Jhinae always took everything easily. She was cool and peaceful. She didn't like to start problems with anyone and tend to avoid conflicts. What unique about Jhinae was her way of talking. She always talked gibberish, haha... She often used words that we shouldn't use, especially when there was no camera around. She was kinda thin, so it made her looked boyish. It was so cool to see her became more feminine in front of the camera or people that we should respect. She could change 180 degrees into a slow and soft little girl. What I liked about her was her cool personality. It was comfortable to tell her many things as she didn't judge me easily.

5. In Seulgi 인슬기 (1996)
Position: Lead Rapper
Nickname: The Public Enemy
Everyone hated Seulgi. She was a chaebol (born rich because of her parents' success) who liked to be in the spotlight. She always wanted to be seen by the 'important people', like the couches, agency staffs, media, etc. Seulgi always appeared as a bright and prideful girl. But her arrogant way of talking made people not really liked to be around Seulgi. Anyway, she was still a good friend of me as she approached me well. She cared about me. She used to like to buy me foods as well hmm~ Ah, one more thing that people hated about her was she could see ghosts. Yeah, somehow she was an indigo. She could also see bad future like in the move Final Destination. I felt sympathetic for her as it was hard for her to experience supernatural moments that came at the unpredictable time.

6. Kim Minjeong 김민정 (1996)
Position: Main vocal
Nickname: Ms. Manager
For me, Minjeong was one of the cutest members of the group! Not because she was good at aegyo, but because she was so innocent. If you didn't know her, Minjeong would appear as a rough, bad-tempered, discipline girl who would always scold you. She was straight-forward when it came to criticizing people. Be prepare to be hurt if you talk to her. But, inside, she was so pure. Her personalities came out naturally as she was just like that since born. She didn't lie and didn't wear any mask in front of you. Minjeong was a kind of person that you could trust. Also, she was kinda clingy and liked to hug whoever sit right next to her...!

7. Dae Chanmi 대찬미 (1997)
Position: Main rapper
Nickname: -
There was nothing that I knew about Chanmi. As a younger member, she was polite and sensitive. She was nice, but there wasn't much to say about her. Sometimes, she was kinda awkward to the group. Nobody was really close to her. So mysterious...

8. Ahn Taeyeon 안태연 (1998)
Position: Maknae, Main vocal
Nickname: Squishy 
The maknae! She was so soft-hearted and kind. She would always say 'yes' if you asked her anything. Taeyeon was a very lovely maknae eventhough she didn't talk a lot. She was kinda chubby and it was satisfying to pinch her, that was why she was called 'Squishy'! I think Taeyeon had a lot of undiscovered talents. But, as usual, a maknae couldn't get enough part in a song or performance. Anyway, it was fun to talk with her. I joked a lot with her as she could take it with a light heart.

***

"Tell us more, Juu!~" Sana yells. I can only smile to hear that. I can't help but sigh. She takes my hand, "Promise me you will tell a little bit more about them! They sound like good people~"
"Uhh...They were. Yes."
"I wonder if I can meet them one day," Tzuyu says.
I recall my memories with those 7 girls. My ex-friends. Everything that we've gone through together comes back to my head. "Geez... I become sentimental again," I say while realizing a tear comes out from my eye involuntarily. 
"Aww...."
"I'm sorry, Unnie......" Tzuyu holds my hand.
Sana hugs me.

I close my eyes, secretly, wishing all of my new and old friends to enjoy their life. I hope that they are happy wherever they are now. I hope they're proud of their self as I'm always proud of them.....

(a/n) First of all, thank you so much for 500 subs T.T What a milestone...
I hope you enjoy the journey with Haeju so far (as I do!) I'm really happy to get your support, it's so meaningful for me.

Those people above are my friends in real life (with a dramatization in describing them). I change their names, but their years of born are accurate. By the way, I notice in chapter 1, Haeju said that she debuted with 4 girls only. She did. Not all of them debuted in the end although they meant to be debuted together.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed a little teaser of Haeju's past. Again, thank you for 500 subs!!! >.<
Lowkey wanna be the most subscribed twicexoc fanfic, CAN WE GET 700 SUBS??! HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON NOW!!!!! *screaming with obsession* LOL XD