Dear Journal,

After Seungcheol's championship shot, he was instantly popular especially among girls. Not only he was good looking, he was also a gentleman to everyone. He respected other people and out of everyone in the whole school, I knew him the most.

He got invited to eat lunch with the whole basketball team in the gym, on the bleachers. The cheerleading squad and basketball team ate their lunches together because you know, highschool cliche. Basketball team dates the Cheerleaders. I didnt mind since it was just a one time thing, its not like they will take away my bestfriend or something. I ate lunch alone that day.

And then it continued..

It kept on happening..

And happening..

And happening.................

By the end of 8th grade, I stopped walking him to his classes because he was always with his new friends. It was alright for me though, were together afterschool anyways. So I wasnt worried.

During P.E. class one time, he ran up to me one time with the biggest smile. I can still remember how his bangs bounced up and down. That time, whenever he smiled, my insides would turn and my heart would beat rapidly. I started thinking, am I gay? Because that wasnt normal. A straight man feeling that way when he sees another straight man was just wrong to me at the time. I wasnt gay. I said firmly that time. Most definitely, "Im not inlove with Seungcheol."

8th grade, and I denied my own uality. When