Dear Journal,

When he asked her for prom, that was the day I first cried because of him. The pain of seeing someone you love so much, love someone else killed me slowly. He was so close to me, yet so ing far. He was within arms reach, but I could never get hold of him. I was right infront of him but he refused to see me. So when he kneeled down, infront of the whole student body, holding the flowers I picked, flowers I liked the most, I couldnt hold it in anymore and stormed away. I made sure he never sees me because he would definitely run after me.. that, I wished. But judging from how he was right then, he wont run after me.

My eyes fogged up with tears and I couldnt breathe. A senior, a graduating grade 12 student started sobbing his way out of school was a sight to see for the freshmens. I hopped on my bike and raced home. I crashed my bed and hugged my knees. My mom came running in that day, she held me and asked what was wrong. I screamed... I yelled at my own mom. She was confused and worried at me, I saw that in her eyes. She decided to leave me alone and I was ing thankful she left because next thing I did, I swiped the things off my desk to the floor. The pictures of me and Seungcheol growing up crashed down the hardwood floor as I was crying so much...

I was in pain. All the pain and frustrations that built up inside of me over the last 4 years of being in love with someone I can never have finally g