Dear Journal,

While Seungcheol was holding me tight, from there I whispered him the words ive been wanting to tell him, I confessed. He froze and I felt that.

"Ive been loving you since 8th grade Choi Seungcheol and up until now, I still am," 

"Jeonghan.." he whispered and his voice cracked. He sniffed and buried his face against my neck. God, I waited for years to see him like that and then he said the 2 of the most painful words. "Why now.." 

At that moment, it crashed. All of me shattered into pieces because I realized then, we wont happen. For a second, I thought I could be together with him.

To be honest, I feel foolish. Foolish for holding onto him like this and killing myself slowly. Shutting my heart out because of him when I shouldve let someone enter. I honestly thought, when I return home, would he be there? I know, I dont have the right to expect because im the one who left. But still, if you love someone, dont you automatically think about the possible good endings? Ha.......Happy endings dont exist in real life.

Im still crying over the fact that we will never happen. Destiny damned us so ing much that even if we get reincarnated and we meet again, we will never happen. In our past life, he mustve been a royalty and I was a peasant. 

This will be my last. The last journal entry ill ever write and ill burn it. I realized I only kill